Nieces...nephews... Are they yours or your husbands?

So this has bugged me lately...

My brother and sister do not have kids.

My husband's brother has 2 daughters, the other has a step daughter.

Now the step daughter I have met twice, and really know nothing about, and don't consider her my niece as such.

But the other 2 girls are Charlotte's cousins, I think of them as my nieces, but is that actually right? They were born after DH and I were together, so am I aunty? We refer to their parents as Charlotte's aunt and uncle (they are not married though).

Are they our nieces, or my husbands?



(Oh yes, can you tell? I am into solving the crucially important mysteries of the world here...:rofl:)

I consider my DH's nieces and nephews to be my nieces and nephews as well, same goes for mine with him.

Between the 2 of us we have 3 nieces and 9 nephews.

Your married so they are yours as well imo. Family is family. Especially if its a long term partnership, no matter when the neices/nephews were born.

My sister is the only sibling with a child. My SIL is getting married next year so Im sure more neices/nephews wont be far off. I regard my nephew and any of her kids as equal in standing if that makes sense? Theyre all equally our neices/nephews no matter who's sibling they belong too.

We always say they are our neices or nephews.

DH is an only child, and he considers my brother to be his brother, so my brothers children are his neices and nephews.
When we found out my brother's partner was having a baby, DH was absolutely stoked that he was going to be an uncle, and when she was born he was just as over the moon as I was, and when she passed he grieved for his neice.

But to answer your question, I dunno. I suppose that technically they are his neices but I dunno

My brother has a DD and DS, who we are close to and when we lived close to them (now 800km away!) we saw them every week at least once. We lived at mums house(where they live whne they were both little so they are "our" neice and nephew. They are the only cousins DD and DS know personally.
DH has 6 nephews and one step nephew, but they live 14-18hrs drive away from us in another state and always have. I have met them very infrequently, as has DH, though his first nephew he was very close with when he was young (but he's now 16 and DH has lived away from home for 14yrs). Now we don't even see them yearly or really talk to them at all either. So while they are both his brothers children, and still family who we would help in an instant, neither of us feel particularly close to them.
Does that answer your q's??

I would consider you an aunty..
One of my mum's sister's got married when I was about 10 or so, then they had children after that. My mum & dad are their kids aunty/uncle, and the sister & her hubby are my & my brother's aunt & uncle. ITMS!

Hmmm Im in same situation I guess. Im an only child, whereas DF has brother & sister both with 2 kids each. Ummm his family calls me 'Aunty Lissy' to the kids so Ive just run with that, but I would also be ok if they didn't. I guess I dont really have an answer for you coz Ive just gone with whatever his family has felt comfortable with. As for how I feel, I spose I feel closer/'Aunty like' to his oldest nephew, who was born well & truly before I was on the picture, but we have seen him the most & he has been to stay with us. Sounds horrible but I feel so much closer to some of my friends kids than I DF's neice's & nephews really.

i would say they are BOTH YOUR nieces. df and i are the eldest and only ones who have kids, but growing up i remember my aunty's long-term patners were my uncles, and the aunts that didnt have long term relationships, well they were just "family friend" kwim?

They're your nieces and nephews if they are your DH's nieces and nephews.
I will admit that although in theory they should be equal I love my siblings' children more than I love my SIL's children.

Shel's sister has three girls, almost-18, 16, and 13, born well bofore we met, and I consider them my neices and they call me aunty. Shel and I arent married but they started calling me aunty about 6 months after we got together.
I have an aunty who met my mums brother after I was born, and she'll always be aunty to me.
It's the role you play, not where or when you joined the family.

I would definitely consider you an aunty.

my bil has 2 boys who i consider my nephews as i have been in there life there whole lifes but he seperated and is with a lady who has a daughter i would accept being called aunty if she started she's 4 so calls my mil grandma

You sure are an Aunty LOL. I only have one niece from my own siblings, but 4 from DH's siblings and they have always been my nieces and nephews. We don't actually call each other Uncle or Aunty though, except for DH's sister, who has always just been Aunty.

Interesting! I would say yep you are their Aunty. I have always thought of dh and I as aunty and uncle on both sides but I thought I'd ask him. I said do you think of yourself A,A and J's uncle? (Terrible aunty I am I left out 2 others we never see!) He said he doesn't really think like that. He said he only met his real aunts and uncles a few times so doesn't think much about titles at all.

I guess it's up to you guys as to whether they're 'his' or 'ours'! My brother doesn't have kids (thank GOD...) and he always referred to his ex in the kids' presence as 'Aunty B', which I didn't at all like and told him to stop. They broke up a while ago and he's learned his lesson - the new girlfriend has been around for a really long time now but he doesn't insist the kids call her 'Aunty S', she's just 'S' to the girls. Until they marry, she's 'temporary' imo ;) (I should add that they're both very immature and I honestly don't see them being together forever... they say they're 'engaged' but pfft, that means nothing without a ring and some plans imo... they'll break up at the first sign of trouble, same as always, just because my brother has the emotional intelligence of a 12-year-old, iwkwim).

When I was a kid, my dad's sister partnered with a man who she later married, but I remember him asking to be referred to just as 'A' instead of 'Uncle A' until their wedding. Maybe he was being respectful of my parents and trying to prevent my brother and I becoming too attached in case something did go wrong with their relationship, but many, many years on he's now 'Uncle A' for sure and I'll never think of him any different, no matter what :)

I'd say you're all of their aunty :D

I don't have any siblings so no nephews or nieces on my side but definately consider DH's nephews and nieces as "ours".

Regards,
Dianne

my brothers kids are our nieces and nephews - they call DH Uncle Boof, and have done pretty much the whole time we've been together.

DH has two siblings from whom he is estranged, and they both have children older than me (DH was an oopsie for his parents) - even though i have a minimal amount to do with one of his nephews (out of necessity) i do not consider him MY nephew - he is simply S, who i am forced to deal with. i think if the relationship status was different my feeling would be different. the estrangement also means that if we are ever unfortunate enough to run into DH's siblings again (one lives less than half a km from us, but doesn't know we're here) - at the shops or something, and they try and play the "aunty" card, they will be told in no uncertain terms it wont' be tolerated

we do have a lot of other "surrogate" Aunts and Uncles in DD's life though! she isn't missing out!

I would say yes...if they are your DH's nieces and nephews then they are yours too. When talking about my sister's DP to my DD I call him Uncle **** and he has a son from another partnership who is my sister's DSS and I refer to him as DD's cousin, exactly the same as my sister and her DP's bio child.