3rd MC in 10 months how do you find the strength to get through it all.

After getting my BFP on my bday on the 9th of Jan. we were so excited and happy to have fallen pregnant again after 2 MC since April 2010. I had 3 ultra sounds 1 at 5 weeks, 1 at 6 weeks and another at 8weeks 5 days all detecting a lovely strong HB from bub, then Saturday 2 weeks ago I had a gall stone attack they sent me for an ultra sound the very next morning to find bubs heart had stopped beating at exactly that moment I was having the US once again our hearts have been ripped open and left to bleed dry. My DR tells me I had a 1-2% chance of MC after having detected such a strong HB at my US which leaves me feeling like where did I go so wrong to lose our little angel this time around. I was 9 weeks and 4 days PG when bubs heart stopped and that was the day of my last US.
My GP has now given me numerous BT to start checking for a reason as to why I am MC and another DR tells me today that all my BT have come back neg. to everything they have tested for and he then tells me this is a good thing, well NO it's not a good thing to me as I need and want to know I have lost such a heathy little bub in the first place.
Tonight I sit here in my bedroom feeling lost and wanting answers I know I probably never will get, I have cramps that feel like I am in labour and I'm sure I am about to gush out at any second.
My GP now wants to refer me to a fertility specialist but I have no idea where to go from here, the DR not my usuak DR tells me today JUST KEEP TRYING, I felt that was such a HUGE slep in the face to me and my bub that I have lost.
Not sure if I am asking for advice but I will take it if any one can give it, it has taken e nearky 2 weeks to even work up the courage to post in here again.
Thank you in advance for your support.

Oh hun, I have no advice, just :hug:

I am so sorry... Definitely get in to see a FS because I don't think 3 MC in a row is a good thing :(

:hug: so sorry for your loss

Hey chick, thought you had been quiet.
I wish I had some wonderful soothing advice, but all I have is empathy and all the support you need.
:hug:

I have been in that very sucky 1-2% too, and it seems all doctors learn the same lines, cos I've heard those exact ones. I'm so sorry this has happened.

Oh Hun, I'm so sorry for your loss :( My heart just sank for you, I was just so happy to hear of your BFP and was hoping like mad this was the one for you xoxox I hope things can only get better and that you don't go thru this again xoxoxox :hug:

:hug:

Definitely see a FS so you can get some answers.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I agree with toomanyshoes definitely see the FS Hun. It's just devastating what you're going through and so hard to continue trying. Have you considered seeing a naturopath? If you're in Melb Gina Fox at Fertile Ground is fantastic, I saw her & was put on vitex & got my sticky bub 4 months later.
Be kind to yourself hun, wish I could give you a big hug!
Hope you've got plenty of support around you at the moment.

Clairesmummy- :cry: I am so sorry hun :hug: We have had really similar experiences, I have also had 3 m/c after having a healthy pg. My last m/c was in august last year, and i had a d&c so that the baby could be tested, because they kept telling me it was the baby had problems, even though they'd never tested them. It turned out that i was pg with a little girl, and there was nothing wrong with her.
All the tests i had done came back normal....except my progesterone level. I am pg again now, 10w atm, and have been taking progesterone pesseries and so far so good. Maybe get your levels looked at???
Im sorry they said just keep trying, it's very hurtful and makes you just want to punch them in the face.
I hope what iv'e shared has helped in some way, and definately go to a FS, they will support you while getting pg, and when you are pg. They may be able to give you answers.
Fly free little angel, and watch over your mummy xoxox

Thank you all so much for all yhour kind words I truly appreciate them more than I can explain in words at this time. I am still having cramps at the moment and have had them most of the night as well. Not alot of bleeding yet just some spotting but with all the cramping the bleeding won't be to far off going by me other MC.

Yas I have always felt that something just is/was not right with my hormone levels mainly Progesterone as I would O and always seem to have a short LP of around 8-9 days then when i went in to see my last so called OB/GYN he never did any testing at all just gave me an ultra sound and put me straight onto Clomid with no BT apart from what my GP had given me and they showed no Oing. I fell PG on my first round of Clomid (this pg) and still he never did any testing at all only US which to me at the time was weird but I just told myself he knows what he is doing he is the specialist. I have read so many other ladies journies on here and they mostly all say about all the tests they have had done when seeing a specialist and I was not offered anything apart from scanning. We are now looking into finding a good FS on the Sunshine Coast as we have now decided it is time to move from western QLD where good DR and FS are to hard to come by and also to be closer to my family and my sister for thier support through this nightmare. I wish you all the very best with your PG hun and sending you massive amounts of sticky vibes, thank you for your advice I truly appreciate it.

Big :hug: darlin. I concieved this pg on clomid too, it took me 3 rounds but i got there. I had progesterone monitoring 1 cycle before i started and then every cycle i was on clomid. BUT i had progesterone pessaries to support/ lengthen my luteal phase and maintain the pg. And i think it's working, i haven't had an alive baby at 10w since my son.
I hope you can find a good FS, that will support you through this horrible journey. My OB gives me weekly u/s per my request, and emergency appointments if im cramping (i have a serious bladder infection it turns out) I think it's so important for your peace of mind, your already going to be terrified enough next time IYKWIM?
If you need anything feel free to PM me, do you know what tests they have done?
GL sweetheart, keep us updated and i'm thinking of you xoxox

So far my GP has done alot of BT on me since finding out bub had passed she is concerned about 1 test in particular as it came back with high numbers and I can't remember what it is called but it picks up any swelling in your body, she also done testing for auto immune diseases, kidney/liver function, lupus, thyroid, diabetes, toxoplasmosis and many others but they have all come back neg.

I'm so sorry for your losses. A LP of 8-9 days is a worry. I think alot of time we have an instinct for these things that some doctors just ignore. After my m/c, I had BT during my next pregnancy. I started spotting 5-6 weeks and my progesterone was low. I started progesterone suppositories and did not m/c. I have a LP of 10-11 days and figure maybe there's not enough progesterone, maybe there is. It doesn't hurt to take it JIC and if it prevents a m/c for that reason, then great. If there's something else wrong with bub, it won't prevent a m/c but at least I'll know I've done all I could.

I hope you get more answers from another Dr soon.

Tash~ With both my other losses I started spotting very early on in my PG but this time everything was going along great than everything so quickly fell apart on us this was the first time we had gotten a HB the other 2 angels never recorded a HB at all. And to top it off the DR I had to see yesterday tells me if you need someone to blame for your MC blame your partner as this could be his fault for your recurrent MC. He was just a heartless young quake I never wish to see ever again and I can't wait for me GP to come back to work again.

Ouch - that's awful. What a horrible thing to say!

It does remind me. DH and I both had karotyping (chromosome analysis) to check if there was a genetic reason for m/c. Something like a balanced translocation can cause recurring m/c. It's an expensive test but may be something worth looking at (about $400 pp). Did you have bub tested?

Im so sorry for your losses. My first angel had passed before we saw the heartbeat but we heard a perfectly healthy heartbeat just two weeks before I lost the second. Its so hard and Im glad you are getting tested.

How dare that Dr blame your partner! Im sure he is going through enough!:hug::hug:

Clairesmummy- Can you find out what test came back abnormal? My advise is to get copies of all the tests you have had done and keep them for your records, and take them to your FS.
Hun, your doctor is an *******. I would swap doctors hun.
I understand how upset and confusing it is to see a HB and then have them pass away shortly after. I seen lily's heartbeat 5 days before she passed, and everything looked normal with her (turns out everything was normal) but i didn't know she had gone until 3 weeks later.
Hun, i think you just need lots of :hug: :hug: :hug: right now, especially after your horrible doctors comments, and i think we're all happy to give them to you :hug:
Hope you get a good nights rest and peaceful dreams xoxox

hun big hugs from me also, i am appalled the dr said that to you, he should be encouraging you to rely on your partner for support not suggesting blaming each other for something you have no control over, im so angry to hear that happened to you

:comfort: I know I have posted this many times before but it was sent to me during some of my lowest of lows with my losses it helped me to reflect to take a step back I dont know if it will help you but it has a wonderful meaning behind

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

Sorry babe no advice just lots of big :hug:s