How do I support her without being annoying?

A friend of mine is having her 2nd child in a month and with her 1st she finished BF around 6 weeks due to what she thought was lactose intolerance (never diagnosed) and she thought she had supply issues (baby grew off the charts) I think she didn't enjoy it but didn't want to say so (which is fine, BF is not for everyone) . Anyway she said to me the other day that she wants to give it a better go this time and wants my help.
I'm no expert but I am very passionate that breast is best and in any advice I give her I don't want to come across as some over the top breast feeding activist, so how do i help and encourage her through?
her main issues are that her Ds used to scream for most of the afternoon when young (less than 8 weeks) and that he wouldn't go for longer than 5 hours at night (again less than 8 weeks) now for the most part I think these things just come with having kids.
I explained that from what i have heard all babies have the witching hours where the are unsettled and cry/scream for no reason and that in time they will grow out of it and it might be a good time to go for a walk, give bub a bath etc, come round for a coffee if she is feeling like she needs a chat etc. What else can I do?
I should also add that at times I worry that her expectations of her LO's are unrealsitic (like expecting bub to sleep 6 plus hours from 6 weeks) she also introduced solids very early to assist with getting her first bub to sleep through, so any ideas on how to assist or should I stay out of it? I only ever offer her my opinion if she asks for it but don't want to offend or upset with my response.
Sorry if this doesn't read very well, it's kind of hard to explain it all on paper
Thanks

Buy her a subscription to ABA & a BFing education class that ABA run.


sorry FAK

what is FAK?

I'd do the ABA thing too. Are you a member? Could you take her along to a meeting? Normalising breastfeeding and normal baby habits would be very helpful - as you say, she has somewhat unrealistic expectations.
It sounds like she wants advice & help, so if she asks, just tell her what you know to be true (to the best of your knowledge). And refer her to the ABA, an LC, books etc if she wants more info/expertise. She might even benefit from debreifing her first experience with an LC or ABA counsellor. She may discover that she was actually doing much better than she thought.

Hi,

MadB and Efjay took the words out of her mouth. Go to the class with her, and that will open up a whole lot of discussion between you and your friend, and you could then ask what sort of support she sees you would be able to offer

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what is FAK?

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i think it is Feeding At Keyboard i.e. breastfeeding so typing one handed.

Do you have any books you found handy? Funky cloth breast pads?

lol yep feeding at keyboard

Yes, great advice and I totally agree. Also, she might listen to you if you tell her that there was no way it was lactose intolerance (babies just don't get this, it is extremely rare and if they had it they wouldn't be able to tolerate any bm or formula from birth), but she might read an article on the subject. The link below explains that babies don't have lactose intolerance and gives some information on what is usually going on and how to make it better: Australian Breastfeeding Association - Lactose intolerance and the breastfed baby. Hopefully having some extra information will help her.

It's so great that you are trying to make things easier for her :hug: