Spirited babies, behaviour and Gymbaroo

Hi everyone.

Before I was even pregnant I knew in my heart I wanted to be a gentle parent. I was excited about a natural birth, breastfeeding, co-sleeping and dead against harsh discipline, crying it out etc.

I am learning the lesson that nothing in motherhood works to your ideals and plans - no natural birth and the struggle with breastfeeding and her breast rejection war on for 8 months. My DD has NEVER EVER been still since the moment she was born - actually during scans we made 'jokes' that she looked like she was doing press ups. She is almost 11 months old and can NOT be still, can not sit on someones lap and I have never ever felt her cuddle into me, put her head on my shoulder etc. She started crawling at six months out of pure frustration to move and be free. She always since her first week, has fought going to sleep.

I try so many things to help calm her. We did a baby massage course, I always play classical and soothing music, we 'try' to have quiet times with reading or other activities.

She is a happy engaging baby. When people meet her they can't believe how much she smiles at them. She loves dancing to music!

Which brings me to Gymbaroo. I thought this would be a great thing for her and she absolutely LOVES all the equipment, the trampoline, balls and slides but then we get to mat time - oh dear what hell is mat time! As she hates being held onto she doesn't want any part of it. The entire time is spent with me trying to keep a body stiffened screaming girl to try and take part. I try singing, clapping my hands in front of her, putting one leg out (like the teacher suggests) to try and engage her but there is no way! Although as soon as teacher puts down the 'treasure mat' and invites the babies to come she is the first one there or at the end with the maracas. She is so full of joy bouncing with her maracas in hand.

I just finished the term and am so confused and in need of good advice :( One part of me thinks this is obviously not for her but another thinks maybe I should not let her be so... wilful? Maybe going will eventually help her to learn to be still and do what the others do as this experience is making me quite concerned about her future in regards to kinda and school :(

I'm also wondering if there are other suggestions for 'groups' such as mini maestros or do all of them require mummies to hold onto their little ones?

Any advice will be appreciated
thanks

Aaaaagh - post deleted by stupid computer!

In short, you have a Liebling-baby too! Rock on. My Liebling is now really adventurous, brave, is starting to go to sleep on his own and will cuddle - albeit briefly. He has learnt to be still, but on his own terms. I have helped him and given expectations and praise, but never forced it on him. He needs to do everything in his own time, else he refuses. He went from refusing to play "schools" with his chums at pre-school to being the best writer overnight. TT could have been months of hell, but instead he decided no more nappies one day and didn't even wet the bed at night (this was after a few aborted attempts at me deciding he was ready, which he actually was). He is also thoughtful and generous, but that is because I have always been so to him.

Willful is fine, so long as it is channelled in the right direction. Think of the business leaders, politicians, ethics campaigners... they're just as willful.

Advice - if she has to sit still and cannot, don't push it yet. Either take food (kept Liebs still for 5 mins) or stand with her and bounce about/dance during the mat time, if you decide to persevere that is. I didn't persevere with a lot of things like that for Liebs.

Having been a gymbaroo mum for a few years, I would suggest this is the most tolerant place for you to be (or at least should be with the right instructor!).

My (short!) advice would be to keep going - sorry bubs is cranky with new tooth. Must go - hope to be back!!!!

My DS was exactly as you described loved the free play of Gymbaroo but mat time was a nightmare. I spent the whole time retrieving him from behind the desk or under the seats and it just became really unpleasant. In the end I stopped going as I was pregnant and it was just too hard.

I have been told that Kindergym is good for our type of kids as while there is some instruction to teach skills they have more time and freedom to explore all the equipment. So that might be worth a look.

My DS was exactly the same at Gymbaroo. He didn't want a bar of mat time and would run in the opposite direction. I would just model the behavior I wanted from him (ie participating) and let him run around. The teachers were great - they would entice him back to the circle and they were interesting enough that it would occasionally work.

At about 16 month or so he got it. We still have our crap days but generally he will participate in the mat time of his own decision and loves it.

I'm glad I persisted. We now have a ball.


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I can really sympathise hun :hug: My DS is 15 months old and loves the free play (he's not around kids/babies much, apart from his 3 month old cousin) but once he has to sit down and participate he goes all cranky pants and it's really embarassing sometimes. Majority of the other babies/toddlers are nice and quiet, and here's my whingeing lil man. I've just signed up for the next term so am hoping he'll improve soon. He loves seeing the other babies but hates doing the excercises! Basically, he hates sitting still. In the pram and in the car is the same thing, as soon as he's on the floor he's happy. GL hun!

I really need to read that other mums have babes that are like DD. This morning she was just screaming at me - tried breakfast and she threw it against the floor, tried putting her back to bed and she had a tantrum. I was thinking of yesterday with all the mums with their babes sitting peacefully on their laps and started thinking 'there is something wrong with my daughter and burst into tears. I came straight to the computer to see if anyone had replied to my post and look - mummas who can understand how I feel and giving me hugs. Thank you so much

If she has a nap today :wall: I will come back and have a good read of your replies

Hi onja. My ds1 was exactly the same at gymberoo. He would never ever sit on the mat and I felt completely out of control while I was there. It got to the point where I was not enjoying it at all. I was getting very upset and frustrated with him and I decided it wasn't right for us and we never went back. Best decision ever! If your dd wants free play, why not just try taking her to a really good playground or play centre and let her run her own race iykwim? Gymberoo is not for everyone. I like playgroups much better :)

Hi Onja,

My DS is only 3 months old but I'm sure he's going to be just like your DD!! On his scans he wouldn't sit still, the sonographer said he was one of the most wriggly babies he had seen. When he was born he was screaming when he was only 1/2 out!! He has been a wriggler ever since and won't stay still or cuddle for more than a minute. I need to change his position very frequently so he doesn't get bored. He could roll from tummy to back at 10 days old and squirms up his cot when I put him at the bottom. He is also a breast refuser....I'm still trying but giving him EBM in a bottle at the moment.

Seems like there are quite a few bubs like this!! It's good to know!!

She's 11 months old. Is that correct?
I think that at 11 months you can't really expect a baby to fit into a structure if it's not something she's into.
If she hates mat time then go and do something she does like until it is time to move onto a new activity.
I tried Gymberoo with my crazy pants and it just didn't fit us so in the end we gave up and did something else.

I just wanted to pop my head in and say that you're not alone hun! My boy is EXACTLY as you described! (the worst part being the fighting the sleep part - grrr). I really hope you find something that suits you better soon - I think if it's causing you any stress or anxiety I wouldn't continue... Every baby is unique and if they don't cater to your bubs preferences and needs then I'd give it a miss as it's meant to be fun for you AND your baby :)

Oh it is really good to know that there are other babies out there like my little darling (I am yet to meet one I must say)... Maybe WE should be starting a playgroup! LOL!!

Honestly... It can be a real tough (but extremely rewarding) ride with extremely active babies like ours... I think you have a lot of strength and are doing a fabulous job :)

I remember reading a book on "fussy babies" by william sears (attachment parenting that i am all for and this book described my boy to a T) that with demanding bubs like ours, they have the ability to be the most influential leader in the world and also the greatest criminal in the world LOL it all depends how we work with their unique characteristics and nurture them. it's tough but so worth it ;)

Good luck !!

*from one Mumma who totally understands*


Sent from my iPhone more than likely while I should be doing something else!

Danni I just found that book and bought it from Amazon, thanks!

Oh great! You're welcome :) let me know how it goes!!


Sent from my iPhone more than likely while I should be doing something else!

I'm on my phone so will try to pop in again later but basically my DD was exactly the same at Gymbaroo!! Exactly!!

I stuck it out and DD did get a bit better for mat time but it was never her favourite area. We did Gymbaroo from 4ish months through to 16ish months (I think!) then I joined a playgroup which suited DD a lot better. It's cheaper and she can 'free play' but it still has some structure such as craft, morning tea and story time.

My DD has always been a very busy baby and I don't bother fighting it. She's learnt how to sit down for morning tea, craft and story time at playgroup and she does have down time when she's ready for it at home. I continue to guide her in the right direction but mat time at Gymbaroo was just asking too much from a busy youngster. My DD loved the equipment, climbed very early and is very much the dare devil. Other kids in her class were very cautious and enjoyed mat time. They're just different personalities and that's A-OK :)

HTH

Sounds exactly like my 11month old!
For me, finding the book Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Kurcinka really helped me in terms of understanding her amazing store of energy and her need to MOVE MOVE MOVE (in the womb we would call her the wiggly worm, and at 11months she is now running!)

In terms of helping with mat time I haven't got any advice as I haven't been in that situation yet, although with other things that involve being in the one spot (car seat, high chair, shopping trolley etc) I have found that if she has something in her hands to play with it helps her from trying to wrangle free and run off. sometimes just saying 'dance, dance' will get her to dance on the spot and that can keep her occupied for a bit too.

But good luck with your mover and shaker!