Hi everyone.

Before I was even pregnant I knew in my heart I wanted to be a gentle parent. I was excited about a natural birth, breastfeeding, co-sleeping and dead against harsh discipline, crying it out etc.

I am learning the lesson that nothing in motherhood works to your ideals and plans - no natural birth and the struggle with breastfeeding and her breast rejection war on for 8 months. My DD has NEVER EVER been still since the moment she was born - actually during scans we made 'jokes' that she looked like she was doing press ups. She is almost 11 months old and can NOT be still, can not sit on someones lap and I have never ever felt her cuddle into me, put her head on my shoulder etc. She started crawling at six months out of pure frustration to move and be free. She always since her first week, has fought going to sleep.

I try so many things to help calm her. We did a baby massage course, I always play classical and soothing music, we 'try' to have quiet times with reading or other activities.

She is a happy engaging baby. When people meet her they can't believe how much she smiles at them. She loves dancing to music!

Which brings me to Gymbaroo. I thought this would be a great thing for her and she absolutely LOVES all the equipment, the trampoline, balls and slides but then we get to mat time - oh dear what hell is mat time! As she hates being held onto she doesn't want any part of it. The entire time is spent with me trying to keep a body stiffened screaming girl to try and take part. I try singing, clapping my hands in front of her, putting one leg out (like the teacher suggests) to try and engage her but there is no way! Although as soon as teacher puts down the 'treasure mat' and invites the babies to come she is the first one there or at the end with the maracas. She is so full of joy bouncing with her maracas in hand.

I just finished the term and am so confused and in need of good advice One part of me thinks this is obviously not for her but another thinks maybe I should not let her be so... wilful? Maybe going will eventually help her to learn to be still and do what the others do as this experience is making me quite concerned about her future in regards to kinda and school

I'm also wondering if there are other suggestions for 'groups' such as mini maestros or do all of them require mummies to hold onto their little ones?

Any advice will be appreciated
thanks