So unprepared for this

I'm due back at work March 13th. That's only 5 weeks away. DD will be going into childcare, and I hate it. Really, really hate it. This isn't what I expected, before DD I thought childcare was fantastic - Mum should have a life outside of home, earn money and super for later, bubs will make friends, be independent and build immunity.

But now I have her, and I'm 5 weeks away from sending her to spend a good part of her days with someone else. It's making me a mess, so I've been in denial about it. That means we're really not prepared for it. I just don't know how we're going to handle it.

I've only just started expressing so she has ebm there, but I'm not getting a lot yet - I don't know if she's going to have enough to get her through. She feeds to sleep for her naps, and still isn't all that great at drinking from her cup, she just prefers me. How are they going to get her to nap? I should have stopped feeding her to sleep, helped her with ways to settle that don't involve being cuddled and fed by me for half an hour. At childcare she'll drink her milk from a cup and then what? How will she go to sleep?

A friend at mother's group said her DS's childcare mentioned that he's obviously gotten used to being picked up over the Christmas holidays. They don't have enough arms at childcare to carry every baby when they want it, so he had to get used to not being held. I don't want her to get used to not being held! I hate the thought of her being upset on the floor and not being being attended to because there are 3 other babies to every care there.

I haven't even taken in the enrollment forms yet. I've filled them out, but I just can't bring myself to start the whole process. I still have to label all her stuff, build up more ebm, get a car seat for DH's car so he can pick her up. There are probably a million other things I haven't even thought of, and I don't know how I'm going to prepare us for such a big change in only 5 weeks.

I'm just feeling really sad about it all right now. If anyone has any tips to make it all easier, or anything I might need to do, that'd be great.

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Don't panic about the feed to sleep on boob thing - ds was fed to sleep before he went to cc (and still was a lot of the time after by me). They adapt and work out how things go. DS would feed to sleep with ebm in a bottle for DH (I went back full time with DH being a part time SAHD) and I think it was the same at cc (it's been awhile so can't quite recall) for a while and then transitioned to not feeding to sleep at cc and home when I wasn't around after awhile.


Eta - the stressing about it all probably isn't helping the expressing either - take some deep breathes and relax about it (hard to do I know). I know I knew that I'd have to go back once mat leave ran out before being pg so in some ways I was prepared for it and do could just accept it was happening but at times I wish I didn't have to.

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Don't panic about the feed to sleep on boob thing - ds was fed to sleep before he went to cc (and still was a lot of the time after by me). They adapt and work out how things go. DS would feed to sleep with ebm in a bottle for DH (I went back full time with DH being a part time SAHD) and I think it was the same at cc (it's been awhile so can't quite recall) for a while and then transitioned to not feeding to sleep at cc and home when I wasn't around after awhile.


Eta - the stressing about it all probably isn't helping the expressing either - take some deep breathes and relax about it (hard to do I know). I know I knew that I'd have to go back once mat leave ran out before being pg so in some ways I was prepared for it and do could just accept it was happening but at times I wish I didn't have to.

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I agree with the above, it is amazing how adaptable children are. My DD was still feeding to sleep when I started back at work. The carers will find their own way to settle them to sleep. I know at our nursery they were very good at listening to any concerns I had and doing things the way I wanted them done. In saying all that it is a difficult adjustment, especially for mum. It does get easier, I promise.

Janie xxx

Please try and stop stressing! (might help with the expressing too!)

I only did this a few weeks ago, and everyone told me it was going to be ok - I hated hearing it, but a few weeks in I realise how true it was.

These bubbas adapt so quickly and it really isn't bad for them.

E (a couple of months older than your DD) absolutely loves day care.
He gets excited when we pull up there, and we haven't had any issue with them putting in place his routines.

We have no problems with the picking up/not picking up issue that you mentioned.
They all want to have cuddles when I pick him before he goes home (especially on a Wednesday, as he isnt there the rest of the week!)
I was concerned about the opposite happening, them picking him up more than I do! eg E gives himself his bottle. One day I went super early to pick him up and one of the carers was nursing him and giving him his bottle, I said to her he can lay on the floor and give it to himself, she said she loves them when they are this age too much and will get cuddles whenever she can!
The carers love him, they really do care about them.

I make sure I collect him at different times where I can so I can see what is being done with him.

My main suggestion is, the week before you go back to work, start DD in day care. A couple of days in the week for 4-6hours.
She can get familiar with the place and people, they can get used to her and you will no doubt be stressing! It's better to not be stressing on your first day back at work. During those hours she is at care go and do something for yourself to take your mind off it. Hair cut, massage, facial.
This will help a little bit for your first day back at work, as it won't be her first day at care.
This probably won't be what you want to do, as it will be last week with her, but I can assure you it will help, both DD and you.

Also, when you are back at work, and if you are worrying about her, call the centre to check up on her. I did this for the first couple of weeks. They let me know what E had done, eaten, drunk, slept etc. it gave me some piece if mind until I picked him up.

Big hugs. I know exactly how you feel. I didn't think it would get easier, but it has.

Will you be returning to work full time?

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I haven't even taken in the enrollment forms yet. I've filled them out, but I just can't bring myself to start the whole process. I still have to label all her stuff, build up more ebm, get a car seat for DH's car so he can pick her up. There are probably a million other things I haven't even thought of, and I don't know how I'm going to prepare us for such a big change in only 5 weeks.

I'm just feeling really sad about it all right now. If anyone has any tips to make it all easier, or anything I might need to do, that'd be great.

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Take the forms in!!!!!! YOU will make it worse for yourself if you take them in and discover you can't get the days you want/need. Had this happen for us as CC was waiting for a couple of children to leave/move up rooms so that DS could go the 3 days we needed/wanted. I had to run around stressing about organising alternate CCs for a few weeks at the last minute just in case the leavers hadn't left in time. Thankfully they did leave with about half a weeks notice for me (DH was on holidays for the first week if things didn't work out but not for the 2nd week).

Check with what your CC wants in regard to food (when starting solids (can't see your ticker from here and I can't remember how old she is)), check about if DD can take in a comforter (if she uses one).

See if CC does orientation - a couple of hours/ half days beforehand so DD can see what things are like and not get too worried about having the whole day there from the start (we didn't end up with this because of the tight numbers in DS's room to start with but DH was home for the first week so he could pick up DS if needed).

Start a list of things that need to be done.
Break it down and then cross off each one as you do them.
For example:

• take forms in
• label bottles
• label clothes - I just label everything except PJs so I don't have to worry what goes to CC and what doesn't
• find and label at least one hat (two is probably better - I don't know where one of DS's has gone for now - could be at home/CC/grandparents...)
• organise car seat for DH car
• sort out what sort of nappies are required (our CC does disposables only and I have to supply 2 per day for home time only - so no cloth on CC days)
• work out how much EBM you're going to send in a bottle. (with DS we started with 60ml at 4mths and quickly (within a week) worked out that 90ml was better as he would take 1.5 bottles per feed there and at home - I was storing EBM in 30ml lots in the freezer. After a while it was upped to 120ml for CC)

I got a dymo labeller from Officeworks various label tapes: iron on label tape for clothes; and plastic label tape for other stuff.

(I did buy some plastic type labels online as well but I've found the labeller I've bought is cheaper in the long run for labelling everything and the refills were reasonably cheap.)

I also just use last name on my labels as then I don't have to worry about changing labels for the next child (even if they turn out to be a girl they will wear some of DS's clothes - it didn't hurt me so I figure it will be fine for my children).

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A friend at mother's group said her DS's childcare mentioned that he's obviously gotten used to being picked up over the Christmas holidays. They don't have enough arms at childcare to carry every baby when they want it, so he had to get used to not being held. I don't want her to get used to not being held! I hate the thought of her being upset on the floor and not being being attended to because there are 3 other babies to every care there.

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My friend and I both send our DD's to the same childcare and we found the opposite that they were holding and carrying far more than at home. Maybe depends on the centre but where we are I think they hold alot the under 1's as that is the easiest way to keep them happy and they get used to doing stuff while always carrying a baby. From what I have seen they are very attentive to upset babies.

Thankyou so much everyone :grouphug: Your words have helped a lot, I'm feeling better about it all. It's great to read that they adapt well to new routines and ways of going to sleep, that's been worrying me the most. She does have a small taggy blanket that I've been keeping between us when she goes to sleep, and she holds it in her sleep so at least she'll have that.

Leckert, that list is great, thankyou! I promise I'll start ticking stuff off immediately lol. I can't take in the forms til Wednesday, but will call them tomorrow to make sure everything's ok. They currently only have one group for babies who aren't walking, but they have an empty room so that when there are enough there'll be two rooms for this age. So we should be right there, the centre manager basically told us to take our time.

Sahbear, it's great to hear that everything has gone so smoothly for you. I hope we have the same experience! We'll definitely be doing some time there before work starts. They prefer two weeks ahead - a few hours with us both there to see how it works, then a few days of her there on her own for a few hours.

Leckert, how much milk did you send per feed? I have absolutely no idea how much! I think expressing is actually going better than I'm telling myself, in the morning I generally get about 60ml, and between 10 & 40 later in the day. But seeing as I don't know how much she'll need each feed, I don't know how good that is.

I realised today though, that she's really only feeding every 3-4 hours, so with a feed just before she goes there at 8, and being picked up just after 3, I'd have to send 3 feeds max (in case she needs more or DH is late). I'd need to leave one at home for DH too as I'll be getting home at 5:30. She's also getting lots better at eating (she's 7.5 months and we're doing blw). They seemed receptive to the blw which was nice.

They did say they supply disposable nappies, but I'm going to ask tomorrow about if I can send mcn's.

Earlier I went through the child profile form they gave me and that helped me feel better. There are lots of questions about her routines, how she goes to sleep, how she eats etc. Should have read that thing ages ago, it shows they care.

Sorry if I've missed anything, I can't see the posts on my phone. But thank you all so much!

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90ml bottles for ds about that age. Sometimes that was from a couple of days ebm mixed together. Just don't forget to express at some point (or more - i was doing 3-4 during a school day last time).


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Thanks Leckert. I figured it would be somewhere around the 100ml mark, but I realised today some of her feeds are really short so they're probably a bit less. I reckon she'll be ok to adjust for a while, if I start off around 100 and then reduce if I need to. Thankfully I'm getting plenty of time to express right now - first thing in the morning and then after every one of her feeds. Sometimes I'm getting one in between feeds too which is handy. I'd like to build up my supply so that I can pump a whole feed in one go, but for now I think we're ok.

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I took the forms in today! Go me! I'm a little disappointed we couldn't stay for a while, but the centre manager was in a meeting and the bubs were in the middle of lunch. So tomorrow we're going back to sit in for a bit of a play, and I'll ask about nappies, eating etc. We'll also make dates and times for DD to have some time on her own there. Thinking I might have to go get a massage when that happens to de-stress me!

About to order a backpack from Mooo for her, so it'll have her name on it. Hopefully I can get a Dymo labeller online too, no Officeworks here!

Thanks again you guys, I'm feeling pretty good about it today.

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Woohoo! Go you!
Massage sounds tops as does ordering bits and pieces.

I got E a cute backpack from pennyscallan!

I'm sure she is going to have fun :)

Big w and the like may have labellers (I saw one in big w for $50 the other day)


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Thanks sahbear :) We're going in for a half hour play tomorrow morning and I'll chat to the girl in charge of the room. They're happy for me to provide mcns & they'll do blw with her, hooray! The visits she does on her own only go for two hours so I shouldn't stress too much.

I got her bag and stuff from Mooo, so cute!

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You can order cute personalised name tags from alot of different online places too.

Hmm, I may look in Big W when I'm there on Friday. Is prefer a labeller rather than buying labels online, as that way I can make exactly what I need, have different kinds and not worry about running out. Had a look at the Officeworks site but couldn't figure out which ones could do both types of labels lol.

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I'm pretty sure I saw the dymo one at the golden grove big w on sat. I have refill tapes for plastic (most things) in different colored tapes and white iron on labels (only comes in white tape with black typing)


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