To find out or not to find out......that is the question

Soooo….what were your reasons behind finding out/not finding out.

Reason being that DH and I are both torn. Neither one of us can decide whether we want to find out the sex of this baby or not. DS was a surprise. And it was really fantastic. But we’ve put together a whole heap of pro’s and con’s both ways, and we’re stuck. Not that we don’t have heaps of time yet anyway before we need to make a decision. But I was just curious as to what the reasons were that some others either did or didn’t find out.

I never wanted to know I always wanted the surprise at the end of labour or CS.

I just loved the idea of us discovering what baby was.

Friends/Family have known sex and told everyone and often the name as well, so there is no surprise and little excitment when baby is born (off course excited as new baby but you know what I mean otherwise)

We didn't with either as it was dp's role to be the one to announce what we had. It was something special for him to do at the birth rather than be told by someone we had never met a an ultrasound.

And congrats on your pregnancy!

I had to know because I'm a control freak and wanted to get everything sorted out before he arrived.;) We kept our name a secret until he was born though.:D

We found out too as were planners.... but as someone said above didn't want to be told by someone we didn't know in a clinical fashion.

So we made a celebration of it. We got the ultrasound tech to write bubs sex on a card & not tell us in the room or show us on the screen. We then went to where we got married, ordered lunch & opened the card. It was beautiful & we spent our lunch talking & dreaming about our little Poppet. Then later that night we had a big family dinner & revealed it to everyone. We didn't want to cold call everyone and say boy or girl as we wanted the anticipation and excitement to still be there. All the family said it was like being a little kid at Christmas waking up on the day of our ultrasound.


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We havent found out. i never planned to. personally the only reason i can see me maybe finding out is to help a little sibling understand better. so if it that means i only get 1 'surprise' im enjoying it (even tho it is driving me insane!!) but not to know colours etc... Because i want to know who it is (because we have names sorted) so i would like to know what initials to use. but enjoying not knowing so much more!

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I wasn't phased with DD as i knew she was a girl. Then my 20 week scan came along and people were telling me i was having a boy as i carried all out the front so when the lady asked me if i wanted to know i said YES! she didnt even have to tell me i could see for myself.

A friend of mine said that people wont be excited if we find out when the baby is born, she says they will see it as "woo they had the baby, what else is new" which i think is wrong i know our familes are very excited about new babies, we have all found out what we were having except for one SIL who couldn't the baby wasnt willing to show and we all were over the moon when we had babies.

I've found out every time, DH only this time.

DD1 - cos I'm a control freak too, hate surprises and needed to know
DD2 - was nowhere near ready to be pregnant again and so I was very depressed about it. Needed something to try and start me bonding with my baby
DD3 - we were overseas when I thought I was having a miscarriage. Ended up in hospital and just needed to know.

My mum has also known each time (with DH's consent) because I needed to tell someone. Nobody else ever knew - no way I would tell anyone except mum before my DH found out.

With DD, I just wanted to know. To plan etc. With this baby I needed to know to prepare myself if it wasn't a girl. Which he definately is not. It hasn't helped me bond or anything it's more mentally preparing myself.

We didnt find out, wanted the suprise. But I am so glad we didnt find out because at the 30 weeks scan the sonographer announced the baby had a head full of hair, it took away some of the guessing we had been playing and I was feeling a bit sad that I knew THAT so you can imagine what i would have felt knowing what 'it' was! I completely understand the needing to know though, especially if you like to do the colour thing with a boy or girl, there are very limited clothes that are gender neutral ;)

We found out mainly because we were so excited. I was glad we did thought because we both thought it was a boy and everyone was saying I was carrying like it was a boy, and I wanted a boy. But she is a girl. As horrible as it sounds I felt disappointed but now because I know I have come to terms and I am looking forward to meeting her :)

We didn't find out with DD. It was my first and I wanted that surprise. I didn't feel the need to have a gender specific nursery and for us that was the only real reason DH could come up with to finding out. Funny I didn't even have a slight urge to find out....even after I had her I forgot to ask what sex she was for a few minutes.....

This time around DH found out but again I haven't. I don't know his reasons for wanting to know but he did. I still didn't so I told him he had to decide if he could keep it a secret from everyone then he could. For me I just don't want to know. I want the surprise of finding out once I have him/her.

The only problem I have is that I don't want DH to know the name before me so we still haven't worked out that!

DH and I have already made the decision not to find out. Our reason is that IVF is so invasive and there is no surprise in anything so we want something to be unknown and exciting for both of us :)

We found out with DS, and this time round too. My reasoning is that I'm such an impatient person I just couldn't wait, and DH, well I don't know what his initial reasoning was but I know that he loved knowing as he felt it helped him bond. We didn't tell anyone with DS, we told everyone we didn't know the sex. This time we've told a few people but for the majority it will still be a surprise at the end. Although I have no comparison, I certainly didn't feel like I was missing out at the birth because I already knew DS was a boy, we were really excited to finally meet our little boy who felt like a long friend.

Just because YOU find out, doesn't mean you have to tell everyone!

Hope you come to a decision you're happy with :)

I like the idea of involving Professor, making that his job after the birth. Until I read this thread I always thought I'd find out, but nope, I wanna get him to tell me. I'll be the one telling him we're having one, so it's only fair that he tell me what it is :)

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I like the idea of involving Professor, making that his job after the birth. Until I read this thread I always thought I'd find out, but nope, I wanna get him to tell me. I'll be the one telling him we're having one, so it's only fair that he tell me what it is :)

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Thats what we did! It was in my birth plan that DH was to tell me.....he forgot :lol: but when he finally remembered he did share the news ;)

I didn't find out with the twins or J.ett.. I loved the surprise.. Especially when you think you know but there's still that chance you're wrong.. (I wasn't by the way ;) ) It was so amazing when J.ett was between my legs after birth and I moved his little foot out of the way to reveal :) Oh I'm emotional just thinking about it! It's also nice to make the calls and say I've had a baby boy.. I got to do that with Jett..

With the twins their dad was supposed to tell me but it didn't pan out that way, it didn't matter though, it was still exciting!

Everyone was surprised with my births though because they were so early!

Found out with DS cause we just wanted to know :p

Found out with DD cause we had so much of DS clothes, and wanted to see if we'd need to keep them or sort them out and get rid of the ones we ' couldn't use for a girl' according to DH

If we have anymore I'll be sticking to my guns this time and won't be finding out. I did want at least one surprise, but caved each time! :p


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