As A Parent, What I'm Really Saying When I Say .........................

Do not touch the powercord on the vac = keep pulling on the powercord until mums head spins around 3 times and explodes

Wait until i've finished the lounge and i will get you something to eat = go and help yourself to the cupboard then come and complain your hungry while crying 2min later.

Stop putting water in Barbies toilet as it's wrecking the cardboard backing on the barbie house = fill the toilet as many times as possible and tip the water on the cardboard to empty it

No more banana's, i'm cooking dinner = climb up onto the table and sneak 1 each then not eat your dinner in 30min

Oh i know there are PLENTY more but just for fun what do you say that your children / partner clearly hear differently.

"Please don't climb on me" translates to "climb all over me, jamming your elbows and knees into my stomach and face"

"don't crawl off the bed" translates to "please crawl onto your father's bedside table and sit on the edge"

And "stay still, I need to change your nappy" means "sit up as soon as your nappy's off, then scream when I lay you back down"

This only just happened so very easy to think of.

Please don't tip all the pencils/crayons out everywhere, you can only use one at a time anyway = Tip the pencils/crayons out and spread them around everywhere so that you can see them all easily.

Oh and

Gentle, Gentle = WHACK as hard as you can.

Make sure you eat your lunch at school= Make sure not to eat your lunch at school and wait untill you see me cooking dinner to pull it out and try and eat it all so you dont eat dinner

Go and put your clothes away there folded on your bed= Go and shove your clothes into your draws....just shove em right in so they unfolded and messy

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Make sure you eat your lunch at school= Make sure not to eat your lunch at school and wait untill you see me cooking dinner to pull it out and try and eat it all so you dont eat dinner

Go and put your clothes away there folded on your bed= Go and shove your clothes into your draws....just shove em right in so they unfolded and messy

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Wow your kids hear exactly the same as mine! Maybe we really are wrong??

Leave your sister alone = Go poke yr sister until she cries!!!!!

Please dont hit your sister - clearly translates to tease her and annoy her mercilessly until she screams the house down and makes my ears shrivel

Have you got any home work? - just say no cause I might not call your bluff this time

Stay off the net on the trampoline - we have heaps of money and have already replaced one so we can do it again

If you dont eat your dinner there is nothing else - ............until I cry and moan and beg and plead to break her down at the end of a long day

You need a nap young man, time for sleep - clearly means look as cute and adorable as possible with a huge smile so Mummy will keep playing with me and not put me in the cot

Owww, don't bite! - means grin cheekily and bite down on mum's nipple as hard as I can

Be quiet = talk louder and scream while ur sister is sleeping

Please don't hit the kitten Please chase him around, pulling his tail and sticking your fingers in his eyes and ears.

Can you please be gentle with mummy Please jump on me, digging every boney limb you can into my belly then please stick your fingers up my nose and pull my glasses off my face

Mummy is just going to the toilet, i'll be back in just a minute, k? I am really packing my bags and moving to China so please cry and scream hysterically

Shhh, mummy is on the phone Start screaming

Leave your 18 month old brother alone- push & pull grab him until he screams.

Don't come in the kitchen I'm cooking- please come in & touch the hot stove.

Dinnertime!- time to go the toilet.
Bathtime- time to go the toilet
Bedtime- time to go the toilet.

Chris
DS1
DD
DS2
#4 due Sep

It doesn't matter what I say, what she thinks I am saying is... "Okay, sure, but what you don't realise is I am nine so I know everything. So thank you for your direction and advice but actually, I'm going to do it my way, in my own time because, while I love you, really I know everything there is to know so you are pretty annoying..."

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It doesn't matter what I say, what she thinks I am saying is... "Okay, sure, but what you don't realise is I am nine so I know everything. So thank you for your direction and advice but actually, I'm going to do it my way, in my own time because, while I love you, really I know everything there is to know so you are pretty annoying..."

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Oh yes, a thousand times yes! Complete with obligatory eye-roll...

Oops...Yes!! How could I forget the eye-roll!!! :lol:

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It doesn't matter what I say, what she thinks I am saying is... "Okay, sure, but what you don't realise is I am nine so I know everything. So thank you for your direction and advice but actually, I'm going to do it my way, in my own time because, while I love you, really I know everything there is to know so you are pretty annoying..."

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Yes, that's 110% true here too.

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It doesn't matter what I say, what she thinks I am saying is... "Okay, sure, but what you don't realise is I am nine so I know everything. So thank you for your direction and advice but actually, I'm going to do it my way, in my own time because, while I love you, really I know everything there is to know so you are pretty annoying..."

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Omg!!!! Do you have mine in your house!!!! Seriously!!!!


Thank god it's not just me!!!! (never sure being step mum and all!!)

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Oops...Yes!! How could I forget the eye-roll!!! :lol:

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Does yours do it with hand on hip too?

It's time for your bath now = please run around screaming at the top of your voices for another ten minutes.

No, you can't live on a farm and buy a pony = please throw a massive tantrum because your unreasonable demands can't be met.

No we can't get a pet pterodactyl = please throw a massive tantrum because the dinosaurs are extinct.

You have to apologise to your brother = please scream sorry at the top of your voice and storm off.