Opening presents - During or after the party?

I've had this argument with family/friends before, so let's solve it once and for all. When do you (or more specifically, your children) open birthday (/baby shower/bridal shower/whatever) presents if there's a party involved? Do you do it at a set time during the party in front of everyone? Do you do it as guests arrive and hand the presents over? Or do you leave them all wrapped and open them away from guests after the party?

Personally, I'm a fan of opening them as they arrive. Opening them at a set time, like I did at my bridal and baby showers, makes me feel so exposed and fake. If I'm a guest at a party, I want to see the present opened somewhere in there, otherwise it feels weird and a little rude of the recipient. But​ that's how we opened our wedding presents and I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

How about you? Why do you do it that way? Is it different if you're a guest rather than the recipient/parent of the recipient? Does it depend on the type of party being held?

As they are given to you.

I think it's rude to wait (just my personal opinion). Part of the joy of giving a present is seeing the person's joy (or otherwise!) in opening and seeing it.

After. It's boring for guests to have to sit around and oooh and ahh about the gifts and at a children's party there's just too much potential for dramas.

Depend on the party.
Eg my daughter third party was small, so opened as arrived.
Baby shower - at set time, as people seem to want to all look at what you got.
Engagement /wedding/21st type- after guests have left.

As people arrive or if the kids aren't interested we just put them on a table until after.
I like that people get to see the girls reactions to their presents but we don't make everyone sit around & watch!


Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

Adult party - I would think when they are given.

With my DS we generally wait until afterwards. Only because at that age he is just as likely to open it, and either say "I don't like that" or cast it aside. It's not that he's an ungrateful kid but when they're really young they don't quite understand that they could be hurting someone's feelings. Also, with kids parties they tend to be so chaotic there simply isn't time.

Definitely open them at the party, whether it's adult or child. I like opening them all at once so everyone can see, but I wouldn't force everyone to sit there and watch me do it, lol! I felt incredibly miffed recently when the present I bought for someone wasn't opened at the party - I love watching the recipient open their present and feel it shows their gratitude too.

If it's a huge party with lots of pressies (e.g. a wedding), it could be done later. But then, I'd also expect to send out thank you notes if that was the case.

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Depend on the party.
Eg my daughter third party was small, so opened as arrived.
Baby shower - at set time, as people seem to want to all look at what you got.
Engagement /wedding/21st type- after guests have left.

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Pretty much exactly the same :)

Problem we had with opening DD's at her party is that my niece wanted to play with them all, which is ok except that some of them my DD was quite attached to and didn't want to share and niece kept chasing her round saying "Share! It's not nice to keep it all to yourself!" and I was there going "Niece, leave her be! They are her special presents!" :rolleyes:

I like to open birthday presents as they are given then they get put away out of the other kids reach.

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Depend on the party.
Eg my daughter third party was small, so opened as arrived.
Baby shower - at set time, as people seem to want to all look at what you got.
Engagement /wedding/21st type- after guests have left.

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Yep, ditto, although I do prefer to open as they arrive. With my engagement party there were just far too many people all arriving at the same time to open as I went, so the plan was to open them after. But then my mum dragged me inside half way through the part and said "so and so wants to see you open their gift", word got out that we were doing presents, and I had to open all of them with everyone crowded into our lounge room watching. Embarrassing!

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We usually put them on a table and unwrap them near the end of the party. That way the kids can thank the giver as they do it. The kids are usually pretty keen to see the present they brought unwrapped too. But we usually only have smallish parties at home, this might not work with a bigger group.

I think its the height of rudeness to open them infront of other children. Causes way to many problems. We open our presents at a party after everyone has gone home.

Can I ask why you think that Freya??

(not having a go! Just curious :) )

I waited till we got home. It started to rain and J was getting Ferral so there was no point plus he still didn't get it

At the moment they get opened as they get given. The guests arrive over about a 20 minute period, so it spreads it out enough. Have had no real issues with other kids wanting presents etc, most of them just want to get on with playing with the other kids.

Went to a party at a play centre, the presents were not opened, just bundled up and put in the car. I had not sticky taped the card to the present (did not think there was a need), so they probably thought we had not given one. Felt mildly offended at the time.

Always when i/we recieve them.

If people are bored by opening of presents they shouldn;t have come, simple as that.

At our wedding it was the next day, we went back to reception centre to pick up they clear room and put away safe for couple.

AT DS1 3rd birthday it was after as it was only a few hours, so many kids arrived at same time, was busy crazy and chaotic and stopped bits being lost, things being broken or massive fights over things.
All the other kids partys we have been to have been the same open when get home.

If only a few people dropping over to house open when given

we open them at the same time but it does cause issues between siblings now so i think after the party from now on