BD after miscarriage.... Kind of a woo hoo..... just wondering what its like for you?

So....... this is probably WAY more information than any of you want to hear... but..... since the miscarriage (and before first AF) BD has felt different.....

I couldn't really put my finger on it.... thought it might have just been 'dry', but it also just felt different down there, although I knew that physically nothing was different..... I didn't say anything to DH, cause, well.... I was a bit embarrassed/weirded out about it all... and I wasn't sure if it was psychological ie... I felt emotionally different, so maybe it was all going to change.... I wondered whether it was hormonal... maybe I was someone who'd not feel up to sex during pregnancy.... (and I probably should add that my sex drive is probably higher than DH :redface: )

anyway..... so since AF arrived..... it's felt good and back to normal.... only DTD a couple of times... but as DH got home today after a long weekend.... I was pleased to find that things felt really NORMAL today :) yay yay yay.....

and a big phew... cause it worried me a bit.... it would suck if this whole crappy process stuffed up that particularly important part of our relationship.....

so.... I wondered..... did anyone else feel that way? Has it been 'different' for you....? I guess I'm thinking it's probably normal, but I am curious... and perhaps hoping I will feel more connected if I know others have felt this way too....

Yes, I did.

I think now, nearly 4 years on, it came down to a combination of things. Those being the utter physical & emotional grief you feel about what couldn't be, the hormonal disruption that occurs after a miscarriage/DC, and just trying to inseminate rather than impregnate afterwards.

xx

Yep it was definitely different for me following the mc so you are not alone. For me I think a lot of it was emotional with a touch of left over hormones as it took a while for my hgc to go back to zero. I just felt yuk down there following the mc and it wasn't the physical pain that was over pretty quickly it was more I felt my body had let me down and I have to admit the actual process of having a natural mc traumatized me a bit. It lasted about 2 months for me but I am now 100% back to normal and enjoying dtd again.

I don't remember it feeling different physically but it was an emotional hurdle for me. I just couldn't believe we were right back where we started and I resented baby-making sex. And yet I was so desperate to conceive that any sex was baby making sex in my head, I couldn't avoid or think of anything else. I don't think I was ready to be intimate emotionally but I knew that it was the only way to get pregnant so i carried on regardless. As the weeks went on though it felt less frantic and more normal and lovely.

I cant comment on the after D&C/miscarriage question but I can say that I feel very different bd'ing during pregnancy. It feels really uncomfortable and full and to be honest we have only done it a few times because it weirds me out haha.

Don't want baby to get poked in the face amy???



hmmmm..... so when did it (if ever) go back to normal??? for me it was almost like AF was a line in the sand, and everything has felt normal since then... which could be emotional too, as I was kinda waiting for her as it signaled the end of the miscarriage..... I think sunny you are right, it's a combination of everything isn't it....

nice to know I am not crazy and imaging it, and that others have felt the same way....

I can't really pin point it. It was just when DTD stopped reminding me of our loss.

Mine too was the return of my AF, it represented that my body was finally emotionally 'healed' enough and ready again.