Physical jobs and Pregnancy

Hi everyone,
I am only just pregnant, but my dh and I were discussing when I would go on mat. leave and then go back to work after the baby was born.
Our situation is: I am a full time teacher in a long day care centre and this is a very physically and emotionally draining job. I earn an ok wage, not alot but probably a bit more than average. I am also studying to complete my early childhood teachers degree which adds to the stress. My studies are due to be finished at the end of this year. Dh is a part time barman atm, but is studing to be a cop. He will be finishing work in about 6 weeks to go to Goulburn to complete his studies and will be there for 3 months. He will begin fulltime work at the begining of next year, he will be earning pretty good money at this time, so that won't be an issue.
The issue is that I am really stressed out as it is due to two m/c from earlier pg, my studies this semester are really full on and I am thinking of defferring until next year as it is. Dh will not be around most of the time for the next three months due to studying in Goulburn, he'll only be home on (most) weekends,which adds to the stress. My job is great and I love it so I don't need to leave due to that, but I think I need a break. When Dh is a cop next year, I wanted to drop my hours, maybe to three to four days a week (probably 4 days) rather than 40 hr+ weeks.
Dh expected me to work until 36-37wks, where I want to go no longer than 32-34 wks. I will get 9wks paid leave, as well as 4wks holiday leave and besides that, money won't be a problem, although it will be pretty tight. I really don't think I could go until 34 wks!! I will be barely able to get into a chair, let alone sit on the floor to play! So I think 36-37 wks is not possible. I also said I wanted to stay home for the full yr then go back at the most, only two days for a year or so. He wants me to go back 3 days by the time the baby is 6mths old! Just for the extra money to be able to play with. I couldn't put a child of that age into childcare, especially since I would be going to care for other people's children anyway. Am I being unreasonable? He's worked parttime for three years. I have worked and studied for the better part of 9 yrs. When is it my turn to relax? Not that being an at home mum is resting!! P.S.(Sorry for the HUGE post!!)
Any opinions are very welcome!

Thanks, Kellie.

Hi Kellie,

I think its wise to take one step at a time, and if you want to defer than thats okay too. There is alot of stress & physical tiredness when you are pregnant & when you have a physical job it doesn't make life easier.

I am a vet nurse and both pregnancies have had to cut down jobs early on in pregnancy and am unable to work later into the pregnancies. As it is I can't spend 8 hours on my feet anymore. I am 30 weeks now and just can't do it. So I don't think it is unreasonable to understand that a time will come where you won't be able to continue in your work. My job has been able to offer part time work which is administrative so I can keep some hours going and not be on my feet or lifting or scrubbing. Legally with the awards, they can't discriminate against you being pregnant and if you are not able to do something physically they are supposed to come up with alternatives for you. Having said that, there isn't much I can do once I finish the work I have. So its compromising with the situation as well.

If you know the decisions you want to make for your child, you & DH need to come to a compromise as well for when its time to go back to work. DH & I did research and looked heaps of stuff up and made a decision as to when & for how long Matilda would be in care. We decided 1 day a week until she was 3, but that turned into 2 days when she was ready for it & we were happy with the care she was in. But that has to be an individual decision based on your family.

Goodluck!

I agree with Christy, take one step at a time.
As it will be your first full term/successful pregnancy, who knows what your last few weeks will be like? You might swell up like a real melon belly momma (I love your ticker!) at 30 weeks....you never know.
I don't think you're being unreasonable wanting to take a break earlier, and go back to work later. It's easy to make assumptions now when all is well, but I'm sure a lot of your DH's opinions will change as time goes on and parenthood hits!
Putting an infant into childcare at 6 months just so you have some play money isn't a half decent reason (in my humble opinion!) either.......but obviously it's up to your and your DH.
Sounds like your DH thinks you're a bit of a wonder woman (with your full time working and studying) and if he's the part time worker, I hope he's serving you like a husband should and cooking/cleaning etc.!!
It's a good thing you're both discussing your options so early on....very sensible!
Hope you have a most fantastic, healthy pregnancy!

Hi Kellie,

Congrats on your pg! I think the other girls are right, you need to take it one step at a time.

In my situation, I am a dental nurse, and I am constantly running around in my job. I love it, but it is hectic to say the least. My dh and I decided when I was pg that I would finish at 32 weeks. Besides all the running around, if I got a big pg belly it's pretty much impossible to sit chairside, so I thought that would be a good time to finish. My dh wanted me to finish earlier, but I figured 32 weeks was fine.

Since our loss, I have been re-thinking the work thing. There is a job coming up in my work place that would be about 28-30 hours a week, opposed to the 40-44 I work at the moment. I think I will take that job, my dh is certainly very keen for me to do so! I know a lot of pg women work long hours wil no ill-effects, but I want to give my body every chance of a healthy pg next time.

I know that none of that will pobably help you, but I wanted to say that you need to do what is right for you. You know best what your job entails, so you need to make that decision. Of course your dh needs to be in on that, but he needs to be understanding of your needs too.

As for the childcare thing, I don't have any kids yet (obviously!) but everyone asks me whether I'll go back to work when we do. I say that I'm going to wait and see. Having kids must be such a life-changing thing, I don't think you could make a decision about something like going back to work before the bub even arrives! That's just my opinion though! I do plan on working part-time, I just don't know when yet!

Good luck with everything, I hope you can sort it all out with your dh. I'm sure he'll come around :)

I honestly don't know whats going to happen with me.
I am a full time Baker, and I would hate to think what I am going to be like after the birth and going back part time.

I guess i know that Iam jumping the gun a little atm, but i do want to be prepared for when bubs comes and I do anticipate a fair bit of discomfort once I start to get bigger. Another thing that impacts on me with being a childcare worker, is that I see children in childcare at a young age alot, and although i really understand the need for money and stability, sometimes babies under one are truely better off in one on one care, which in a childcare setting just doesn't happen. I also think that I just deserve a break, besides being pg and eventually having a baby. I don't think my dh understands how tired i am not from being pg but from working and studying for sooooo long. My mind and body just needs to do it's own thing for a while!!
Thanks for all of your replies.

Kellie.