In need of some support - please...

Hi all,

This is my first time on the forum. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 18 months. I am currently on Clomid 50g this month and should have a result next week whether I'm pregnant or not.. But its like I'm over worrying about it... Some days just for no reason, I will brake down and cry :crying: and its been happening a lot lately. My husband is great but men don't understand - even though he is going through it with me - it is so different. Meanwhile everybody around me is pregnant or just had a baby and it is so upsetting. Even though I'm happy for the people around me falling pregnant and so forth..., It makes me so angry and I feel very selfish from feeling like that. Is anybody feeling the same way? Some support would be great

Lisa:(

You have come to the right place for support sweety. Its very normal to feel quite emotional and stressed, especially when there are all those pg bellies and newborns around you. Your feelings of anger are perfectly normal. We all have them when we long for a child. Ive been trying (ttc) since July last year, with one angel baby in Dec and now another 7 months of ttc, it can take its toll on you. But we are all here to help you through and we all know too well the road you are travelling.

Take time to be kind to yourself and believe in yourself , someone told me once to trust my body and it will do what its suppose to. Im praying that soon enough you will be holding a little bundle of your very own.

In the meantime feel free to vent, cry etc etc all you like, the gals on this forum are very kind and supportive. If you dont mind me asking, have you been to seek some advice as to what might be happeneing to prevent you from falling pg?

Big hugs to you
Lisa

OMG!! lisa - we are in excatly the same postion althoughi haven't been trying for as long as you. i started clomid this month :crying:

so many people are i know are falling or giving birth- it's very hard and i've spent most of the day crying.

Sweetie :hugs: I just know how feel.

when i read your post i could've written it!!

It means so much to hear some words of encourange - thanks..

I had a HSG to see if my tubes were clear and they were - that was in January of this year. My husband has had his test done and everything was OK. I've had the blood tests, the ultrasounds etc, but nothing, as far as they can see is wrong with me.. which sometimes can make it harder if that makes sense. So now I'm trying the clomid and seeing my fertility docter. This is my 2nd month on Clomid.

How have you coped with the wanting and worst of all, the waiting? People have said to stay positive, but I found that, that was worse for me. After so many months, I found it easier to not be negative, but not expect a miracle.

With any luck and fingers and toes crossed, we will both get those two red lines soon!!!


A big hug to you back
Lisa

OMG.. That is weird. Its comforting to know that you are not feeling these things out of spite, but they are normal feelings.

A big hug to you and no more tears. Baby wishes to you. Let me know how you go with your clomid. All the best of luck.

Lisa

yeah- i agree. I have PCOS adn my tubes and stuff are clear. stay postive , it will happen blah blah- i've having a bad day today though. i jsut wnt to why as well. we are happily married and just waiting.

It's a horrible time but i know it will soon pass.

I hope this is the month for both of us :bfp:

Lisa - I think unexplained fertility can be worse to deal with! Keeping positive is a hard task and it gets tiring doing it month after month after month. On the bright side, Ive heard of many clomid success stories, and I hope yours has a happy ending too.

The wanting and waiting is so terrible, I try to keep it out of my mind as much as I can, and Ive started reading again to help keep my mind occupied. My cousin has a gorgeous little one year old whom I adore and he gives me lots of love and hope, but I do try and stay away from newborns as much as I can.

Me and dh are all ok too, currently seeing a naturopath to help boost our chances. I hope you, me, Princess and all the other loves are blessed soon.


Lisa

Thanks girlies,

You have no idea how much you have lifted my spirits. I was a wreck this morning and am feeling a lot better - Thanks again.

xoxoxox
Lisa:) :hug:

Im glad your feeling a bit better Lis. Take care and pls feel free to come on here whenever you need some ttc lovin :)

I know exaclty how you feel, after 7yrs of TTC! Your feelings are normal, so dont feel bad about having them. The guys definately show emotions differently, and cope differently. I think that we are more sensitive to infertility issues, because Its our bodies that are built to carry babies, and we crave it more.
I got thru the TTC stage by just never giving up hope and that some day it will be my turn to fulfil my dream of having a baby!
I wish you all the best hun with making your dream come true xxx

I take my hat off to you.... I'm not even at 2 years and struggling every day. I hope your turn will be very soon. All the best of luck to you and your husband and thanks for your kind words - it really helps.


:hug:

Hi LisaC. Firstly I want to pop over there and give you a great big hug. I have only been trying for 6 months and I am frustrated so I can't imagine after two years how down you must be. But there is heaps of support here so come and vent all you like. It is hard when people say the wrong things to you about TTC. I know they are only trying to do the right thing but sometimes it doesn't help. People say to me just don't try and maybe it will happen but that is a little hard 1) when you have PCOS and 2)when all you want in your life is a baby. Hang in there precious I will keep my fingers crossed for you that your Clomid has worked this month and there is a little bub growing for you now.

I was exactly the same on my first round of clomid (50mg), i think its many different reasons 1. Your body has taken a big hit from this drug and yes i think it does make you depressed 2. the thought that thos could very well be possible but knowing from past experience that it may not be and 3. When the man doesnt understand it hurts even more, i remember on my first cycle (i am on my second now - and its so much better for me, havent cried once) i was crying every day i was so depressed that i was doubting my whole life, once i got my BFN i was better (believe it or not) because i knew for sure, the thing with clomid is you never know what your gonna get, i got very painful periods after my first cycle but this month feels heaps better and they even doubled my intake - so its probably because its all new to you also. cheer up and just remember it isnt the end of the world and theres always hope.

Lisa it is a very hard road for sure. As the other ladies have said, Clomid can make you a bit depressed and that doesn't help when you already feel down. Maybe it is reassuring in a way that you know there is some chemical reason for your mood. Maybe not. I know I didn't take Clomid and I certainly had bad days just as you described. It's just a bad situation and very hard to deal with because it's a very invisible grief.

The only thing that really helps is to find people who know what you're going through and don't keep offering platitudes like "Cheer up, you can always adopt" and other equally unhelpful advice. The girls here are great because they know how it is and any encouragement they give you comes right from the heart. I hope your stay here at BB is a pleasant one and that you find a lot of comfort with like-minded souls. Best of luck with your journey.

Thanks guys. I never even thought about the depression part being a side effect from the clomid. That explains alot..

Just checking..... before I get my period, my breasts become really swollen and sore about 3-4 days before expected period. I have read that swollen breasts can be a symptom of pregnancy as well. But never having been pregnant.. how early during the pregnancy can it happen? - if anybody knows. I've woken up with sore breasts and to us this is a sure sign that my period is on its way :( - but it is a little earlier than normal - but I'm thinking the clomid could play a part as well - OMG!! - somebody stop me thinking!! Any thoughts...

hi to all the lovely ladies who are repliers and writers!

i just wanted to post and say how supported i feel knowing all of you are around. LisaC, it is really hard to keep a lid on your emotions so if you need to cry- then cry. Its OK.
I have Endo and have now had two laps to treat it, have been TTC since jan 05.
I am recovering from a lap and TTC naturally for two more months and then we are back at FS IVF and we are beginning clomid. I have some trepidation about it but we'll see what happens.

I am writing to offer my understanding and empathy around TTC. Its hurts so much when I see how some women can easily conceive like its almost flippant act on their part.

I am so lucky to have good friends in my life, some have babies and some dont. But i can see them try and understand and stretch themselves to be able to see my frustrations. The reason why this forum, (even if i am not posting and i am just reading) works so well for me is because it takes away the isolation that i feel. I feel so exposed and vulnrable after i have told people in my life more of the minutae of my TTC adventure. Do u know what I mean?

Sometimes i find myself feeling like i am a failure because i havent been able to conceive- YET.I feel so much better since i have found BB because it makes me realise I am not alone. At BB I am able to be on the giving end of support and empathy to other women and we can all give some space to each other and a helping "chat". i am the youngest froma big family and i am 33, so everyine else is older and already had babies. Its kinda old hat to them.

So best to you and Xfingers crossed
sigh and hoping for a little fertilisation in my life and to you ladies too!!

just wanted to let you know you are defo not alone on this ttc emotional rollercoaster.

we all feel like you do at some stage.

clomid doesn't halp matters either, the mood swings the enhanced pmt etc etc

also wanted to wish you luck and hope to see you post a :bfp: soon.

love
scouse
x

Ladies dont be too hard on yourselves. This rollercoaster is called that because it is one! But there tends to be a lot more of the downs then the ups, Ive found over the years... the frustrating part is we have no choice but to just keep going on with life and it often seems everyone else's lives are going along the path we want ours to..... parenthood. And of course, those friends cant possibly understand what you are going through. So we gather here at BB to find comfort with those who do understand.

As if the naturally emotive part of the process isnt enough we then are often using fertility drugs (eg. Clomid), and in IVF other stimulating drugs which send our hormones soaring! I found on Clomid I was an angry cow, with IVF I have been a blubbering mess!

We have all got to get outta here and Im sending 49 billion tonnes of babydust to each of us in an attempt to boost our chances..... :bluedust: :bluedust:

:goodluck: to us all...