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When was the last time you bought a nice little toy for your child? Recently I got a toy for my kid as a little surprise and he got really happy. As parents, I feel that its important to show our love and affection not just by words but also through small gestures. I am not a materialistic person but its also important to give your child something that he can relate to. I am talking about this as someone from my family thought that I was spoiling my kid.
Give me your take on this.......
I do like to buy things for my boys as a reward or sometimes just because.
It is hard though because due to an over enthusiastic Grandma they do not really appreciate it when they get something because it happens a bit too often from her end.
I tend to buy a small token gift for Josh if i am out shopping and i see that he likes something. Being an early childhood teacher i try to buy education things such as books, flashcards or puppets or maybe a bright coloured toy that Josh liked. If we have the opportunity to give to our kids things why hold back?especially if it gives them are start in life. At the end of the day it is how you teach them to look after thier toys and accept them isnt it?
I don't very often at all. I saw what happened with my cousins and my godfather's children that were given things all the time. Birthdays & Christmas' aren't as special to them as they had everything they wanted when they asked for it.
If Zander is going to get a "present" out of the blue I'll let him take some money from his money box & spend that. He loves to put his coins in his pocket & pay the lady at the shop. Depending on what it is, I'll add to his money but it's never anything more than about $15. Just last week he found 60c on my dresser & asked to spend it, so we went to the shops & he picked out some playdoh & cutters that were $5 so he spent his money on that.
Its interesting.........different stokes for different folks......
There is a book I have recommended before by Gary Chapman called "The Five Love Languages" which indicates that everyone (adults and children) all have a main method of feeling loved........and one of them is through "recieving gifts".
Often, people who feel loved if they are given gifts are natural "gift givers" and automatically give gifts to show how much they love someone else.
Conversely, a person whose "love tank" is filled by another trait (acts of kindness, physical affection, words of affirmation, quality time) will simply not realise that gift giving is important for others..........
I am at fault in this area. I personally am not bothered ever by gifts at all. Recieving gifts from people does not make me feel loved. As such, I tend to never ever buy the children pressies, and even at Christmas and birthdays I tend to see the whole gift thing as a chore...............(bad Mummy!!)
So I MUST make sure I watch the children in future, to really see how they respond to gifts.........it may be that recieving gifts is "their thing", and I am totally ignoring it!!
The book is GREAT........I swear by it.......it is a bit "American" IYKWIM, but it makes relationships so clear to understand.......try and get hold of it if you can!
.......things like that are considered "gifts" too.........so it needn't be materialistic at all.......sounds to me like it might be your "thing"..........:
Id rather him get Charli to draw me something or suprise me with a new song she can sing
I was just re reading that book last night and thought of it as I started to read the thread... then I got to Lucy's post - .
It is an excellent book btw.Best $12.95 I ever spent - but I am no angel and I am rereading again:p
I have the love languages book too and often recommend it to others. It's very enlightening.
I don't buy Nod things very often ... unless it's the odd book. But with toys I want him to appreciate what he's got so it will be Christmas and birthdays only. He's only little so it doesn't matter anyway. I would be buying him things more for myself than him if you know what I mean.
When he's older and earning pocket money, he can use or save his pocket money to get something he wants. I figure that will help him in more ways than one.
Sounds like a great book Lucy. will have to look for it.
Blake doesn't get many purchased gifts although I did buy him a new book on Saturday and he just LOVED it. He has always been so into books which is great. We've read it every day.
Vivienne I'm sure is too spoilt, even though she also doesn't get too many things bought for her. I like to pull things out unexpectedly. I bought her a Tamagotchi version 4 today but I've put it away for the right time to share it with her. No idea when that will be, but it's here when I need it.