Getting Anxious

Hello,

Well I have been fighting this (Anxiety) off for sometime but tonight after finding colostrum coming from my nipples the reality freaked me out more at just how close it was getting.

I have had a miscarriage and maybe it was self preservation but I have found myself through out this pregnancy not actually believing there will be a baby at the end.

And the odd's of survival are getting better and better as each week steams past.

I am anxious about coping, labour, pain and basically anything else I can manage to freak myself out about.

I am sure it's normal but I still feel alone with it.

any advice?

All i can suggest is you talk about it as much as possible and research as much as u can. HTH... we are all here for you :)

Hey Delicate Dove,
I have not been through an MC, so I can't give any advice on this, however I have stressed so much during this pregnancy that I can only imagine the additional stress stemming from the realisation of how very fragile a baby can be. I mean, we all know we could lose the bub, but to actually experience such a loss could only add to the anxiety normally felt by a pregnant woman.

I think you need to recognise the feelings of anxiety, and employ a couple of methods to help you get out of the doldrums. I see you are 25 weeks now, not long to go! Most birth stories are extremely positive, even the more difficult ones. Women have been doing this for time immemorable and you are no different to the billions of women that have given birth before you. Your body is built to have a baby, and medical science takes care of the rest.

Allow some positive thoughts now and again - realistically there is little we can actually control anyway, we must rely on our bodies to do the hard work. Let your body do what it is meant to do and allow yourself some time to stress, but also time to focus on the good things - the nursery, the baby, how you will feel when the baby is finally in your arms, names, christenings (if you are having one), and all the other wonderful things that you dream of. The rest you can deal with if and when it happens.

Good luck, and know that you are not alone with the anxiety - it is definitely not a "sign" that things wont work out, it is merely a sign of how much you want this baby.

Of course it's totally normal to feel anxious, even if you haven't experienced something as awful as a m/c.

All i can say is believe and trust in your body and your own abilities. You will realise how strong you can be, and how rewarding life is. Think about the birth and your relationship with your child now - read up on things like labour options, breastfeeding (biggie if you plan to b/f - i'd advise contacting ABA now to learn about it), nappy otpions, parenting styles etc, and allow yourself to get excited about being a mum. Nothing you learn/read now will truely prepare you for motherhood, but I do think it will start some thought processes, and probably help you bond with your child.

I was really nervous last time around. I didn't know if i could handle the pain (i hate pain!), but was also really determined to have a natural birth. It worked out well for me in the end. i had the perfect birthing experience, and this time around i just can't wait to give birth. It was the most amazing experience of my life. You'll hear horror stories, but focus on what you want, and understand that most births are truely wonderful experiences.

We are all here for you to talk through all of these things you will be thinking about. Use all these wonderful women as a resource. You CAN do it. :)

Funny you say that, I'm feeling the same way this week! I think for the first time I'm actually allowing myself to think that there might be a baby at the end of this and now when I think about labour in particular (I already have a DD), I am becoming very anxious. I think it's still that fear that something will go wrong.

And then again, thinking that there might be a baby brings up all those feelings about 'jinxing' myself - you know, the moment I think everything is going to be OK and I start enjoying this pregnancy and awaiting the birth of my baby, something is going to go wrong.

I think it's pretty normal. My ob actually asked me yesterday if Iwas feeling Ok, he said I'd been a bit funny the last few appts. I explained to him that I'm still worried about something going wrong and I don't really expect that to change until our bub is delivered safely. He told me he thought that was pretty rational thinking because unfortunately there are no guarantees for any of us.

So, I think what you're feeling is pretty normal. Pregnancy after a loss is always going to be different unfortunately. :hug:

thanks... I can't say I am feeling any better.. but at least I know I am not alone.

and to top it off M/S is kicking back in..... so I feel like crap anyways... LOL

Hi Dove

Can I suggest that you speak to your OB about how you're feeling? It might be that you can get a referral to a counsellor or psychiatrist to help you work through your feelings and concerns in a supportive and appropriate way. I am managing anxiety and it is not something I could do alone.

I wouldn't suggest reading up on all the things you are concerned about as there are so many opinions and contradictory advice that it ends up being very confusing (at I have found).

Thats my 2 cents for whats it worth. Hope things get better.

saffi thanks,

I have briefly spoken to her, but I think I will elaborate more as hubby even asked me if I had Postnatal depression already.. so maybe Iam more stressed than I think.

I did try reading some things but it did make me worry more, and i had a fewe nightmares. LOL

Thanks for everyones concern...

Gotta love the vivid dreams pregnancy can bring!! Yep, speak to her a bit more. It never hurts to be proactive. Sometimes having someone rationalise some of your fears with you can also help, if that makes sense? Then you can use the rationalisation to cancel out the fear when it returns: to challenge the concept until you are not plagued with it. BTW if I am under stress and having difficulty sleeping I find MS symptoms return: then you feel even worse as you feel physically awful too. You may find the physical symptoms ease a bit when you feel less weighed down by anxiety, and feel more resilient as a result. Hugs!! xxxx