Am I the Only One....

....STILL pacing the floor to get my 10 1/2 month old to sleep....the only way Rylee will go to sleep is if I walk around with her on my shoulder - if I put her in the cot she will just sit up and try and climb out...I was talking to a friend the other day and mentioned what I do to get her to go to sleep and she said "you mean she still can't put herself to sleep?" so I felt like a bit of a bad mother because my bub can't put herself to sleep. This is for all sleeps - day naps and night time - how long will I be doing this for? Will one day she figure it out for herself?

Laurin

:hug: Hugs babe, you poor thing. Some babies are good sleepers some aren't. She will learn to put herself to sleep...eventually:). Nathan is not a great sleeper, not like his Sisters but after 5 I'm a little meaner in the sleep department,particularly day time as he is older now I will make sure he's safe and all needs are met and then ignore him. But he doesn't cry, just fusses a bit. I have to have the cot rail up to the highest setting because he will climb out otherwise. At night if he wakes he comes to bed with me as he is still breastfed,There's nothing like a warm booby to put him to sleep. Maybe you need to talk to a health professional about trying some sleep techniques that may work for you. Good luck.



Edit: I just wanted to add you need to do what ever keeps you sane babe, and if rocking works then so be it.

My eldest son was like this for night time.. Day naps were easy so I couldn't understand why he wouldn't go down at night and stay down.. He didn't sleep through till he was 3 so I hope you can work it out..

With my 2nd and 3rd we simply made them go to bed.. I just didn't have the time to deal with the nonsense my eldest put us through... Its hard but sometimes you need to lay them in the cot and say NO its bed time... I hate leaving them to cry so I sit in the room with them... lights out too.. Also my eldest hated the dark.. so we never shut the door

I still struggle with my DD and she is 2. Mostly it is her personality, she just does not stop! It is hard for her to wind down, just like me. I find it difficult to fall asleep, so I see it as unfair to expect her to fall asleep on command. Your DD seems to be quite active as well. Even childcare comment on how it takes her awhile to wind down and they are experienced at getting kids into a good nap routine.

My DD is sensitive to certain food additives, so we have to be careful there, so you may want to check out your diet if you are still breastfeeding, and what she is eating. We have to be vary careful with yoghurts and icecreams, the additives in them are amazing.

If you haven't already check out books such "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley and "Sleeping like a Baby" by Pinky Mckay. They give some good tips for gentle ways to help your daughter. Also check out the Dr Sears site for other tips

Have you got some sort of night time ritual in place? You may find it helpful to start one if you do not have on already, or you may just need to tweak it. Rituals only sometimes work for us, it depends on what her diet is like at the time. HTH

DS is only just learning how to put himself to sleep - he can't quite finish it off though. I am hoping he gets the idea very soon, but he still needs walking, jigging and rocking for now. The routine helps a lot, as does the lullaby - when he's starting to go to sleep he starts humming his lullaby! I can't put him in his crib awake, he just cries, so have to get him starting to shut his eyes before I put him own, leave him until he cries, then get him fully to sleep in my arms. I'm hoping this finishes soon too!

I've mostly put my boys off to bed after a breastfeed. Most of the time they were alseep and I'd just tuck them in and off to bed I go.
If they weren't asleep I'd try putting them down awake. Some night were successful and other nights weren't and I'd cuddle and rock them off to sleep if they were upset about being in the cot.
Around about 18 months I think but I'm not sure when exactly, the older boys just started wanting to go off to bed themselves. Hopefully Caleb follows the same pattern :crossfingers:

Have you tried music for her to listen to while she settles? Sometimes when Caleb is a bit unsettled I'll try the music and after he complains a bit when I leave the room will stop and listen to it. About 5 - 10 mins later I can sneak in and turn it off because he is fast asleep.

Thanks for all your posts & help -

we do have a bedtime routine in place;

5 pm - dinner then play
6.30 pm - bath
7 pm - go into her darkened room with 'music for dreaming' cd playing - bottlefeed then lots of floor pacing (she has only recently been weaned from booby but there has been no change in her bedtime behaviour - good, bad or otherwise)

I guess we will get there one day :)
Laurin

This may sound a bit out there, but do you do the same play every night after dinner? It takes DS a good 2-3 hours before he winds down! This is our routine:

Daddy comes home.
Daddy and DS have cuddle and chat/play.
Daddy feeds fish, DS watches.
Mummy cooks dinner - sometimes DS has a cooking lesson, sometimes sits on Daddy's knee at the computer (I know, not ideal).
Family dinner time and conversation (finished away from the table with Mummy)
Naked time
Bath time
Massage dry, nightwear on, say Good Night to Daddy
Story (now with bottle feed)
Prayers (with breast feed)
Lullaby
If DS falls asleep at the breast, straight into bed. Otherwise he's lullaby'd, given a kiss and told goodnight and left. I hum quietly outside the door if he starts to get unsettled, but go in if he cries. Then it's walking up and down to the lullaby.

Ryn - it is pretty much on the floor play with her toys. I have also read all the sleep books - Pinky, Dr Sears, Anni Gethin & Beth MacGregor, Elizabeth Pantley, etc and whilst they are all very good, sometimes at 3 pm in the morning you need someone there holding your hand telling you where you are going wrong. We are currently based in Johannesburg and really don't have the support that Australia has in regards to people coming out to your house and helping you through things like this, having said this once we are back in Melbourne in approx 6 months time and if we are still going through the same issues I wouldn't hesitate in having someone come to the house with some gentle advice to help me out.

ETA: Also, just wanted to say, I can't stand crying, really averse to it, this is why I havn't left her to have a whinge to herself and possibly self-settle, the sound drives me insane (I am not good with loud noise/music etc) so maybe I will be doing this when she is 5 years old LOL.

Thanks
Laurin

Just a gentle reminder that this section is for No-Cry sleep solutions. Please respect the posters here and refrain from posting any content regarding CIO or Controlled Crying methods.

I have removed some posts that have CIO/CC content and if anyone wishes to discuss this with me further please contact me cailin@bellybelly.com.au

Regards,

Cailin
Administrator
www.bellybelly.com.au

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sometimes at 3 pm in the morning you need someone there holding your hand telling you where you are going wrong.

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Don't I just know it! 4.30 for us this morning.

But I will tell you this - you're not doing anything wrong. Think about it - if you went from napping at will all your life, being nourished constantly, never being cold or wet, and being up most of the night then were expected to change and not only sleep all night but understand temperature, hunger and have a wet nappy on we wouldn't be too happy. Some people are more changeable than others and get on with this quickly, others resist change. And this is a BIG change to go through after a trauma such as being birthed.

Well, that thought has just really helped me! DS isn't big on change. He likes his routines - but I could tell you that anyway. Just thinking that this is a change from in utero to Outside does help. Well, helps me keep perspective after a cup of coffee when I get up anyway!

There's a big difference, to me anyway, between him humming to go to sleep, mumbling that he wants to sleep and then starting to cry because he's tired. I tend to look at the early whinging like me when I'm tired - I just need a bit of a vent then I can go to sleep. So DS is just having a vent to his mate, Herr Hare, and then he may sleep. If not, I can help him. I do think perspective is the key here - another friend of mine has a son who goes to bed and for the next 30-60 minutes will just babble random words, even at the age of 3. She was upset until she realised that she never goes straight to sleep, but reads and writes a diary for up to an hour and her son is just taking after her. HTH.