30wk premmie, any advice

hello all,
Im a new mum to a little boy that was born 8 weeks early. I started bleeding badly and clotting so i had to have an emergency c section. He was born weighing just over 1400gms. He will be a week old on thursday. Im just wondering if there are any mums out there that have been through this and can give me some advice on how to cope as im finding it really hard to be apart from him. it makes it harder as the hospital that he is in is over an hours drive away and we can only make it up there every secound day as we have a 10 month old girl and it is hard to find a babysitter for her as its too long of a drive to take her along. I have been told to expect that he may take one step forward and two steps back and it may not be all that smooth sailing, i just want to know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel
Thankyou
Kyla

First of all, congratulations on the birth of your son!!

Which hospital is your son at? I know the Womens in melbourne has a childcare facility. But do u have any family? And maybe ask the hospital about when your son can be transfered to a local hospital. Id he on oxygen or anything? Sometimes if they are just small, they are breathing on their own and everything, they will just send him to the lcoal hospital to be "fattened up" ready for goingn home.

hi kyla
my twins were born 10 weeks eariler and my son weighed the same as your son - 1402g. Yes you are right about it being 2 steps forward, one back. It is so hard leaving your child behind, but you know that he is in the best place. The best thing i can suggest is to involve yourself as much as you can. When you are there see if you can change he nappy and give him his gavage feed. Also, don't be afraid to ask questions . In the end my DS saw so many docs and specialists that the info was overwhelming and sometimes conflicted with each other. So we got his pead to gather all the medical results and run through them with us. Made it easier to digest.
Also if babysitting is a issue, why don't you see if you can go in at night when you DD is asleep and you can have your partner watch her or a relative watch her whilst she sleeps. Then there is no stress about babysitting. I also found that going in late at night the nurses were more relaxed and more open to showing you or giving you more opportinities for kangaroo cuddles. What hospital is your son at?
good luck and if you have any questions - please feel free to ask away

Hi Kyla,

congratulations on the birth of your son! what is his name?
i agree with what Odette said that if you can possibly get there at night if your dh is home with your daughter the atmosphere is a little more relaxed in the hospital. The nurses dont have as many parents etc coming in and out and may be able to give you lots of advise and tell you just what is happening with your baby and explain it fully so you understand.
If you go home not understanding what they are doing to him or what they have told you, you will probably find yourself more upset.
I hope your little boy continues to do well through his early stages of life and please update us on how he is doing.
There are lots of premmie mums here on BB with some great advise and general support so please feel free to ask lots of questions or even just vent about how you are feeling.
There is another great premmie support forum called "Lil Aussie prems" which you can log onto and share your expericences with other parents of prems.

Hi youngmum

Hang in there, and yes, remember you do have access to your baby 24 hours. You can visit him at any time night or day. You can also call and ask how he is anytime of the night or day. A quick call to know that he is doing well will put your mind at ease and let you get some rest.

Also have you been in contact with your social worker? They are there to help you with anything you need. They will help you with accommodation for you and your family at little to no cost, so you can be closer to your son. They are also great to just chat to as well.

Take in some of his teddy's if you have not already and definatley do kangaroo cares as often as you can. This really does make the world of difference,like regulating their heart rate amongst many other wonderful things.

Look after yourself as much as you can too, I wish you all the best.

August x

Congratulations Kyla on the birth of your son. My daughter arrived at 27 weeks, and it is good to know there are heaps of others who have been through having a prem and happy to offer you support. Another good supportive site for parents of prems is "Austprem" - if you haven't already found it do a google search and join up as that is the place I found out just about everything I need to know about prems and it opened up a whole world of support to me and hubby when we first became parents to a prem.

I agree it is so difficult meeting the needs of your little one at home while having a bub in the NICU; don't feel guilty if you can't always get to the hospital, your bub is in very good hands and you can always phone for reassurance.

Good luck Kyla with everything and hope your little boy is doing well.

Thankyou all who replied, it makes me feel alot better to know that other people have been through it and have a healthy baby to hold.
well my little boys name is liam and i went to the hospital yesterday and he looked the best he ever has. he was a week old on thursday. They had him off the air earlier in the week, but he started to get tired. When we got there they were just taking it off which was great. my partner and i got to have a quick cuddle. They put him up my t-shirt so we were skin to skin. It was amazing. I didnt want to let him go. My partner said he couldnt feel and weight when he was holding him it just felt like a bunch of blankets lol. Last week also they started him on my milk, he gets 3mls every 2 hours. But he was having trouble digesting it and because he was on the air it was causing him to have wind, so now thay put it through a pump that drips it into his stomach.
The hospital he is in at the moment is the flinders medical centre, in all of SA that hospital and women and childrens in the city are the only ones that have level 3 care. There is a hospital that is 15 minutes away from my house where he was born before they transferrred him, thay only have care for babies 32 weeks and up. So i keep asking them how long till he goes there. They cant give me a definate answer, which makes it harder. Some say 2 weeks , some say 4 to 6 weeks. They did try to find me an apartment at the flinders so i could be close to him but they are all booked out. We do have family to watch our girl Erika, but i feel i keep putting them out. I think the thing i find hardest with my little girl is not being able to pick her up or carry her around. She banged her nose the other day when her dad was out and gave herself a little bit of a blood nose. I felt soo helpless as i couldnt pick her up and give her a cuddle.
Thankyou for all your support and ill try to keep you all updated on liam as much as i can
Kyla

PS he did his first poo on wednesday, and did another on friday, good to know thats all in working order. Also as the nurse was changing his nappy he weed all over himself lol.

Hi Kyla I agree with everyone else it is hard and nothing prepares you for it.
Everyone else has said all the right things I just wanted to say hi and lend my support. Make sure you take care of yourself he needs you to be strong for him and use your family and friends. Get them to babysit your daughter it will be max about 8 weeks till he comes home and in the grand scheme of things its not that long to lean on other people and you can always make it up to them when he comes home :) Remember people want to help you so let them!
Take care and keep us updated on Liams progress
good luck
xox

Hi Kyla,

I've recently been through a very similar situation. My baby was born 12 weeks ago, at 31 weeks, after I had a placental abruption. I got my beautiful girl home four weeks ago and she is big and fat and healthy now, on only breastfeeds and smiling regularly.
I know what a nightmare it is to have the shock of a premature birth, and then the horror of your little baby being in intensive care. I spent every day with her in hospital and was like a zombie for most of it.
The first three weeks were the worst, with apneas and bradys and a scare that she had an intestinal problem, but after that she just began to improve so quickly, and I could see her growing every day. My advise would be to make sure you keep up expressing, as it's one of the few things you can do that really helps your baby at first, and try and do as many of his care as possible, like nappy changes and tube feeds. Also, you should feel free to call the hospital any time day or night just to check in. The nurses really don't mind and it's a great reassurance.
Good luck. Those tiny little babies covered in tubes become happy fat babies quickly.
Melissa.

hello everyone,
Just another update on liam. He is doing really well. He has been of the air since monday, which is the longest he has been breathing on his own. He heart rate had dropped a few times but he has corrected it himself. As of yesterday they took him off his feeding pump which fed him constantly, now he get 11mls of milk straight into his stomach. Also when we went to vist him yesterday and he has clothes on. I got to feed him and my partner and i gave him a sponge bath. I spoke to the midwifes about getting some medication to help boost up my milk as its started to drop off and they said under the circumstances its a common problem, and the medication works for some people and others not. So fingers crossed it works. I could only feed Erika for 3 months then my milk started to dry up and she wasnt getting enough and i would like to feed liam for atleast a year to give him the best possible start.
Thankyou all again for your support and i know that if i can get through this emotional time i can deal with anything.
Kyla

Hi again Kyla - I just read your updates and - wow - that is great how Liam is powering along; and well done to you re the expressing milk and caring for your little boy. This is a stressful time but you are right that getting through it makes you a more resilient person.... We have found the whole prem journey opened another world to us and really enriches your life (although its hard to imagine that when it feels so hard). You bring back memories re what you describe about having a bub in the NICU; my daughter is now 2 and a half years old and looking at her you would never know she arrived at 27 weeks. She is a gorgeous healthy child, full of energy and chatter.
Sending you good wishes to get through this difficult time - hang in there, it will all be worth it when you can look back on the early days as a memory as Liam grows and grows.

Kyla it sounds like Liam is doing all the right things :) I know how hard it is to keep your milk supply up when you're expressing solely, stressed out and recovering from surgery yourself. Have a look at this thread, as it outlines some things you can try to increase your milk production.

Hello again,
Liam is doing great in the last week. Im so proud of him. In the last week and a half he has put on around 110gs which im told is really great and hasnt needed the oxygen for a week, he has been breathing on his own. He now also gets 11mls of my milk every hour. Now im just waiting for the day they tell me he is going to be transferred to the closer hospital.

Hey,
I have just come upon your thread. Congratulations on your boy!! I am so glad to hear that he is doing well, it sounded like he had a rocky start. Picking up 110g is very good!!
My dd came 6 weeks early. She luckly had no problems breathing and stayed in NICU just to gain weight. I remember how daunting it was and I can relate, because we had to drive about 60km to the hospital too. And also about the nurses not giving direct answers on when you can expect what. I do not have any other childern, but I can only imagine how totally chaotic it has been for you! About your breastmilk, do you pump out regulary? One of the nurses told me that I need to pump every two hours. I was like WHAT! Are you serious? But it did help to keep the supply up.
The only other thing I can maybe "warn" you about is a nipple shield. I don't know when they are going to let you breastfeed him (hoping soon). My hospital gave me a nipplehield to bf with from the beginning. They told me that it helps them get their little mouths around the nipple and it makes it easier for them to feed. I had losts of problems and gave up after bfing for 3 months. When I tried to just put her on my breast, she did not latch. I tried for two days and gave up in total frustration. So the next one I am putting on "bare-back" from the start.
O and by the way, having a prem is the most wonderfull thing. They are so small and tiny and just so totally perfect. And when they do start growing, they are still small. I think they stay "baby" much longer :)
Mine is now seven and a half months and have just started wearing 3-6 month clothes - SOOO CUTE!!
Enjoy him, he truly is a gift!

Congratulations on your boy!!

im a young mummy too.
i had my son 30 weeks prem c section. born at 1000 grams....
hang in there hun. pm me yr addy if you wont to ask me any questions.
jaylen was in hosp for 10 weeks and had a very very very long rd. hes now a happy and healthy baby boy almost 4..
hes just small...
hope yr little man is fighting strong.
what hosp is he at?

hi youngmum! 110gms is fantastic news, yay for Liam! :hug:I know what you mean about the conflicting advise you hear when waiting to leave the hospital and take him home...everyone says something different and it's heartbreaking when someone says longer. You learn to take each day as it comes which is sounds like you are doing too.

Ask at your local hospital how much he needs to weigh before they can take him and also I know that the premmies at JHH needed to be 1500gms before they would transfer so finding out these things might give you some idea of your own when you will be able to go home.

In the meantime I hope you can get into the accommodation keep trying to get in. It will make it so much easier for you to be there for Liam and Erika.

About your milk, you may need to be expressing every 3 hours to keep up a good supply. A total of 100 minutes is what I was advised to do for my DS when he was in NICU at John Hunter. Lucas was born 4 weeks early. He had gastroschisis and I was going to be induced at 37 weeks anyway, but he decided to come a even earlier, and was born via emergency c-s at 36+2. (You can read his birth story here https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ad.php?t=44308 Lucas needed to have an operation immediatley after birth so I knew beforehand that I would be expressing but nothing prepared me for what it would be like.

It feels like its time to start over again when you have only just finished. I used to do it 5X 20 minutes - 10 minutes a side - to manage it, and to get some sleep overnight. So try and get 100 minutes in if you can, or Barb in the breastfeeding thread would be able to give you some good advice.

August x

hello all
thanks august ill have to give that a go. Well yesterday i left the hospital with a spring in my step and a smile from ear to ear. they said it looks as if liam will be moved to the closer hospital next week, which i cant wait for. Also he is now a level 2 baby, he now weighs just over 1700gms. They also put him to my breast and told me to express a few drops of milk so he gets the flavour. they didny expect him to attach, but he did and sucked for 3 minutes, even the midwife was shocked. So ive been so happy these last 24 hours he seems to be doing so well. They also moved his feeding tube from his mouth to his nose. They said they do that as he is a level 2 baby and he will start breasrfeeding soon.

thats great news ...
well done liam!!!!
what a clever boy!