scared of repeat c sect (VERY LONG!)

Hi ladies!

I wanted to post in this forum to get some advice, and also to mentally prepare myself that I may be up for another c section.

I had a c-sect with my 1st, she was 10lbs 2 oz and apparently I had dis-proportion or whatever they call it, my OB at the time strongly reccomended a C sect to prevent complications from labouring and the babies head getting stuck, she had a 37cm head, I must have a small pelvis or something I dont know, but she was also posterior and had no intentions of engaging at 7 days past my due date.

I had an ultrasound done with this one the other week, at 34 weeks he measured 8lbs 8oz already and the lady doing the ultrasound had to keep re-measuring his head cause she could not beleive the size of it already. I know growth scans aren't all that accurate and they can either give or take half a kilo in size. But even taking off the half a kilo, and if I went to 40 weeks he will be a huge baby. I have to see my OB tues to make a final decision about if It's a good idea to labour or not.

I spent last night awake all night knowing I am 36 weeks pregnant, and they said they will probably try and get him out if by C sect the week before I am due, cause Im not allowed to go overdue, due to a previous C section and the possibility of the size of this boy. So that means If my OB says its safer for me to have a c sect than try for Vbac due to complications that could arise, because its the same problem as my 1st really happening again. That means I only have a maximum of 3 weeks left until my baby is born! And I am pooing myself, I probably wouldnt even be nervous if I was going for a normal vaginal birth, it feels natural to the body its what we are meant to do.

However with my C section with my 1st, I remember saying to my hubby in recovery, "that was the most awful experience I have ever been through I am never doing it again!"

I found the whole epidural needle thing scary, they tried 4 times to get it in, and when it wasnt working they were snapping at me and being nasty and rude to me, because I could still move my legs, like it was my fault! I wish my hubby could of been there for when they were putting the epi in I really needed him and felt so alone with the surgeouns and anethesist being nasty to me.

And I remember laying on my back and feeling like I was going to vomit during the whole procedure, from the feelings and movement in my stomach of people digging around, and not being able to breathe properly from laying on my back for so long, I was shaking so much from drugs when she was born that I could not even hold her. I remember feeling winded when they pulled her out and sweating and feeling hot while they were stitching me back up... and the next day getting out of bed to walk and no one offered me any pain killers or any pain releif for the 1st 2 days! I was in agony and I had these nurses going... c'mon get up get up!
I only stayed in hospital for 3 days I didnt see the point in staying longer because they werent doing anything for me that I couldnt of done at home with my hubby at least my hubby was a little more caring than the nurses and doctors there.

So I spent all night last night crying and blubbering because I know it is going to be likely that I will need another c sect, I am terrified and dont want to go through it again, for some reason it took me 6 months until I could walk properly again, and around 12 months until the complete soreness went away.

I want to do what is best for me and my baby and if they think c sect is then I will, I just cant manage to prepare myself mantally for it again it was horrible.
My hubby was very supportive last time, but he's really got his hands full with me this time around, cause I know what I am in for and it wasnt nice! Nothing he can say or do will ease my mind or make me feel better about having the operation again. And I dont mean to but I feel partially angry at him, becausehe cant help me in any way, and he has no idea what I went through witht he 1st one, the feelings I felt and afterwards all the pain. I love him to death, but I just wish he could listen a bit more about my concerns with it... sometimes I think he just thinks "oh well another c section, an hour and its all over with". I also had to wait 4 hrs in the waiting room to even get into surgery too which was pathetic! It just made me more nervous waiting to get in I hope its alot better this time.

Is there anyone else who's found c-sect while being awake traumatic and who is facing going through it again like me and is petrified? Ohhh my I am so scared!:cry:

I haven't had to have a c/s, but I just wanted to say that having a repeat scheduled c/s after an emergency one can be a calmer experience because it's planned, there's no rush to get to theatre and you don't have the confusion of being in labour and being told, 'we have to get this baby out NOW!". Some members here who have had to have a c/s or repeat c/s have had beautiful and calm births and have put a lot of thought into planning their birth - skin to skin contact afterwards, BF in recovery and even maternal assisted c/s etc. There is no reason at all that you can't have a similar experience yourself. In no way am I advocating for c/s, but if that's what you choose to do you can still make it the best birth you can have kwim?

Hi Danielle, I can kind of relate to your story. I too, have been told by my OB that I'll probably need another caesar as my first bubs head was not engaged at 38 weeks (she had to be delivered then due to pre-eclampsia). She said that it was an indication I might have Cephalic Pelvic Dis-proportion (CPD).

The thing is, true CPD is extremely rare and some baby's heads just do not engage until the last minute so perhaps this next bub's head WILL engage and you'll go into spontaneous labour on your own. it is very rare for our body to grow a baby that won't fit.

I do not want another caesarean either (mine was under a general so I found that traumatic).Therefore if my pregnancy is a healthy one, I am going to tell my OB that I wish to let myself go to 40 weeks and 10 days to see if I go into spontaneous labour :pray: and if it doesn't happen by then I will be more accepting of the fact that a caesarean is my only option.

Speak to your OB about this and if they do not seem too keen to let you go past the 39 weeks then perhps they will be happy if you agree to have daily monitoring to ensure bub is completely healthy.

Your OB cannot force you into a caesar so if you and bub are healthy then why not wait to see if it happens naturally.

HOpe this helps and I wish you all the very best :)

Hi Danielle

First of all a big :hug: because you sound so scared and upset. I had a horrible first birthing experience, and was terrified going into my CSec as a result. What was helpful to me was speaking beforehand with the OB who was scheduled to do the procedure about my first experience and its impact on me so he understood why he needed to look after my emotional wellbeing as well as my physical wellbeing. I also talked it through with the anaesthetist at the presurgical appt...make sure you ask to speak to the Consultant...and he was able to allay my fears. He said that things like wanting to vomit were a sign that they needed to tweak what they were doing and I should tell him at the very first sign that I was feeling that way. As it turns out that didn't happen and the anaesthetist was fabulous - it was the first time in months that I'd been pain free and I was on a bit of a high from relief that all the things I was terrified about weren't happening.

I also made sure I'd written it through my birthplan - that I was traumatised and I expected to be treated with compassion in order to help heal that first experience. It turns out they rearranged the surgical list (in the last 24 hrs) so that i could go first to save me waiting and wigging out. I really think you could benefit by having these conversations with your care providers, if you don't tell them they won't know that they need to take a little extra care with you, for your health's sake.

The nurses in the Mat Ward went the extra yard too, on account of my previous history. I can't believe you weren't offered any pain relief! Make sure you write that through your birth plan as well, and tell the nurses who are looking after you how your pain levels are going.

BTW I'm not surprised it took your body such a long to recover, because you were so traumatised by the experience. I had a similarly long recovery from my first birth (with residual pain for well over a year) and I'm convinced it was my body's reaction to the trauma. But after my recent experience I believe no two births ever need to be the same. Good luck and I wish you a much better birth experience this time round.

Oh Danielle...you poor chickie!

Your first c/s sounds like it was really tough...

I have also had a c/s...but fortunately it was pretty smooth.

To me, your first experience of c/s sounds like it was a really awful one...and that c/s are certainly not always like that.

I too felt ++nauseous after the epidural, but was told by the anaesthetist that that could be a side effect of the epidural, and to tell him straight away and he would give me an anti-nausea medication. So I did tell him, and the nausea subsided almost immediately with the medication.

And to not have pain relief in the first 2 days just sounds horrendous. I would absolutely demand pain relief. I had the epidural self-administered drip for about 24 hours and was then on pain mediation every 4-6 hours for the next 6 days. I can honestly say that I felt no pain, a little discomfort at times, but no pain.

So...I guess I just wanted to let you know that not all c/s are like your first (which just sounds pretty brutal)...

Speak to your Ob. about your experience, write out a birth plan (if that helps) and maybe even go and see the head midwife.

I wish you all the very best...whatever happens (c/s or vag.)...

I'm so sorry your first experience was so awful.

Small Pelvis? You Need To Read This Article
Small Pelvis? Here's The Truth About CPD

Have you had rickets or broken your pelvis? Then the chance of CPD is extremely slim. Instead we need to look at factors prohibiting pelvic space like being on the bed, flat on your back, immobile or a baby which is malpositioned. Often posterior babies result in mums getting labelled as CPD... how do I know? Midwives notice in the c/s's. But what doctor is going to come up to dad after the op and say, 'Sorry mate, that wasn't really needed but you have a healthy baby!' They need to give a reason. A head Ob at the RWH in Adelaide even admitted this, they need a reason for doing it.

Firstly some advice CHANGE HOSPITALS - do not go back to that hospital and if you have no choice tell someone (make a formal complaint at the hospital) what happened so it will not happen again. You may not want another c/s but remember the important thing is that both you and your baby are safe and healthy.

:hug: to you hun... I know what it is like, as I hated every part of my c/s and I am determined not to have one again..... I think the advice that you have been given so far is great. Could you also write a very thorough VBAC birth plan and go through it with your ob, so that you are aware of all the scenarios and what can happen. That way you will know that you gave it your best shot, and if it ends up in c/s again you have no regrets??
I know that feeling, I feel sick just thinking about having another c/s but I know that if it is absolutely necessary then so be it, but we will be doing everything possible to have a successful vbac including having a doula.
I also think of my girlfriend who is a size 6 - absolutely tiny, and she gave birth to a 10lb14oz boy followed by a 9lb 10oz boy..... epidural but no c/s! She is my inspiration! Our bodies will rarely make babies bigger than we can birth so trust in your body and baby hun!! Good luck with it all and I hope you can get to a place where you are content and happy with your choices.

You poor thing Danielle, I know how your feeling as i also ill treated in the hospital after my first baby. I felt like they thought I was too young (i was 21) and they were just too busy!!! I had a terrible natural labour which has put me off trying to have a natural one again after tossing up between that or a c-section due to other issues. However listenting to your story sounds pretty scary too. Was it a planned cs or emergency?

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I had a horrible first birthing experience, and was terrified going into my CSec as a result. What was helpful to me was speaking beforehand with the OB who was scheduled to do the procedure about my first experience and its impact on me so he understood why he needed to look after my emotional wellbeing as well as my physical wellbeing. I also talked it through with the anaesthetist at the presurgical appt...make sure you ask to speak to the Consultant...and he was able to allay my fears. He said that things like wanting to vomit were a sign that they needed to tweak what they were doing and I should tell him at the very first sign that I was feeling that way. As it turns out that didn't happen and the anaesthetist was fabulous - it was the first time in months that I'd been pain free and I was on a bit of a high from relief that all the things I was terrified about weren't happening.

I also made sure I'd written it through my birthplan - that I was traumatised and I expected to be treated with compassion in order to help heal that first experience.

I had a similarly long recovery from my first birth (with residual pain for well over a year) and I'm convinced it was my body's reaction to the trauma.

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Did you have natural or cs with your first baby Marydean? I had a horrible and very long (3 days) labour with my first child and damaged my tailbone. I can actually say that the recovery from that was just as painful and long as a c-section. I found it hard to breastfeed too and could only feed for 5 weeks then had to change to the bottle.

What a great idea about writing it in a birthplan that you are traumatised. I think sometimes thats the only way you can get through to the doctors and midwives. Well im certainly going to try anyway!

Mrs S, my first and horrible labour was a badly managed induced vaginal birth. I had a nasty tear from it which took well over 12 mths to resolve completely not to mention the bum operation I had several months later and a mild prolapse. Most of all though I was traumatised and I had PTSD which was only diagnosed much later on. My CS was a very pleasant experience in comparison, even though I ended up with a lingering infection, so my physical recovery was slow but emotionally I was ok and in a much better space to cope with it. I can honestly say the CS recovery pain was much easier to cope with than the horrendous labour pain and the aftermath of that on my body. I'm aware as I type this that it's a very contentious thing to say, but mine was a pretty extreme experience. It sounds as if your birthing experience was similarly extreme, and I just want to offer you my support and my hope that you are able to birth again in an empowered and supported way, no matter whether it's a VB or a CS.

Re the birth plan, I was lucky in that the very first midwife i saw at the admission clinic was sympathetic and I think she wrote some stuff right on top of my notes, as there were several times when I was there that I got the impression someone had just read my notes and decided to go the extra mile for me. Eg I was supposed to go into a shared room (having had an elective and not an emergency CS) but even as they were wheeling me up from recovery, they changed their minds and put me into a single room - I heard them say "because of her previous history".

It helped that when the staff asked me what I meant by "traumatised" I was able to tell them specific details - ie blacked out memories, completely dissociated from my baby for months afterwards, flipping out when I went into one of the labour rooms on the hospital tour. So it helps if you can be specific in your descriptions of how your experience continued to affect you for some time after the birth. It translates your subjective experience into a language that the doctors will pay attention to. Also be clear about what you want to be different this time. I hope that helps

Its so wonderful to hear positive stories like yours, as i feel we are in a similar situation so thankyou for your support! :hug:

I will be planning to breastfeed in recovery if i can and also have my husband there. Will have to check all of that out with the hospital.

I just feel i will be in a better state of mind being able to prepare for a cs and prepare for the aftermath of it too.

Im still suffering with my tailbone pain and i cant imagine what life would be like if it got any worse. I also think the pain and long term damage i can do outweighs the outcome of cs.

I just feel so alone sometimes as its not a very common thing and a lot of people just dont understand. I think for the well being of me and the child I need to take away that stress and start pleasing myself, not everyone else.

After hearing that you had a bad induction has put me off even more as there is no way i am risking my life by going into labour naturally. If I was to choose to be induced over a cs, i can see it being very similar to my first labour, maybe even worse and i think i would be mentally scarred for the rest of my life if that was to happen. I never felt it was an amazing experience and although i was excited to see my son when he came out, all i could think about was thankgod that awful experience is over! It really took away from the joy of having a baby and still sticks in my mind today.

Unless something happens to my husband there is no way i am going back for another baby. Having to inject myself everyday is not nice and the weight of the baby on my tailbone is excruiating. I also put myself at great risk of getting another blood clot while being pregnant and thats too scary to think about. Im surprised I went back the second time but my husband really wanted two kids as did I.
So that kinda helps make my mind up into having a cs too.

Did the midwives take your baby at night until they needed a feed or were you left to look after them yourself?

Mrs S I will reply over in your other thread as we have kind of hijacked Danielle's thread. Sorry Danielle :)

I want to add my wishes Danielle for all the very best for a well supported birth on Thursday - may it be a healing time and a blessing to you all. :loveshower: Good luck and I will watch out for the happy announcement!

Yes i kinda thought of that before - sorry danielle, ill retreat back to my own thread! :doh:

haha, no thats fine, no worries about hijacking my thread! I sorta did it over in yours too Mrs S! hehe I guess its because we've all sort of been in similar scenario's huh? and thankyou Marydean for your pleasant wishes with my C/S on thursday, tomorrow is my last day feeling like a normal human for a little while but hey - I'll get there.

I actually asked the OB today if I could have some more time, cause bubbys heads fully engaged he is ready to try and come out on his own!!! The Ob said he would be more than happy to let me go the full 10 days overdue if I wanted but I needed to be aware that if a problem occurred during labour or birth it would more than likely be more serious even life threatening to me and/or my baby with him being on the much larger side. He did also say that the scans can be pretty inaccurate, but he is certainly expecting him between 4-5kilo bub and like I said before - my 1st was 4.6 kilo so its expected! He said I was in a much higher risk catogory for VBAC than other women cause my bubs going to be so big, otherwise if my baby was smaller he would not hesitate and say sure go for it and send me to nambour for a VBAC, with the success rate being 70 percent or something he said I think for VBAC births there I dont know. The end is drawing near and I really wanted a vaginal birth, but I want to be safe for me and my little boy too. He said that if problems did arise they would need to rush me off for emergency c section, and emergency c section is usually rushed and so quick like 30 mins from start to finish, therefore its harder on the womans body, and more risky for both mum and bub and the risk of accidents happening in surgery increase compared to that of an elective c section. And I was lifting Lily out of the car today and my hip got another nast sharp pain in it, now im even limping worse! and its been the sorest today its ever been!!! He also doesnt like the look of my scar its swollen, lumpy and stretched and so so so soooore! so his advice was not to risk it - especially if this is my last bub and the c section wont affect any future pregnancies.

So for Thursday its still on... hehe I was on a mission to get out of it this morning Im terrified! gee Im such a cry baby. But i did have a huge chat to him about how i was feeling during my 1st one, and he said all i need to do is tell the anethesist and he can give me such medications to make me feel and cope better with the surgery. So fingers crossed it goes a little better this time... aww Im so scared again, more so than last time coz I know what im in for this time, but I am excited too! I just cant contain it! A whole hard long 9 months of doing a wonderful job of baking this baby now I wanna see him! I just cant wait! - sort of... you know what I mean hehe - DH will have to hog tie me to get me to the hossy thursday! hehe.

Thanks for all your replies and stories, and being such a wonderful caring and supportive group of ladies!!!

Hugs to all!!!!:)

Awww Danielle...:hug: Try not to be scared hun, what will be will be, and you will be holding your little man in a few days time!! Try to conserve your energy and your thoughts on your bub hun! Keep walking, DTD and trying all those lovely natural induction methods in the meantime - you never know, bubby might jsut surprise everyone and come by himself!
Good luck with it all and keep us up to date with how you are going over the next few days!! :)

hey Danielle,

best of luck for tomorrow! :hug: You'll do brilliantly!
Just one more sleep til you have that beautiful little bubba in your arms :)

Enjoy your last night of being a pregnant mummy. And I look forward to hearing the announcement of your new arrival soon.

Tamara

Yes goodluck Danielle! Ive never met you but feel close to you already and cant wait to hear how everything went. Keep your chin up and try and stay positive, as a beautiful little bundle is about to meet you :stork-boy:

Best of luck :hug:

Michelle :kiss: