Lots of tips needed PLEASE

Hi, we are having a few "issues" at the moment.

Before i make the list, ill just make note that i do completely understand that majority of this behaviour is normal toddler behaviour and i understand that he does these things because he is frustrated etc. I just need a hand how to guide him alonag gently.

1: Head smashing: B likes to smack his head on ANYTHING to get my attention, and generally does it because he isnt getting the cookie he wants or the krispy kreme that he wants etc. Or if he has done something that is a bit questionable... I hate to say it, but i see that he is doing this as a form of manipulation, while i never beleived children KNOW how to maipulate, its somethign that they learn he seems to hurt him self to get my positive kisses and cuddles. Without encouraging this behaviour how do i kurb it? I dotn want to ignore it and he hurt himself.

2: hitting and biting. Tends to do this with other children, he is learnign pretty fast not to hurt mummy. but i worry that he will lash out at his sibling when he comes along. We dont smack in this house (well we try very very very hard not to) so physical discipline is out of the question, i feel he is too young for time out and isolation type punishments, and i really dont like isolating my child from the group. ITs not my style of parenting and i hate doing it.

3: Tantrums... OH MY GOD this kid can chuck a tanty and a half. But its over anything at all. He spends half his day screaming because he doesn tget what he wants. I try to ignore alot of them obviously this is working a treat :rolleyes:, but then he goes into the "head smashing" mode:wall:. I dont want to spend my days consoling a child that is chucking a hissy fit! i want to play and laugh and tickle how do you deal with the tantrums effectively? Whilst still respecting his need to get the frustrating emotion out.


thanks for any input and advice.
If there are any great books that you could recomend to help me on this path with my beautiful lively toddler please mention them..

Also, i dont want to change his boisterous (sp)heart, i just want to help him learn....

Sorry i cant really offer much advise. I can however relate to u on the tantrum side of things. Bodhi is a major tanty chucker. He will also do it over absolutly anything. I usually just let him go for it,most of the time he stops after 10mins or so. There have been other times when he just cant be consoled. I find the best way to stop him is to distract him tho. A friend of mine told me to try reading to him. He just loves books now. If he is having a tantrum & see's me coming towards him with a book, 8 times out of 10 he will stop & just come sit on my knee. The times he wont come to me tho, i put him in bed & he has a little time out. He might cry in bed for a few minutes but then he just starts talking to himself. Then i go get him out.
I know how stressful it can get. I have been through stages where iv just cried cause there was nothing i could do:wall:
Ur DS will grow out of it,probably sooner rather than later. I remember Mya-Rose also being the same when she was that age......mind u she can still chuck nice tantrum as well hehe just not as often.

Good luck with it all:) i look forward to seeing other ppls advise on this as well:D

OK, here's what I do/would do. Doesn't mean it's right for you but just my opinion.

1. Reward positive things, so before he gets to headsmashing give him loads of positive attention. When he headbangs, move him to a soft area and don't talk to him until he stops.

2. Tough one. If DS hurts another child he is given a time-out on my lap, or we leave the place. He's not left on his own. But he can't play with the other children if he hits them - it does work, after two time-outs he stops hitting!

3. Tantrums. Are they "I want my own way" or "I'm frustrated"? When DS screams because he can't have a biscuit before dinnertime we just say "no, no biscuits before dinnertime, you'll be eating in fifteen minutes. Look, let's play with bricks, what's Daddy making for you - DADDY! MAKE A TOWER WHILE I COOK!" If DS is frustrated I tell him I'll "do words" for him. Then I'll say something like "DS likes the rabbit, the rabbit looks fun. DS wanted to stay outside playing with the rabbit. DS is upset Mama took him away from the rabbit. But it is time for breakfast now. DS was taken inside to eat breakfast and afterwards he can play with the rabbit again." He usually calms down once he knows I understand his upset and is quite happy to do what we need to do (ie eat, go shopping or change a nappy) once he knows he can have fun afterwards.

HTH!

Hey Mummatotwo... have you checked out the toddler articles on the BellyBelly site? You can find them here.