My story... (part 2) "promises, promises..."
Ok now for the second instalment of... "duh duh duuuhhhh" mel's rant on how she got to where she is now... (which isn't a bad place after all)
ok wel after the ultrasound, me and XP were a bit frantic trying to decide whether to keep little tadpole or not... i really really wanted to but couldn't help but have these bad little thoughts in the back of my mind telling me that i was too young, not married, not ready... blah blah blah... i was tossing up between yay or nay for weeks, it was getting closer to the cut off date for a "termination" and i still wasn't completely decided, meanwhile XP was surprisingly ok with the prospect of being a father, but little did i know, he hadn't been to work for weeks... and was telling me that he was! that was all i needed, i went off at him, how dare he not go to work knowing he has a baby on the way! i could've throttled him! i almost did, but then all the promises, "i'll go to work", "don't worry i'll support you when the baby arrives" BLAH... BLAH... and stupid me believed him, again...
so yeah, the day i decided to keep li'l froggy was a pretty good day all up, XP and i were on our way back to my place from an outing with our mates and we finally came to a decision, WE'RE HAVING A BABY! i almost crashed the car i was so excited! we both kinda knew all along that we'd keep it but it wasn't in concrete until i said it... it was like a big crate of poop had been lifted off my shoulders, i was so happy, and XP ws ecstatic because it was the first time he'd seen me really "happy" in a while.
when we got back to my place, my sister was there n we told her, at first she jumped up and screamed at me n told me i was making the biggest mistake of my life... (of course now he's her favourite little nephew n reckons she loves him more than i do! hah!)
my sister and i had a big fight that afternoon but she eventually calmed down and got pretty excited about having a little baby around... as you do...
well that was that hurdle to get over, now for the mountain of telling my parents *sigh* i could've had a coronary there and then when i realised... but when i told them they too were surprisingly good about it... i told them i knew what i was getting myself into(no i didnt) and i could handle it (yeah right), of course at that stage i had a partner promising me and my family the world and that he would look after me and bubs... WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP! for the next week or so it was ok, XP was working, was planning to move in and everything seemed to be going ok, and then it happened again, XP decided he didn't want to work anymore and stay home watching tv all day... what he didn't realise was that this b!tch was on a hormone hike and the volcano was about to erupt... oh boy did i scream! i was screaming so much his drunk father came staggering in n thought one of us was dying! (and yes you heard me, DRUNK father)
anywho, after all the yelling and screaming i dished out, i threatened to leave him, and of course he came running after me and told me not to go... so i didn't... again...
and then starts a new era of fights...
ciao!
mel
ah the miracle of pregnant brain...
oh its easy! its become second nature to me to just cut off whenever i like! being pregnant i couldnt help it with the pregnant brain n all but now i just do it to irritate people! although... sometimes my pregnant brain comes back to haunt me and i forget what i'm doing or what i'm talking about!
but i'm doing it on here because it would take me hours to write the whole story in one go... and if i lost it i would be EXTREMELY cranky, just look at the last post i did before todays instalment and u'll get the picture, and that was only a few paragraphs!!
dont worry yourself too much ill write some more tomorrow or thursday!
ciao 4 now
mel
*sigh* for no apparent reason
thanking u cindyb!
yes i'm quite proud of my accomplishment i must say, i only make the cute ones!
yeah i'm a mother with a hig pitched sqeel and sarcasm coming out of my a$$... blame my father, bloody men!
ciao
mel
my story.. (part 3) ...one of the worst days of my life
OK!
jumping straight into it, where was i in the last post...
ok got it, the day the REAL fights began...
ok so here i am, 4 months pregnant, getting up to go to work, all the while XP is still in bed & "apparently" going to work as well... i go into the bedroom about 4 times to get him up... no response... so i go about my duties in the morning, shower, hair n makeup, brekky, make lunch, pick outfit... so while i'm picking my outfit i tell XP i'm leaving in 5 minutes (we go to work together), 4 minutes later i'm putting my shoes on and out the door, XP jumps up, chucks his clothes on and runs out to the car... (i wish i could get ready that quick!!)
ok now we're in the car, and i can't quite remember but i think i hit my hand on the steering wheel or something similar, and let out an almighty F**K!! just so happens that XP is just getting in the car, so he thinks i'm screaming at him and starts whingeing and *****ing about my attitude... he didnt once stop to ask me why i was yelling, just assumed that it was at him... and WOULD NOT STOP, i asked him nicely, then in a stern voice, then i screamed at him to stop carrying on(yes i know i shouldnt have but i was pregnant and grumpy and soooo not a morning person), and because i raised my voice, "ding!" now the fight just HAS to be MY fault... he just would not shut up, he kept bringing old arguments into the current one and blaming me and my "attitude" for everything... well i'd just about had enough, i was in tears at this point, crying so hard i couldnt see where i was going, i stopped the car and screamed at him to get out, he wouldnt at first but after me practically pushing him out the door he eventually did and started walking, after i watched him walk down the road a bit, i have no idea why i did this but i drove up to him and told him to get in, i took him to his house (which was just up the road) so he could drive himself to work because i wouldn't have been able to put up with him for the whole drive...
needless to say i was doing about 150 on the freeway (which is a 110 speed limit zone), crying and blubbering the whole way so absolutely no vision on my part WHATSOEVER, and just so happened that that day was the only day out of THE WHOLE YEAR that a radar was sitting behind the trees on the freeway... so yes, i was pulled over, and GUESS WHAT, i forgot it was double demerits week... so there goes my licence... the cop was a real A$$HOLE and assumed i was crying because i knew i'd just lost my license... I WASN'T EVEN THINKING ABOUT MY LICENSE, i just had a fight with my partner, ****HEAD!
so now i had no license, a whopping fine, and a court date assigned to see how hard i would get my a$$ kicked by a judge for speeding so much...
i had to ring XP to give me a lift to work because i was stuck on the freeway with no licence... i didnt say one word to him the whole way to work, but just before we pulled up he just had to say "this isn't my fault you know..." what a w@nker.
lets just say i was glad that day was over
i cringe just thinking about it...