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im the kind of person who likes to be organised for something well in advance. i was just wondering how many of you's actually had birth plans and found the useful and what you's had included on them
also what is ur prefered pain relief...it's all got me goin in circles
Hi
If you go to Labour & Birth topic - there is a thread on Birth Plans and people post theirs for opinions and for others to read etc - you will probably find that more useful for a varied input. Also on home page their is a draft Birth Preference Plan where you can use it as a template.
Hope that helps
I didn't have a birth plan because I didn't feel that strongly about certain things like who is to do what etc. I just wanted to go with the flow and make decisions as they came up. I was happy with that for my birth and will do the same next time.
In relation to pain relief, I went in aiming for a drug free birth, but keeping my options open. My DD was posterior so I was in lots of pain, I had the works- pethadine, gas and an epidural and don't regret any of it.
Good luck with your birth and enjoy your little bubby, it's the most wonderful experience ever! :)
Birth plans are most useful when you educate, inform and reinforce the birth plan with good choices. If you want a normal, natural birth, stats say your worst choices are private Ob, private hospital. Find a doula (50% less c/s, 30% less forceps, vaccum etc) and get some good birth education. The Pink Kit, the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth... anything on the BB recommended reading list.
At the risk of being repetitive...:lol: Absolutely agree.:
It's great to do a birthplan but it's really important to make choices that are going to give you the best possible chance of seeing it come to fruition. And that all starts with education.
Unfortunately there is not alot of really useful or empowering information being given to pregnant mums via the mainstream health system so you really need to take responsibility for educating yourself. Do some reading (have a look at the store here, or do a search on natural birth at Amazon, or Capers) - some good authors to start with are Sarah Buckley, Sheila Kitzinger, Janet Balaskas, Ina May Gaskin, Henci Goer, or Michel Odent. The Pink Kit that Kelly mentioned is also a fantastic resource for both mums and partners.
Independent birth classes are also a good place to start. Do a search for active birth classes in your area, or have a look at some offered by the Childbirth Ed Assoc (CEA).
Once you have those things in place, you'll be in a really good position to do an effective birth plan - because you'll know your stuff, you'll know your options and you'll feel confident in your choices....which gives you a much better chance of being able to follow through with them.
Congratulations and all the best :)
Talk it through, talk it through, talk it through! Not just education. Bore yourself to tears with it, along with your support people. That way you don't have to think, you know it by heart, it's going to happen.
Pick your support people carefully. If they put their wants over your needs (DH wanted a hospital birth and no doula, I needed a homebirth with MAYBE a doula and midwife but ideally no-one) then they'll do it during the birth. I ended up in hospital, no support and with about fifty thousand people surrounding me - see the "first world birth" from Monty Python's Meaning of Life - I am a Yorkshire lass so was planning on the "third world birth" from aforementioned film.
Reading doesn't help if you have bullies and no support when you give birth. Sadly, that's what midwives and Obs are in my experience - non-supportive bullies.
My preferred pain relief was being left alone or being supported. While that happened I had no pain (29 hours of 33, DS was half-way down at that point). And that's with a posterior baby; he was back-out before I went into the hospital (2 hours after labour started, 33 hour labour) and they started making their demands.
This is true. But understanding the influence that your support people will have, and how their feelings about birth will affect their ability to support you, is something that you will glean from getting your information from good sources. It all comes back to that fundamental issue of taking responsibility yourself for knowing what you need to know.:
It's a very intricate picture and unfortunately most women only have nine short months to put it together - so you have to be choosy about where you get your info. Question everything, and start from one very basic premise: this is your body, and your baby. No one can do anything to you, or your baby without your consent. Inform yourself (and your support people) so that you are the one in control...even when things don't go how you thought they would.
Hun, you can know all there is to know. You can understand influences. You can be as frickin responsible as that stupid husband isn't - but if he says that we WILL NOT ever meet with a doula for a chat and he will turn one away at the birth then you don't really have a chance of having that support, now do you?
Just being educated isn't the answer. Getting decent support and sending your DH away for a week when you go into labour may be. And ignore him if he promises to respect your wishes just to get in on the birth if you know deep down that he won't because your gut is usually less of a liar than a man.
Hey, I'm a doula - I understand how important good support is. That's my job ;):
I guess what I'm saying is that a woman who truly "gets" that as well, before she goes into labour, can make decisions about her support people that are going to be beneficial to her and her goals. And again, that comes down to understanding the value of good support before labour starts. That's education...fundamentally. Education about what sort of support you are going to need helps you to recognise that your hubby is going to be useless as a support person and to make other plans. Unfortunately alot of us don't get to do that with our first babies because we don't have a clue what we (or our partners) are going to be up against or what labour is going to be like. That's why it's really important that we share our experiences because there's always someone reading this that is learning something ;)
You can know your husband is useless but if he has you backed against a wall and not allowing other support, what do you do exactly? No matter what birth number it is? I know full well what to expect and nothing that happened surprised me, just saddened and traumatised.
I KNEW I couldn't rely on my husband, but what choice was left for me? Other than not letting him be at the birth? Which I was strongly considering and he knew that, which is why he took so much time off work pre-birth just so I couldn't!
Please, let me know where I went wrong. Not to be confrontational, I really want other women to be able to learn from my experience. And to help myself more next time (DH isn't even going to know I'm pregnant, let alone in labour! I'm having a freebirth because I'm not having ANYONE tell me what to do, no Obs, no midwife, no doula... no-one. I can't trust anyone).
RF - don't you think he will notice?:
DH isn't even going to know I'm pregnant, let alone in labour!
krizti - I didn't have a birth plan as such, but as far as pain relief, I had a sort of tiered approach - I thought that I would go as far as I could without any pain relief, then when I couldn't handle it anymore I would have gas, get as far as I could with gas, then move on to pethidine and as a last resort an epidural. As it turned out I got through with just gas so I was very happy with that.
It's also important to choose providers you feel you can trust or a hospital environment you feel comfortable with, that way you can work through your birth plans and preferences with them and know they will support you.
Personally I had an OB, and although I thought he was a bit of a smug git at times, and I don't know that I would use one next time, when it came to the crunch he did the job very well. As far as the midwife in the hospital of course I hated her at times during the delivery but when I saw her on the ward the next day we gave each other a big hug - we had been through something amazing together.
Good luck and hope it turns out well for you.
ETA - Oh and a good labour support person is absolutely crucial. My DH the Bear was the most awesome labour partner and was integral to me being able to have the birth I wanted.
Birth plan for me was fairly basic. I wanted to be the one to make any decisions and I wanted it to be as stressfree as possible. I listed things like using the shower for pain relief, NOT lying down, walking around, as little noise as possible (i.e. no music, people chatting etc). Just things to make me comfortable.:
For the pain relief, I wanted to try just gas for as long as possible. When that stopped working for me, then the lowest dose possible of pethadine. The epidural was to be the last resort to be avoided if at all possible.
Basically I wanted to be in charge and DH was only there to support my decisions and argue the point (if necessary) if I was contracting. I also warned him that if he dared to make an decisions without consulting me, sex was off the agenda for the rest of his very short life. He was happy with that!
I didn't have a birth plan as such - like a written one - just in my head.
Basically it was to be as active as possible and to use a bath or shower as much as possible and to take whatever drugs I felt necessary (including epidural).
The reality was much different to what I planned. I ended up with a long labour (17 hours in total + pre labour).
Because of swelling I could not get in or out of a bath for the last few weeks of pregnancy so sitting in a bath was out. Once in labour I just couldn't face undressing and getting wet and drying off etc.
I managed with panadeine forte at home til I was 6cms dilated. It only took the edge off the pain.
Once at hossy I got on to gas. This took the edge off for a while. I ended up having a couple of peth shots which made me feel a whole lot better but was still in pain.
I forgot (yes forgot) to ask for an epidural. I told them when I was admitted that I wanted one but due to be looked after by different midwives the subject never came up again.
Whatever your plan is make sure you word up your birth partner so that they can speak on your behalf. My partner knew I wanted an epi but he didn't bring the subject.
When in second stage they took the gas away from me and I had to do it without anything. By that stage it was actually less painful than it was during 1st stage so I managed OK even though I had a vac extraction (shoulder distocia & 2 hours of pushing).
Make sure you read up majorly on labour. I didn't and I really regret it. I feel I could've done a much better job of it if I'd read about it a lot more.