Printable View
Hi all
Looking for people to share their first DTD experience post baby. If you want to! Not looking for gory details, just want to know how it was for you - good or bad?
DH and I tried, last week, 7 weeks post partum, with Obs approval - and it hurt, so we stopped.
Wanting to know if it will get better? I want to enjoy it again!!
My DH and I have once, at about 5 weeks postpartum. I had a c/s, so you'd think things would be no different, but no... it really hurt, so we haven't tried again yet.
The girls in my BB group have talked about this a bit, and it was suggested that the hormones involved with b/f might make things a bit dry 'down there', which is why it probably hurt for me.
I hope it gets better.
Dh and i left it longer than that ( not sure how long tbh )
I tore each time and was too sore to DTD any sooner.
Plus i was still bleeding(sorry TMI)
I guess its a very individual thing.
Good luck !:lol:
After my 1st it took me a good 4 mths to get back into it... we kept trying my it hurt too much...
but never fear you will start to enjoy DTD again... otherwise we would all only have one child ;)...
every body is different as every birth id different it took me a lot less time to DTD again after DD1 about a week :redface: but I tore with DS and didnt with DD1... but it took about 6 weeks with DD2 coz she had mighty long finger nails and she didnt want to leave the building and held on for dear life :D...
Good luck with it...
sorry can't remember exact details but wanted to post seeing as u have posted something personal I thought it fair to share!
we dtd about 2-3 weeks after ds was born and I don't remember it really hurting but it wasn't the best ever iykwim.
Give yourself time your body has been through a lot and you have a young baby!! You're adjusting and tired and redefining your relationship as co-parents etc and it does take time to find that connection again. However long it takes is fine, take it slow, maybe get some good lube and if you feel at any point that u need some extra advice maybe chat to ur gp about it, I mean if you feel there is a physical issue
Took a bit over 3 months for us. I tore pretty bad with DS, so everything really had to heal. It hurt a little, but really only the first few times.
Actually, I think DTD is a bit better now than pre-birth. It would often hurt before I was pregnant/gave birth. Now I guess there's just a little more room :redface:
Hmmmmmmm
With DD it was 4 weeks Post baby.. with DS it was about 8 week's but that wasnt due to down staires... it was due to my emotional state more than anything! (and the fact we had a 2 year old and a newborn lol )
BUT, feel assured, it does get better and you will enjoy it again! lol after all, like tali said- it must otherwise we would all be one child families :lol:
We DTD 9 days post birth (c-section) this time around and it was great, just like before.. :)
Mmmmm, I think it was about 3 months after the birth. I had no desire to do it before that and DD was pretty much "surgically attached" to me for the first 3 months, so we didn't really get a chance.
I had torn a little bit at the birth, needed 3 stitches. It was a labial tear. But it seems to have healed up perfectly.
I don't remember sex being painful. A little tender, maybe. But it didn't hurt as such. But DH was being a little more careful than usual. Yes, it was true for me that things were a little dry pretty much until my period returned 9 months after DD was born. I do remember being surprised that things felt quite tight down there. I guess I kinda expected it to be all stretched and loose. Even DH commented that they must have stitched me up good (stupid old joke about puting an extra stitch in...grrr).
Anyway, don't worry, it will get better. But it might take a little while. Maybe try some lube? If however it doesn't get better over time, go and see your gynaecologist. Maybe there is another reason behind it.
I hope your partner is understanding and patient.
Sasa
For my first baby we DTD at 5 weeks.. It was a little painful but we managed ;) I don't think we got right back into it for a few weeks though
After baby 2,3 and 4 it was varying times.. not because of pain as I had a c/s with them but more just plain tiredness.. After baby 2 we DTD at 4 weeks I think and baby 3 was ages.. due to PP bleeding it was closer to 10 weeks and baby 4 it was 4 weeks as well
After my first baby, we waited till 6 weeks. I don't remember it hurting, but I do remember being VERY scared. I had a second degree tear and my stitches had finished healing a week beforehand and I was so scared of being hurt. It took a while to get back into it (probably didn't help that we were both exhausted) but we did eventually. Give yourself time, you'll get there ;)
DD1 it was 4 months. I had a couple of stitches and felt quite bruised every time we tried before then, so the GP just said give it time, if it was still painful in 6 months (:o)get a referral.
DD2 it was 7 weeks. Would have been 5 weeks but she was in hospital and we just didnt have the opportunity while I was staying in with her.
With my first DD I DTD 10days afterwards. (Gross I know) The bleeding had stopped as I had manual evacuation a few hours after delivery and had such a large postpartum heamorrage that I don't think there was any blood left after Day6. Amazing I know. I was also 17 and had a terrible ex partner. It didn't hurt one bit then and I felt all sloppy and yuck though. I had no stitches then. I had being pushing over 2hrs and I assume all the pushing and the fact that DD had being sitting on the peri for such a long time stretched everything down below which is why it was sloppy. Sorry for details.
So with DD NO 2 We DTD 4weeks postpartum and it hurt and stung for ages afterwards. She came flying out in 2pushes (much different from no1) and I didn't feel sloppy down below if anything dried up and small (excuse the details). I had grazes with her but no stitches. I think by 6-8weeks it was back to normal although dry from the BF. That continued till she was 12months although I didn't wean her till 21months.
OP first time hurt like hell after DD1 did so for months, best thing i ffound was using Sylk lubricant, works wonders!!
this time we tried around the 5 week mark and it hurt so we stopped, but not as bad as with DD1 so i know when we try again it wont be so bad, for me it was more the fear cos it hurt so much after DD1
Thanks everyone for your responses and for being so honest. As always, BB has come through and you've all given me faith that things will return to normal.
If DD behaves herself with going to bed tonight (asking a lot) maybe we'll give it another go.
Yes, he is, very. :D:
All i can say is, get some lubricant - it helps.
We dtd 10 weeks pp, i had heaps of stitches and was really scared so i kept avoiding the issue. It actually wasnt as bad as i thought but wasnt exactly pleasent either. We did it more for 'practice' and it was terribly unromantic.
After the 1st time it got better each time but we just took it slow at first for a while.
Have great night ;)
;) ooohhhh this is a terrible feeeling to me knowing we have to try sex again after giving birth c/s or vaginal.
all my kids have been vaginal births,so i know the feeling well i must say i think as much as it really does freeking hurt us ,i also think its got a lot do with our own heads I THINK OUR HEAD JUST REMEMBERS EVERYTHING IT JUST WENT THROUGH AND SAYS 'OH NO WAY THIS IS GONNA HURT'
then i think we also tense up tight knowing 'hey this is gonna hurt again lol'..
take your time hunny GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT LOL...:dance:
BUT WHEN IT DOES HAPPEN ..HAVE FUN AND RELAX:p
i made DH wait 6 mths , as soon as DD was 6 mths . i said " oh i suppose i better put out , youve been waiting long enough ! "
oh but really i was pining for it !!
i found it still hurt but prolly not as much as it would have done if we did it earlier ...
take it easy ... you already have him trapped .. no need to DTD all the time now :lol: