Need a spontaneous labour cheer squad

Ok guys, get your pom poms at the ready. I really need your help.

As a bit of a history,

My first son was born at 36 weeks 2 days, tragically he died inutero and was stillborn and I went through a harrowing 11 hour labour which was induced. I had an epidural (which didn't work) and I ended up with PTSD after his birth.

After a lot of work and de-briefing I managed to get to 38 weeks 3 days before I couldn't go and further and my second son was born via induction. Emotionally I couldn't go any further, I just wanted him here safe and sound. I managed to do it without drugs, not even gas and from first niggle to born was 2 1/2 hours.

This time I want to do what ever I can to avoid an induction. I want to feel what spontaneous labour feels like, I want my baby to choose their due date. I want the excitement of those first niggles turning into contractions. I want to know what a natural labour is for me. How long will it take, what will it feel like?

But I'm beginning to doubt myself. I'm feeling panicked and nervous. My Ob is very low intervention and is happy if I want to go post-dates even but the internal struggle is my biggest enemy. I'm having twice weekly CTG's and regular scans to keep an eye on bub and all is well.

I've done up a list of birth mantras (below) and I'm trying to read them as least daily. Other than that I guess I just need to quiet my mind and let my body do its work.

So any wise advice, insightful information or pep talks are welcomed and appreciated.

Lv a nervous Spring xx


The power and intensity of my contractions cannot be stronger than me, because it is me.

This is not pain, this is exactly what my body is designed to do.

I welcome each contraction. Each contraction brings me closer to meeting my baby.

I look forward to giving birth.

I picture myself calm and serene, I have looked forward to this day and want to experience it wholly.

I am not afraid. I give birth with faith and trust. I trust myself, I trust my body, I have inner help.

I believe in my body’s ability to give birth naturally.

I believe my body does not need intervention but instead knows how to birth my baby.

I believe any pain is life giving and manageable.

I believe my body will not abandon me.

I believe I will have the strength to do this.

I do not fear birth, I look forward to birth and to meeting my baby.

I will not focus on the pain but instead tell myself every contraction will bring my baby closer to being born.

I believe birth can be magical.

I believe birth to be an experience of love.

I believe I will be active and alert and that I will not need
intervention or medical assistance.

I am relaxed and calm as birth approaches.

I will not fight this process but trust in my birthing instincts.

I have faith in my body and trust in its ability to give birth.

I have enjoyed being pregnant and will enjoy giving birth.

I will search deep inside myself during birth and stay focussed.

Every breath will bring my baby closer to being born.

I close my eyes and picture my baby’s birth. I picture a gentle and loving birth.

I picture my body knowing what to do and opening up wholly to birth.

I picture my baby being in the best position for birth.

I feel the sensations and know they are life giving and not to be feared – my body will protect me and my baby.

I picture myself rocking and swaying and easing the baby down.

I tell the baby it is safe and we can do this together.

I talk to the baby and ask it to come.

I picture the birth and imagine the baby’s head descending through my body.

I imagine the sensation of my baby’s head crowning and I am relaxed. I do not feel pain, only excitement.

I imagine feeling my baby’s soft wet head and feeling love.

I imagine the sensation of my baby leaving my body to be
pleasurable.

I picture my baby being born into my arms easily and without fear.

I HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE, I CAN DO THIS AGAIN

Good on you honey for reaching out. Firstly - your body innately knows what to do. It is imprinted on your DNA... Fear closes our bodies down - acceptance opens us up.

Your affirmations are great - just a little tweak if you don't mind me suggesting it? Our minds don't get that negative is any differebt to positive.
For example: "I will not fight this process - change that to I go with my body & accept the birthing process... " for example.

I am not afraid - change this perhaps to - I enter the journey of birth with clarity, peace & a deep knowing that I am supported..."

Change any afraid, fear, to something positive. Our subconscious latches on to the "fear" & it gives you that.

As for going term. I understand how hard this is for you :comfort: Harry left & we will never know why. You have learnt the painful reality that babies sometimes are not ours to hold - the pain & unfairness of that is hideous. This baby in your belly has her/his own reality - it is highly unlikely to be the same as Harry's. An induction does not make live birth any more possible in the absence of any markers.

Honey, statistically the best marker of intra uterine health is healthy movement. Keep a track of those movements - keep a kick chart & know that she/he is fine. :hug:

Remember that a due date can be anywhere from 2 weeks prior to your EDD to 2 weeks past & that is completely normal.

I will BBL

I have no wisdom, sorry, but I know you can do it Spring :hug:

:cheer::bluecheer::cheer::bluecheer:

We are here for you and I'm sure you will feel it (us) when those first cntx begin xoxoxo

*signs up for Spring's cheer squad*

I'll help cheer you on Spring! You will do this, I just know it :hug:.

You come in here anytime you need to chat or vent and we'll be here for you and we'll cheer you on :)

They are some really great suggestions Inanna, I'll make those changes.

I guess I need to be honest with myself as to why I feel fear.

I feel fear because I'm worried that waiting will mean that I am risking this baby too. There is no reason (medical or otherwise) for me to feel this way. I just want to be a 'normal' pregnant woman with the 'normal' pregnant jitters but I'm not.

I detest fear, I want it gone. I just don't know how. Each time I think of the wait leading up to labour my heart flutters and I get nervous. I wish I knew the answers.

Don't get me wrong, I'm doing much better this time then at the same stage last time, I feel much more certain of my ability. I just want to keep it together a bit longer.

Spring x

:hug: Something I have learned is when you name fear out loud - it starts to get smaller. Think of it as shrinking down... Shrink it down in your head...

You said it yourself. There is no reason medical or otherwise why this baby won't be born warm & healthy into your hands... That is the most likely outcome above all others!

Something else is to plan - plan the days and weeks bbs

you can do this spring and you v got all of us women behind you cheering you on.
i have no words of wisdom huni just alot of hugs and labour vibes xxxxxx

:cheer::bluecheer::cheer::bluecheer::cheer:
Sign me up Spring!
I think acupuncture helped me, I was playing chicken with an induction but after 2 sessions of acupuncture i went into spontaneous labour. I had augmentation at the hospital but I progressed well and she was born six hours after arriving at hospital. I think anyone would be scared in your shoes, its completely understandable. But we'll help you hang on until labour starts for you. You can do it!!

You can do it Springy!!!

You can do it! :cheer::bluecheer:
I was petrified of an induction second time around, 24 hours after my MW assured me I would be allowed to go into labour spontaneously my daughter was born.

I would like to sign up too!!!

I believe you can do it! and that you will have a wonderful spontaneous labour and birth

I feel so much better just reading this thread and knowing I've got you all on my side.

Well almost through day one. What you said rings true Deb, fear is less powerful if it is spoken. I'm still scared out of my wits but I'm going to try to get my fears out there.

I was thinking this afternoon, perhaps I should try and be positive, it isn't the birth that scares me, that is the easy part, it is the lead up that scares me. At least I'm not frightened of both.

Well I've just finalised packing my bag. I feel settled knowing it's there ready to go. I've decided to wear the same nighty I wore when in labour with DS2. I took it off before it got messy IYKWIM so it is clean. I figure I had such a good labour with him it can't hurt.

BBL
Spring xx

Aaah your lucky nightie!
I had a lucky skirt that I took to all of my u/s... One day I went without my skirt... My obs even said: "I'm not sure we should do this without the skirt"... :rofl:

I think the nightie is a great idea - it's all positive vibes. Sometimes a photo of you and your DH can help... Or something from nature that you are particularly attracted to... I had a rock with me that was special... Bunya nuts are very powerful - the Aboriginal women find them sacred... I have some if you would like some??? The Bunyas up here have a special significance & they are so old and have seen many of our indigenous sisters birth their babies... Just an idea... :hug:

Got my pompoms out!
:cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer:
You can do it! heres to a fabulous natural empowering and spontaneous labour for you sweet!

You've just reminded me Deb, some very special friends gave me some crystals for DS2's birth.

I've got an Aquamarine, a Chiastolite a Black Tourmaline and a Green Jade. Packed and ready to go.

I didn't know about the Bunya nuts, there are plenty around here and it will be easy to find one. That's a job for tomorrow.

Lv Spring

:dance: YOu can do it huN!!!!!!! :dance:

Pop in there a rose quartz... Actually don't. I will lend you my special special rose quartz... I am about to receive my Masters attunement for Reiki and this Rose Quartz has been in the Gompa at Chenrezig, it's been at very special healing sessions, all of my Reiki attunements - at Mels Blessingway & a few others, At a couple of other births.


PM me your addy & I will post it up to be at your birth - full of beautiful loving Energy from manydifferent and special women/situations.

If you would like that - it would be an honour to post it to you. :hug:

Oh wow Deb, that would mean so much to me. I'll PM you my addy now.

Thanks to everyone for today :grouphug:

I will post it Wednesday or Thursday - I actually have to retrieve it from my Reiki Masters house!

It will be all full of wonderful Energy for you!

I am not sure about the Bunya Nuts from up your way... Different tribes of indigenous peoples all have differing customs and beliefs. Up here the Bunya trees were sacred - so much so that there were laws against anyone harming the trees. Indigenous Australians from around these parts would all gather at this very time of the year when the bunya nuts are fruiting to engage in story telling, joining of couples, rites, ceremonies etc... Up here we have the Bunya Dreaming festival...

So the Bunyas are quite sacred - inside the fruit is a nut like a little egg - which represents the birth...

Immy & I will go bush and seek out some for you from me... :hug:

:bluecheer::cheer::bluecheer::cheer::bluecheer:
YOU CAN DO THIS DARL!!!! We're here for you every step of the way!!

:bluecheer::cheer::bluecheer::cheer::bluecheer:
YOU CAN DO IT ! GO SPRINGANGEL GO ! GO, GO, GO !

I'm here Cheering for you SpringAngel!!!:cheer::bluecheer::cheer::bluecheer:

:cheer::cheer::bluecheer::bluecheer:S-P-R-I-N-G A-N-G-E-L Goooo SPRING!!! Innana has given you some wonderful advice. Trust in yourself Spring.

I'm signing up, too! Go, Spring! Cheering all the way for you! :cheer: :bluecheer: :cheer: :bluecheer:

Happy to add my cheers in here too.....:bluecheer::cheer::bluecheer::cheer:
My midwife kept saying 'your body is doing everything is meant to do....don't fight it..... go with it' she just kept reminding me - she was awesome. Also, if you haven't tried it I highly recommend acupuncture! It is so relaxing - just wonderful!
Wishing you all the best for a wonderful birth!
Rach xx

Hun :hug: you can do this. :leap:The destination is worth the journey. Just remember every contraction is one you do not have to have again, and the closer you get to your baby.
You are woman hear you ROAR!!

Good luck, and we are behind....:hooray:

I will keep you and your baby in my prayers Spring Angel. :pray:

On that note - never discount the power of prayer. With DS1, I spent all my time focusing on getting my house and babystuff ready, I never gave a thought to the spiritual significance of the birth and preparing myself spiritually for the event. After a traumatic birth with DS1, DH and I kept a prayerful vigil in the weeks leading up to our second sons arrival. Each evening we held hands and put in our 'cosmic order' - that is, we asked God for the things we desired for the birth and for the baby, and asked Him to give me the strength and courage to face the birth fearlessly and to endure mother nature's plan for me without intervention.

Between contractions I continued to pray mantras silently in my head. I definitely felt the presence of God with me throughout my labour and gave my trust over completely to the greater powers that be. Number 2 was born calmly without a shred of intervention after a 15 hour drug-free labour. Even the seemingly insignificant things that we prayed for - like having my waters break toward the end of the labour, and for there to be no tear - came true (the complete opposite to my first labour).
I also believe very strongly in the power of positive affirmation, visualisation and 'believing your birth into being'. Marie Mongan's Hypnobirthing book may be of benefit to you. It comes with an accompanying audio CD especially designed to eradicate fear.
Something else you may wish to consider is talking to your baby in a 'teamlike' spirit. Tell your baby that you trust in his/her ability to start labour when he/she is ready to enter the world. Tell he/she that you are waiting patiently, ready and willing to do everything in your power to support the choices he/she makes according to natures plan.

Best of luck. And yes - you CAN do it!! Pom poms at the ready....

XXXX

Thinking of you, hun, as your baby and your body bring you closer to meeting him/her. :hug: It sounds like you're really preparing yourself now and that will pay off when it's time.

You've done this before, spontaneous labour is just one more step. You can do it!

:hug: Spring. You can do this and I am another here cheering you on. Sending you lots and lots of spontaneous labour vibes xox

Wow, thank you so much to everyone for your thoughtful and inspirational thoughts.

I had a very reassuring CTG this morning and got to hear that wonderful heartbeat for a good 45mins. It is amazing how when I just sit still and concentrate, I realise that bub is very active. It's when I'm busy and running around with DS2 that I don't notice it as much.

Feeling a little more settled today.

:hug: You can do it Spring xxxx

If you want a kick start though - I really think shaking my tailfeather helped things along for me :)

So get dancing :)

I have no real inspirational thoughts or messages for you, but I am stepping up to join the cheer squad for you.

squishy :hug:

:hooray: Back to do a little more cheering!! :hooray:

I am joining in on the cheering too.:cheer::bluecheer::cheer::bluecheer:

Go Spring angel you and bub can do this

Gimme an
L
Gimme an
A
Gimme a
B
Gimme an
O
Gimme a
U
Gimme an
R

You can do it SA :)

I will be thinking of you and I hope you get the birth you dearly want.

xx

I dont have any words of wisdom but..
I DO believe your body can do this!!!
Focus on only ONE contraction at a time, Your Body and Bubs know what to do :)

i've got my pom poms out too cheering for you xx

This is just wonderful, I'm going to start printing out this thread and put in in my hossy bag.

Ok, here comes what sounds like a super silly question for a woman who is having her third baby but what does the begining of labour feel like?

Having been induced twice I've gone from 0 to 100 in an instant so I don't really know what early contractions are like. I know it must be different for all but are there any clue?

Period pain, cramping, general discomfort or do the contractions start straight away and just get stronger? I have a fear of being out and about and not really realising so I figured if I asked, it might help me feel better. Oh and lets put it out there now, no waters breaking in the middle of a shopping centre please universe.

TIA
Spring xx

Mine have always started of very lightly.... comes and goes down low and slowly gets stronger....

If you do go in for an induction can you ask them to only break waters and see what happens before using the drip or gels?

The beginning of labour feels different for everyone - though some of us have been lucky to have the text book beginning.
Often labour begins with a crampy feeling in the lower abdo that comes & goes. Often it's happening for a while & it's brushed off as BH - when labour has begun though usually the cramps become more regular, closer together & have more bite to them.

I had a text book labour with my DS. I had period type cramping that came & went. Gradually it became obvious it wasn't BH & it was the real deal... Basically they built in momentum and strength..

With my DD labour began with a bang straight away at 2minute intervals - it was much harder to cope with that...

So, when those crampings start - take some time to notice how far apart, how ouchy, how long they last. Often swaying your hips or squatting as things progress is a great way of dealing wiht the pain & assisting your baby's birth. I kept it all to myself until I was sure. I didn't tell my husband I just kept a watch... I though get very insular in labour. I hate fussing...

When you find it hard to have a conversation through a contraction - you know that labour is progressing along. Many women notice that they begin to lose some of the plug about now too..

This is so exciting my love... Your baby will choose it's birthday & we are all here... :hug: