6 Weeks Old...

I wasnt sure where to put this so I'll leave it in the general section...

I dont know if there is something wrong with my DS or this is normal for newborns.

Firstly, anytime he is awake, he is crying... I think he probably spends about 30 minutes of his day awake and not crying.

At the same time, everytime I put him down in his cradle he cries. If I have let him fall asleep with me and then put him down, he wakes up in under an hour and cries.

I just cant stand to hear the crying anymore and I dont know if there is something wrong and I'm not seeing it.

Maybe he is reeeeeeaaaallllyyyyyy tired and just cant settle. I would just cuddle, go for a walk, use a sling and keep bub close.

:hug: Its hard hearing them cryin isnt. Have you got a carrier? Babies like to be near you especially being only 6 weeks he is still adjusting to the world. whenever my boys made a noise I would offer a feed :)

Good luck hun hope someone has some better help than me :) x

Hi.

I don't have much advice...as I am a new mother myself, however I'm positive that there are lots of BBers who can give you advice.

I just wanted to say I know how exhausted this experience can be and hope you find a solution very quickly :hug:

Congratulations on your little man. :clap:

It is all very overwhelming in those first few weeks isnt it? And the crying can be very very hard :o I have had five now and that crying hasnt gotten any easier to hear.

The first few weeks of their little lives are such a learning experience just as much for them as us.
I totally agree with the sling and the closeness that they need. If it is becoming a bit much do you have support you can call on?
Putting him in a safe place to let him cry while you take five minutes for yourself is a must if you need to. I would put my ipod on and go out the back just to chill and breathe.

A few things you may want to look at if you are concerned

Wind - my 2nd son suffered chronic wind issues it was a nightmare! Who knew a burp could cause such issues?
Reflux - this was number 3 son. He had to be upright all the time so sleeping was basically non exisitant, again not much fun
how was his birth? My friends daughter got stuck in the birth canal and dislocated her shoulder which wasnt picked up for a few weeks.

Of course not saying he has any of this but maybe by process of elimination you could rule them out?

If you are worried dont hesitate to go see your CHN or GP. I hope you get some answers soon and hang in there it gets much easier

There are a few possibilities - the most likely is that he's a fairly normal newborn :hug:
Definitely see your CHN if you're in need of reassurance - hopefully you have a kind, supportive one?

Sometimes it's simple stuff, like being overtired and/or overstimulated - that makes it near on impossible for them to settle without you.
Digestive issues are also very common - they're still developing and getting used to actually digesting stuff.
These sorts of things tend to resolve themselves with a bit of time, and 6 weeks is often the worst time for crying and fussiness.

If you don't have one, get a sling or carrier of some kind - they are an absolute life saver for fussy babies. They are often happy as long as they're held and having a carrier allows you to do that while still having your hands free for other things. It's ok to hold them all the tiem if that's what they need - just make sure you also get soem break time. So, for eg, when your DH gets home he can step in and take over from you. And if you have anyone else around able to help out around the house, that's great too, allowing you to focus on your baby and your own rest.

All the best :hug:

i reckon the 6 week mark is a doozer. i remember it with DD1 well....and that was 3 years ago...lol.

sounds like it could be over-tired stuff too...which is really common and very easy for a young baby to become. with dd during the day we would pop her in the pram swaddled up and rock the pram or use a rug to 'jig' it until she settled...sometimes a bit of a pain, but did give the arms a break and helped me recover from the stress.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Our little one cried all the time when she was brand new too. She had reflux which was diagnosed at 7 weeks. Does he fuss when feeding and arch his back - on top of the crying I mean?

It's hard when nothing we do seems to help.
Huge hugs coming your way.

Sue xxxx

He sometimes arches his back and fusses when I am trying to burp him actually. He wriggles so much all the time, I sometimes find it hard to even hold him still to give him a cuddle.

Does is really get better than this? Because right now it all seems so hard, and I cant imagine why people go back for more :(

I remember that as a hard age with Sam too.
It would start at 5pm & I would put him in his sling & just jiggle around a lot & walk between the back door & front door.
I even remember going for a walk with him at 9pm one night to try & settle him.
I ended up going to the chemist because I was sure it was wind by the way he was arching & very fussy, they sold me 'Infant's Friend' drops & they worked a wonder!
I still use them on him now at times when he just can't seem to settle.
I promise it will get better :hug:

I noticed on your ticker that he's not supposed to be born yet, and I'm wondering if his prematurity might have something to do with it? Do you know if he had any tummy problems while he was in hospital? It could be any number of things that the others have said, but it could be something that you are eating that is upsetting him too. Do you have any caffeine, onions, tomatoes, garlic, orange juice, dairy, spicy food - anything like that? It does get better and I hope you turn the corner with him soon :hug:

Connie - it DOES get easier I promise :) Probably doesn't feel like it now though

My little man had similar 'stats' to George - he was 4 weeks early and weighed 2.6kg. At the 6 week mark we started to have real trouble with wind (as the other Mum's have suggested) - and it stayed that way until about 12 weeks (not that the next 6 weeks will be the same) but if its something similar there are LOTS of different things to try which will make a big difference.
If he's wriggling about it could be a sore belly or wind, he might be wriggling to make himself more comfortable. There are lots of wind remedies available - lots of natural ones or medicinal, we tried all and found that infacol was a winner for us. Things like a nice warm relaxing bath and gentle massage can be a great way to settle too - and hopefully he will then stay asleep for a bit longer for you too. Also if you think it might be wind - the old bicycle leg movements usually work a treat too. I found the oddest things in my diet would give him grief with wind when I was breast feeding - I had cauliflower soup one day and my poor little man was in agony :( Not sure if he is Breast of Bottle - perhaps try a different formula if bottle fed? There are some that are supposedly more easily digestible.
My little man had a pretty short sleep cycle early - 45 mins was the limit - can be very tiring as you don't get much of a break, but the best thing to do is to rest whenever he does if at all possible. Sometimes babies will sleep longer if Mum is laying with them - they you both will get a break! The other thing I found helped him too was a vibrating rocker - I think it helped move the wind out.

No guarantees any of this will work, but I found working through solutions helpful when I was a new Mum - helped me feel in control and that I was doing everything to make things easier for me (and bubs)

Hugs honey, hang in there, like I said, it does get easier :)

Connie I just wanted to give you a big internet hug and tell you that things absolutely will get better!

If hes arching his back then it sounds to me like he has some colic. The BEST thing i found for colic relief is Infacol. We went through this every day with DD (DS too but at the time we had DS we had never heard or been told about Infacol) and the first day i gave her Infacol she slept through the night. Has ever since! She was a completely different baby and always happy. It works by gathering all the bubbles in their tummy so when they burp the majority of the wind comes up at once. You can get it at the chemist/coles/woolies. Its in a Yellow box with blue writing. I also found giving extra burps inbetween feeds helped a little too.

Oh it definately gets much better hun xx

Thank you so much everyone... I had a tough day with him today. But tonight I caught up with some friends and was able to laugh and feel 'normal' again. All your support and advice is so very helpful and appreciated.

I have tried Infacol today, so thanks to those who suggested it. He definitely has a lot of wind... coming out of both ends, and he gets the hiccups all the time. I'm not sure if he feels worse when lying down flat, but putting him in his cradle is becoming a real battle. I have elevated it to try and help, but he's still not happy in there.

He's in the vibrating rocker now... but he's wriggling, so I cant see that lasting for long.

Its quite possible that he just doesnt know how to settle himself, because if we put him in there when he's asleep and he wakes up in there he goes nuts. If we put him in half awake, he loses it... I feel like he's too young to just leave him in there crying.

Connie, big hugs coming your way!!!! I remember when my DS was around the 6 weeks mark I wanted to give him back, to anyone who was interested!!!! Back to the hossy, to his grandma or just trying to sell him on ebay! lol. Seriously, the firts 6 weeks were sooooooo hard, but I also promisse you, it does get heaps better by the 12 week mark! My DS had shocking wind. He would arch his back and scream, and wriggle a lot when he had wind. He used to fart and burp like a trooper. I soon learned it was wind from talking to my friends with kiddies. I got onto infants friends for wind but that wasn't great, and then it was the life saving infacol. We still use it today, probably not necessary now......Oh, and my DS still won't self settle most of the time.........mosty mummy's fault as I got him used to being cuddled to sleep...oh the joys of parenthood! I'm glad you had a laugh and caught up with your friends, my friends were life savers when I was going mad in the beginning!! GL hun, and remember, it doesn't last forever!

B xx

Well last night was better... he slept from:
9:30pm - 12:30am - Feed 12:45pm
1:30am - 2:45am - Settle
3:15am - 3:45am - Feed 4:15am
5:30am - 7:45am - Feed 8:05am

Apart from that unsettled period he did really well. He is closer to deciphering day from night, but he seems to think night starts at 6pm and ends at 4am, so he is one sleep period away.

I did spend a lot longer last night burping him - and he had plenty of burps coming, so the infacol must be helping.

At what age did everyone try to teach self settling?

Connie, great to hear it went better last night! As for the self settling, been trying from about 12 weeks.....still trying! lol. Seriously, I am the worst offender, I am looking at a sleep school for my wee man, it is all my fault :shakehead: I got him used to being cuddled to sleep so now he hardly self settles. He has a few times, but again, I don't let him cry for too long. Like I said, I am way too soft!

Another tip for the burping.....when he was little, if I couldn't get the burp out (it did happen sometimes) I would lie DS along my arm on his belly, his head being supported my my hand, bum pointing to my elbow, massaging his back, and usually that got the burp out. I am a burp nazi, I have to get it out or else. I now usually start by sitting DS on my lap rubbing/patting his back, then I hold him upright across my shoulder and pat his bum gently. Usually he burps some more if it didn't all come out while I had him on my lap. I read somewhere that even the tiniest bit of gas can be really painful for them, hence the crying, wriggling and arching!

I posted the other day about self settling and to be honest, I'm not going to try until she is around a year old I think.

Sue xxx

My personal theory is that some babies do it, some don't (or at least, not till they're older). It's kinda pot luck and you can't really 'teach' it - it's a developmental step that children take when they're ready. Sometimes there are things you can do to help them along if they're ready, but if they're not then you just have to wait. Most 6-week olds still need lots of help to sleep, so I really wouldn't worry about it at this point. It's quite possible that in the next few months he will start doing it of his own accord - the best you can do in the meantime is do whatever helps him most (and makes things easiest for you).
The short answer I suppose, is that it just depends on the child :)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH Why wont this kid sleep in his cradle at night?

Even if he falls asleep on us and we put him in, he is crying within 30 minutes!!

During the day he sleeps in there... we have a night light, noise etc...

Huge :hug: for you Connie, the first few weeks are really hard, especially the middle of the night when your body is still adjusting to your new (lack of) sleep schedule. You are doing a fantastic job!

Please please be reassured that it does get much better in time, my DD is 1 in a couple of days, and I tell DH that I have the best job in the world looking after her, but I certainly didn't feel that in the beginning. My LO was also one of those who hated to be put down, she was one of those babies who really needed her 4th trimester! It sounds like your little lad is similar, probably even more so from being born early.

With DD everything made her unhappy, other than snuggling on me or DH. At the time I spent ages trying to get her used to being in the bassinet/her chair/her bath etc. but if I had my time again I'd leave all that and just snuggle her like she always wanted. We had a sling that DH would have her in which worked wonders, but I didn't get on with it, so when I bought a carrier at about 8 weeks it felt like such a lifesaver - I could carry DD right next to me, where she wanted to be, and still use my hands.

Have you considered taking you little guy to bed with you? He might be a lot happier and you could get some more sleep that way too. Are you b/f him? Learning to feed lying down is a really useful one!

Have you read any Pinky McKay books? For me, they were life changing. I felt overwhelmed in the beginning by all the things I *should* be doing according to all these books and what everyone tells you. Pinky has some lovely gentle ideas to help baby settle, but above all, for me, her books gave me the confidence to go with my instincts and do what felt right with my precious little bundle instead of trying to conform to all the shoulds. I don't think I've opened any of those other books since.

Be rest assured, there are plenty of others up with you right now. BB is great for keeping you company in the wee hours... if DD is sleeping in her cot and I need to be upright and awake to feed her, I browse BB on my phone to keep me awake :) things always feel better in the morning too.

Hope you're getting some rest now :hug: and well done, you are a fantastic mummy, otherwise you wouldn't have been here trying to work things out.

we can sometimes get dd to self settle, but only at night because she knows what's going on there, she refuses to self settle during the day. And I don't let her cry longer than 10 seconds! This haas been going since week 10

Just wondering re you having problems putting him in his bed at night.. is it still a bit cold there at night? I know it is here! but in the colder months my kids were the same and we use to place a warm water bottle in their bed and took it out before we put them in. Putting them down in the cold sheets would wake them.

Re the self settling it was different with each child. DS didnt self settle until he was well over 6 months.. he just wanted to be held the whole time.. whereas DD self settled from the day she was home, she didnt want to be held. So i guess its just trial and error. Try putting him in his cradle when hes almost asleep and then rock the cradle or tap him until he falls asleep. If he wakes crying and wont calm down, pick him back up and do your usual settling until hes almost asleep and try it all again. Best of luck.

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My personal theory is that some babies do it, some don't (or at least, not till they're older). It's kinda pot luck and you can't really 'teach' it - it's a developmental step that children take when they're ready. Sometimes there are things you can do to help them along if they're ready, but if they're not then you just have to wait. Most 6-week olds still need lots of help to sleep, so I really wouldn't worry about it at this point. It's quite possible that in the next few months he will start doing it of his own accord - the best you can do in the meantime is do whatever helps him most (and makes things easiest for you).
The short answer I suppose, is that it just depends on the child :)

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:yeahthat:

tbh, my DS wasn't anywhere near ready for anything other than feeding to sleep until he was over 10 months old. he's still not ready to self settle but has progressed to just needing you there. i def believe that if they're not ready, there's not much you can do (without causing them distress). i also think alot comes down to personality.

i also found that where DS wanted to sleep was changeable until he hit about 6 months. for a while he loved his pram bassinet, then he just wanted to be held, then sleep on our bed etc. so i think he sounds like a very normal 6 week old :) and it does get better & a lot easier :hug:

Shooting star - I've been thinking about whether he's getting cold during the night... It is still very cold here.
If I can keep my eyes open long enough I may head out to grab a grobag today to try that. Does anyone use these? Do you really use them without blankets? That seems weird to me...

Ok... obviously self settling is stretching it at this age - but I thought that I would at least be able to go over and rock or pat him back to sleep. But that does not work in any way, he just goes crazy. I'm not keen on taking him to bed with us because I want DH to get some decent sleep (not that he is because G is crying so loudly he wakes him). At this point to settling him, I have been lying on the couch with him. After about 30 minutes I put him into his cradle and he is awake within 15 minutes again. As a result... I am always turned 'on' and cant get any rest.

The temperature in the room is a real possibility... I know during the night I have had 2 blankets on me in there and still been a bit cold - silly mummy... what more of a sign do you need?

It may not solve all the problems, but it could help.

We use grobags - they're excellent! We don't use them with blankets, just layer up with more clothes and use the warmest grobag on cold nights.

That's just made me think though... Are you swaddling your bub? If not it might be worth a try as that can really help with settling. If you're concerned about the temperature you can add an extra layer of clothing under the swaddling, or put a blanket over the top. I didn't use one but have heard many people rave about the woombie, that might be a better investment than a grobag for such a little 'un.

I also thought after I posted... Have you tried a white noise cd? It worked well for us...

They say to just put 1 long sleeve suit under the warmest bag, but that doesnt seem like enough to me. And I get worried about his little hands being cold.

I tried swaddling, but he is one of those bubs that hates it! He used to spend so much time and energy trying to get his arms out so we gave up on it. He is much happier now with his arms out...

At 8am this morning DH fed him, and then put him into his cradle wide awake because he had to go to work. It's now 11:15 and G is still sleeping. He put himself to sleep... so he is definitely capable.

My DD sometimes sleeps with her hands spread out so I put her to sleep in the jumpsuits with the inbuilt mittens....

Its such a difficult time hey... :hug:

Connie, I've only started to use the growbag about 2 months ago and DS loves it. I too think it's too cold to just use the growbag over a long sleeve wondersuit, so I put a blankie or two over it. I have the bonds 'winter' growbag, it's excellent. Oh, and we got ourselves a grow egg to read the temperature in his room (he's only been in his room overnight since 3 weeks ago, he used to sleep in a cradle in our bedroom). I have an oil heater in his room so I always set it to about 21-22 degrees. I know you're supposed to have bubs sleeping between 18-20 degrees but that seems too clod to me.... My DS hated being wrapped right from the beginning so that's why the growbag is an excellent idea. I always used to put 2 or 3 on him when he slept until I got the growbag. If you're worried about his hands being cold (my DS's hands are cold sometimes too) you can always put mittens on them. Remember, just because his hands are cold doesn't mean he is cold.

Connie, when it's hard and nothign you're trying seems to work, go back to whatever is easiest and surefire - even if it's something you don't want to do long term like co-sleeping. You'll find that once he gets some decent sleep, settling will be easier, so you can stop the co-sleeping (or whatever else you do to survive) at that point.

Just an update on this.... last night DS self settled - TWICE! And then again this morning.

He slept all the way through to 10 minutes before his next feed and was half awake when we put him down.

At 12:30am he took 20 minutes to fall asleep. In that time, he cried out on 4 seperate occassions, each for 5-10 seconds each and then he would quietened down again. We decided to just let him go and see what happens. He ended up sleeping all the way till 3:30am.
At 4:30am he took 10 minutes to fall asleep - same as before, but he only cried out twice. He slept all the way till 7am.
At 8am daddy put him into bed fully awake, so just lied in his cradle for about an hour, looking around. Then he slept till 11am!!

Changes we made:

- Sleeping bag - we had him in a long sleeve suit, plus a sleeping bag, and 2 light blankets
- Soft Blankets under bed sheet - in order to create more of a nest for him, we put some blankets under his sheet so he sunk into them a little, but not enough to risk suffocation
- Heat Pack - before I put him into his cradle at 8pm, I put a heat pack in there for a little

I'm not sure which of these worked, but I dont really care... he finally got to sleep in his cradle and we didnt have to wake up and hold him or co-sleep once through the night.

Fingers crossed it wasnt a one off!!

Thank you for all the advice ladies - it really helped to get me to open my mind to new ideas and trial and error.

YAY!! Clever little man xxxx

Thats great to hear! Sounds like hes starting to get there.
I always used blankets with the grobags.. even though they say not to. I think its just so they dont overheat. But in times like summer, when id put my kids to bed it would still be really warm, but come night time it would get cold so id put a blanket on them before i went to bed. Its the same now. It gets colder at night, so in order to comply with their guide, they would be sweating when you put them to bed to start with.

Hope he keeps it up and keeps getting better for you :)

Yay Connie!!! So happy for you, your DH and your little guy. Sounds like you're definitely on the right track. Just remember, it is really trial and error, so keep trying different things if he changes again, you will find one that works. They like to keep you on your toes that's for sure!! lol.

Hey COnnie,

SO glad things are starting to settle down for you, I remember so clearly the first 6 weeks and they were hell believe me I couldn't work out why people went back for seconds, thirds etc :lol: I can tell you though to try to relax if you're anxious bub will pick up on that so try to be calm and hey whatever works do that!!. Sending you massive hugs and also just a heads up ... when you think they are finally in a routine, they'll change :lol: glad to hear everythign has started to settle down for you :hug:

Nae nae - that's what I'm worried about! Haha
Stage 2 is to get him to actually stay awake for some time during the day...

We had another good night... he woke at 2am, I left him for a little to see if he would self settle, he didnt sound like he would, so I got up patted him and said shhh for 10 seconds and it worked!

I cant believe I am starting to know the difference between the 'trying to settle' cry and 'I'm hungry' cry!!

So we had a few good nights, and since then we have had 2 shockers. The late before last he was waking up crying EVERY HOUR! I hardly got any sleep... last night he was up every couple of hours - thankfully DH saw how frustrated I was and he tried to take care of it.

I feel like we've gone backwards again.

Connie, I found out pretty quickly that babies can change over night!! What seemed to be working today might not tomorrow, but that's babies for you!! Unfortunately there is not much you can do but understand that it is only temporary and it does really get better as the times goes on. Like I've said, DS got heaps better around 8 weeks, then better again around 12 weeks and now at 6 months he is such a good boy (if only he could sleep longer during his day naps! lol). Hang in there hun, he could have a good few nights soon and then the bad ones will be forgotten again! How is his wind these days??