Inappropriate pregnancy announcement reactions

Let me just say that yes, I am a pregnant, hormonal, emotional woman but I am sure that this rant would be completely, totally and utterly justified by any objective measure!

If one more person, j.u.s.t. o.n.e. m.o.r.e. p.e.r.s.o.n. says “Was it planned?” I’m going to, I swear I’m going to say this, “Well that’s a very personal question, so tell me, when did you last have sex and what sort of contraception did you use?” :o and then I’m going to deck them and then I’m going to S.C.R.E.A.M! :angry: Just for good measure.

WTF is wrong with the stock standard “Congratulations!”, huh?

And for the record I variously answer that question with:
“Yes”
“No”
“Umm”
“That’s too personal and I’m not going to answer.”

I got that with Riley too!! it shiat me soooo much.

Again a big congratulations on your very welcome pregnancy!!

wtf? I don't understand people asking this it is extremely rude!!!!!! And no one else's business!!!!!!!

Don't let them get to you. :hug:

People are thoughtless. Many people have unplanned pregnacies and from the moment they find out are over the moon with happiness. I think because it implies you may love this child less that it gets us so worked up.

Unless someone specificaly asks another person 'whats your opion' with regards to xyz then people should just be polite.

RUDE!

Yes I think you should say "no it wasn't planned my DH and I had decided years ago to never have sex again so I have no idea what happened......"

I get that too...and I HATE it!!!!

Yup that was a very common reaction to this pregnancy (and still is if I tell friends who don't already know!) Umm... well yes it was planned, we had unprotected sex deliberately, he didn't accidentally fall in - and when I was ovulating and surprise surprise, I'm now pregnant.

Now - tell me about your sex life since we're swapping stories?

Why can't some people just be happy?? I wish I knew the answer...

:shakehead: why cant people just be happy for others

:hug: I know the feeling too. Poeple are so rude and unthoughtful.

The best answer I got was 'Really, AGAIN?? My god you two are like rabbits!!'

I don't even understand wy people would think that it is unplanned. My mum had my sister 6 years after me, and everyone thought she was an oopsie! In fact it took her that long to get pregnant again.

Congrats on your pregnancy.

have to say, I dont thinkI even got a congratulations when pg with Miss V or even this one. More like, well you need to get your TV fixed, or was it planned, to even a close friend saying to my DH after him asking her whether she knew I was pg, and she came up with Ohh yes I know, I dont agree with what she is doing but she is my friend and I will support her. Not a congratulations just that reply to DH. Not even a congratulations to me.
I think people believe that if you have more than 2 kids your completely insane. I held off telling most people this time, until after my morph scan, as I didnt want the stress. Maybe i should have held off even longer like once bub arrives, as the stress has hit. lol.

Anyhow a huge congratulations hun and I hope you have a H & H pgcy. hugs

:wall: I swear, because of our age especially, DF and I are going to get this...Mel, I like your answer! I think my head will explode if people ask if it was planned...TO A BLOODY T!! I agree with others, all people need to do is be happy for others.

I think you get it no matter how many kids you have or how old you are. If you haven't mentioned TTC to anyone, then it's "was it planned?". But I'm sure people wouldn't want to know that we had sex last night and that I was ovulating etc.....oh by the way, that's an example only!!!!!!!! No TTC here...yet ;)

So, if you’re too young, too old, or already have two children (or *gasp* maybe even more), or if people didn't know you were TTC (yeah, like they would anyway) people think it’s OK to ask you this.

Grrrrr..... :protest: It’s not! IT’S BLOODY RUDE!

Thank you everyone for your understanding and support. :hug:

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"no it wasn't planned my DH and I had decided years ago to never have sex again so I have no idea what happened......"

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And I do like this one. :lol:

Firstly, :confetti: CONGRATULATIONS!!!! :confetti: :D :D

What i dont understand is why it matters whether it was planned or not. I got it all the time too and i said well no but it is very welcomed. But does it make any difference, there is still a beautiful little baby growing inside your belly that will be loved more than anything.

Congratulations hun.

I was often asked this when I told people about my miscarriage. As it if mattered at that point, or as if I'd be less devastated if it hadn't been planned.

Big hugs babe... some people are just idiots....

I rarely get congratulations.. and its sooo sad.. I dont care If I have 1 baby or bloody 10, each one is so precious...

I think over the years I have copped every disgusting reaction you can imagine....:cry:

That is such a ROOOOOD thing to say... I can only remember a couple of DF's workmates giving me the congrats when I was pg, not one family member said it :(

Oh and csab and PB an extra big hug and hearty congratulations to you both! :hug:

csab :o seriously, I can’t believe your “friend”! :shakehead:

Nic, I get the same.. DH's family are always excited, but never ANYTHING from my own....
Thanks Epacris!!! :p

Oh but Jodie, boy were they all quick to rush up and have cuddles when she was born...

Hahaha, exactly!!!!

I hear mum ALL THE TIME telling other people what a wonderful mum I am , and how lucky she is to have these beautiful grandkids... its all a show, and I hate it....:(

I think it is a deeply personal question and I find it offensive. When pregnant with my second child, an aquaintance asked if the pregnancy was 'planned'. She was also pregnant, with what she said was an 'unplanned' pregnancy, so I figure that is why she asked me. Nevertheless, I was a little offended at the question. We had just had an early miscarriage and the pregnancy was very much planned and wanted.

Regardless, unplanned does not mean unwanted.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I know Rachel, I know.......gosh, I got this too when I first started telling people, wish I hadn't told people till I was ummm say 8.5 months....the worst response was "well, I don't know if I should congratulate you or not, are you happy?", ugh, and for a hormonal pregnant woman I felt like I had just been slapped in the face, and it was from a 'good friend'. Yes, apparantely, there are rules about a) how many kids are deemed appropriate b) your age c) blah blah blah anything else they care to put you in a box about.....so yeah...people, the only appropriate response is 'Congratulations' - anything else don't even bother with thank you very much and if you do I might just start asking you about your sex life/ contraception, etc. If only I was that rude.....

Is this a subject close to my heart?????...ummmm... YES.

So, hugs hun...they're just jealous that your a soon-to-be-mumma of three gorgeous kids!!!

Laurin x

The most common response I got with my first preg was, 'how far are you? Not too late for a termination?' :o :( We got that from friends, my MIL...absolutely disgusting, and if we get it again I will hit the roof, all the pain we've gone through to get here.

PZ - how revolting, if you get any comments like that, their not your friends and I would wipe them off your friendship list. God people are revolting/obnoxious. It's all about them isn't it and putting people in a box and whether THEY think your living YOUR life the way THEY want you to!!!! Grrrr

:crying: PZ Hooley Dooley! :o :hug:

Laurin :hug: Thanks darling! :hug:

My dads response was 'get an abortion'. Nice hey

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My dads response was 'get an abortion'. Nice hey

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People are so mean! And isn't he glad you didn't, Jade is the most gorgeous thing ever!

Yep i was told by a very close friend (or so i thought he was) to "get rid of it" a child would only ruin my life, no because it was an even bigger reason why i would never sleep with him.

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I think you get it no matter how many kids you have or how old you are.

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We had been married for 6 years when we had DD1 and we got a lot of 'Finally!' when we told people. I don't know if that was much better than the 'Don't you own a TV?' we have had for DD2 and this pregnancy.

People are just rude!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, Epacris. That's wonderful news :)

PB - Definately, each and everyone no matter how many we have is a true blessing. Congrats again hun. Omg, cant believe the termination comment. shocking.

Nic - I have had complete stranges say congratulations but not from close friends, get more the OMG your crazy look and then the sarcastic comments. I did get some congrats from some family. hugs isnt it always the way, once bub arrives they all want the first cuddle. I often remind my friend how I was never supported by anyone (apart from on here) and that I wasnt even congratulated. She replies, Ohhh except for me I supported you. Pfffff.

Epacris - Thankyou hun, its funny you know this friend didnt congratulate me when I was pg with Miss V, yet I was thrilled for her when she found out she was pg just 5wks later of me finding out I was. When I told her that I was pg this time, she turned to me and said Ohh she thought she was but turned out she wasnt. Still didnt give a congrats, yet would have expected one from me if she was. Which I would have done anyway. Yet we see each other practically every week, our DH's have become quite good friends, yet she had not once asked me how the pgcy was going or how I was until I didnt answer her calls. Yet I know she isnt all that interested in knowing, so i dont say much. When I do say something the subject changes.
Dont know if you would believe this, but after I had V and was still in hospital my sister stayed and looked after the kids. My DH would go and have dinner with the friends as they would say, Ohhh come over have some dinner and then we can all go and see csab. By the time they would get to the hospital visiting hours were almost over, so lucky if DH would visit for 10mins. DH kept saying that he wasnt there every night, but she would say otherwise. Honestly DH works long hours with our business so didnt expect any visits through the day, but I was so upset about that. Yet as soon as friend had her bub, it was different. The thing was I really needed the support of my DH with everything that was going on with Little V and it was like they kept him busy with them, like my feelings didnt mean anything. I am actually quite worried about how it will turn out this time. I am really hoping they dont interfere with DH coming this time, as with any luck he will be on holidays unless this bub comes early, and he will need to be with the kids.
Sorry abit of a whine, is a bit of a touchy subject for me. lol

Congrats again hun.

Booboo - Thats exactly it, they want you to live the life they want you too, their way. In part I also think jealousy plays apart too. All any of us want is to hear Congratulations, nothing else. hugs

tattoo mamma - What a comment, I actually think my dad would have been over the moon with me expecting no.6, as he always wanted 6kids. hugs hun. dad passed away when DD4 was 9mths old. hugs

Some real shockers girls, far out people are insensitive and downright rude ... And TM :shakehead: horrible
Rach its hard to come up with a good response.... You really want to say something like "well since you're so interested next time I'll send you daily emails about cervical mucus" but when you're actually put on the spot you're a bit too stunned to say anything!

i had this sometimes, and im getting it this time too....sometimes i think people just want juicy gossip! it is very personal and rude! i say stick with your 'thats very personal im not going to answer that' response!!
congrats on your pregnancy!

Holy crud, some of these are so mean! :hug: PZ and TM :(

I suppose I had the opposite when I told my dad I was pregnant with Ianto - I was terrified he'd go off his nut because we conceived slightly before the wedding (apparently a big no-no in my family) but his first reaction was to turn to my mum and say "I told you so!" with a massive grin on his face :p This time, no-one's really reacted aside from asking me how everything's going. I'm not sure they know how to react, but I'm grateful they're not so rude that they ask if I'm happy about it!

I've had the exact reverse with the last two .. a few "about time"s and "I thought you were pregnant"s. Everyone assumed they were planned though ... ridiculously cute boy/girl pair 3 years into a relationship, spaced 2.5 years apart, in my early-mid 30s. Nope, just too fertile.

People do tend to forget I have 3 children, or don't even know I've got 3. I don't look as old as I am - a couple of the midwives thought both of us were younger than we are (we're indoor geeks). I think I'd get more questions if I had three close together, or if I *looked* 35.

:hug: Rach.
Some people live in oblivion and really need to put some filters on.

I get spoke to like I am unable to make a mature adult decision. I get asked 'Do you even know what contraception IS?' 'WHY would you want another?' 'It's not a clown car you know?' etc. No one is ever happy and now people just roll their eyes. FFS this is my 3rd pg not my 43rd!