How do you keep your toddler from running away in the shops?

Ok, I know this sounds like a dumb question but I really need ideas!!

I don't like the look or idea of those harness things cause I would feel like Im treating my child like an animal so can't do that.

She goes ferral in the stroller and is always trying to get out - and has hurt herself trying to do this.

The same happens when I put her in a trolley -I've tried the seat and in the big part of the trolley.

I get her to hold my hand but she twists and pulls till she has red marks on her wrists - so don't want her hurt.

I was traumatised today when she ran away whilst I was in a cheap shop whilst I was in the middle of paying and for 1 whole minute my heart stopped whilst I ran around like a mad woman trying to find her while bawling my eyes out!

i have the same views on the harnes aswell, i still do, but honestly it has saved part of my sanity, i was given a monkey one for dd1, (its like a tedy backpack, but a monkey and straps to there chest.) i have to use it on ds2 who will be 4 very soon, he calls it his monkey tail, and ocasionaly pretends he is a monkey. if i dont have it with us, he is a nightmare, running off touching things, tripping people trying to take off with items, you name it. he is no angel with the monkey but i know were he is, i can tell without looking if he is playing up (feel the pull on the strap)

maybe one of them might help?

I agree about the straps but they also saved me when i have twin toddlers that used to wander i didnt have the backpack harness but a wrist harness i got 2 pink ones the brand is mothers choice they kept me sane.

Harnesses, simply harnesses. When we used to go shopping (4 kids), there was only one way to keep them under control and that was harnesses.

The ones they have now are great, they don't look like harnesses and are quite cute. BG's daughter looks spunky with her monkey one on :) I've seen the wrist ones too, with the spiral lead.

Yep, agreed, it feels wrong to put the harnesses on them but I will definitely be getting one for DS when this bub comes. I won't be able to control a crazy two year old with a little one, so to keep DS safe it'll have to be a harness. I'd rather he be safe and me feel like a meanie than him be taken or run off in the carpark or something.

Before I had kids I never liked the harnesses either. But you know what? When you have a bolter, they are the only thing that works. We always keep it in the bottom of the pram, and if DS2 is out of the pram it goes on. I usually don't have to bother with holding the stap now, I just leave it tucked up in the backpack bit (it is a monkey harness), because he knows now that if he plays up or tries to bolt then I hold the strap and he has no freedom, if he continues to play up he goes straight in the pram.

There are some wrist straps you can buy instead of the harnesses, I used to have one for DD. But the boys never liked the wrist tether, they have never had any problem wearing the backback harness though and love the monkey.

Just subbing so I can get people veiws....

My DD is the same, if im not holding her hand (which she hates) shes gone without a look back. Today feeding the ducks was horrible, she wouldnt hold my hand nicely just kept throwing herself back to have a tanty and eventually banging her head on the concreat :(

Havent wanted to use a harness, but the older she gets the more i think she is gonna need one for her own safety!! But then the other day a freind put as her status on FB "grrr if you cant control your childeren, dont have them! just dont put them on a leesh!!" I was like okay.......well mabey you have been blessed with a nice toddler who doesnt run away!! but that doesnt mean other people cant control their kids, other babies are different!! It really got to me, if thats the view people would have if i did get one, that i couldnt handle my child..... :shakeshead:

I agree with the others re the harnesses, we haven't needed it yet so haven't got one.
What I do is tell him if he doesn't hold my hand he's going in the pram/ trolley/ will be carried and follow through with it. That's usually enough to get him to settle down as he much prefers to walk.
Not sure how much longer it's going to work for though...

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Just subbing so I can get people veiws....

My DD is the same, if im not holding her hand (which she hates) shes gone without a look back. Today feeding the ducks was horrible, she wouldnt hold my hand nicely just kept throwing herself back to have a tanty and eventually banging her head on the concreat :(

Havent wanted to use a harness, but the older she gets the more i think she is gonna need one for her own safety!! But then the other day a freind put as her status on FB "grrr if you cant control your childeren, dont have them! just dont put them on a leesh!!" I was like okay.......well mabey you have been blessed with a nice toddler who doesnt run away!! but that doesnt mean other people cant control their kids, other babies are different!! It really got to me, if thats the view people would have if i did get one, that i couldnt handle my child..... :shakeshead:

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I saw that too, and tried to be a bit diplomatic. But meh. Don't let it get to ya!

Whatever works I say. ATM tho, DS goes in the pram if he won't hold hands. If where going somewhere where walking isn't an option he isn't given the option to start with itms. So he isn't given freedom then having it abruptly taken away if he is getting too full on. We are slowly trying to get him to practice holding hands and he is pretty good til he spots something more interesting. But if he doesn't, He can scream blue murder and have the biggest tantrum strapped in his pram for all I care, he's only in there for his own safety. Crying didn't squish you to the pavement with a car tyre.

I was DEAD AGAINST the toddler leashs UNTIL I was at Fountain Gate one day and this poor woman had a pram with a baby in it and two kids on leash's. One was trying to go one way - the other kids obviously was going in the opposite direction! If she didn't have the toddlers on leash's she'd have lost both of them! Or spent the rest of the arvo screaming at the kids to behave!

I plan on getting DD either a Monkey or a Horse when she is starting to really move, I think its a wise investment now. The child can walk independently but still under parental supervision/control.

JMO though ;)

my rule is hold my hand or either i carry you or you go in a trolley/pram... it works!

DD hasnt "really" been much of a bolter. She listens to me well when we are out so its not much of an issue atm. But that being said, once i get heavily pregnant or have a newborn to look after i will be getting a harness. I too didnt like the look of them but my daughters safety is much more important.

I bought DS1 a strap on panda harness, he has not been very good at wearing eg will park bum on ground and not move!! He is starting to show interest in playing with it so with any luck can try using it again soon.

Our rule is sit in pram or hold hands, if he lets go he gets 3 warnings then put on pram kicking and screaming but he gets over it after 2 mins.

Backpack harness here too, my ds really likes it and loves walking along with it on and will also wear it at home for fun. I've had people make narky comments like "he's not a dog" and my reply is usually "it's not a collar or a choker chain". It's about keeping him safe, to me it in no way implies he's an animal, just an impetuous little boy :)

Why do people feel they are allowed to judge parents and kids in that situation? I never thought I'd use one either but I tell you, taking my 18mth to the Melbourne Aquarium on a Playgroup Victoria play day, with my 6wk old DS, even with the back up of my ILs there, we still would have lost without the leash her amongst the other 12 million children there!

How dare someone judge until they know the whole situation??! That makes me so mad...

Anyway - it gets better. I found 18 to 24mths the hardest with my little bolter... Now that she is 2 and understands a bit more, I can use the threat like the PP said of "yes you can get out of the trolley and walk but you stay where mummy can see you or back in the trolley" or whatever.

She's also old enough to understand danger, so its the same in car parks/near roads - she MUST hold my hand or all sorts of bad things will happen.

Good luck...

I flat out refuse to use a harness, just will not do it. I really dislike watching parents use them, the kids are being pulled and yanked in different directions, IMO boundaries arent really being set (well from what I can tell from friends who use them). (please don't take offence anyone)
We have rules when we go out and both girls know what happens if they break those rules. We turn around, we get back in the car, and will go home. If we get back to the car and they are behaving then we will continue shopping. They know they either hold my hand, Dh's hand or each others hand. If they feel the need to do a runner, then its trolley or stroller (although we dont take that very often anymore). Before giving up, I will bargain with them, normally its a cheesy roll to share, or something similar. But if the tantrum then continues in the trolley then straight to the car. I can always do my shopping another time if need be.

we had one but now have to get a new one coz it got lost grrrrr

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my rule is hold my hand or either i carry you or you go in a trolley/pram... it works!

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It works if your child is feeling compliant!

I use a harness. I'm not ashamed to admit it, and I haven't even gone and got one of the animal ones. There's no bones about it - this is a harness!

I still make Sam go in the pram most of the time when we are out. It's just easier, but he's rapidly out-growing it. He's happy to go in shopping trolleys, but we have to regularly spin it around and make it a lot of fun for him, but shopping is pretty boring.

But, the fact of the matter is, I'm not as mobile as some people. My toddler is 16kg and with my issues, carrying him if he's playing up just isn't an option. He doesn't like to hold our hands, he's Mr Independent. So if we're going somewhere without the pram, he's in the harness. I get that people don't like the way they look, but it only takes a second... I'd rather my child be on the end of a leash than under the wheels of the passing bus he's just decided to run in front of. I'd rather he be on a leash than lost in a shopping centre (especially as his speech is delayed and he can't even tell someone his own name). Now that he's getting more accustomed to the harness, he's quite well behaved with it, but the first few times really were just like walking an excited puppy - him running ahead, dragging behind... But at least I know he's safe.

BW