hoping for a certain gender?

Is it bad to secretly hope for a certain gender?

For examle i secretly hope to be having a girl, but i can tell you honestly that if it were a boy i would not in any way be disappointed!!!

What are your ladies opinions?

Not bad at all.....i really wanted DD2 to be a boy...she wasnt and i then suffered severe gender disappointment over it.

Oh it's completely normal to have a preference one way or the other, and it doens't mean that if you got the opposite that you wouldn't love them any less at all, but sometimes it can be quite severe and you may need some counselling for it.

I think sometimes you prefer one over the other for various reasons - some want a first born son to continue the family name, others want a mother/daughter mother/son relationship etc. I really wanted our first to be a boy, not really sure why - partly because of the firstborn son thing but it wasn't definitively why I wanted a boy.

I think it is fairly natural to have a bit of a preference. I was hoping DD would be a girl but of course, I would have been just as happy if she had been a little boy. At my 20 weeks scan, we were told she was female but I didn't let myself believe it until she was actually born and kept telling everyone I thought it was a boy to protect my own heart a little. I hope that doesn't sound bad... it is hard to explain!

JB i understand what your saying :)
i wont be disappointed in anyway whichever way it decides to go.
im so excited to find out :)

I was hoping my bump was going to be a boy - but that is a long possibly irrational sounding story I wont go into again.

I am not dissapointed I am gaining another princess - just scared.

I'm hoping for both genders. Both have their really strong points. So I'm a bit stuffed cos I'm definitely not having twins.. LOL

Hi
Perfectly normal question I think - when I was pregnant with DD I really wanted a girl, this was mainly because I had just lost my little boy, and could not face the thought of replacing him.

Now I am pregnant again I am very confused as to what I want. I think to be honest I would prefer a girl as it will be cheaper as far as clothes as concerned!!

Anyway good luck with the scan hope all goes well.

I hoped for a boy, mostly because of my relationship with my mother, so when we found out at 18 weeks Jazz was a girl I cried and went through the worst disappointment I'd even felt... i had hoped for a boy, and the fear I felt about having a girl was almost overwhelming... I felt a lot of shame for the disappointment I felt, but you can't help what you feel and hope for. I did truly wonder how I would be able to mother a girl... I know with time I accepted it more, and I remember laying on the operating table during the c/s and thinking "OMG what am I going to do if its a boy?!?!?", so I had done a huge 180! Now i can't imagine it any other way... As long as you are honest with yourself anf let yourself grieve if thats something you need to do, or at least let yourself feel, you'll get through it. You can love your baby :) :hugs: xxxxx

with #1 i hoped secretly for a girl. so much that i convinced myself i was having a boy to avoid dissapointment lol... DD was born!

#2 i hoped for a boy and we decided to find out at the 19 week scan so i didnt do the same thing again lol... DS was born!

I did hope to have a girl first time around, think I just loved the idea of dressing a DD up. Was not at all dissapointed when DS was born, though had convinced myslef it would be a boy as I figured I wouldn't get what I want LOL.

This time would love a girl, but don't care. Love DS to bits & how full on he is etc, already have the clothes etc. We will be finding out this time, so that will be good.

I think it's very normal. I've had a preference each time but never to the point of 'gender disappointment' if it didn't work out that way.

lol, funny story with me and dp.

I have had this motherly instinct that its a boy, but i think thats only because most of the clothes and accessories i have bought are blue and green, nd seeing them in bubs room everyday makes me just assume itll be a boy.

My dp, really wants a girl and has a 100 buck bet going with me that its a girl.

I wouldnt be suprised if it comes out a girl, and ill be stuck with all this blue stuff, lol, but either way, im totally overjoyed, whether it boy or girl.

I think ill just stick with a boy but, in hope that i win this much earned 100 bucks :P :) :D

Leasha I've been going through a very similar thing to you: we haven't found out the sex of our baby but if I knew we have a boy I probably wouldn't be going through the process of exploring WHY I have such a problem with the mother-daughter relationship. I'm certain much of the emotional sh**** I've had to sort through really relates to parenting in general and not mothers & daughters so I'm glad we don't know.
I'm at the point now where I'd be quite happy with either sex - still a slight leaning towards a boy but I actually feel it IS a girl now - we tend to get given what we 'need' in life :) My DP has admitted he'd really love to have a daughter and I can so see him with one :)

Yep I think its perfectly normal. I hoped with our first for a boy and cried so hard when we founf out it was a girl. Of course when she was born I couldn't have wanted anything else.

This time I think either would be nice, I think its another girl which is perfectly fine but a boy would be great too. ;)

Hey its very normal to want a particular sex
I have always wanted a little girl and so has DP. So when we found out we were to have a boy I did feel a fair bit of disappointment. The weirdest thing is, Ive felt it was a girl before I found out and even now I still have a strong girl feeling, so Im very confused!!
Im just going to have to wait for little one to be born to know for certain, but now I will be happy with either :)

I think its normal to want a particular sex. With DS was hoping for a boy. If he had been a girl I would have had alot of disappointment. #2 I hoped for a girl and we found out at the 20 week scan its a girl I don't think I would have been disappointed if it had been a boy but I was hoping for a girl. If we go for #3 I know I want another boy and I think I would be disappointed if it wasn't a boy.

totally normal, i remember when they told me DS was going to be a girl i lived with that from 20weeks till 37 ( when he was born by c/s) and she came out a he it took me 2-3 mths to get over it.

we've just found out that #2 is a boy. I was disappointed as I wanted a little girl.

Today Ifound out that "friends" of ours are expecting their first and it's a girl - just as the wife wanted. I've spent all day sobbing and even now am on the brink of tears :(

I just hope that this feeling will pass and that when #2 is born I'll love him just the same as I do with my first... but I'm worried I won't and won't get over this feeling

You will love him, Kitty. Don't doubt that for an instant.

(((hugs)))

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I'm hoping for both genders. Both have their really strong points. So I'm a bit stuffed cos I'm definitely not having twins.. LOL

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haha, i was the same! Kind of alternating between how wonderful it would be to have blue or a pink.

i hoped for a boy last time and he was i didnt stop me saying i hope its not a girl in labour
im hoping for a girl next time and i'll probably be dissapointed if its a boy but i'll be happy coz i wont have to buy all new clothes lol got a lot of blue stuff xox

you'll love the baby either way dont worry

Hi Kitty, my DH and I were also VERY shocked to find out that we are expecting another Boy (i'm suppost to be keeping that a secret oops). DH has 2 sons from his 1st marriage so this will be boy #4 for him.

We both just sort of expected that it would be a girl so when we were told otherwise we both laughed and said to the US tech "no really what is it?":jawdrop:. I have girls names picked out and still think maybe the US tech got it wrong (yes i'm in a bit of denial).

But i know 95% it will be a boy and it took a week or two but i'm ok with that now. Just give yourself some time for it to sink in. I still get a little bit sad when i look at all the little girls clothing at the shops, but i know that this little man will be loved and i wouldn't change a thing. I also made a mental list of all the positives of having another boy, so maybe that might help.

Take care and give it some time:hug:

kitty, big :hug: . There is a gender disappointment group that you can apply to join, if you want to talk about it more. I'm sure that you'll love your number 2 just as much as you love number 1, but it's easy to say, and talking to people who've been through what you're experiencing can really help.

i though DD1 was a boy, mainly because i was worried due to my relationship with my mum! i was stoked she was a girl, when pregnant the secont time DH and i both secretly wanted girl, and she was!! but would have been happy with either

I have a 10yr old DS and this new bub has been wanted for years now so I'll be happy with either, but in saying that... I know deep down I'd love a girl. I wont at all be dissapointed with a boy but I think there will be an extra twinkle in my eye if I get a girl... dont all mums want a little girl! :)
Funny thing is though heheh Im certain Im having another boy! :)