We lost our Beautiful Angel

Hi I'm only new to this forum.

Chloe Jade- Our IVF Miracle

On Friday 27th Jan I was taken to hospital by ambulance with major cramps that was thought to be a urinary track infection. I was lying there for 4 and a half hrs before a Dr came to see us. I was given meds and sent home with no ultrasound nothing. I rung my Obs who was p*ssed that they didn't do a Ultrasound, so he arranged one. On my way down I felt a pop and a gush of water and when I got out of the car it ran all down my legs. It was my waters breaking with no explanation at 14wks & 5 days.

They did the ultrasound and I had a leak, but there was still a heartbeat.
They rung my Obs who told us which way it could go but cause there was no pain and no blood I was to go on total bed rest for the weekend and I was to come in and see him on Mon and he would ring me over the weekend. My tummy had gone from 102.5 cm to 94 then over the weekend it had gone to 98 so we were hopefull that it may have sealed. The ultrasound today showed there was no amniotic fluid at all but bubs still had a heatbeat which had destroyed us both, to think our baby is perfectly fine except for the fluid. For the rest of the week we had a scan every second day to see what was happening and by the end of the week we knew we had to make a decission. I had trickles of water coming out of me all week.

We will be booked in for me to have labour bought on and I will deliever our 16 week old bub. My DH wanted to have a scan on the day or the day before just to make sure we were making the right choice but I just couldn't face to see our Angel with its heart still beating away and to know what I we were about to go through.

I delivered our Angel on Tues 7th Feb 2006 and she was so beautiful and the nurses were fantastic. We spent over an hour with her and didnt want to let her go but knew we had to. They kept me in over night due to a high temp but I was glad as I felt like she was in the room with me.

To say it has ripped out our hearts, well its to late we are just so numb and cant believe how life can be so cruel. To take 4 yrs to get here and something that no one can control just happens and can happen at anytime. And the thought of going through all this IVF s#!% again just devestates me.

Shazz

Shazz, I am so sorry for your loss.

No one should ever have to go through what you have just experienced. Just know that everyone here at BB will be here for you if you want to vent, cry, scream or yell.

:hug: for you Shazz.

im so sorry..... i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

dont give up..theres still plenty of hope left xxx

Dear shazz,

I am so sorry for your loss. How strong you are to make such a heart wrenching decision.

There is very little I can say to make you feel any better right now. Only that I totally relate to your pain. Please dont bottle anything in. We are all here for you if you needs to talk.

I am thinking about you and sending you so many hugs

Shazz
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter ~Chloe Jade~.
I know you from TLC already. It is so, so heartbreaking after a long and difficult IVF journey.
My heart reaches out to you.I hope and pray the future holds much happiness in regards to more children ~in time.
Draw on your great personal strength as you continue this journey. You are the proud mother of a beautiful daughter. [-o<
:heartbeat: Trish
"~♥~ DD Charlotte Rose 1/9/04 26wks ~♥~"

Oh Shazz - such a sad story. :( It was a horrible thing to go through, and I hope that we can help you in some way on this site.
Welcome to BB

big hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss

xoxo

Shazz sweets,
The people you run into, I'm here for you.
Chloe is has touched your life in so many ways, you will find such wonderful support here!
Bec & Eliza

Hi Shazz,

I am so terribly sorry for your loss of your little girl. :hugs: My heart goes out to you and DH at this terrible time.

I had to give birth to our son when I was 18 weeks pg, we heard his hear beat an hour before and it was so hard to know that no matter what I did he was still going to come and there was no way he would survive. No parents/s to be should have to go through this heartbreaking loss.

Please know we are all here for you if you ever need to chat.

Take Care of yourself and welcome to BB.

Love
Kazz
xoxox

Dear Shazz, my deepest thoughts & sympathy are with you & your DH at this terrible time.

I delivered my second son at 18w5d after suffering two amniotic fluid leaks, one approx 10days before & the second one just 2days before I delivered him. Like you an ultrasound the afternoon before he was delivered showed a perfectly strong little heart beating away madly & bubs wriggling all over the place, but with no fluid our little man stood no chance of his lungs developing enough to keep him alive. Like you after he was born I spent ages with him, held him for about an hour after he was born & then had him again for about 3hrs in the morning before they took him away to do the autopsy. We also had chromosomal testing done to make sure that what happened to him was nothing that would happen again if we were ever to decide to try again for another baby, all tests came back perfectly normal & that in itself was heartbreaking. A huge part of me wished that they had of found something wrong so that that could have been blames instead of a great big question mark as to why it all happened.

If you ever need someone to talk too please feel free to email me anytime you like.

Again huge hugs to you & your husband.

Kirsty

Shazz, I feel for you in your decision and what has happened.
The IVF is hard, and then to have it ripped from you like it was is just soooooo gut wrenching & unfair.
Take care & know that there are people to talk to about anything & everything. M/c are sometimes the hardest things to get out.

Having my own m/c after IVF this week I am very much in the 'frustrated' stage feeling that you go through so much to get pg, only then to get teased with a positive, and then it ripped away.

Shazz,

I'm so sorry for your loss. IVF is a road many of us are familiar with and each victory is so hard won, it is so agonising to think of that being taken away.

Please come back to BB as often as you feel you need to. There are many lovely ladies here who have been through terrible times and they are a marvellous support when you need it.

Love,

Mel

Shazz, Welcome to BB, I am so sorry for your loss, big hugs to you and DH, Chloe will always be a very special little girl close to your hearts.

Take Care

Dee

Shazz,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Take care of yourself and DH. :hugs:

dear shazz

I'm so so sorry for your loss no one should have to go through what you and DH have gone through. Believe me you will heal in time, talk cry rant rave do what ever it takes to let it all go we are all here for you, you can email if you need. Chole Jade will always be with you always.

thinking of you
love and hugs
kath

Shazz, i am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beauitful little girl ~Chloe Jade~.

I know nothing i can say will make you feel any better or help ease your pain but please know that my thoughts are with you and your DH during this difficult time.

Take care Leah

OMG i cannot find the write words to express how deeply sorry i feel for you and your family.. :(

Im so sorry.. sending you out lots of support and hugs..
if you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me or email me.. Im so sorry :(

:cry: I am soo sorry for your loss i just have to reach in and give you a huge hug

There are no words I can say which would do justice to the pain you and DH must be going through. I am so sorry you lost your darling Chloe.
After so much of a struggle through IVF, she was a true miracle and will never be forgotten. I hope you both have the support around you that you need. All of us here would love to help by at least listening. I also hope, that when the time is right, you will have the strength to try again. You both would obviously make woderful parents and deserve a precious baby in your arms.
Let us know how you are doing

i'm am so sorry to hear what you have had to go through and still are....i really feel for you....**HUGE HUGS**

Oh Shazz, I wish I had some magic words that could make you feel better, even if only for a few moments. Im so very sorry to hear of what you and DH have had to endure. No-one should have to go through such pain and loss.

Thinking of you and your beautiful daughter....

I just wanted to say a hugh thankyou from both DH and myself for all your wishes, it mean so much to us.

Shazz.

Shaz

What a tragic loss. So sorry to hear that you had to go through this in the way you both had and at all, its terrible. My husband and i lost twin girls (21 weeks) after 8 years of trying through IVF last year. It was tragic. It does get easier with time.

Please be gentle on yourself and take your time grieving.

We are here for you.

Chris

My heart goes out to you Shazz..... IVF is a rollercoaster that can't be explained.... i know, & to have suffered this turn of events is excrutiating.....

My thoughts are with you & I know your little lady is as frustrated at the waiting as you are.... she will return, stay strong for her. :hugs:

Oh Shazz Honey...There's not much more I can say then I'm sorry for what you are going through. Take care of yourself...lay around, scream, cry and be damn mad! All I can say is that in time you'll start to feel better. Be brave Sweetheart...these things take time. I'm glad you got to spend a few precious moments with your Angel and that the Hospital staff were so kind.
Go and cuddle that big hunk of a man of yours...their bear hugs do a world of good!

Dear Shazz,
Oh honey... I am so sorry for your loss. I do understand what you are going through, as i just recently lost my little angel ~Noah~ at 20weeks gestation due to complications with his bladder and no amniotic fluid.
If you ever need to talk, please feel free to contact me.
My love goes out to you and your family.
Lisa :heartbeat:

Lisa
welcome to BB too .I am so sorry to read of your recent loss of your precious son ~Noah~ .

My heart goes out to you at this sad time.

:heartbeat: Trish

"~♥~ DD Charlotte Rose 1/9/04 26wks born still ~♥~"
IVF Twins due July 2006

Thanks Trish,
I just feel so blessed that i got to have Noah, even for the short time i did have him for. I also feel blessed to have found bellybelly... Bellybelly has been an amazing help for me... especially on the days that i am at work and on my own for sometimes up to 5 hrs... Just me and my thoughts... It can sometimes be real hard, but bellybelly has helped me cope much better.
:heartbeat:
Lisa

Lisa

I am so glad for BB too. It has helped so much on my grief journey and also through IVF. The friends I have made have been a Godsend.

I feel blessed to have had Charlotte too. Charlotte was a surprise natural pregnancy after 12yrs. They didn't know why ? her little heart stopped beating.We have an adopted DS 12.5 too. We started IVF last year as our last hope.

I am like you - I work alone most of the time in between customers (with DH here sometimes and others outside working away) and I would spent hours on here.(Still do :smt018 )

I hit the screen close key when I see him at door.

I hope you find lots of support here. It really helps.

with hope
Trish

"~♥~ DD Charlotte Rose 1/9/04 26wks born still ~♥~"
IVF Twins due July 2006

Lisa: Hope you are doing well today and thinking of you.
Trish and all the ladies in BB are great, without this site, i think women like us would most likely be lost.

Trish: LOL - I used to have to do the same (flick screen off).
Hoping you are doing well also.

You are both in my thoughts along with other lovely ladies in this website also.

Talk care Chris

Thanks Chris. I am getting better by the day, but it is still a long hard journey. Shaz, i hope you're ok hon... my thoughts are with you all the time.
:)
Lisa

Thanks Girls,

I'm getting there, although yesterday I think I saw every pg woman around that there could be, so last night I dropped my bundle again and I think too its the thought of hopefully falling pg again and my waters breaking again.
I have an appointment with my OBS next week to do swab tests and then an appointment at the end of April with my IVF Dr to get the show on the road.

I would be 25 weeks tomorrow and I just miss my little girl.

Shazz.

Hi Shazz,
I know how you're feeling... it is like everyone is pregnant... I gets annoying when i see all these celebs on tv who are as pregnant as i should be now... But, im trying not to let it get to me... it is hard because my sister is also pregnant... and we were both excited to about being pregnant together... I hope all goes well for you at your OB appt. I will be thinking about you... if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me ;)
Lisa