Your thoughts on finding out the sex

I just couldn't wait to find out the sex of my baby. How could I go in there knowing that the information was there to be had and not having it. It's like putting a bit of chocolate in front of me and telling me not to eat it. I just had to know!

Mind you I didn't take it as gospel and knew that there could have been a risk that it was wrong but the doctor told us he thought she was a girl at 12 weeks and then confirmed it at 18. I also had a scan at 36 weeks and they still predicted a girl so I was fairly positive.

My view is that it is still a surprise no matter whether you get it at 18 or 40 weeks. At the birth there is so much else to find out, what he/she looks like, finalizing the name and most importantly having a safe delivery and healthy birth.

We also didn't tell anyone else that we had found out so it was a very special secret that only the two of us shared and we felt that our bond with her was made all the more special because she wasn't an 'IT'.

I know people feel differently about it so what's your view?
Have you found out with one and not the other?
Would you do it differently next time?

From the beginning I thought I was having a boy.
At the 12 weeks ultrasound I asked the sonagrapher if she could tell what gender it was, and she ummed and ahhed and said it was too early to tell, but eventually gave in and said it could possibly be a boy!
All of this was confirmed at the 18 week ultrasound, and after seeing his little 'boy bits' on the screen, there was absolutely NO mistsking what sex he was.
It was great to find out for sure, seeing as since the beginning of my PG we had been referring to him as Little Pup... just assuming he was male, so it was special to find out that we were right!
I also like knowing the gender in advance so I had more options when buying clothing and items for his nursery, I just like to be prepared I guess... It was also nice to be able to concentrate on just boys names as well.
I don't think I could ever wait until me child was born to find out its sex... I am just too impatient, and way too excited! I was DYING to find out Aidyns sex from the very day I got a BFP!

Hi Ms Lee

We didn't want to know with Kameron but as soon as the ultrasound had started it was right on the geniltalia so it was a bit hard to miss !! We did not tell family though in case it was wrong although i went on to have another 5 ultrasounds (7 in total) and was told a boy all the way thru it.

With Lachlan we did want to know in case I had to start looking at girl things to buy :) and we were pretty confident it was a boy since the willy was on the u/sound video as well and we told the whole family.

Love :hbeat:

ms lee, i am with you, it is a surprise no matter what stage you dind out.

we are definately finfing out. we are planners and want to know what colours to do the nursery, and what clothes to buy etc.. we dont want to end up having everything in neutral colours because it is a bit boring.

I really think it is a boy, and DH is hopeful it is a boy. We have all girls in my family, so would be great, but we are happy with whatever comes along. I am just dying to find out!!!

I didn't find out with my first two, and it's a great surprise at the end, it adds to all the emotion. This one I did find out and I am happy I did. It make this pregnancy a little different than the other two.

I can just imagine everyone when they find out I am having another girl... they'll all be like "Another girl!!". I am not looking forward to it!! I can imagine me telling them to stick it! It's bad enough that you wish for a sex and don't get it and then you have to put up with everyones comments! Oppps I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here.

But yeah... happy I found out this time, it'll give me more preparation time, and I'll get more input in the name this time around :)

Tanya

Our thoughts on finding out seem to have changed with the number of pg's we've had. With the 1st pg we thought that we'd find out but tell everyone that we didn't know as everyone was saying 'oh you're not going to find out the sex are you?!'. 2nd pg we thought we'd find out and tell only a few people. This time I'm finding that after losing our other babies I don't actually care what people think of us finding out the sex. I want to know as much about this baby as possible and I'm not going to worry about trying to hide what gender the baby is from other people if we do get to find out.

We found out with Nicholas that he was going to be a boy and whne I get pregnant with the next one we will definitley found out again too. As you have said, Ms it is a suprise no matter whether you find out or not.

We found out with Kimberley and will ask again this time. Not really good at waiting. Last time we did not tell anyone well I did one close friend and that was it. :)

I'm one who didn't want to find out, but when we went for our ultrasound, we had decided to find out. We arrived 20-30 mins late I think, after driving on a very bumpy highway, then they made me wait about another 20 mins. Since I was standing at the desk ready to ask for another appointment they didnt bother to ask me to change and the women only took a few minutes to do the u/s. So we never found out.

I'm thinking of finding out next time. Not sure yet??

Nic

We aren't finding out. Not for any real reason but we don't see any need to. The little one will be here soon and we will know then. It is nice to have a little surprise at the end. We aren't the sort to paint the nursery pink or blue, just nice neutral tones. I will be buying mostly jumpsuits for the little one to wear which are gender neutral. We shall just wait and see.

I am in total agreeance with you Ms Lee! It is still a surprise no matter when you find out. I REALLY want to know but, my husband doesn't :(

The hospital has a policy where if one doesn't want to find out, the other isn't allowed to know. I think it is a totally stupid policy!

We just had our ultrasound today. I asked the sonographer if he would write it down on a piece of paper so that we could look at it on a special occasion and he refused. No reason given.

I have to go for another ultrasound in a few weeks. I might try to go along without DH and ask them to tell me the sex. Surely if he is not there, they can't argue with me about finding out?? I can just tell a fib and say the father isn't in the picture. Neil will be none the wiser that I know and then I can "plan" my spending a little more around the sex (keeping it all a secret though!). Or do you think that is being too devious and dishonest with Neil? He was happy for me to find out and not tell him. It's just that the sonographer wasn't prepared for only one of us to know. Hmmm.....

Otherwise, I guess I will just have to wait until the birth. As much as I would like to know, it's not a matter of life and death or anything. It's the first grandbaby on my side so the child is going to be spoiled rotten! I already have SO much bought for me. I will really only have to buy the pram and the car seat. I am sure clothes and stuff will be given to me after the birth and Neil has told me that some of the baby bonus can be for me to go on a gender-specific shopping spree.

I am just not a patient person!

Deb, I reckon that as Neil is okay with you knowing you should go for it LOL ;)

Most of you are as impatient as me :smt081 . Good on you morv that patience will come in handy with a child.

Hey bielee, I agree with angel if Neil doesn't mind then do it and if you do slip up and say he or she on the odd occasion then just purposefully say the other sex just as often, he won't know...hopefully! :D

we dont want to find out the sex, but i was sooooo very tempted with joshua, when the offer is there it does sound so very tempting!

lol
Lesley

You have to find out Lesley !! That way I know what pile of clothes to give you LMAO.

Love :hbeat:

We were totally undecided, one week we wanted to find out the next we didn't!

On the day of our u/s I asked Aaron what he thought & he said he'd leave it up to me. So we went in & almost straight away the sonographer asked if he could see anything did we want to know. I looked at Aaron & he shrugged, I said nah, yeah ok we want to know. The sonographer said, ok its a boy, there's his penis, there's his scrotum. I couldn't tell though :lol: After that we saw his bits about 4 or 5 times.

In a way it's good for us cos MIL has plenty of time to get used to the idea - she wanted a girl.

I found out with my first that i was having a boy. I dont regret knowing as i am so impatient, i regret telling people. My hubby has a big mouth so this time around if i have the opportunity to find out i will but not tell anyone and say they couldnt see anything as yet. The reason i dont want to tell this time is that when everyone knew we were having a boy and then we had chosen a name beforehand it took all the suprise out of anyone being told when he was born, as they already knew everything about him.

I didn't find out with my first two. Not that I didn't want to, they just couldn't see. I found out at around 17 weeks with Noah that he was a boy and I found out at 19 weeks that this babe is a girl. I really needed to know with Noah and I'm sure that it helped me to accept that I was having another boy as I desperately wanted a girl. This time around I wanted to know but it was not a need. I truely thought that I was having a boy so we were pleasently surprised when it turned out to be a girl. This will give me plenty of time to buy all things girly :D

Take care
Trish

I agree Serendipity. I don't like knowing what my friend's are having, it takes all the excitement away, especially when you know the name aswell. It's nice to leave something for friend's and family to be surprised about.

Hi there, we also changed our minds on and off! When it came to the crunch, we didn't find out as I was having a lot of problems just with remaining pregnant so didn't want to know the sex in case we lost him, I felt it might have been harder for me to deal with if I knew the sex.

We won't be finding out if there is a next time eithor.

We tried to find out with both our PGs but my lovely babies wouldnt move in the right place and they couldnt tell anything, but my u/s guy did say that he thought #1 was a girl but wasnt sure.

As we have 2 girls now, we have decided to find out the sex again this time, but knowing how nice my babies are, he/she may be mean and not let them see the right spot.

It also doesnt help that my youngest daughters teacher is PG now and has just found out that she is having a boy, so now my daughter thinks that we have to find out too, but she did say that if its a boy that we should just leave it at the hospital. LOL!

If I am having a girl, I have everything that I will ever need, as I have kept everything from the girls but if its a boy, we are in serious trouble.

Oh well, fingers crossed this little one moves the right way for us on the 23rd of November. Gut feeling is that we are having another girl.

lets see if I am right.

I'm not sure if i should find out or not. Alot of people have been telling me that it isn't 100% and also my partners parents don't want to know.
Please help me! :smt102

Hey Kaza,

There are always going to be people around you telling you what you should and shouldn't do when it comes to decisions like this, so I really think it comes down to what you and your partner want to do. Have you had a talk about it?

They don't always get the gender right, I think there have been a few people here on BB who have been surprised by the little boy/girl they got in the end. But in the end it comes down to what you feel is right for you. Just don't go painting the nursery pink or buying up big on frilly dresses before the baby's born if they tell you it's going to be a girl ROFL ;)

Hi Ms Lee,

I couldn't wait to find out with my 1st, if they could've also shown me exactly what she'd look like and what sort of personality she'd have I would've found all that out too! I was so excited and couldn't bear the thought of having no idea what 'it' was inside me and for some reason found it easier to bond with her after I found out. Why not find out as much as you can?

IMO having a your own amazing baby finally in your arms is more than enough of a surprise for me.

This time I plan to find out also, but more bc dh is really hoping for a boy (he has 2 dds atm)

Thanks Angel,
We have talked about it and i think we will find out.
I promise i will post it in this chat.
:)

I knew the day i was pregnant that i was pregnant and that he was a boy! LOL- mothers instinct. I wanted to find out only to confirm to everyone that i was right!! hehehe

I think for the next one i will wait until the birth because if i have a girl ppl will go crazy with gifts of clothes anyway! I agree that it is a suprise whenever you find out too!

I found out with my first that I was having a boy. We figured it will be a surprise now or when it's born so why not now. It's surprising how many people guessed we were having a boy by the way I was carrying. With this one I want to wait but DH wants to know. So what we will do is that he will fing out and not tell me but if a girl will buy something pink so at least she will have one thing until I can do more shopping.

Akimum

I didn't want ton know - I had this image of the birth in my head of the doctor going "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" I thought it would be a lovely surprise. DH however was sooooooooo keen to know.. but every ultrasound the sneaky Snowmonkey was wrapping the umbilical cord around its bits so by week twenty-something we had decided that it was just destiny and we're not supposed to know. Then I had another u/s and DH blurted out "Can you see what it is? Can you see?" and I just shouted "No! I don't want to know". So at the end the doc sent me out of the room and told DH. #-o I was quite annoyed and when DH came out of the room I looked at him and he said "I don't know what to do with the information". I looked at him and didn't know if I should ask or not. I said "It's not what you thought it would be?" (he thought it was a girl) and he shook his head. I said "It's a boy?" and he nodded and then I cried and cried.. I was so happy (I had thought it was a boy but had no preference really). Even though I hadn't wanted to know, finding out was so lovely! I also thought we wouldn't tell people but DH really wanted to, so we called our parents and told them.

I hope that next time round I will get my will and we won't find out. I really would like to leave it a surprise, although it is fabulous knowing that it will be a boy and being able to refer to the baby as "him". I don't call him by his name though - I keep on referring to him as the Snowmonkey - just in case they got it wrong.

I only had 1 ultrasound with my first, my insticnct said girl and I was right. When I was preg with 2nd I didn't want to know, I even had an amnio and they had the sex on record but we resisted temptation. I thought boy and I was right. The thrid I thought girl, didn't bother to find out and again I was right.

With my 4th I was sure a boy, but my view was tainted I had seen a psychic and a palmist and both said a boy, so I think I took that on board, we didn't bother to ask what we were having and at 38 weeks I had an ultrasound and we thought we saw boy bits. When Arron said It's a girl, I asked are You sure!

I haven't wanted to know in any of my pregnancies. I like Arron getting to say "IT'S a....". That's his job. I also knew if Arron knew everyone would know.

I think every one should do what they want to. My Brother new he was getting a daughter, I just told him not to tell me what he was getting, I didn't want the surprise spoiled. Although some things gave clues so we sort of knew, especially when they picked the only name we liked, but we were first cab off the rank and had first dibs. They didn't mind, they got a niece called Jemma and a daughter called Olivia, which suits her and was her first word.
Cheers Michelle

I thought I wanted to know - my scan was yesterday. But I told the songrapher no, and after that, no amount of persuading would get him to change his mind - he even tried the "I haven't actually had a closer look" - yeah right!
But the point is, now that I know I can't find out, I'm completely OK with it,a nd kinda happy I didn't find out. I dont think it will be less of a surprise, but it will be nice finding out on the big day!
I reckon go with what feels right - and I'm pleased now I dont know.
Fi