15 weeks and buns gone :(

Water broke, went into labor pains and had my 15 week old baby boy yesterday morning. Then bled out and nearly died in hospital. I'm at home today after my blood count came back ok and they managed to stop the bleeding for 12 hours.

Why do they need to look like babies?! He had 10 little fingers and 10 little toes on little arms and legs and little ribs and a little button nose...he was so warm then went so cold.

My little man's gone...

How do I face work Monday and not kill the first stupid effin customer that thinks I give a damn about their blinking books and not start screaming? How do I go out and smile and tell people 'Im good thanks" when they are how you are when you really want to say well Im actually suprised Im even here and my dead son is buried in the backyard thanks for asking...

oh hun my heart is breaking for you :hug:
i have no words except that i am so so sorry
fly free with the angel sweet little dylan

I am so sorry for your loss hun, please take care of yourself.

Ohh sweety, I am so very sorry for your loss. If you arent up to going back to work come Monday, dont go. Give yourself time to grieve, you have been thru so much.
I am so surprised the hospital let you go home. Have they at least given you a councilor to talk to. I hope they have done something to help you thru this difficult time.
I only know too well how hard it is. Please take care of yourself huni, and know that we are here for you when you need it.

Lots of hugs, and may your RIP little Angel Dylan. Hugs

so sorry for your loss.

Take it easy and look after yourself, surround yourself with love and take as long to greive as you need.

Fly free Little Dylan

I am so sorry :hug:

I totally agree with feeb, look after yourself and take it easy.

I love the name you picked for him, RIP Dylan.

:hug: Im so sorry again hun :hug:

Take some time to grieve and if you need to yell then yell! Lve to you all :hug: xxx

I am so sorry that your little boy left far, far too soon :hug: I hope that the return to work isn't hard on you and that you are surrounded by loads of love and support.

Sweetie... I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Fly free little Dylan - look after your mummy and give her the strength she needs to deal with losing you.

Please take it easy on yourself, hun - take time off work if you need to. I know I would be too heartbroken to face going to work so soon.
*big hugs* My thoughts are with you.

How heartbreaking for you - I can't imagine. God bless you and your perfect angel - I wish you peace and rest. Take care.

Oh Hunn im so so verry sorry about your loss of your DS , i definently dont think you should go to work on monday hun if your not ready give urself time to grieve xxx my thoughts and prayers r with you

I have no leave at work to take, not that I really care at the moment. Hospital didn't do anything I went there with cramping, bleeding and told them I think my waters broke and I got sent home with panadene fort and told to go home, went home, slept for an hour then woke up in a pool of blood and went to the toilet and there was bubs still attached to me... I screamed for DP, he came running and said whats wrong, I said Im not pregnant anymore, he asked how and I opened the door and said because Im holding our dead baby... he was devistated. I wasn't given any counselling support just a booklet on "early pregnancy, when things go wrong" pretty much gives you a definition of the different types of miscarriage then says you didn't do anything wrong and 95% of women have a healthy baby next time around. That's all, I'm young so I "shouldn't be worried I have plenty time"

That's awful, you have been through a major trauma they should be offering you grief counselling or somehting more than what they have.
Just remember you have everyone here at BB.

O hun, i am very sorry for your loss.
My heart broke when i read your post, please know you are not alone, we are all here for you.
Dylan is such a beautiful name.
Fly free little one.

--------------------------------------------------------
:angel: 1998 11 weeks playing with the angels in heaven
:angel: 2009 6.2 weeks daddy misses u deeply

I'm so sorry that precious Dylan couldn't stay. :hug: Take some time off work if you need, perhaps you can go for a walk or visit a plant nursery and maybe think about if you want to plant a tree or buy a garden ornament to help you remember your son. xo

CM I am so sorry that your time with him was so short.

Rest peacefully sweet baby Dylan x

Thinking of you.

Oh huni ... im so with the other ladies here please dont go to work monday if you dont want to ... you and you partner need to grieve and yell and scream and cry if need be. Work yes it is money but your health is soooo more important .....

Oh hun, I am so very sorry for your loss :hug:

I am so sorry for your loss...and what an awful experience to receive from the hospital. Please look after yourself and take it easy. Would you be eligible for compassionate leave or something similar if you don't have any other leave available to take? After what you have gone through I don't think anyone would expect you to turn up at work on Monday morning...you do need time to grieve and come to terms with what has happened, without having to deal with work related issues as well.

Sending cyber-hugs and best wishes.

Oh no :( I'm so sorry for your loss, and the awful treatment you were given, thats just inexcusable.

Please be gentle with yourself.
xxxx

Just popping in to give you more hugs :hug:.

I'm sorry the hospital were no help or support to you :(.

I am so so sorry for your loss

Take care - :hug:

Fly high and free little Dylan

xxoo

Oh I am so so sorry, the hospital has not done the right thing.
You will need to take some time to grieve, I know that you are worried about your pay but perhaps your work has grievance leave, I am sure once you let them know what happened they will support you and give you some time.
May he rest in peace.
XXX
:hug:

Ohh huni, I am so shocked that you were treated that way. You have been thru a traumatic time. We are all here for you. Please please look after yourself. :hug:

Oh Lauren, how awful for you. What you have been through is very traumatic and you must stop and grieve. I am sure that your work would let you have time off if you let them know. I can't believe the hospital either. I am so so sorry for your family's loss of Dylan.

I am so sorry for the loss of your son :(

I am so sorry for the loss of Dylan :(
Life can really be unfair some times.

I think you should write a letter to the hospital about the treatment you received, because it seemed that they did not treat you the way they should have.

Please take care.

xx

oh hun, I'm so so sorry xoxoxo

I'm so sorry your precious little one passed away :hug:

CM, I am so sorry for your loss, and the pain you are experiencing :hug:

Fly free Dylan, little angel taken too soon. Watch over your mummy and daddy always x

What you have been through is just horrific and I can't even begin to imagine your pain. Lots of hugs.xox

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry :cry: :hug:

I second Misty - when you feel strong enough, maybe you should write and complain to the hospital, their standard of 'care' was disgusting :hug:

:grouphug:

Oh CM, I am devastated to read this news...my heart is breaking for you :( :(

You know what? Bugger work. You need to really take care of yourself right now babe. Can I gently suggest both you and DP get some counselling if you feel you need it. You have not only lost your son, but the way you lost him is extremely traumatic :comfort:

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find a way to take some time off - you need to take care of yourself physically and emotionally.

CM im sorry to hear of this sad news. Fly free Dylan and forever look over your loving family

:hug: babe

Thanks all, according to a girl at work my boss actually has a heart and was very freaked out. I told him I wasn't coming into work and he said that I have no leave so I told him I was laying in a pool of blood with my dead baby on the floor waiting for DP to come home to take me to the hospital. Then he rung later to see how I was (DP needs someone to blame so he is blaming my boss for giving me the flu and nothing I can say will change his mind right now) and DP said well I just had to bury my son in the yard, CM is in hospital fighting for her effing life and may die/need a hysterectomy and theres nothing DP could do, kinda shut the boss up pretty quick so Im hoping he won't be an absolute evil sod to me when I do show up. We are in the middle of rush and understaffed because he 'forgot' to ring staff then no one was available... not my problem!

My tumbley hurts today :( but at least I no longer resemble part-hulk with my ballooned up arm (they filled my arm instead of my vein with saline) so that's always a good thing...

I stupidly asked my DP to take a picture of Dylan before burying him, I don't know why I just didn't want to forget him I guess... then I stupidly looked at the pic today... so now I'm not so great... self-induced idiocity...

Hun, it's not idiocity, it's grief :comfort:

Maybe not today, but in the future you will cherish that photo of your son.

:

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Hospital didn't do anything I went there with cramping, bleeding and told them I think my waters broke and I got sent home with panadene fort and told to go home, went home, slept for an hour then woke up in a pool of blood and went to the toilet and there was bubs still attached to me... I screamed for DP, he came running and said whats wrong, I said Im not pregnant anymore, he asked how and I opened the door and said because Im holding our dead baby... he was devistated. I wasn't given any counselling support just a booklet on "early pregnancy, when things go wrong" pretty much gives you a definition of the different types of miscarriage then says you didn't do anything wrong and 95% of women have a healthy baby next time around. That's all, I'm young so I "shouldn't be worried I have plenty time"

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:( :hug: I'm really sorry, that should not have happened to you. :hug:

I'm disgusted in the hospital

Oh sweetheart, I am so very sorry you have lost your little boy Dylan :hug: May he always watch over his mummy and daddy. I am so glad you took his little picture, I know you will treasure it for the rest of your life, in time. I often look at Joshua's photos, I just feel so close to him then.
Please, please seek some support hun, you will need it. When I had my own loss at 20 weeks, I was numb for a while and then forced myself to go to SANDS, and that was such a positive step forward. I also started seeing a psychologist a month or so after I lost Joshua and still see her today. I think you might be able to see a free councillor through Medicare, but I'm not sure.
Take care hun, thinking of you and your partner.
Beata xxx

I'm so sorry for you that you had to go through that, nobody should ever have to go through anything as traumatic as that. Words escape me, but I just want you to know that we are all thinking of you. :grouphug: