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my poor vagina :( shes just not looking how she used too, to be honest i cant remember what she did or what she should look like anymore.
i find it a little sad that i deem her 'broken' 'unfixable' .
she wasnt right after DD1's birth i guess not really any worse after DD2's birth, just.... not any better (not that i thoought she would be) im even finding DH seeing me embarassing now, it doesnt bother him, just me, surely im not the only one 'broken'
how do others deal with this issue???
I used to get quite upset about it too. I was at the point of wanting corrective surgery but too embarrassed to see a Dr about it.
Lately though i haven't thought about it.
:hug: Tis not something I tend to mention on a public forum, but babe, I hear you. xo
i wouldnt normally either nelle, but i figured i cant be the only one feeling like this!
tinks i do too, but wont because i couldnt go through the pain again
I kno wat you mean hun i want my old one back:(
Me too. I know exactly how you feel.
:hug: it's hard to get used to and I don't look at mine near as much as I used to (not that it was very often to begin with LOL) but I don't think there would be a single woman who has had a vaginal birth that can truly say her vagina is 100% the same as it was before she gave birth. even if you didn't tear it still changes and i think if women don't think it has, it would be more than likely due to them not quite being able to remember exactly what it looked like before kwim? I don't see it as being broken or unfixable, but more like it's a rose in full bloom now instead of a bud in half bloom.
Lol at your rose analogy Sherie! :rofl: How about wonky bloom?
love it too sherie!! nelle mine more than wonky!
its just a pity its one of those things women arnt comfortable talking about
I love it too. I think mine is how a rose looks just before it's about to lose all its petals, shrivel up and die :rofl: Sorry that is TMI :redface::
SO please explain this to me.
NOTE even though I havent had a vaginal birth (have been in labour 3 times) my ja ja aint what she use to be...and I was was wondering if gravity was to blame :think: tucking it in just aint the way to go IFYKWIM
I'd say probably the extra blood flow during pregnancy Mazzie? Probably same with breasts too, a lot is the stretching during pregnancy.
Yep Maz, just being pg can do damage to your pelvic floor and that's what holds it all in nice and neat and pretty ;) because of the weight of the baby, so yeah, that and gravity. Plus I'll be totally honest and say that I use the rose analogy because it really does look more open now than what it ever did, heck I even have a lovely little skin tag that I would dearly love to have taken off, but the thought of having that done scares me more than labour ever did :rofl:
ETA - and age isn't kind to the old vag either - I remember reading years ago an article in cleo or cosmo about women as they age and how their body changes and the vag does change as we get older too - not unlike men as they age and their scrote changes too. They had a series of pictures showing it too.
sherie i hve a skin tag too, but like you cant bare the thought of more pain down there!! it can stay there for now!
i must be one of the lucky ones - cause i really dont think mine has changed! unless of course like Trillian said maybe i just don't remember what it looked like before which is possible - but so far im still happy with the way it looks! ;) - but who knows what will happen after baby number 2! but in saying that i think i would rather something be different down there than my other problem :redface:
I really can't comment as mine is still perfect as i had 2 c/s :p
I have seen many vaginal rejuvenations on Dr. 90210 and they are quite common surgeries they say.
Some are horrific though. I can understand why they get them done.
I'd get mine done for sure. But then again, i might be addicted to plastic surgery!
Great analogy!!:
I have both a rose in full bloom and wonky as well!!:rofl: ...I wonder how it will look after this bub it's a changing already:think::hide::
I have pretty good pelvic floor muscles (probably the only decent muscles I have! :lol:), so perhaps I'm not quite at the stage of full bloom being my issue, but definitely the wonkiness is disconcerting. I guess by the time I got to hospital after having #2 they had other priorities, plus there's probably a difference swelling-wise with time I guess?
Yep...Age certainly does make a difference.
PMSL at the scrotums.....yes I must say having cougared Jed I have seen a change in the man over the last few years :ROFL:
I think mine changed after WIlhelm....I carried extremely low and the pressure from 6 months in the pg onwards...I remember trying to us a tampoon afterwards and having thinking i have to open the curtains and make sure they dont get in the way ;)..to uncomfortable..blah..so no more tampoons from that day
Sadly I have to still get surgery down there (back end) in the future...specialist appointment 9th october
Ahhh yeah, I get what you mean. after my epi with #1, I had an area that looked like a corner almost, from where it had been stitched, so one side of it was rounded and the other had this corner thing happening, but by the time I had #2, it sort of fixed itself. it must have stretched it just the right way to make it better again LOL.
Skin tags are easily removed. All they did with mine was tie a string around it and it fell off naturally. Didn't hurt at all, just felt a little 'pinchy' for the first day or so.
I know, but it still scares me
I hear ya. TBH I think its a 2nd and further kid that really makes you notice. I was ok with my vajayjay after #1 but by #3 - holy moly lol It isnt disfigured but it certainly isnt the girlish youthful one I had 5yrs ago. Colour changes and bits here and there. I also have an issue with leftover hymen (yeah who'd have thought?) that becomes engorged with blood when Im past about 16wks pregnant and hangs out, looks like Im about to have a puppy or something tail first (not quite on such a large scale though :rofl:) The OB offered to remove it after #2 but it disappears when Im not pregnant unless Im in dire need of #2's. Im in two minds about whether to have it removed anyway because its a pit off-putting esp in regards to another pregnancy.
I have decided Im going to look at it as so worth it though, having 3 little dudes in my life and the amazing experience of giving birth. It still works the same and in the end men arent down there to admire the view now are they ;)
I don't think I have a point of reference either - I didn't spend that much time looking at it before..or after. Everything works fine that's all that matter to me.:
I feel the same.
thats a great point lu, maybe i should just be greatful that it works ;):
I could have written your post. Mine is also completely ruined - nothing like it was before. This came as a great shock to me as I had absolutely no idea it would be this bad. I felt sort of ripped off, as when I tentatively asked women I knew who had had babies (like my mum, best friend etc) if your vagina went back to normal, they said "Of course it does"! But AFTER i gave birth, they gave me variations on thier previous statements. It's like it's some sort of well kept secret, only discussed amongst women who have experienced it.
I personally haven't quite come to terms with it. I toy with the idea of attmepting to have it fixed at some point in the next few years. I don't care what it looks like so much, I just want it to be less of a problem and more functional.