reallyreally scared

Im 24 single and pregnant
Im reallyreally scared about being pregnant and being a mum alone, ive been crying almost non stop for days and even now i can't see the computer screen through my tears
i know who the father is and he knows that I'm having his baby . he says he wants nothing to do with it. over and over the other day he was saying i should get an abortion. as if my reasons for keeping the baby are stupid. I can't kill something that is alive inside me I dont think im irrational. or stupid. he thinks the child will be soo messed up because it wont have a dad and because im mentally ill, like im sub human .

my eyes sting my nose stings i dont know if i make sense i cant eat cause i want to vomit Im so tired Im scared
Im scared
really really scared

Do you have a close frined or family member you can talk to?If you don't keep positing in here as everyone here is so lovely and will send you heaps of cyber support.

well you have come to the right place. There is so many wonderful people here that will able to give you support or answer any of your questions you have.

As megiemoppit suggested do you have friends or family members that can support you?

thanks for replying
I'm still crying even after a long sleep
I have family and friends but haven't told many because its only few weeks along.
mum and dad know. I live with them I don't know whats going to happen with accomodation there's no room for a baby here

:hug: Im so sorry to hear you are being put through this! Your child will NOT be messed up, he/she obiously have a loving, wonderful mother already!
Try your hardest not to doubt yourself or let him convince you of such bull!

You will find great support here and maybe check in your town if there are any groups with singl mummies?

:comfort:Awww Hun Im so sorry your feeling like this. it is really hard babe but you no what when you see that little babies face it will all be worth the struggle your having now.
i went through the same thing xp left me in the early days when i was pregnant and told me i should have an abortion too and wen i didnt he left.. but you no what its the best decison i have ever made in my life!, As hard as it is try and enjoy every moment it is so special, i think the early days are the hardest with finding out and the morning sickness it will get better i promise.

If you ever need any support someone to talk to im always here babe i know how hard it can be xx chin up hun and Congragulations on your pregnancy:hug:

Might be a good idea to stay away from this guy for awhile ok? He is doing nothing for you right now. don't worry about accom right now. Babies don't take up much room in the early days xoxoxoxo

Kids get more messed up by twat fathers than absent ones..

Come on in here any old time you like.

Oh i forgot to Add but Lulu reminded me

I live with my parents still and i wouldnt have had it any other way seriously especially in the early days like lulu said they dont take up much room and your parents will love having your little bub around im sure( i felt the exact same once i found out that i would be a nuisance and that there wouldnt be much room etc) trust me. My parents often we are so lucky they absolutly adore DD we only live in a 3 bdr house with 6 but you make it work hun they say they wouldnt have it any other way and im sure your parents will be fine babe

pretty much what all the other girls have said. And it might be worth while babe to join one of the private support groups, such as the Depression & Anxiety one. It's fantastic and there are alot of women in there who will welcome you with open arms and it will help just incase you want to remain anonymous if the father of your baby is going to go through the boards etc... :hug:

Sweetie Im 19 a single mum of one and expecting triplets and Im doing it so you can too. Im not gonna lie its hard. I live with my grandparents and soon itll be 7 of us in a 3 bedroom house but its just til Im on my feet with the girls. They love it and my son benefits from it and you know what? He hasnt seen his dad in months. Hell his dad doesnt even live in the same state and my son is fine. He knows he has family that love him and that look after him and thats all a child needs. Aiden and I share a room (the other room is for the girls nursery) and we manage without falling all over each other :)
You ever need to talk PM me darl

hey hun i was in an abusive relationship and left my ex when DD was 2 weeks old and i loooove being single!!! i suffered from PND and went to a mother baby unit for 4 weeks and have had family and friends to support me and u will be fine aslong as u have supportive ppl around, all the BB girls are fantastic too, join a belly buddies group too.

do you have any friends who have kids? ive moved in with my friend whos partner works away and her daughter is 1 yr old and its been great not just for me but for DD to socialise

hey honey, just like everyone has said here it will be great!

i just turned 23 in august and have always known that would be doing this on my own. you are already being so so brave! my ex has been being a 'spineless worm' as my mum's fabulous friend said, and that sounds as though it perfectly describes the father of your gorgeous wee satsuma too. to tell you to have an abortion is just plain wrong. never let anyone pressure you into doing that because even when you do decide it for yourself its really b***** hard. i've done it once and believe me, never again. the only reason i knew i'd get through it was because when i found out that i was pregnant my first thought was 'this isn't right', and even then i almost didn't do it.

already you are showing everyone here that you are an incredibly loving and caring person and will make a wonderful mum! and don't feel bad about living with your parents. i was panicking about what i was going to do and where i was going to live and so when i finally told my family at about 8-9 weeks (i think you are AMAZING for having done it already!) mum told me that i would come and live with her. so now i am. and it's great! and my family are all really excited about baby!

my ex asked me to live with him (as we'd actually broken up when i got pregnant.. yes. i know. bad bad bad!) as a flatmate, but i said no. and that was because i foresaw all the bs he would put me through, and has done especially in the last few months.

honey don't feel bad about crying non-stop, it's probably compounded by hormones and exhaustion. i still have days that i can't get out of bed, and can't study or post or anything through the tears. it is tough having someone making your life miserable. but to be honest, you'd be amazed as to how strong you really are. and mental illness isn't endless. there are ways to get around it. it can take time, but you'll get there. and you'll have someone to be there with you who you will love so so much! i couldn't live without my bump ever again. he's great.

but do go for all the support you can find. you deserve it. am often here if you want to chat. you can private message me too. have found a free online solitaire game that is very calming lol. or if i can't sleep i listen to music on a teeny radio with headphones, and that can be really soothing too. just cut the b****** loose i say. and remember you have friends here too.

love liv x

You can do this - and you can do it well!
Keep coming in here for support, and maybe contact your local health service for a single mums group/young mums group ( i think they class under 25 as 'young' - go figure! :) ).

It might be worth going to Centrelink to see what support you can get financially and they also might be able to hook you up with any counselling you feel you may need.

Good luck - you are more capable then you know

xx

I want to say think you for everything guys , you are really nice here . realyreally nice.

I have been reading some pregnancy books namely the girlfriends guide to pregnancy, and what to expect when your expecting. I'm still scare about everything especially birth at the moment it seems so scary I dont want to do it because im afraid i'll hate the baby for making me hurt so much. I don't want to hate the baby. second is money (or lack of it) .

I still don't like the thought of being alone (with out a bf) because ive usually had one since i turned 17 and when i didnt i was surrounded with guys who wanted to see me. I dont think of my self as much of a catch : im over weight, pale, hairy, and mentally ill. I think i have pretty face most of the time and big boobs they must have liked the boobs. It will be strange not having guys want to have sex with me. i guess its safe that way, can't get pregnant again if no one will have sex with you.

Katypila -

Have you got some support IRL - a good friend or a counsellor you can see? I'm worried about you!
As far as men go - women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle! ;)

Men are great and sex is great, but its not the be all and end all. You are more than a vagina IYKWIM? If guys just want you for sex, they're not really great guys. You're worth more then that

I'm sure these men liked you for you - your personality, your beautiful eyes, your great hair, nice bum, great sense of humour etc... and if not, they should have. And I'm sure you can double check on here but I don't think pregnancy stopped many people from DTD! I'm sure you're a great catch, and this is proven by your ability to go out on this unknown journey you're about to undertake and your willingness to reach out for help.

I hope that made some sense, and didn't come off to Oprah. Keep posting here, even if it's only to sort out your thoughts. You can do this...be kind to yourself.

This signals a time of change for you. A time to look after YOU and bubs without the extra complications ;)

Not having a bf actually isn't a big deal as you think, you just aren't used to the thought of it is all. I'm sure you know not having someone around that wants to shag you makes you less of a person, or less attractive - I hope you can feeeel that soon.

There are plenty of time for men and relationships in the future (really, there is. There are plenty of us here onto husband no2 already!), but now is the time for YOU.

You can derive far more strength and joy from being alone - I certainly do.

xoxoxo

:yeahthat:

That's what I meant!

I was really scared to have a baby too and I'm married. Something takes over once you have that baby though and there is no more fear, just love. You can do it, there is strength in you and you will find it. Labour really isn't really as bad as it seems right now. I was terrified of it too and although it was tiring and painful, it really wasn't as bad as what I had built it up to in my mind.

I think you can do it, but there is also the option of adoption if you don't think you can handle raising a child right now. I'm adopted so i think it's a pretty wonderful thing.

I hope you have some close friends and family to support you through this, whatever you decide to do. This is a great place to come to for support and advice.

:

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Katypila -women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle! ;)

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this is so true! just remember that you are worth infinitely more than your ex. he's a shmok and that's all there is to it. there is more to life than sex with a bloke. even just on your own you can pretty often get a much better result lol. and to be honest (i don't know abut others here) but i totally lost interest in any form of sexual stuff in first trimester..

one thing that i was told to help get alot of things out and stop internalizing them, was to write it all down on a piece of paper, it doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense or is irrational or *****y or anything, just to get it all out. then rip it up and burn it. like a liberation of your feelings and thoughts.

can you talk to your mum or dad or siblings (if you have any) about your depression? or a best friend or confidant? and then there are some counsellors that are really great too!

do let us all know how you're getting on. you're right. people are really lovely here. and that includes you too. i sometimes post just to get my thoughts in order. it really helps. don't worry about how people might react to what you have to say, because we are all here to support you. and when you're ready you'll find yourself supporting people from your font of wisdom too.

just remember you are beautiful inside and out and i know how cheesy that sounds but just by what you've said already we can all tell that you are a caring and wonderful person.

love liv x

I wont sugar coat it, at times single parenthood is really hard, mostly it's rewarding, but sometimes incredibly hard. Don't forget you will get baby bonus & will be entitled to other Centrelink payments so financially you should be OK as long as you stay with your parents. As others have said a baby doesn't take up a lot of room so you should have no reason to move out at first. Later you might like to have your independence.

Don't forget that you've got months to get used to the idea so hopefully you will come to terms with it. If not there is always adoption. Very few babies get adopted out these days so if you went down that road you would be providing an infertile couple with a very much wanted baby to cherish.

Once you get yourself booked in to a hospital for the birth you should ask to see the hospital social worker because it really does sound like you could do with some help.

and don't be afraid to ask! it can be daunting, but you are brave and you deserve it. it's so worth having the help. this is the time to really focus in on you, because if you can be well then baby is too.

go well hun x

hey hun!

how're you going today? i hope you're doing okay and are getting some of your thoughts together. i skipped class yesterday, which was a bit naughty but hey! and had a sleep on the couch instead. was having a day of feet up doing nothing lol whilst waiting for midwife to call me back. how're you getting on with your day? what is it you're studying? i hope you're not finding it all too tough at the moment.. it is possible i promise! my first trimester was totally exhausting.. couldn't get through all my readings for uni as would just get home from work and fall asleep lol. couldn't even be bothered getting out of bed to talk to my flatmate, so we'd have conversations via text until he worked out i was in my room lol and would come speak to me if just to say "you want pizza for tea? my shout". :p

but yeah. just think, you'll be second trimester for all of summer and that is way better! no sickness, not much tiredness, better skin lol. i even lost two kilos between weeks 14 and 18 lol! but have got alot bigger since then lol!

anyway. give us a bell if you need anything or just want to chat or vent or whatever! am around pretty often.

and one thing that my ex's sister said to me (who has had 2 terminations and 3 children) that we are blessed really, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. to be able to get pregnant and have children is a gift that not everyone has , and you've got that gift. and remember adoption is an option too, and a pretty amazing one. to be able t share your gift with someone less fortunate. my cousins are adopted, so i think it's pretty special. you can watch them grow from a distance if you don't think you're ready for this then.

hope you're having a lovely day! i don't know where newcastle is, but i hope it's sunny! :D

love liv x

Hi sweet,
I just wanted to give you my support. Im not single, so i dont really know where your coming from in that respect, but i can tell you if the father to my baby didnt want to be around.. i would rather him out of my life. and the babies. I am freaking out about having a baby too, but i think its all pretty normal, your creating a little human that you will look after for the rest of its life, thats an extra heart string you have created, its not all going to be fun and games, but i tell you what, i havent even had this little princess yet and i already love her more than i ever thought i could, and i know when i finally meet her i will somehow love her MORE :)
Do yourself a favour tho sweet, dont worry yourself about the labour, this is my first so i dont know what im in for yet, but ive only honestly just started looking into it the last few weeks, i purposely didnt think about it before now coz i didnt want to spend 7-8 months freaking out about something that HAS to happen.
If you ever need to talk, im here. and this place (BB) is seriously the best place for you to come, all the laides here are awesome.

hey hun,

just thought i'd check in to ask how you are.. you've been quiet for a few days and i have to say i'm a little worried about you and bub (sorry! probably completely misplaced!).. is everything okay? i guess i just worry because you sound as though you're in a really fragile place. and it is scary and lonely. but that's what bb is here for. there are so many wonderful people here who have so much insight. mostly because they've been there.. there will also be a forum for women with the same due date as you, and you never know maybe there might be someone in there that's local to you, someone to have coffee with and find a whole new support network locally to you!

i hope you are okay and bub is too. it'll all work out as the universe has planned it and it'll be okay. you'll see. :)

Be strong sweetie.

You can do this. You and your baby will do good :)

I have a friend who got pregnant to her ex, they tried to live together in a house and take care of their little man together, but still not be together.
Yesterday I found out he kicked her and the baby out. What an ass. She is better off without him.

And one of my 2 best friends is pregnant, her ex dumped her after finding out she was pregnant, didn't want to be a father, pulled the have an abortion line etc.

I think they will both be fine. And I think you will be.

at the moment I'm in limbo, waiting for AF to come, and if it doesn't and it turns out I'm pregnant I'll probably be in the same situation as you guys as well! IF i turn out to be pregnant I would keep it for sure, but the father is a close friend and I don't know how much he'd want to be involved/not involved. Will have to wait and see.

:

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Im 24 single and pregnant
Im reallyreally scared about being pregnant and being a mum alone, ive been crying almost non stop for days and even now i can't see the computer screen through my tears
i know who the father is and he knows that I'm having his baby . he says he wants nothing to do with it. over and over the other day he was saying i should get an abortion. as if my reasons for keeping the baby are stupid. I can't kill something that is alive inside me I dont think im irrational. or stupid. he thinks the child will be soo messed up because it wont have a dad and because im mentally ill, like im sub human .

my eyes sting my nose stings i dont know if i make sense i cant eat cause i want to vomit Im so tired Im scared
Im scared
really really scared

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Hi,

My partner had been saying the same things since I was 6 weeks pregnant, im 20 weeks now and he said he would leave if i was having a girl, we found out its a boy and he made no difference,

he says he hates the baby, he hopes the babys stillborn, and just today he left me,

Iv been crying my eyes out all day,

i dont have anything wise to say to you, because this is still very fresh for me, but if you ever want to talk, Id like it alot.

oh dotty r you poor poor thing :(

you guys can do so much better. real men dont walk away from the responsibilties.

If you ever need to talk, im here :)
:hug:

hey dotty honey,

i see you don't have any private message thing available.

sweetie i have to say i'm really worried about you. what would ever induce anyone to say anything like that is just plain appalling and sick. in my opinion you need to walk away now. it does not need to be permanent but he needs to think that it is. call me a manipulative b**** if you like but i just think that you need to make a really strong statement. how he reacts will show you what you need to know. i'm only 23 and have been having issues with my ex, but nothing as bad as you hun.. what you're experiencing right now is just not acceptable on any level.. do you have anyone to turn to? family? friends? a counsellor? even your midwife might be able to give you some names of support agencies. because you need all the help you can get. he is not worth the strain. your wellbeing is so important right now because everything you feel, your beautiful baby feels.

please dotty, let us know how you are. how's your pregnancy going? is everything okay with bub? is he busy? does he bring happiness to you? i know i would be lost now without my bump. he keeps me company when things are scary or sad.. seems to know when i need him, he'll make his presence known.

you need to show the father just where he stands. if he doesn't want to hang around so be it, but make sure he knows he can't come back. he won't be allowed to push or baby around. just cut him off. either he'll embrace the isolation or be desperate for you to relent. look to others for your support now, like your friends and whanau. you deserve it. i can't emphasise this enough. you deserve all the love and support in the world right now.

and katypila, hun, please let us know how you are. i know you were still just in teh first week really of knowing, so i guess anything could have happened. are you still pregnant? i am a great believer in the will of the universe. if you are then this is how it's meant to be. that's why i'm pregnant (to a man who i care about but who can get f***** if he trys to push me and baby around). but if you're not then maybe the time isn't right, and there is someone waiting just around the corner to make you incredibly happy and want you to be his life partner and the mother of his children. but if you still do have your gorgeous baby on board, then there is a reason for that. maybe s/he will be your life calling, regardless of who the father is.

you know hun. if you ever need to talk i'm around, and i check my mail most days. so if you want to set up your private message service i would love to hear how you're going. and just remember: que sera sera - what will be will be.

:heartbeat:

Dotty R honestly this is when we wipe our hands clean and be strong for our kids. We can do it by ourselves and believe me my son doesnt miss out on anything cz I dont allow it. My friend Joel will play ball with Aiden and play cars with him on the floor for ages cz sometimes Aiden just likes to have a guy around but he never cries for Joel or Daddy cz hell make do with me :)
We play in dirt and kick the ball and do all that stuff thats refered to as father/son stuff and hes not phased.
While its great to have a 2 parent family its not necessary to raise a gorgeous well rounded child.

Thanks everyone.


This morning i started bleeding and ended up in hospital with a partial placenta abruption, He said he didnt care and would even answer the hospital calling him,

He msged me shortly after and told me he was leaving me,

Its fairly sad, I can honestly say when we were TTC i never imagined this is where i would be now,

today as the lowest of lows, when someones ment to care about you most they leave you.

yeh. that really is s***. last time i spoke to bub's father he told me outright that he hated me and didn't give a s*** about me (but he does care about bub.. i think). he's selfish and petty and deserves all the bs that his 21year old (but she seems to act about 12) gf puts him through. i had spotting a week ago and freaked out and sent him a txt as he'd said he wanted to know stuff about bub and he didn't reply. just didn't care. so i don't see how he sleeps at night but, now, quite frankly i just don't care. it does get better. i promise.

has the bleeding stopped? did they scan bub and check that he's okay? you have all my love.

:hug:
Sorry my post sounds harsh but I guess when I post these I am them at myself (if that makes any sense.) See this is my second pregnancy and second time being a single parent. After I split from DS' father I tried a casual relationship with another man when DS was 10 months old. I ended up pregnant and now Ill have 4 kids and Im only 20 in November. I put the hard word down to sort of remind myself that Im strong I can do this and so can everyone else in here cz were amazing mummys.
:hug:

This is my 3rd child and im 23, its my new partners first child and his 25, he whinges that he wont be able to live his life and its annoys me,

16yos accept their responsabilitys yet a 25yo cant?

yeah i say just get rid of him. you and your family can do so much better. he's not worth the stress on you and bub. my ex is 26 (almost 27) and he acts like a child sometimes. but all i can say in his defence is that his sister had her first at 18 (with two terminations prior to that) and he was just 15 at the time, so when she got ditched by that waste of space he saw just what it meant from her side which is the only reason i think he feels that he has to hang around. it just makes me angry that he thinks he can treat me like dirt and still expect me to bend over backwards to let him in. and your bub's father should know better too. he's 25 for goodness sake. he's just a waste of space. let him f*** off and don't let him back.

but how is bub?

and rhyb you aren't sounding harsh! i am totally there with you on that. strength is what we have cos lets face it, if the continuation of the human race was up to men they would just curl up into a ball, cry and never have sex again for fear of getting pregnant. in fact they'd probab;ly think they were dying with their first period.

:

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yeah i say just get rid of him. you and your family can do so much better. he's not worth the stress on you and bub. my ex is 26 (almost 27) and he acts like a child sometimes. but all i can say in his defence is that his sister had her first at 18 (with two terminations prior to that) and he was just 15 at the time, so when she got ditched by that waste of space he saw just what it meant from her side which is the only reason i think he feels that he has to hang around. it just makes me angry that he thinks he can treat me like dirt and still expect me to bend over backwards to let him in. and your bub's father should know better too. he's 25 for goodness sake. he's just a waste of space. let him f*** off and don't let him back.

but how is bub?

and rhyb you aren't sounding harsh! i am totally there with you on that. strength is what we have cos lets face it, if the continuation of the human race was up to men they would just curl up into a ball, cry and never have sex again for fear of getting pregnant. in fact they'd probab;ly think they were dying with their first period.

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Babys ok, just waiting atm to see what happens, his being a complete **** about it

good to hear that baby's okay. you just need to have some time out and look after you and your wee ones. is there anywhere you can go? i found a cheap return fare to adelaide and went and stayed with some family friends for a month, came back he was being a total arse still so stopped speaking to him for 6weeks. and now he takes me a little more seriously, because i've shown him that i mean it when i say if he f***s about with me and baby he's out for good. now at least he seems to be trying to be nice-ish. and i figure that's a start.

and there are better people out there. when i first joined here i posted about my horrible ex and there was one woman (who's in my due date group too :D) who said that she left her ex when she was in first trimester and moved across the country and met the man who is now her husband when she was 15 weeks pregnant. her little girl is two and they're expecting their first baby together just a few days after me. so it really does happen and she is fabulous and really gave me hope that it would be okay after all.

see if you can go stay some place with your family.. if its possible for someone to take the reigns on looking after your other two while you just have some you time.. is it a possibility?

Both other kids live in melbourne with there dad, they have lived there since they were school age.


so thats not an issue,

m so annoyed because i chose him, i thought he was alot better than this, i never thought this would happen.

im kicking myself

hun, we're all human.

everyone i seem to choose is complete prat too.. my ex is poss one of the best so far (believe it or not) in that he only is abusive with his words and demeanour, and i think he genuinely has good in him, but needs to grow up a bit and find it.. i somehow make excuses for them all until one final event and it just hits me as to how s***** they have been all along.. i went off men for about 2 years before i met my ex, and in that time was attacked by a friends flatmate. lost the friend into the deal because she didn't believe me when i said what had happened.

it's good that you see the best in people, but maybe just some time off in terms of relationships is best right now. that was the best thing i ever did. no sex. no men except those who didn't count because they were friends. no drunken liaisons even. it just gives you some time to be you. and to work out what you want and what you're looking for. and truly, celibacy really isn't that bad lol! i found it quite restorative! ;)

what if you headed to melbourne to see your kids for a bit? i love melbourne.. it would have to be my favourite place in australia.

you must have been young with them, since they're school age and you're the same age as me.. so maybe some time out is just what you need. time to really know what you want. i found that i'd gotten into a pretty bad cycle of who i was with, as started drinking and doing things i probably shouldn't have when i was 11. the two years without anyone (except b****** sam 6 months into that) really cleared my head and helped me see what i wanted and, i think, helped me start to be able to see what i wanted in my potential partners, instead of just anyone.

and it's not like you really know someone properly until you've been with them a while. like with my ex, i met him about 6 months before he asked me out, i didn't let him anywhere near me for about a month, and i didn't sleep with him until we'd been dating for 3 months. i explained that there where things that had happened as to why i kept my distance and he respected that. he asked if i wanted to tell him what they were and i said no and he didn't ask again. i told him when i was ready to. i just don't think he was ready for the kind of relationship i wanted. he certainly wasn't ready to be a dad the first time i got pregnant and so i knew that it wasn't right. this time around he was shocked but then he started to get excited when i told him that i couldn't terminate again and that i felt the universe was saying it was time for me to be mum (lol wouldn't you with two BFP's in 6 months..)

it's tough. but bub will be loved by you and your family. and maybe he'll eventually see the positive. but you don't need him weighing you down. maybe the universe got the two of you together because he's a good sperm donor.. but right now he's hurting you and baby and thats not okay. just remember that we are all human and this is just how life happens.. it's just a matter of finding your path from this point, instead of looking back and punishing yourself.

you have my love hun. x

the father of my baby has being seeing me and being really friendly he wants me to come on holidays to the mountains this new year. The baby had its 1st ultrasound last week and is healthy looking whichim so pleased about.

I wish i had been more into this thread saying thankyou and stuff ! you people on here are very nice and nonjudgemental which is needed because 2 or my friends arnt speaking to me unless they want to say wat a terrible mistake i have made etc.

please excuse bad spellinh and typing but I broke my finger on monday and its spliunted up so hard to type. but even harder to stay away from the computer.

im doing really well i think!

from Katypila

hey katypila!

am so glad to hear that you and baby are doing well! and i'm glad that bub's father has decided to be a man and step up. honey, just a word of warning: be careful! you have to look after you right now because everything you feel baby feels. i made that mistake with my bub's father. he has done some truly unforgivable things but seems to want to make amends now bub is almost here. i'm just not interested, and i'm glad that i've been able to get to the point that he is not important. i really hope that this is different for you and that your baby's father is being supportive and thinking about your and baby's wellbeing.

just remember that you have made the best decision for you. it is not important what your friends do or say and frankly if they aren't speaking to you on account of your being pregnant then i wouldn't count them as friends. friends stand by you no matter what, they might tell you they think it's not what they would've done if faced with the same predicament, but they will always be your friends and support you through your decision. that's what real friends should do in any case. and if they don't then if they are a true friend they will know that they've done something cruel and will eventually apologise and ask your forgiveness. that's how i know that my ex has never been a true friend. he has not once apologised for anything that he has done. and yet has somehow created this fantasy that everything's okay now because his gf has decided that i'm not a threat after all and he can try and make good by saying that we should make an agreement, or give me a whole pile of baby clothes to my friend to give to me, or that him (and her) want to visit baby, but not at my house, has to be in a park somewhere because he's "not comfortable" coming to my house. b******. i'm "not comfortable" with his gf seeing my baby.

sorry about the bitter rant hun. he's just been making my life miserable the last couple of days. getting his sister to contact me to dig for him etc. is just getting ridiculous. i told him to back off, so instead he uses underhand methods to find out things. with one week to go lol, he's cutting it fine. suddenly he wants to be a dad. well i'm not having a bar of it. baby will not be available to him unless he comes to me for some weeks. however baby will be going to see his greatgreatnana as its not every child who has a greatgreatgrandparent, and she's in the south island so will have to jump on a plane to do that lol. midwife was awesome though and said just remember to have him on the breast for take off and landing, so his ears don't pop. wouldn't have ever thought of that!

but yes. sorry am totally prattling now! i hope your finger gets better soon and you enjoy your holiday with baby's father (if you go). just remember to look after you and baby first and foremost! you two are the most important things right now! no one else is important!

much love hun! x