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....stupid & shut up??
IMO these 2 words, even though they aren't really swearing, are just the start of a huge list of words (more obvious words) that they are not allowed to say.
They aren't allowed to call each other idiot either.
Are there any words most people think are innocent that you don't allow your kids to say? I remember mum & dad banning us from dork...never thought that was fair! My kids have never heard the word though I don't think, lol.
Dork is the technical term for a whale's penis, so I can understand that one.
DS is allowed to say whatever I say: makes me watch my language! He sometimes comes home with the odd word/phrase from nursery I don't like (eg go away or shut up) and I tell him that's not nice. It's OK to ask for alone time and it's OK to ask someone to be quiet, so I have to work hard on modelling that (and not just screaming at DH and DS "stop touching me! Stop it! Further away! Go outside! I can't cope!" as I did last month).
Nope! I don't allow shut up, stupid, idiot, dumb, crap or bugger! They do let them slip so obviously they say them at school.
LOL @ dork! My aunt told us it was a males penis when we were teenagers which made the word even more fun for us.
I agree with not allowing those words. They are very disrespectful.
My son is only 2 but talks up a storm. He is not allowed to say "go away" as we tell him it's not very nice. My husband thinks it ok to use the word "crap" around him as he thinks it is not a swear word, but i do and will not let him use it.
He will not be allowed to use the word "retarded" in any context (ie that is so retarded)...........well ok he might be able to use it if he was saying something like "the growth of the plant was retarded by the lack of sunlight" but you know what I mean.
Idiot and moron will not be allowed either.
I understood dork when I got older, just didn't think it was fair as a kid when everyone around me was allowed to say it!
I don't really say stupid & shut up myself, but how my kids got through without saying some of the other things I say i really don't know :rolleyes: I always made it clear that that they were grown up words only....its worked so far...not sure what that says about me though, lol.
They use silly, shoosh, not fair, annoying, lol. They do tell each other to go away, but I can't stop that with the way they annoy the crap outta each other. (Yes I say crap, they don't...)
I don't even let my kids say fart :redface: Although now that they're older I overlook it if it is said. A 13 yo boy saying pop off is a little strange :rofl:
Lol...DS says fart already...
Nope I dont let my kids use any of those words... even my 13 yr old!!! :lol::lol:
It sounds awlful, and is extremely disrespectful. I dont speak to people that way, they dont speak to me that way, and i expect my kids to be the same.
Although at school... well.... how would you know, little buggers!!! :rolleyes:
My kids know the diffence between "Not nice" words and "swear" words, and neither are ok here.
No stupid, dumb, shutup, idiot in our house. I also don't like fart either ;)
DD1 (3.5yrs) has started saying 'stupid' and we are trying to put a stop to it. I think she gets it from childcare. She is allowed to say 'silly' but not 'stupid'. We also don't allow 'shut-up'. She said it to me once and was in so much trouble. She is asked to say 'please be quiet' or 'shoosh please'.
I say shut up to DS too much, not necessarily in a horrible way, but I need to start saying be quiet instead...
I am happy for him to say dork, didn't realise it was a whales penis LOL I dont like idiot. I encourage silly instead of stupid too. We say fart and pop off, it doesn't wory me which DS uses.
DS knows what words are nice words and what words are rude words, sometimes he slips up, but I dont get too wrked up over it, they are only words after all.
We were never allowed to say 'hate' either, and I remember when my brothers used to play their battle games and they used to have to say "i dispatched you" instead of "I killed you".
Some things I think I'll carry from my parents is: shut up, go away, stupid, idiot. I think just basically words that put down others... But ANY word used as a put down is not on.
I don't really have a problem with fart LOL! Do they get in trouble at school for 'fart'?
No way. No words of disrespect at all. Not stupid, not shutup, not I hate you... I don't even let my kids talk to each other in a rude or nasty way to each other let alone to any adult. It's not on. We don't talk to them that way so they are not allowed either. If you want your kids to respect you, you need to show them you won't tolerate disrespect. Doesn't mean you demand respect (I don't believe in that either) but allowing certain behaviour IMO is like saying "You can treat me like crap". It's our job to teach them right from wrong and this is a BIG one that I am against.
we have no shut up, get lost, idiot, dumb. loser, hell, sh#t or hate.
My DD has recently started saying it was hell good, or hell this .It really gets up my nose, so i pull her up on it all the time.
Nope we don't use those words either - we try to model the language and attitude we want our kids to embrace.
for me, even though dd is only 19 months. I can't stand hearing kids say shut up its unnecessary. I know a 4 year old who says bugger and I HATE it. And I am not an anal parent kwim. I tolerate alot and am not really mega strict but there are a few things I just don't like. hearing a 4 year old say bugger is just like what the! I know she doesn't know what it means but still
Oh, hate, I don't allow that one either. DD1 understands, but DD2 isn't so easy.
Actually DH has a bit of a mouth on him, particularly when he is venting about work or on the phone. I keep saying 'you have to stop saying X before the baby comes!' He claims to not know which words are 'appropriate' so asked me to make him a list of 'no no words' (not just what he can't say, but what we don't want our children to say, or people to use around them).
the list is:
f***
s***
c***
stupid
bugger
dumb
b*tch
shutup
idiot
crap
damn
w*nker
any race-based words
I will have a bit of trouble with crap and stupid!
I'm the same... not allowed here either. My teen DD rarely swears at home (verbally) which i'm grateful for because the few times she has the younger boys have picked stright up on it :wall: Same with "hate" and "stupid" etc... not swearing but still discouraged.
I also discourage them from saying "Oh my God" if it's just used flippantly.
Yeah, I've tried to deterr the oh my God here too & explained it. We're getting there. Its not said often at all.
:doh: i never knew that dork meant whale's penis.. learn something new even at 36!!
skye - hope poopy doesnt pick rude words up, though im sure he will fr somewhere.
shut up and go away arent nice words.
ive seen little toddlers scold their parents and it's quite awful.
and there's a couple of older kids at poopy's daycare who have called some parents "doody head" etc. I've told them it's not nice, and the other day I overheard another mother telling them "you are rude kids"
These are a brother and sister, must be 3 and 4.
I'd hate for some other parent to tell my child he's rude..
I don't allow shut up, get lost, idiot, stupid, spaz... although it makes it hard because I don't know what is / isn't allowed when the girls are at their mother's place.
DSD1 has started saying 'jesus christ' which I detest, but DH says it so what can I say?? Same as DSD2 saying 'damn it' which is something I know her stepdad uses...
Nic,
In regards to what is allowed at Mum's house shouldn't matter. I believe that the girls should respect that isn't allowed at your house. I never understood when I was little but my Aunty asked us not to say "Oh My God!", "Oh My Goodness" was used instead. To this day I don't say Oh My God. Its the same with DP, being a tradie he'll say every word under the sun on the phone, but when it comes to talking to me - never ever says a 'swear word' to me...
Hate is a very big dislike of mine... I always say Hate is such a strong wrong, perhaps you don't like x at the moment.
My Step-Sisters children often 'gutter talk' - not much you can do if the parents allow it - they just know that I won't tolerate it and I suggest others words for them to use.
Lots of memories coming back re: this topic... "A swear/inappropriate word is used when you haven't got anything intelligent to say or use".
IMO or contribution to the topic :)
Totally understand and agree with you CBG, but in the heat of the moment, I can understand them slipping up!! I still slip up in front of my MIL who doesn't approve of swearing at all!!:
I'm assuming that there is a lot of swearing going on at DSD1's school because I've seen some pretty colourful MSN / Facebook chats that she accidentally leaves on the screen when I am walking past...
Yes, I have some younger friends on social network sites and can not believe that their friends would use the c word in a conversation, like hey c*** how are ya? pffftt like its nothing. Young people these days :rolleyes: (do I sound really really old?)
DH's mate talk like that and I can always tell when he's been hanging around them, esp drinking with them... he always drops the C bomb when I'm least expecting it :o:
Needless to say he gets a nice little telling off!!
No I wouldn't allow these words either, we don't at work, also don't like kids saying things like i'm going to kill you.
I have to pick kids up at our local C&K for after kindy care and a couple of boys there are always shooting me with guns they made there and saying haha you're dead. The other day I got sick of it and told them quite loudly that they were being very rude and to move away from me.:
What's with allowing children to have guns and kill each other anyway?
A Mother of 5 kids i was friends with a few years ago her youngest child (a son) at age 5 would say to her " Sl*t make my dinner " :o ... I was more than horrified & shocked especially when i heard him call her " Sl*t " on more than one occasion when i visited her ... she would look so embarrassed & even ashamed, sadly her marriage was in trouble & her DH would speak to her in a disrespected manner in front of her kids :shakehead:
Also sadly ALL 5 kids spoke to her with disrespect ... needless to say their marriage ended and she was happier with the situation of the Father having full-custody of the 5 kids.
Tinks ... too funny we won't allow DD (3.5) to say fart so it's " Pop off " in our house ;)
Smiles, that is so sad. 1. For XH to speak to speak to his wife like that 2. the children speaking to their Mummy like that 3. That a horrible man would have custody of the children, creating 5 more people to do that in the future. Hope your friend is okay now.
I've heard some kids (some of my friends whe I was younger) say some absolutely disgusting things to their parents & even at that age I was shocked & appalled.
Elocin - I think rules in your house should apply weather different to mum's rules or not.
TBH my children do hear some horrible language, but they know what is allowed & what is not. I like that growing up knowing these are adult words, they know when their friends learn a new word they won't say it as they already know its not right. If my DH said damn it around the kids I still wouldn't allow them to say it, as they are not adults & aren't to use those words til they are. No point banning those words forever as they will be said :rolleyes:, but, so far I think they will wait til they are old enough to understand what they mean, & what the really bad words are before they start saying them all the time. Also hoping they'll have the respect not to speak like that around me, as I am with my mum.
I've had kids around who spoke to their mothers in a disrespectful way & I pulled them up on it & told them not to speak like that when I'm around. I don't want to hear it. I would say don't speak like that at all, but some people encourage it & think its hilarious when their young children say horrible words. So they could do what ever their parents wanted, as wrong as it is, but not while I was around.
gee.. they arent allow to make guns etc at day care and all..how are they allowing this?
how sad to call their mum sl*t... yeah, skye, ive seen some parents let their children get away with saying rude things and calling them names.
one of our friends kids once accidentally kicked dh's foot and it hurt and he wouldnt apologise. he must have been abt 5. his father asked him to say sorry, after we mumbled something, and he went ' i didnt do it on purpose so im not going to say sorry" and his father sheepishly laughed it off. sigh...
CharlieBrownGirl ... yeh another sad thing is she stopped contacting & speaking to me when i was 39weeks pregnant with my 1st bub ... was a very hard time to have a friend i had known for years cut me off ... and more harder than that was not knowing why ?
My DP & i last saw her when i was heavily pregnant at her engagement to a new man in her life ... i was her only friend at this engagement party (and she had no family members there either) so DP and i felt like we were trying to make up for all her friends & family whom chose not to come ... We made such an effort mingling with her fiance's family & friends to the point we were hoping they didn't notice my friend not having anyone there other then us that she knew. We had a great night, gave each other kisses & hugs, she was smiling & appeared to be happy and that was the last time i ever saw or heard from her. I tried contacting her for ages ... then about a month after my DD was born she FINALLY answered a txt i sent her like nothing had happened (out of character for her) so i told her i was happy that she was OK & that as friend i couldn't believe she stopped contacting me especially being heavily pregnant when i needed her most ... she gave me no excuse so i told her to take care of herself and that she had broken my heart after all the years i had been there to support her as a friend and i also told her that i hoped my DD never treats a friend as she did me :shakehead: