Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ December 09

Welcome to Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss. In this thread you will find women who are navigating the sometimes difficult but joyous challenge of parenting after saying goodbye. This can throw up many challenges and in here you will find friendship and a safe place to share your experiences.

If you have any concerns within the thread please email/ PM any of the following Moderating/Admin team for this forum (all emails & PM's are treated equally & confidentially) :-

Niliac
Mistyfying
Inanna and
Spring Angel

Their email addresses can be found here.

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Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!

You will find the previous thread HERE

First in - howdy all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Hi Lee - Glad you are doing well hun.

Sorry to be a downer in here already but I've had the most scary afternoon. DH and I have spent several hours in the Emergency Department as I started bleeding. Of course I immediately think the worst news ever but I had some b/t's and an ultrasound and my little bub is stickier than ever at the moment. It has grown 2 more mm and now has a heart rate of 117bpm. However just as I started to relax a little bit I've had a bigger bleed. I'm not going back to hossy though. I'm just hoping like mad that I don't get any pain and we'll have our scan next Monday as planned.

I eneded up letting Sage go to my mums. As much as I don't want him to be there I need to get some rest. The DR has ordered me to rest for the next few days. I'm yet to inform my boss that I won't be there tomorrow either.
DH's parents now know that I'm pregnant too. They are so excited.

Oh and my edd has now been adjusted to 10th August.

BBL as I'm stuffed.

Mako - Massive hugs... what a terrible afternoon and I'm praying that all is giong to be ok. Things do sound ok and I know sooo many lovely ladies who have bled throughout their pregnancies and still had healthy little bubs. I know it's not going to help you right now though but take the dr advice and rest up. If you start feeling unsure again... just go back to the hospital and so you can put your mind at ease. Please, please, please take care and little bub in there... please continue to be the stickiest little bub ever!!!

Take care... I'm thinking of you.

Kel xxx

mako :hug: I had 2 bleeds with E one at 7 weeks and another at almost 9 weeks - New Years Eve last year. I know how stressful it can be but at least you have good news with the scan. I was convinced the pg was over when I had the first one :( I never had any bleeding with DD1 so no bleeding was normal to me if that makes any sense?

Take it easy OK?

:hello: everyone else, specially the ladies I haven't met yet :)

Mako - thinking of you and praying that bub hangs in there. :hug: Must have been horribly scary.

Cyclone Samuel has struck the lounge room - must run. I can't believe he will be one in only two more days!

BW

Mako - how scary, but it sounds like all is going very well after the scan. Sooo many women bleed during their pregnancies and all turns out fine hun, so keep holding onto that thought! Make sure you do take it easy over the next few days too. I hope Sage will be ok at your Mum's, try not to worry about him, who knows, he may be just fine!

Deb - big big :hug: sweetie, you really shouldn't be going through all this. I wish there was something I could do for you. I know that you will have a lovely Christmas despite all of this because you will have all your beautiful children with you. They will make it a special day no matter what else is happening sweetie, just focus on them. I think you are an amazingly strong woman and you will get through this.

Spring - how are you going?

BW - wow, I can hardly believe Sam is almost one either, that has gone way too quickly!

megsmum - hi and welcome to the thread! It's great to have you here!

Bek - good to see you pop in, You must be sooo busy with your three gorgeous girls!

Lee - love the pic of Flynn! I have PMed you for facebook so I can see some more!

Sorry, I am a little behind where everyone is at and don't have time to go back and read up on the last thread again, I promise that I did read it, just with my pregnancy brain I can't remember it all! I have had a shocking few days. After thinking DD was sick on the weekend because of drinking the dog's water, it turns out that she must have actually had a bug, as DH caught it two days later. Then, two days after that and feeling exhausted from looking after them, I went and got it! Was sick as a dog yesterday plus had tilers in the house all day which really didn't help, and then the illness brought on the WORST BHs last night. I seriously thought I was going into labour, had the hossy ph no out and everything! I had to rock through them, have a long shower, take pain killers, and eventually they went away and I had a little sleep last night. Feeling a lot better today but utterly exhausted. I have no one to help out with DD at the last minute here but thankfully she was a good little girl all day. I am really looking forward to having a spew free house now!

Mako - big hugs hun :hug: I empathise with the bleeding etc. You know where I am if you need to chat.

Deb - sending you big squishy hugs too :hug: I know there are no answers but knowledge is power. Early intervention with that knowledge is critical - but you already know that :hug:

Sorry girls - it has been one of those days here too.

DH crashed the car on the way home from work and it is probably written off. Thankfully he is ok but it is a headache to get sorted at this time of year. Stubborn man he is, we are sitting here at home and I am monitoring him closely. Brought down power lines, set off the airbag, caught on fire :o I get to see the end result in the morning.

AFM - cramping pain and a sanity scan on a crud machine that didn't reassure me at all leaves me anxious and worried and prepared to be outed at work to do another one before Christmas. I just don't want to tell everyone when I go home without being sure things are still progressing :wall: Hoping the extra cramping is related to the phone call from DH telling me he had crashed but feeling sooooooooo fragile :( I hate this stage.

BBL when I am less of a misery guts .........

Michelle: Poor DH, that sounds like a pretty bad crash. :hug: I am so so happy to hear he is ok. You are right, sorting out the car will be a hassle but it is so good that DH is ok. Tough cookie he must be. Get the scan hun, if it will put your mind at ease I think it is best. I hope you and DH are feeling better tomorrow.

Mako: :hug: babe. I've BTDT and it isn't fun. I hope and pray bub is sticky and this is just a terrible scare. :hug:

Bun: I just shudder when I hear about gastro doing the rounds, it is terrible terrible terrible. Hope you and the family are over the worst of it.

Bun - Rest up hun you sound like you need after the gastro bug. My girls are keeping me very busy atm.

Michelle - I am so glad to hear that your DH is ok. PIA abou the car but at least you man is ok. Go and have the scan so that you can enjoy Christmas.

Mako - Wow you don't need this stress. I have everything crossed for you.

Hugs to all. I am off to fold a mountain of washing.

Oh man, what a time we're having in here my loves :grouphug:

It is too late for my brain to function well enough for personals, but I am seriously thinking of all of you with stresses tonight :hug:. I went late night shopping with DS, which was nice, got heaps done, but thought I was going into labour by the end of it :o so I'd better get myself to bed I think! I'm sure I'm not in labour, or close, but will probably be a panic merchant this time around :redface: :rolleyes:.

Nighty night all xoxo

PS Spring, sending you extra strong STAY PREGNANT VIBES!

Michelle sending you a great big :hug: hun. I hope your DH is ok after his crash. Hope it wasn't your new car but if it was then maybe you'll end up with the silver that you originally wanted ;)
Also get that scan done before you go away to help ease your mind. This stage of pregnancy sucks I reckon.

Bun Sending all the get well vibes I can to your house. Gastro is the pits :hug:

Janie Well done on going late night shopping last night. DH and I went out for an hour too and picked up what we were after. Couldn't believe that the shops were staying open to midnight last night.

Spring How are you feeling?

Willow Thanks for your text yesterday. Know that I'm thinking of you too. You know where I am if you need anything.

Mako - oh no hun. :comfort: How scary for you guys, im keeping everything crossed that bubs is sticking. I told you how they said i lost ethan, and it was a very heavy bleed then :( So im hoping you have a checky baby and thats all it is sweety.

morning girls, well what a day i had yesterday :wall: I go to the sleep apneia doctor. This stupid man the asks me "so what brings you here today" grrrr he had the referal right there in front of him. So i then had to explain what happened to Lilli. After that i then had to go and do a resusation course :( Well they could have told me earlier. On the bed is this little baby doll that i have to give CPR to. First the lady says "now imagine you walk into the room and your child is not breathing" umm well hello i don't need to imagine ive been there. Then she asks, what would be the first thing i do. I tolg her i shock Lilli and then the tears started, it was one very emtional day.

Hope you all have a better day today, ill bbl for more personals.

Rach: I am fuming mad on your behalf. How dare they not take the time to read your referral and to treat you with some sensitivity. You must be a very calm woman because I would have clocked them one. I'm so sorry you had to go through that hun, you are so strong and I admire that so much. But grrrr to the stupid sleep people you came across yesterday. :hug:

Mako: Hopeing you had an uneventful night babe. :hug:

Michelle: How is DH this morning? Sore no doubt but I hope that he is ok.

Janie: Hope you got a good nights sleep. I'm the captain of the panic merchant ship, welcome aboard (lol)

Well thankfully bub decided to stay put overnight. Phew. DH is due back in a few hours and I have a CTG this morning so crisis averted.

Spring xx

I think we need some massive big group hugs in here :grouphug:

Rach - wow.. I can't believe they put you through all that.. what a day for you. I don't know if I would of coped and am amazed at how strong you sound. You are an inspiration. I can't imagine how tough it's all been for you. :hug:

Mako - how are you feeling this morning hon?? I hope the bleeding has eased and you're feeling ok. I'm praying you've got a really sticky bub in there.

Janie - Don't you dare even joke about going into labour yet!!! :o It's WAY too early for that young lady! Glad you got the shopping done!

Bek - hope you got all the washing folded.. I HATE folding washing with a passion.. don't mind doing the washing and hanging it out but hate folding and putting it all away for some reason!!

Michelle - OMG.. I'm so glad your DH is ok, what a shock! Hope you're feeling ok too.. definitely go have the scan so you can at least relax a tiny bit more over Chrissy. Early pg is just the WORST!!

Bun - you poor thing.. it's just the worst when the germs slowly spread through the whole house. Hope you're all feeling heaps better today!

BW - Hope Sam has a wonderful 1st birthday tomorrow.. how exciting!

Lee - Sounds like everything is going so well with you guys.. what a great Christmas you should have!

Megsmum - Welcome and sorry to hear of your loss. It's a brilliant group of girls in here and it's wonderful to have you join us.

Lisa - Hope you're enjoying your holiday.. when are you back?

Big hello to everyone else and hope all is well.

AFM - As much as I love Christmas and New Years... I'm afraid I'm just hanging out for it to all be over so I can head back to Perth for a couple of weeks and see everyone!! I'm really missing home so much atm and especially missing my mum. We're flying out on January 9.. so all I can say is 'bring it on'!!

Hope things improve for everyone in here... it's been a bit of a rough ride lately!

Take care and love to you all...

Kel xxx

Rach I'm so bloody angry those stupid insensitive Drs put you through that yesterday. Was that at JHH? The least they should have done was read the referral and the person at the CPR should have chosen their words so much better too. You are such a strong and inspirational woman and friend :hug: I so wish you didn't have to go through that. On a side note how did Miss E go with her sleep study?

Kelly Have you tested yet????? Your trip back to Perth sounds exactly what you need atm. I hope you have a wonderful time.

Spring All the best with your appt today and WOOHOO on your DH coming home today too.

Just had a phone call from my mum and she said Sage slept all night although he got upset when he woke up cos he was calling out for me. I really do wonder sometimes how were survived as kids as she told me he had some grapes and a bite of vegemite toast and 2 pieces of nutri grain. She than asks me if I put milk on his cereal :wall: Ummmm of course I do :rolleyes: Oh she said I'll have to go and buy some then cos I used the last of it in my cup of tea. Did you put any money in his bag??? WTF :shakehead: Oh dear I really wonder sometimes. I just shake my head.

OK I'm off to get some washing done and try and get some packing done too as we go away on Monday for a couple of weeks.
Hope everyone has a much better day today.

:happybirthday: Happy 1st Birthday Sam. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Spring xx

Happy Birthday Sam! I hope it's a wonderful day for all of you :D

Spring, so glad you're still here, and made through the other night!!!!!

Michelle, how are things my love??? :hug:

Kelly, what is going on woman????????? I demand to know :lol:. In fact, I'm going to text you this morning, so you can bring me up to date ;)

Better dash, off to the local shops for a few things, and then a bb babyshower this arvo :dance:

Firstly, I wondered why no one was posting - I lost the new thread :rolleyes:

I'm so far behind but not going to do personals now.

I'm so very sad to let you all know that Mako is back in hospital...her tiny babe has grown wings :cry:

In the circumstances, she is doing OK. Not sure how long she is going to be in but is still there this afternoon and expecting to be there a while.

Mako - You know how very sad and very sorry I am. You are the most beautiful friend and I am angry at the universe that this has happened again. So very angry right now...I have cried bucketloads for you and your tiny angel. I want you to know that I'm here for you whenever, whatever. We will help you get through this babe.

:heartbeat: Fly free tiny angel...and know that you are loved :heartbeat:

PS BW - She wanted me to make sure I said Happy Birthday to Sam from her. I can't believe she even remembered...

Mako sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you honey and wishing this didn't have to happen. Big big :hug: Sweetie. I wish I could give you a hug for real but please know that I am thinking of you and sending all my best wishes. Life is really not fair sometimes.

BW - happy birthday to Samuel! I hope he is having a lovely day.

Happy birthday Sam!

W, please pass on my love to Mako :(

Oh dear Mako, I am so sad and gutted for you right now :hug:. And that's nothing to what you will be feeling. I wish I had the words that could take all the pain away, and make things right for you. We are all here for you babe, to help you through this :grouphug:. Wrap your arms extra tight around Sage when you get home, and take refuge in his love for his mummy. I'm sorry I can't be there for you to give you a really big cuddle in person, and a shoulder to cry on :(.

Hang in there my love. We will all remember your tiny angel.........xoxo

Oh Mako I am so so sorry. :hug: I just wish I could hug you and help you to grieve in person. Just know that my love, thoughts, prayers and support are with you darling. :hug:

Mako i'm so very sorry hun - the universe seriously sucks!

Janie - lovely to meet you and your little man today! you look fantastic!

afu - big day out today - headed to melb for the BB babyshower janie mentioned. so very tired now. was lovely to meet Janie and some other new BB girls - and to catch up with those i've met before. so very tired now though (will teach me to stay up late cooking!).

on another note - AF showed up last week for the first time since E arrived. she is just perfect, and worth all we've been through - but now i am struggling with the notion that my body is saying it might be ready for another baby - physically yes, mentally/emotionally i'm not ready for that rollercoaster at all! i've never had a cycle of any sort - and i know chances of natural conception are very slim - but i'm back in the headspace of worrying if it might happen and then facing the "omg, what if" thoughts about early pg again

sigh - no cycle when i'm trying - why the hell does she come back now? i'm still BF E full time - stupid body!

Oh no, no, no, no... Mako... I'm so so sorry to hear the devistating news. It's just not fair that you're going through this again. I wish there was more that I could say.

Mako, sweet Mako. I am so very very sorry hun. :hug: This just isn't fair. I wish I could be there IRL to support you. Please know I'm thinking of you from afar and sending you all my love and support

Spring :comfort:

Wishing Sam a very Happy 1st Birthday and a bigger hug for his mummy (and daddy) for surviving the first year :hug: Congratulations guys!!!




Mako - I am so sorry :( You don't deserve this and you definitely don't need this now or any time. I am thinking of you and sending you a big hug :hug:

As for here - I am still a nervous nelly (and slightly more so now :(). Preparations are underway for Lily's birthday party tomorrow and my family are here so a big day of shopping for Christmas and stuff too. My baby turns one on Monday :o Now where did that time go?!?!?!?!?

BBL :grouphug:

:hug: I know this is frightening darling Michelle - I truly do. Just know your story is yours & it is a different one to anyone else. :hug: Big big big understanding cuddles...
I prescribe tim tams, rum balls and a cup of earl grey out of a china mug.. :hug:

Mako, I'm so very, very sorry to hear your sad news this morning. :hug: You are a beautiful kind soul for thinking of me and Sam at such a sad and awful time for yourself.

Michelle, will be thinking of you with Lilly's party today... and tomorrow on her birthday. It's hard to believe it was a year ago that I jumped queue and went first and we ended up sending text messages to each other from our hospital beds.

Well... survived the party. I have no idea what possessed me to think having a party on a Saturday was a good idea. I was so vague and out of it, but every time I thought of something that needed to be done, a beautiful friend had already popped up and done it for me.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes everyone. As much as his birth wasn't what we had hoped for and expected, his first birthday was just amazing. :)

BW

Hey Ladies, sorry i havent posted lately 1stly it was because we were busy and stressing over Christmas and then i lost the thread and wondered why no one was posting and then this morning found there was a new thread.

MakoI'm so so so sorry to hear your news :hug: :hug: thinking of you at this difficult time.

BW Happy belated 1st birthday to Sam.

Michelle Happy 1st Birthday to Lily.

Sorry for the lack of personals

AFM: Things are slowly working themselves out, DF was paid the wages he was due but the gross misconduct claim is still under review and it could take up to 6months to be sorted out. We've managed to buy presents for Sophie and we can afford to go to Sydney for a few days over Christmas. Sophie is saying/trying to say ALOT of words lately. I've started using Fertility Friend but still need to get a BBT thermometer, 1 of the chemists in town didnt have 1 so will check the other chemist sometime during the week otherwise i will get it online. AF showed up on Dec 11th just over 5weeks after i had the D&C done and it lasted 6days.

From what i have read everyone needs alot of :hug: :grouphug:

I just want to say thanks to everyone for your kind messages and a special thanks to Willow for your many many texts yesterday and today. You are such an amazing friend and you mean the world to me.

Rach Thanks for your texts too hunny. I really do appreciate everything you've done.

Also Michelle Thanks for your texts too. I know all to well how scary this time is for you and I'm so sorry for that. I wish I could make everything better for you and make the next few weeks fly by uneventfully for you. Happy Birthday to Lily for tomorrow and I hope you all have a lovely day today :hug:

I'm just so shattered right now. I can't describe my hurt and anger and frustration. I mean I did all the right things ie taking meds like I should have eaten all tghe right things done all the tests etc etc etc and it still didn't help. I just don't know what the hell I'm meant to do right now. I know I've been through this before and have come out the other side but this one is just hurting soooo much more for some reason.
I'm just so thankful to the hospital staff at Belmont on Thursday and the the staff at JHH yesterday were great too even though I had to beg for an ultra sound to confirm what I knew deep down was going on. And the poor young Dr who had to do my procedure last night I wouldn't have wished that apon my worst enemy he composed himself so so well that I wouldn't have any idea how nervous he was until the lovely nurse told me about it afterwards.
Anyway I'm sorry for all that. I'm going to go now and probably won't be back on here for a couple of weeks as we are still going away tomorrow.
I wish you all a much happier Christmas and New year and please if someone can let me know via text when Spring has her bub that would be great.

Spring I wish you all the very best and can't wait to hear about the wonderful birth of your baby.

Babe you know I'll keep in touch while you're away and will keep you updated if anything big happens (although I'll be away without internet access from the 27th probably till the 2nd so someone better txt me too!)

I wish there was something more I could do... but my wish for you now is that you and DH manage to enjoy Christmas with your amazing little man, even just a little. It seems doubly cruel to me that this should happen at this time of year :cry:

Please promise me that you'll allow yourself to grieve though - I know you will be around people that you will want to shield yourself from, but make sure you take the time out you need to grieve, to cry, to scream. Long walks on the beach babe...:hug:

You guys are constantly in my thoughts.

Mako - :cry: what awfully sad news to read. I know everyone one of us in here has some understanding of what you are going through - but honestly it really grieves me that any of us must go through hell more than once. Wish I had more words of wisdom to impart, but I'm just so very sorry you have lost another little bubba, and just before Christmas to make it worse. Take care of yourself honey, and don't get roped into doing anything you do not feel up too over the next couple of weeks/Christmas, be kind to yourself, and you know we are all here anytime. Cuddle that cute little man a bit harder and take care. Lee xo

Mako - aww hun i honestly wish there was a little button i could push to make your pain go away!! Life truely does suck at times. And its always the nice/beautiful ppl who seem to get the bad deal. I hope you, DH and your sweet little boy try and enjoy christmas. I know how hard it is to be "cheerful" when you are grieving.
As soon as you get home from holiday we are meeting up for a BIG hug!!!! xoxo

MAKO _ My beautiful friend, I"m so sorry to hear that your little angel has flown. You know we are all hear with listening ears (more like reading eyes), to help you through in every little way we can.

MICHELLE _ Happiest of birhthday's for Miss Lily tomorrow!!

BW _ Happy 1st Birthday to the spunkylicious Sam! Glad the party was a success!

WILLOW _ How is your Christmas shopping shaping up? Does Miss V go to school 5 days next year?

RACH _ I am so upset to hear of the treatment you received the other day, that's just pathetic, I wonder how they can sleep at night.

LEE _ The ticker pic of Flynn is just beautiful, how has he been going?

SPRING _ Still waiting, waiting, I can't believe how close he/she is!!! YAY! I'm so excited.

FREYA _ I didn't get your mobile number chick, I'll PM you now & you can let me know if you have a chance to meet up.

BONHAM _ The thermometer way of TTC helped me immensely with my 2 conceptions after Jessica's birth, so I wish you all the luck!

ME _ Well nothing much happening here, my sister is still trekking to the hospy a lot to see my BIL but this weekend has been less hectic because she has been taking the kids with her. My kids have had a very lazy day today as they are utterly exhausted. We just haven't seemed to stop since Jessica's birthday so they are enjoying a much needed day at home. I"m off to work tomorrow, then I'm sacked for 2 weeks over Christmas. Oh the perks of being casual. :dance:

Love Jayne xx

Oh Mako hun, I am so so sorry sweety. I am thinking of you and your little angel. I just wish it wasnt so :hug:

thinking of all our angels today xx

This has been the cruddiest week ever.

My Nan was taken to hospital late last week. She hasn't been well for months and has seen doctor after doctor. She had two colonoscopies which didn't find anything. After the second procedure, she kept telling my aunties she 'just didn't feel right'. So my Aunty made her an appt to go back and see the specialist that performed this procedure. He had one feel of her tummy and sent her straight to the hospital. She has a mass in her stomach and they're positive it's cancer :cry:

I spoke to my mum last night, she travelled down to Sydney yesterday and saw her last night. She said she is in good spirits but things are looking 'very bad'. :( She is having a liver biopsy done today (Michelle, they're transferring her to your work to have this done) and then her dr has said the oncologists will meet with the results to decide whether to proceed with chemo or palliative care :cry:

I'm so devastated not only for me but especially for my Mum and for DD who adores her Grandma. She is the matriarch of our family and everybody will be so devastated. Since becoming a mother myself, I have even more admiration for her - a woman that traveled half way around the world during war to be with my Grandfather (an English sailor whom she met at Bondi while waitressing :) I love that story...), raised 5 babies, survived the loss of one to lukemia at 16. She is just an amazing, loving woman. I need to tell her that.

I am preparing myself to spend our last Christmas with her. Just doesn't seem real...

Sorry for the selfish post, I know everyone has their own stuff on at the moment. The world seems like a cruddy place sometimes...

Willow: Oh babe, :hug: :hug: and more :hug: I am so very sorry to hear about your Nan. Please don't lose hope yet. I know it is really really difficult but please just wait and see what the results bring and take it from there. I hope and pray with everything that she is going to be ok.

Mako: Hun, I have no wise words other than to say I'm so so so sorry you guys are going through this pain. I hope that you guys have a safe trip and get to spend some quality time together. :comfort:

Jayne: How is your BIL going? Any news on his arm. I hope it is only good news.

It seems like there is just so much bad news ATM. I found out earlier in the week a very good friend has had a mc after trying for a year. A number of members of my family have had terrible luck at the moment and there are operations and test going on left right and centre. I think we all need a :grouphug:

Here's to 2010 being a year full of blessing and good fortune.

AFM I'm doing ok, just busy and starting to really slow down. I'm more pregnant today then I've ever been so I'm proud of that.

Lv Spring xx

Oh Willow, I am so sorry about your gran hun. Try to stay positive and spend as much precious time with her as you can. I lost my gran, who had a similar life story to yours and she was my rock and best friend. I was devastated when we lost her but happy that she was mine in this lifetime and that ill have precious memories to treasure forever. Hugs to you and your family and may the miracle of Christmas be with you all xxx

Hugs to all and I truly believe the new year will bring love, light, happiness and tiny miracles where needed.

Lis xx