I am so disappointed

Well it has taken me 24 hours to post this as I am still numb and have been crying on and off all day.

We had a scan yesterday and it seems that Shaniqua has a willy. :crying:
I dont mean this to come across as mean or ungrateful or anything like that as I know there are many women out there who would give their right arm to be in my place, but I am numb and I dont know how to process this.

I think I went into a bit of shock on the table as my blood pressure bottomed out and I nearly passed out.
We had two scans done at 20 weeks because I couldnt believe after four boys we really were getting our longed for little girl. But yes thats the "toaster" we look for, for a girl and there is certainly nothing there to indicate a boy.
My excitement at been able to finally buy pink clothes, the pride I felt when saying "yes its a girl" the thoughts of all the girly things I was finally going to get to do I was over the moon.
Now at 35 weeks its gone! Why me? Why did they have to get it wrong with us??
We havent told anyone yet as I am not ready for the cliche'd responses and sympathy looks. I want to process it in my head first but I dont know where to start. I dont want to hang on to the maybe it still is a girl I need to start believing it is a boy so I can "grieve" I know that sounds so crazy because my baby is fine and looks healthy and happy but I feel like I have lost her.:crying:

No real words, just lots of :hug::hug::hug::hug:

DH was the other way around when we found out Bellah was a girl although its not the same they got it right for us. However an old friend of mine was told at numerous scans she was having a girl bought all pink, decked all the nursery out and birthed a boy!
I am so sorry you arent happy with the sex, is this your last pregnancy?

:hug:
I can understand it must have been a shock. Take some time :hug:

Hun, maybe you would like to join the closed group for Gender dissapointment? It will give you a more private space to digest all this and work through everything that you are feeling ATM :hug:

Yes five is definately enough for our household, so no more pregnancies for me.

I have only pink. I ebayed like mad and sold all my blue to replace it with pink. I put it all away this morning as I dont want to look at it.
I know I will be ok and get through this but I am struggling right now.

Oh what a shock :hug:. I'm so sorry you were told the wrong gender, it is a lot to take in at this late stage :hug:.

To be honest, when I first started reading your post - I was getting a bit peed-off to say the least (4 m/c & ttc # 2 for 16 months), but then I read further about you being told it was a girl, selling all your boy items etc... and I feel really quite sad & somewhat disappointed for you. I think Trillian's suggestion to go to the Gender Dis thread would be a good idea. I hope you can find some peace.

:hug: Oh hun Wish there was more I could say :hug: xxxx

wow i am shocked also, wow how could they get it wrong my head says. :hug: for all of you :hug: is all i can say or do i know how reserved you were when told a girl you were so suprised and just when your so close to be told they ahd it wrong is so unfair.
:hug: sweet
xoxox Kitty

Huge hugs hun :hug:

I wish there was more I could say.

You better make it clear to your boys now that you demand alot of little granddaughters in years to come. You will have so much fun spoiling them. Lots and lots of hugs to you.

Oh you poor thing. I don't know what to say so I just wanted to give you a big :hug:
Hope you're feeling better about it all soon. :comfort:

Oh i am so sorry to hear your hopes for a little princess have been dashed. I can't imagine what you are going though now after hearing it is a girl, and them now telling you it is a boy. :hug:
I hoped so much that my 3rd little bubba was going to be a girl. But i guess thankfully i found out he was a boy at 20 weeks, so it gave me a long time to process it. :hug: :hug: :hug: certainly look at joining the gender disappointment forum. I am sure you will find a lot of support there from women who have been in a similar situation to yours.

Hugs again!

All-boys - so sorry to hear about your news :( I haven't had babies of my own yet but when I visualise my family all I see is daughters - I have a lot of fear about how I will respond if I have little boys so I can understand where you're coming from - especially after all of the preparation you have been doing. Sending lots of love your way xoxo

:hug:
There is not much I can say without sounding cliche, but I want you to know I am thinking of you.
x

:hug:

I understand completely. I thought DD2 was a boy. Of course we are all happy she is healthy and everything - but I really wanted another boy :( :(

And that was my last pregnancy too :cry:

ETA - did you need some boy stuff? I can send you some boy stuff if you like :hug:

It must be a big shock. I just want to give you a hug :hug:. Are they 100% sure its a boy? :hug:

Oh - i am so sorry :hug:

This is a big fear of mine as DH and i have decided to go for number four -again- as after my recent miscarriages i still dont feel complete. I want another baby regardless, so we are going to give it another try - but i worry that i will be told its another boy. I was devastated when i found out DS#3 was another boy. I feel so selfish for thinking that cause i truely am grateful but i have a deep longing for a daughter !

I dont blame you at all for feeling the way you do !

:hug:

Take time to process your feelings :hug:

xoxoxo

I guess nothing is 100% as I well now know.
At first he said he wasnt sure but could see something but then he said he was pretty sure it was a penis and testes. It was more likely to be boy than a girl :shakehead::crying:

I have ebayed all my boys clothes to buy pink stuff because as you can imagine I was over the blue I wanted head to toe pink! Havent kept receipts from the stuff I have bought new and I have removed tags and washed them anyway.
DH says not to worry we can get more stuff but it upsets me that I have so much now redundant clothes and not even an outfit for a little boy. I wanted to get started on the hospital bags this week but now I have nothing to put in the babies except two white singlets!
It just sucks! Its so unfair!

It doesn't sound like he was 100% convinced it is a boy? Are you able to get him to do another scan just to be sure?

More hugs :hug:.

I am so so sorry... GD is not very easy for those who haven't been through it to understand how it feels (as some of the responses are testament to) ... Your feelings are valid and even if you had been told a boy to begin with I am sure it would still have been somewhat disappointing.

I am sure you will love this little boy just as you do the others and I completely understand the loss you are feeling right now.

xx

:

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I am so so sorry... GD is not very easy for those who haven't been through it to understand how it feels (as some of the responses are testament to) ... Your feelings are valid and even if you had been told a boy to begin with I am sure it would still have been somewhat disappointing.

I am sure you will love this little boy just as you do the others and I completely understand the loss you are feeling right now.

xx

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Ditto Tanya. :hug:

Stacey, big hugs! What you're going through is a form of grief. There's nothing easy about grief. You get through this any way you can, but be gentle on yourself. You don't have to feel grateful that bubs is healthy or anything you think you "should" feel. You feel exactly what you feel - disappointment, loss, whatever. We know that at the end of the day, you're going to love your baby - that's a given, so between now & when you do fall in love with your baby, look after you, feel what you feel & share the grief with your DH - he's probably feeling it too. :hug: :hug: :hug:

A friend of mine was told boy up until her 4d scan at 37 weeks and they said it was a girl but guess what it came out a little boy so why not double check it again?? You never ever know!!

I am so sorry, I can imagine the feels of loss you were having. I thought ds2 was a girl and felt a little bit of that sense of loss when he was a boy because i felt like there was really a little girl in there.

I don't want to give a false sense of hope but 2 out of 3 of your scans have said girl and it does sound like your sonographer was not completely sure, so I too think you should have another scan, I know you are saying you don't want to have false hope but if you are having a girl it would be a waste to buy new boys things, and if you are having a boy maybe another scan would help to bond with your baby as a boy, seeing as you might be in less shock at the time?

:hug:

I cant belive they got it wrong, im so sad for you! I totally understand that you would feel like you have lost 'your girl'! I hope you find some good support!! HUGS to you!!

You are grieving the loss of the daughter that you thought you were carrying. It must have been wonderful to be told that you were having a girl when you longed for one so much. Being told you were having a girl (twice) would have impacted on the way that you regarded your baby. You believed you were carrying a girl, a daughter, your longed for princess.

Now to be told that you are having a boy, means that you have lost her. You have lost your daughter, the dreams, the hopes and the plans that you had for her and your family.

And it is sad that it has happened close to your due date. Now that you have been told that you are having a boy, you have to re-frame all those hopes and plans. What you expected to be, will not be. That is a loss.

I am sending hugs and hope....

Aw hun, I'm so sorry :(

I can imagine how you must be feeling right now. :hug:

I was just popping back in to see how you were. I feel strongly about GD, so had to come back in for a squiz. I had been thinking about you a lot last night and how crushed you must be.

I will continue to pray that this 3rd sonographer got it wrong (and it does sound like he isn't 100%) and you get your beautiful little girl after all.

I have experienced GD as well. I was devestated when I found out DD2 was a girl and spent time grieving my boy. I allowed myself to do it, despite feeling bad at times about friends who were TTC-long term, and when I got up from my bed, I felt better. I named her that week, and I said "goodbye" to my dreams of a boy.

Its a hard process to go through and very hard to understand the range of emotions when you go through GD. :hug:

I know how you feel hun :hug: I felt like that with DD2. It was very different, as I only had one girl at the time, but I understand 100%.
I knew deep down she was a girl, but right to the second she was born & I could see it for myself I hoped she would still be a boy.
You will start to feel better about it & accept it. But I don't think that longing ever goes away. I have DS now & still sometimes think how DD2 should've been a boy. Specially since she's as rough as one, lol.
:hug: Thinking of you xx

ETA - I've got loads of boy stuff I was going to sell in a garage sale tomorrow. NB up. PM me your address if you want it :)

:hug:

You have named and imagined life with a daughter. You need to let yourself grieve so please do so.

If you can afford another scan then maybe do that so you know for sure what you have in there and if it is a son, you can begin to bond with him.

xox

I just want to offer you a big hug. And wishing you the very best in your grieving time.
xoxo

Just wanted to offer more support.

You are sad because you lost a daughter. You will be okay though, because you gained another son.

It must be really difficult, especially so close to the birth.

I read recently of a woman who had been assured (via Amniocentisis!) that her baby was a girl. So they did the full nursery etc... then when the baby was born, it was a boy!!! They had accidentally taken her tissue instead of the baby's! How shonky! At least you have some warning.

Big hugs! I'm so sorry.
:hug: :hug: :hug:

Thank you for all your kind words. :grouphug:

I am still very down today and teary and I hate feeling like this. I just feel so ripped off it sux!!!
I have friend who has three boys and has also been told she is having a girl. She is having another scan today just to make sure and I cant help but hope she gets told its a boy too!
I feel so mean for thinking like that as I wouldnt wish this feeling on anyone but I dont want her to have a girl when I was supposed to be.
I will book another scan for next week because im clinging to that little chance more than I should so I need to know one way or another. If it does come back as girl I still dont think I will believe it anyway.
I never questioned the ultrasound results with any of my boys and they were all correct, this time however I think I must have known because despite being told twice its a girl I still had that feeling in the back of my head (what if theye got it wrong)

:hug: I hear your pain, and I am sorry for the loss of hope you have bean dealt. Not fun. It is ok to grieve this as you would any loss. I will hold out hope with you that there is a little girl growing for you, but if not, it will be good to know for sure so you can fully let go and find a way to bond with the new little guy your having. Hang in there... :hug: xo

:hug: I am so sorry hun, I honestly do not understand what you are going through but I couldn't read this and not offer a hug. I am glad that you are going to book another U/S and I really hope that you have a girl baking in your oven. If it turns out to be another boy I suggest joining the GD group and talking with other women who have walked in your shoes.
:hug:
Nae x

:hug: I really do feel for you, it must be a shattering blow. I will be hoping and :pray: that the first two scans were right for you if you can't bear to hope yourself.
:hug: