Common courtesy......

Apparently isn't very common these days.

The other day i was in line at Coles putting my trolley full of groceries up on the belt. There was one man behind me in the queue, probably in his early 20's holding about 3 items. I asked him if he'd like to go before me seeing as I had a huge amount to get through and he only had a few things. He declined, so I told him I really didn't mind if he goes before me once again, so after a while he agreed to. The whole time he thanked me and even said goodbye as he left. Then when it was my turn the girl at the register thanked me and told me what a nice gesture it was to let him go ahead of me. I was a bit shocked, I thought this type of thing was quite normal and happened often. As I talked about it with her, she told me that not many people let others go before them anymore and how she hardly sees it happen.

This really shocked me and got me thinking that maybe 'Common Courtesy' isn't very common these days. I've lost count of the number of times people have raced through a door and let it slam in front of the person behind them. Or drivers who don't allow another driver to cut in front of them while at traffic lights.

I wonder what other BBers think. Do you let peole cut infront of you at the checkout if they only have a few items or hold doors open instead of letting htem slam in peoples faces etc?

I always hold doors or let people in (whether at the supermarket or in traffic etc) But I have to say, I do agree with the girl at the checkout - I can't say i've experienced allot of people who do the same thing.

I find people around me do these things. Not always the checkout line thing, but I've often had it happen.
I also had someone give me her spare woolies docket for a fuel voucher too. That blew me away!!

if i have a full trolley and see somebody with a few things i let them go first as i would like to think somebody would do it for me as they kindly did yesterday.
But i sadly have to agree common courtesy just isnt common anymore which is a real shame

I will often hold the door open for people who need it (even if I'm not going through it). Letting other people in front of you in the queue, well that happens too in this neighbourhood!

We had a bunch of trainees at work, and the kids (geeze I must be getting old!) were all going through the door, and letting it slam on the next person. I gave them hell and advised that wasn't showing respect for individuals ... anyhows, now all of them will open doors for everyone and make sure they don't slam anyone's face !

I let people go first sometimes. WHat i like to do the most is when they ask if i have fly buys (which i dont) i usually ask the person behind me if they want to have my points and to go ahead and scan their card. People love that! i dont mind cause i dont have them and it only takes a second for them to get theri card out if they havent already.

I always let people go in front at the supermarket if they have only a couple of things, but no one ever seems to offer when I don't have much.

I have had people politely stand and wait for me as I fight to hold a door open while getting the pram though - apparently it doesn't even occur to them that I would be a lot faster if they held the door open for me.

yeah I generally let people with a few items go before me or if i'm not in a rush and they have about as much as me I also let them go before me. What i don't like is when people think they have the ultimate right to go before you if they only have a few things- because if they waited 2 seconds then i'd offer!

:

---

What i don't like is when people think they have the ultimate right to go before you if they only have a few things- because if they waited 2 seconds then i'd offer!

---

That annoys me too!

Today, for example, I was making a coffee for a customer today who was standing at the counter when another customer walked in. He waited for a minute and could see that i was serving the customer who was already in the shop before him, then started to ring the bell we have on the counter. I turned around thinking it was someone I knew and the man looked at me and said "i'm in a hurry". I smiled sweetly and told him I'd be with him in a minute. What gives him the right to push in? He's not the most important person in the world!

I think you're right! I do the same in the checkout as you did quite often, but hardly ever have had anyone do it for me. I find people are generally becomming ruder sadely enough.

I am so with you on this one! Its actually one of my pet hates, the lack of common courtesy.

I also do the same at the supermarket and I am always surprised by the reactions I get, people are really surprised and thankful.

Yes I let traffic in.. however I dont think its hard to give a little wave to say thanks and acknowledge it! I hate it when people just expect to be let in or just drive out in front so you have to stop.

I also give my parking meter slips to whoever I can see around that has just pulled up, I have even put one back in the machine tray when there wasnt anyone to give it to.. I just hope it made someones day!

People never holds doors anymore, its so rude!! I had some old guy let the door slam in my face when I was carrying DS the other day.. it was obvious I had my hands full!

I could go on... its just one of those things that really irks me!

I have let others in front of me and have been allowed in front on numerous occassions..

Even though I am still on my learners (can drive just slack getting proper license lol) I let people in I am in no rush to get places. Dh is a little less patient and thinks why should he. I make him though LOL

I hold doors open for men and women of all ages. If I am holding the door and someone is coming I just hold it.

I find the rudest of all in the shops are the elderly women. They never move out of anyones road. Although iin saying that when I went to the shops this morning I came across 3 lovely older ladies. My darling children were being a bit silly and not watching where they were going and nearly walked into their trollies and they weren't at all rude infact they said.. Oh thats all right dear :)

So yeh in response to your question :lol: I come across common courtesy a decent amount but still think there is room for improvement. I do teach my children basic courtesy

I see it all the time at my work. But it must be the type of place i work in. But in the supermarket it doesnt happen all that often. When im loading my stuff and i can see someone behind me with a big basket i will compact my stuff so they can put their basket up. My DP is very rude he doesnt do anything like that... doesnt hold doors open, nothing. But i was brought up to be courteous of other people. As for traffic Canberra people are horrible, they dont even know how to merge into one lane.. :doh: and theyre great for cutting each other off.. :rolleyes:

I usually let cars out - my good deed for the day done!

In supermarkets... depends on DS. If he's in an OK mood then someone can cut in front. If he's getting itchy to get out, then sorry mate, I was here first and have a cranky son.

I hold open doors, say "thank you", give old ladies lifts home, share my son with the neighbourhood old ladies, stop children running away from their mothers (WISH someone would return this favour!) and am generally community-minded. Getting rarer where I live, but not dead completely!

We live in the country, so courtesy is a little more 'common', but still a dying artform IMO.
Manners sadly seem to be dying with it.

People seem to think that being rude is their right....if only they knew how freeing and how happy it make you feel to be polite and courteous, they might do it more often.
Being courteous does make me feel nice, selfish I think but it makes me try to do it more often :dunno:

You should move to to the country. I see it all the time out here - people still open doors for you if you have a pram and will let you cut in front in the supermarket queue. I open doors for people and I will often reach high item on a shelf that an older person can't get (but there is one lady, barely 5ft tall who shimmies up the shelves to get what she wants ROFL, she's a dynamo! but I digress) there isn't many people out here that wont do it for you.

I live in a country area Trillian and things like that happen here all the time. I guess i've come to think of it as normal. I was in a major shopping centre when the grocery example happened, I seriously thought it happened everywhere. I guess I was wrong.

I often let people in at the shops to pay for a few items if I have a thousand, lol! I have had it happen for me too. I also let people in on the road and I'm a pretty courteous driver, though that's not so common around here. People are just in such a state thinking about their own lives I think they forget that other people have their own problems too. I try to be mindful of other people.
I have tried to offer my free coffee voucher from Wiggles playland, more than one time, to people before when we were leaving and noone would take it! I offered it to several people too, lol! Only once has an elderly lady accepted it from me....:dunno:
Sometimes, these days I think that because generosity and being openly nice to others is so rare that people are taken aback and automatically react in a negative way. I usually try to e gracious and accept if it's in my favour. After all it not aonly make you feel good that someone is being nice to you, it makes the other person feel good in helping!

I always offer people with fewer items to go before me int he checkout and they do the same for me, maybe thats cause I live in a country town? Common courtesy seems for the most part to be alive and well in this town

I am in a country town too.. a town of about 250 people. The example I gave of the older man not holding the door for me while I was holding DS was at our general store!

I was at the airport once with a broken foot on crutches, travelling by myself.. also trying to drag along a huge bag on wheels. Not one person even offered to help me. When I got to check in I even had to lift the bag up by myself, even the staff didnt help. I was in tears by the time I had checked in, I was so upset as I thought I would be ok at the airport as surely someone would give me a hand.. :rolleyes:

If i have a lot and someone behind me has one or two things i'll let them go before me :D

I will just say this - living in London, I had strangers help me carry a large, heavy bag up from the tube to the trains. That's LONDON. You expect rudeness there. So for people to not do it anywhere else, especially to someoneon crutches, is just the height of rudeness.

Without giving myself too big a head, I think I'm fairly courteous when out and about. I'll find myself holding doors for others and such (especially my very pregnant DF!). Same goes for on the road, generally I'll keep an eye out for people trying to get in, waiting at a busy intersection etc. Annoys me though when I don't get the thank you wave!

But for me (especially at work) sometimes it goes a little overboard and especially when constantly passing through security doors, when do you hold the door and when don't you? Was it right when you make them run to get through the door? LOL here I go thinking too much into this. Don't even get me started on when and when not to wave!

I really can't handle rude people, they frustrate and annoy me, but being fairly shy I'll rarely make a big deal about it...

It happens quite often around here. I let people in front of me at the supermarket and have been offered to jump in front of others as well.

A few years ago when DH was in hospital for 5 weeks I was having to pay for parking everyday. The tickets were valid for 12 hours so I would always give my ticket to someone else just arriving. Most people were just thankful, but some seemed shocked and didn't know if they should accept or not!

Hi Leee!

With opening doors, I reckon if the door has time to shut before the person arrives, it's OK to let it close. BUT with security doors, they're security for a reason, so I never hold them open unless it's a friend I'm walking with. I don't want to let an unsecured person into a security-protected zone, IYKWIM.

:

---

Hi Leee!

With opening doors, I reckon if the door has time to shut before the person arrives, it's OK to let it close. BUT with security doors, they're security for a reason, so I never hold them open unless it's a friend I'm walking with. I don't want to let an unsecured person into a security-protected zone, IYKWIM.

---

Hi there Lady Zaidie

Yeah that's kinda how I treat it although I can't help but feel guilty even when they are a fair distance away and I let the door close...

yeah i find the security door thing always stumps me. especially at DDs kindy. i *know* that i should not let the person behind me in but i tend to :hide: i always have palpitations when i do thinking: 'omg, disgruntled parent with a gun' (nothing too dramatic ya know LOL!).

since having had a child i am AMAZED at how people believe that a person with a pram is a huge inconvenience to their day. i have people forever trying to push in at supermarket lines/public transport/getting through doors. it's mind-boggling. the other day for example it was pouring rain in melb (the massive flooding rain). anyway, i was 'lucky' enough to be caught out with DD in the stroller. i needed to get on the tram so folded the stroller up, put the bags on my back and had DD on my hip. all the people on the tram just stood there and watched (reminded me of sheep on the slaughter trucks TBH) as i struggled to get on (because hey, why would you wanna move to let me on??!). and THEY were the ones that had the AUDACITY to roll their eyes at ME?! got some of my own back by slyly running over their feet with the muddy wet wheels and banging the ones that didnt move with the handlebars...oh and they watched as i almost stacked it with DD (because no one offered a seat nearby...one lovely lady did but she was at the opp. end of tram).

grrr. as you can see i am still a *slightly* annoyed pg chick LOL!

My DH would have to be the most courteous person I know (one of the reasons I fell for him) so I witness alot of what has been mentioned because he is doing it all the time. Sadly he doesn't always receive the same in return but that's life I guess... you don't "give" only to receive. I also try to live this way. There is truth to the notion that people in the country are generally more courteous... I put it down to them having to protect their reputations more carefully! It's a big down-side to city living where everyone feels they are more anonymous therefore can "get away" with being rude and discourteous.

With the checkout thing: yes, people have let me through when i have only had a few items... and I do the same for them as long as I don't have a screaming child etc.

I always make sure I hold the door open for people - but when I'm trying to manuvere (sp?) a huge pram into a small shop and no-one tries to bother to help (we've got a Subway with a small doorway that the pram only just fits into - its one of my fav places - and there are seats near there door where people regularly are sitting) it makes you really think 'If no-one does it for me, why do I bother?'
If DS is crying in the car, I won't let other cars through, in or out - I just can't tolerate his crying sometimes and its hard to concerntrate if he's crying in the car.
And if I have a huge trolley of things, same as LZ, it depends on how DS is - which, most of the time, he's pretty good when we're at the shops

Sorry, double post