what happens now?

just had ultrasound and bub was still measuring 5week4days same as last week, and gestational sac smaller. i'm supposed to be 9weeks.

so what now? If I let it happen naturally how long will I have to wait?

And what if Dr wants me to have a D&C- what's involved in that? what are the pro's and con't of waiting v's D&C.

i'm still in shock but I need to know what the next step is.

Any help/advice appreciated.

Oh em.. :comfort:

I can't tell you how long it takes if you wait, as far as I know it can take weeks. If you are still measuring the same as last week it might take a while for your body to realise what's happened. This is what happened with me, my body thought everything was ok & was progressing just the baby had no heartbeat & wasn't progressing with everything else. I couldn't bring myself to wait so I had the D&C

For the D&C, it's day surgery, the actual surgery part takes around 60-90 minutes & you are under a general anesthetic. I'm not sure if it's normal procedure but for me because my body wasn't reacting as if it had a miscarriage I had to have the gels put on my cervix to start it dilating. I had to lay in the bed for an hour for it to start working before the D&C. Physically afterwards I was fine, minor cramping that evening (I had it done at 1pm) & bleeding for 10 days afterwards, not a lot, less than a normal period really.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this :comfort:

Oh chook, I'm not 100% sure but mine started naturally last week, so a week after. I passed the sack on tuesday just gone.

My dr was concerned if I hadn't started to miscarry otherwise I would of had to go for a d&c. There is also some sort of tablets they put up to help you start naturally if you prefer to go that way.

Thinking of you during this time :hug: :hug:

Mwah oxox

Em, the choice is totally yours. If you decide to wait for bub to come in his/her own time it could take a couple of days it could take a couple of weeks. With things looking smaller may indicate that your uterus has began to contract and the process may not be that far away.

I am thinking of you.

Xx
Tanya

Oh Em massive hugs to you hun. I'm so sorry this is happening. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Regards,
Dianne

Oh sweet sweet em :hug: I am so sorry babe, so sorry :(

I had a d&c at 8 weeks. Nonreal advice, it's completely your desicion. I went in, same as Sarah. Dilated, and...yeah. Bled for about 10 days, same as a period, with cramps all the way through. Lots of :hug: xox

em I am so sorry you are going through this.
I am with Sarah no one can tell how long it could take. If your already having some spotting or bleeding then I would say your body is starting to try and it shouldn't be more then another week or two (even this to me sounds like a long time when your waiting) the thing is you can wait and still need a D&C when you start to bleed as not always does all the products come away.
Me I am all in favour of waiting but you need to decide yourself what is best for you.
A D&C generally takes all of 5mins to do the actual procedure. The GA will last much longer so you will be asleep for longer then the actual procedure. Usually 30mins to just over an hour. As a theatre nurse I haven't seen a D&C take more then about 10-15minutes at longest. When you wake up in recovery I haven't had to administer any pain relief other then panadol or ponstan. Physical recovery is usually fairly quick.
Take your time when deciding. Usually you will speak to your Dr or midwife at an early pregnancy unit to discuss your options.

Just want to send you a great big hug :hug:
I'm so sorry this is happening to you
xx

Em, I'm so sorry to hear this :hug:

As to what to do next, when I was in a similar situation my obs said I could choose to wait till my body realised or do a D&C. Mine measured 6.5 weeks and should have been 10.5 weeks, so I made the decision for a D&C given I'd had no spotting or cramping at all (I'm telling you this so you know it can take some time). As Sarah also said, I found it easier to move on and know it was done - however going in for the D&C was a very difficult and upsetting thing to do as well. I didn't have to have a gel or anything, I just had the general anaesthetic (a very light one - I didn't have trouble with it which I have in the past) and then bled like a light period (it actually lasted about 2 weeks for me). I've heard some women get bad cramping but I did not.

GL making your decision & talking to your dr about next steps. I am so so sorry you are having to go through this :comfort:

Belfie

Oh hun, I'm so sorry the news wasn't better. Massive hugs babe, thinking of you xxx

Oh Em! Sending BIIIIIG HUGS your way darl!

With my first angel, I didn't wait as he had major problems developmentally, so I don't know how long it will take. With the others I never had U/S's, just positive HPT's and blood tests.
When I had my d&c (this was just over 5 years ago), they gave me some tablets to take which started the process of dilating my cervix, and after a 2 hour wait they finally got me prepped to go into theatre.
The choice is up to you though, you can wait a couple of weeks, and then make the decision if you're still not bleeding or your doctor tells you that there isn't another option.
For me personally, I think those extra few weeks would be a godsend, a chance to say goodbye and celebrate that little bubba's life even though it was so short. I only had 1 week bewteen finding out what was wrong with my first angel and having the d&c, and I was still in shock and denial.
It could also be harder, having those few extra weeks of bonding with the bubba you know you won't be able to hold or see grow up.
I'm probably not making much sense, but I'm speaking from the heart, and I know, much like everyone else who has lost a precious baby, how gut-wrenching it is to see all your hopes and dreams come crashing down.
Take time to grieve and cherish that small life that you had growing inside you.
Sending lots of hugs and I'm always here if you ever need to talk.

Thanks everyone, it helps to know a bit more of what to expect. Not sure what my decision will be because i keep changing my mind. Because as much as I'd like to wait, I don't want to have to wait any longer- if it happened in the next few days then great. But If I had to wait any longer I think I want a D&C to get it over with to get back on track again. But then again I really don't want to go into hospital and have a anaesthetic.

Poor DH was shattered tonight- he really thought we'd get good news, and then bless him he asked me if i can still get pregnant again with the one inside me now (i'm not sure what he'd think would happen to that one). But was good to see some emotion from him.

many many :hug:

the only thing I can say is if you let it happen naturally be prepared for some pain, with my last one.... I had light bleeding then really bad horrible cramps like I TMI!! needed to do #2 and within the hr my little angel had passed

my first was a ectopic and was brought on by methotextrate injection it took about 4 weeks to complete

2nd m/c was at 7weeks I bled for 4 weeks then had pain and passed bubs
3rd m/c was @10 weeks I opted for a d/c light sedation ... very little pain over within a hr and out of hospital in 3 hrs very light discharge for 3 days
4 m/c was the one I mention above with the pain...I know my ssiter said this is what happened with her

I'm sorry you are having to go thru this :comfort:

Em - when depends on the beta HCG level in your blood. A significant drop or a low level generally indicates a miscarriage is likely to happen sooner rather than later.

There are pros and cons for both a natural miscarriage and a D&C. More than happy to list them if you want to know more :hug: I am so sorry :(

Michelle: that would be great if you could list them, because before I make my decision I want to be well educated on both. thanks

Rach: thanks for sharing your experiences, sorry that you had so many.

Em I am soo soo sorry!!! I chose to have the D&C at 10weeks our angel was measuring 9 no cramping or signs and I had to wait 2 days for the D&C it was too hard to wait for it to happen on its on you still hold some kind of hope I found... You do what is right for you and what you are going to feel most comfortable with sending you lots and lots of hugs and love xxoo

Em... I'm so sorry you're going through this.

As everyone else has said, it's absolutely your choice to make and Michelle will probably be able to help you the most!!

In my case, I've had 3 m/c now and have had the D&C with all of them... mainly becuase my body wasn't recognising the m/c either.. the first time I was 10weeks but bub most likely stopped growing and passed around 6 weeks.. so it clearly wasn't going to happen naturally any time soon!! The last m/c I had though, I started to bleed and for me.. it was much worse than just going in for the D&C.. but everyone is different. With the bleeding came quite a lot of pain and I wasn't really prepared for the blood loss.. it was quite significant and after hearing all the options, I still chose to have the D&C. Each time for me, the D&C was not at all painful and I only bled for a couple of days.. with a bit of brownish discharge for a few more days after that. That's only me though and as I said, everyone is different. We were also told that we can start TTC again as soon as the bleeding stopped and we were emotionally ready, so another advantage for me.... we just want another bub so badly!!

Hope that helps but Michelle will be able to help with the pros and cons of each.

Take care.

Kel xxxx

Me: 32 DH: 34
3 precious angels

*** WARNING*** Graphic descriptions contained within






With the natural miscarriage option there is no surgery. Your body manages the loss of your baby through recognition of the decreasing hormone levels. You will often have the equivalent of a heavy menstrual period - the amount of pain varies and often depends on your usual pain during menses. It can be managed with strong, oral pain medication though so there is no need to manage the pain without it. The amount of blood lost should be like a heavy period and there may be clots. At the development stage of your baby, there will be nothing that is recognisable that you will pass (sorry to be so graphic :() You can manage the loss of your baby at home, in a supportive environment and with whatever you need to manage the physical / emotional / psychological pain. On the negative side, there are some occasions when natural miscarriage is incomplete and requires a D&C anyway. The risk of infection is small but still a possibility. It may also take a while - days to weeks to commence depending on your hormone levels. No one can predict when it will / can happen. You also need to be sure it is the option for you. Some women just want it all over, and some want to manage their loss in their own way. Neither is wrong.

With the surgical option you are required to have a general anaesthetic and the risks that are associated with that. The procedure requires the dilation of the cervix and the removal of the pregnancy either through suction or scraping. The risks include damage to the uterus / bladder / rectum and the removal of too much endometrium resulting in syndromes such as Asherman's syndrome. A lot of this is *operator dependent* so a more skilled clinician is less likely to have these complications. The advantages are that it is all completed within a very short time frame which is preferable for many women.

Obviously theses are not all of the risks or advantages / disadvantages but it may help you make a decision or ask more detailed questions of your health care provider. It may be that you change your mind many times over the next few days too. If you choose a natural miscarriage you can decide on surgical management at any time. You aren't stuck with the original decision if things change or if you find the process to hard to manage. Good luck :hug:

I'm only new to this forum but have been holding my breath waiting for your news while lurking ... I'm so sorry the news was not good.

I have been where you are three times myself, all before 8 weeks, and let nature take its course each time. I tend to miscarry 3 to 4 weeks after the embryo stops developing. The initial cramping can be painful, but I just breathe through it and haven't needed painkillers. A heat-pack helps. It's important to get lots of rest and give yourselves time to grieve.

The clotting can be pretty nasty, but after the worst clots pass, the bleeding in my case is always very light and lasts a total of about seven days. The cramping stops for me after the biggest clots pass. I have of course considered a D&C each time, but wanted a sense of closure where I felt nature was still in control. It's important to have a follow-up u/s to check that all "products of conception" have passed safely.

All the best, whatever you decide.

Thanks for that Michelle, will definitely think about that and see how I go. hmm but i'm still so indecisive. But have even stopped spotting now- so if it is going to happen on it's own it's taking forever!

I had a D&C at 10 weeks, baby was 6 weeks 4 days, missed miscarriage. It was christmas so I went with the D&C cos I just wanted it to be over. Surgery went well, spotting for 2 weeks afterwards, AF 4 weeks after that, back in normal cycle and trying again now. I was told it could take a while for anything to happen naturally, I'd had no spotting, and that a D&C might be needed anyway. My only advice would be if you do go with a D&C to get suction, not curettage, as it doesn't carry the same scarring risks. And dont do any exercise or heavy lifting after, cos you can start to bleed again.

Good luck for the days ahead, we're all thinking of you. xoxo

em I'm so sorry :hug:

well i've been trying to get to talk to the Dr about my results all day- but for some reason they don't have my results yet. So the receptionist (probably got sick of me ringing up) said she will get him to ring me as soon as they come in! Thankgoodness cos I get nervous everytime I have to pick up that phone to ring. Anyways more waiting whats new!

Thanks everyone for your support

Dr just rang, and I just agreed to have a D&C- scared as! but i'm sick of waiting for it to pass on it's own- just too painful for me to keep waiting. He said he will get back to me once he has arranged with the hospital.

Did I mention I was scared! he said either tomorrow or sat morning- i'm hoping tomorrow cos Dh is away with Army on sat and i'll have no one to take me. Man i'm scared, and I know it's my decision but still.

I am :pray: that they can get you in tomorrow. Did you tell your GP that DH will be away Sat and if he could wrangle a few arms and get them to see you tomorrow so he can be there?

sending lots of prayers and hugs your way :hug:

Cassius: I was going to tell him, but my heart was jumping around to much to say anything. Stupid really but I just get so nervous. I'm hoping if it is Sat that the army will let Dh get out of it.

I'm :pray: it's tomorrow hun...

You are such a strong, amazing woman Em :hug:

Send you all of my strength xo

Good luck babe, i hope you get to have your DH with you. I actually felt a bit better when it was over, I hope everything goes smoothly for you. Remember to be kind to yourself over the next few weeks xoxo

Em, I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you.

I waited a week and as nothing had happened, I had a D&C at 8 weeks. You will need someone with you as you've had an anesthetic - even if not a heavy one. My mum came as my DH had to work. She took me home and I spent most of the day in bed. It's a difficult decision to make to go ahead with the D&C but for me the wait was too painful emotionally. I was scared too and I've had a lot of surgery but this is v. different. I hope everything goes OK with you. Yes, my poor DH asked me the same question. I think it is much harder for them to absorb the news.

Thinking of you xx

Take care,
Alice

Thanks Girls.

Have been fasting since last night- and starving and weak at the moment. Dr just rang and he is trying to organise for me to get it done today so he will call me back. Hopefully soon cos if not today then I really want to eat and drink something like now!

hope they can get back to you soon!

writing this as i'm stuffing my face with banana pancakes(felt like them so had to make them)

Dr rang back and getting me in on monday at 5pm at this stage.

LOL.. hope you feel better after a feed :)

LOL thanks Tanya- feel much better! slowly losing my hunger shakes.

Banana pancakes sound really good - nomnomnom!

I'm glad you've got a date sorted, is DH able to go with you?

em...

So sorry you have to wait a bit longer. I agree with KitFaerie - i have had two D&C (suction) and i felt "better" in a way once it was over.

I am glad you have been able to eat now.

Thinking of you :hug:
xoxoxo

Em, I'll be thinking of you :hug:

KitFaerie: yep Dh is able to go with me which is good, not sure how i'd cope without him.

Glad to hear you have a time and date and that your DH will be able to go with you hun

Thinking of you xo

Em, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad you have a plan and that your DH will be with you and I will be thinking of you on Monday.