I was baptised as a Roman Catholic and raised by a Catholic mum and Lutheran dad (both non-practicing, and the only time we ever went to church as kids was for weddings, funerals and christenings). I used to identify as an atheist, but in all honesty, I cannot say now that I do not believe in anything. I suppose I identify as agnostic as I'm not done with my research yet and am still open to new ideas and learning more, but in my heart I know I believe in *something* - there is too much evidence around me to not support the theory that there is a higher power. At the moment, I'm leaning more toward, I suppose, Neo-Pagan ideals in which nature/Mother Earth are the life and soul of everything, that we and everything around us are small pieces of the puzzle that work together in perfect sync. I still picture in my head the Christian concept of 'God' as the supreme authority and creator of everything, I don't know how that fits into the picture but somehow it *has* to for me.
I too do not believe in Satan or a driving evil force, I believe that side of us comes solely from within and we have the power to choose our actions and behaviours, and I believe that unfortunately, too many of us have become consumed by our dark sides and do wrong even though we know it's a poor choice - I think selfishness, greed, and 'looking out for #1' have become overwhelming traits in society and it saddens me. I look at what we do to the environment, to people in other countries in pursuit of money or resources, and what we do to those around us in pursuit of comfort, money, 'fun', etc, and I can't help but think that we're a parasitic disease and sooner or later, Earth is going to have to take drastic action to stop us.
I believe that if there is a God, we were given free will for a good reason. That we all have a moral compass that is strong, that God has no control over what we think, feel, or do, only we have that power, but that God gave us that free will in order to give us the freedom to make choices - and to accept consequences. I don't need to follow the Bible's rules for fear of being punished in the next life - I need to follow what my heart tells me is right or wrong because the consequences will be present in this life, and I can't afford to stuff it up, kwim?
As far as the afterlife... I think this is where and why the Christian theory has to be part of my beliefs. I cannot believe that this one life we live is all we have. I need to believe that when we die, we are rewarded by being reunited with those we have loved, those we have lost, and that we are in a sort of paradise forever where we are comfortable, full of love and light and laughter. I feel that this life is a test of sorts - we spend but a few decades here (if we're lucky), it feels pointless if it's not for a 'reason', kwim? Like, if there's nothing else, I may as well not have bothered existing in the first place. I see people live through so much pain and suffering in their lives, I need to believe that those people's pain has not been in vain and that when they die, the wrongs will be made right and they can finally erase all the suffering they've endured and be happy.
Sorry, that was probably really confusing, but as I said, I'm still doing my research ;) And FWIW I do believe in evolution, perhaps 'intelligent design' I think it's called, wherein the Creator has some control over how things develop, and that it has happened (and is continuing to happen) over millions and millions of years.
Great thread, hun, very interesting to read what others feel deep down :)