What do you believe in - and why?

[Bathsheba]

This is where I am at the moment with regard to what I believe. As I reflect on my 40 years of life I have passed through quite a range of belief systems... ranging from being totally oblivious to atheism to New Age occultism to Christianity.

As a child I went to Sunday school (only about 3 or 4 times) so that I could play with my friends... it was Anglican.

At school in the 1970's (public primary) we said the Lord's Prayer before lunch... that is pretty much the extent of my religious instruction as I remember it.

My Nana was the only member of my family to attend church and she really walked her talk... she was very loving and tolerant.

My parents rarely discussed religion... I was Baptised but my dad didn't attend because he wanted me Baptised Catholic ad mum chose Anglican. When I was old enough to understand I thought that was very poor form which led me to reject formal religion altogether.

When I was in high-school the photography teacher argued with me about the existence of God... I told him that he didn't exist (I was living in hell at home in an abusive situation with a stepfather).

I experimented with occultism in my late teens. It was fascinating and some uni friends and I got addicted to the ouji board. I did tarot and believed in astrology, numerology... the works.

In my early 20's I experimented with recreational drugs. One night I had a very bad trip and saw hell down the stairwell and the devil in the mirror...as you do. The next morning, a Sunday, I took myself to the nearest church down the road. It was like I was on autopilot. It was a very old blue-stone church and Father Tony Noble took the service. It was Catholic. Father Tony was totally groovy... earring in one ear and pointy black shoes under his robes... I found out later he was known as a campaigner for gay rights and being able to include gay AIDS victims in Catholic burial ceremonies. Anyhow he totally challenged my view of Catholic priests... he was very down to earth... not pushy or judgemental. I became a semi-regular church attendee. When I was on Sickness Benefits the church provided charity groceries for me every Thursday. I started to think about Christian principles.

In my mid 20's a friend of mine (who I respected and admired both intellectually and as a person) suggested i read the theological works of C.S Lewis: the author of the Narnia Chronicles... and a reluctant Christian. I identified with his journey. His book: Mere Christianity had a very deep effect on me. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters and The Great Divorce were also influential.

Having a child really cemented my belief system. Becoming a parent myself i can understand the nature of God so much more clearly. The notion that "being kind" is so different to "loving" someone for example. Prior to having children I struggled to understand why God could be so cruel. Now I feel that sometimes it's just the way things have to be. My children probably think that I am being cruel when I deny or make them do certain things... but with a higher understanding of "why" it is clear that sometimes the most loving approach may come across as being cruel. I now believe that life on Earth is a spiritual boot-camp. Just as our physical bodies would become flaccid and weak if they were allowed to live in relaxed comfort everyday so would our souls if we were to live in peace and happiness everyday. Hard work and exercise are good for both body and soul. Hard times have given me more than they have taken away from the quality of my life. Hard times have given me compassion whereas before I was probably quite selfish oblivious. Hard times have taught me gratitude for the good times whereas before I took so much for granted.

I believe in a higher entity. I believe that there is a set of rules that man tries to live by but without God's guidance we have no hope because it's so totally against human nature. I feel the daily battle of my human nature working against what I could become. Intuitively I feel that the spirit endures beyond death. However we kind of have to use our time on Earth wisely so that our spirit can become compatible with surviving into the afterlife. Christian principles, i believe, provide a great template for this... but equally so do Jewish/Buddhist/Muslim etc etc principles. Like C.S Lewis said (and this resonated with me) you don't have to believe in a Christian God to get to Heaven... a good soul in outer Mongolia is just as worthy if he or she has followed the faith principles that are so common between religions. The main thing is to have enough humility. The most pious priest won't get into Heaven if, at the end of the day, they are too proud to be told that they were wrong... or if they seek excuses for their sins.

I believe in the different manifestations of God: The Father (God in the Heaven dimension) the Son (in the body of Jesus) the Ghost (the spirit that unites us all). I also believe that the evil is a parasite. It is not an equal but opposite force... The Devil is the fallen angel that depends on God and Goodness more than it would ever acknowledge.

I see God's work in science as well as in nature. I am interested in the writings of Albert Einstein who also believes in a superior entity. I don't see science and religion being "at odds" at all.

I struggle with Evangelicalism and missionaries. I believe that everyone should have the freedom to follow their own spiritual path. God gave us Free Will and no man should take that away (in a spiritual sense). I however believe that children should be guided by their parents belief systems. They are so vulnerable spiritually... just as they are emotionally and physically. As in those areas of life they need to be protected and given the resources to deal with challenging times. I don't believe in letting children "choose for themselves when they grow up" and therefore failing to guide them in any particular direction when they are young. I have seen my DH left to his own devices and this only resulted in him being uncomfortable talking about anything to do with spirituality... or even entering a church... at least when he was in his 20s and early 30s. Now he will join me in church and fully supports me allowing the kids to attend Sunday school so they can learn that talking about "religious stuff" is ok and normal. DH says "I just wish i knew what to DO" in church... he feels that if church... any church was made a comfort zone as a child he wouldn't have had the hang-ups he had about going to weddings/funerals etc in his younger days. He says he also intuitively feels that there is more to life than what we understand but never learnt how to actually talk about it... he was never given a spiritual "voice" or "vocabulary" and wants this for our children.

That's all that i can write ATM... great thread! I'll be back