What would you give up in order to BF your bub?
health?
career?
sport?
habit?
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What would you give up in order to BF your bub?
health?
career?
sport?
habit?
Anything but health.
Same:
Everything but health. I can postpone all those other things, but health is important because I want to be there for my kids and be capable of looking after them.
Anything & I'd even let my health slide a little too as long as it wasn't my mental health as I think that is really important to look after when looking after a baby.
Hope you're ok Kate and this is just a hypothetical question....:think: :hug:
Hi,
I'm not sure that I'd give up ANYTHING in order to breastfeed my baby. And the really good news is that you don't have to.
Statistics show formula feeding mothers have poorer health outcomes in both the short term and long term, and so do their babies. Just like at any stage of your life you can have health issues while you are breastfeeding. The really sad thing in our society is that breastfeeding women are often not treated for medical conditions that they are experiencing. Unfortunately they are often told that breastfeeding is the cause and the solution is to stop breastfeeding. And women accept it. Imagine being told to stop using your foot because you had a sore on your big toe that you couldn't get treatment for?
Career wise I am really proud of what I have done over the last 17yrs I have been breastfeeding - including a whole new career in lactation. You don'thave to give up the food you like - most women just follow a healthy diet. You could breastfeed on a tim tam and a can of coke if you wanted (OK - you'd feel like hell, but your milk would be fine) You don't even have to give up the occasional glass of wine. Babies are portable and you can feed them anywhere - a few days at home gave me cabin fever, so I was always glad to be out and about with only my boobs and a spare nappy.
Starting a family brings a whole lot of life chages - more profound than at any other time of our lives. It can be hard at first. It can be hard anytime. After you have children everything is a compromise between your needs and their needs no one entirely gets their own way again. And that is as it should be - but not easy at first.
Katie, am I right in thinking you or some-one close to you is having a tough time with breastfeeding right now?
i would certainly give up anything that would put my baby at risk, but in my case i continued with my sport of horse riding from when DS was 8 weeks old, i just got off to feed or expressed some EBM, i still had the occasional night out with EBM on hand, and unfortunately for me i had to return to work when DS was 10 months but that was not going to make me give up BF i just fought with my boss until we came to an arrangement about me needing time to express and or go feed ds. I fed DS until he was 14.5 months when he self weaned, yeah sometimes i made sacrifices about not going somewhere or having that drink of wine but it was usually when i couldn't be bothered going anyway or didn't want to express.
I hope you're okay Katie hugs xxxx
Well, I hope I don't offend anyone but I wouldn't give up anything if it made me unhappy. part of being a Mummy is being happy and comfortable with your choices and being the best Mummy you can be. I don't believe that giving up something you cherish just so you can BF is necessarily making the best choice for your baby. If I was an elete athlete for example and it meant that my training interferred with my ability to produce milk then I would formula feed if it meant to give up would make me resent my baby. Same with career - some women define themselves by their career and if giving it up to BF means they are lost and unhappy then that's not good. A happy Mummy = a happy baby.
Now I don't want to start a debate about breast or formula being the best I just wanted to give an alternate view. I know that breast milk is best for baby, but there are millions of formula fed babies that are safe, and happy and loved by equally happy Mummy's who haven't had to give up anything. Motherhood is not about giving things up it's about adapting and expanding our lives to include all that we need to complete us.
I don't imagine I'd have to give up anything that I hadn't already given up to be pg and therefore become a mother in the first place. I structured my whole lifestyle around having a family, and that was for pg, baby, toddler, bfing and now pre-schooler. Some of that meant giving up part of my health (pg and birth always affects your body - but then there are some positives from bfing), career (I don't work full-time and of course that has some affect), sport (no high impact, high risk for me - not that I was particularly into it anyway! ;)) and habit (sleeping in, drinking - not that I did much, but you get the idea). It's just a fact that you choose one path and others won't be travellled.
I prefer to focus on everything I gained by becoming a mother and bfing my child and now continuing to care for in the best way possible. And that well and truly outweighs what I have given up!
I wouldn't give up anything either. And like Barb I don't think you have to.
I gave up lots to breastfeed my babies. I gave up being selfish, thinking only about myself. I gave up overindulging in alcohol and fatty foods with no thought to my health. I gave up sleeping peacefully every night. However I don't think I could have avoided giving up any of these things by not breastfeeding, it was a natural extension of being pregnant for me. IMHO motherhood requires a lot of sacrifice no matter how you parent.
I gave up my 10c bras but I bought hot milk ones instead so I survived. Other than that I didn't have to give anything up.
I think that breastfeeding works best when a mother doesn't feel like she has to martyr herself to it.
I think that maybe there are things that you might have to give up to breastfeed but they are the kind of things that you gain by giving up - excessive drinking, heavy smoking, partying every night, a crack habit.... that kind of stuff. If you give them up to breastfeed then your health can only benefit.
Exactly. I do think we give up these things but I wouldnt want to give up the beautiful connection that V and I have and how she sees me as an extension of herself.. I love BF and that is from someone who was adamant I would NEVER do it....Oh how things change lol:
natty - I can't believe you said that and look at you now!! I think I might start a new thread. :think::
Just getting a bit off the point but yeah Jennifer, I even bought formula to use at home and threatened to bring my own to the hospital...then she was born and there was no way I was giving it to her lol.."You had me at hello" lol.
I would have given away my career and bad habits for children regardless of feeding method and I never played sports, but I have given away a huge chunk of mental health for breastfeeding.
My DD is nearly 9 months old and I have left her for 1.5 hours at the longest because she might need a feed. I can't get a break away, can't go out for a child free dinner, can't give the night time duties to someone else so I could actually get some sleep. I would love to leave her with someone else for a while and just have a bit of a sanity refresher away from kids but I am tied to her because she needs to be fed. A night out, maybe a drink or five and then a full night of sleep whilst someone else looked after her would be amazing.
And before anyone tells me I could just express, I will add that it doesn't work that way for everyone and I don't have hours to sit around expressing to get enough for one feed that she wouldn't take from a bottle anyway.
I completely sympathise Artechim. Expressing was a nightmare for me too and I never got a break from my babies apart from an enforced one when boytwin was in hospital. I know I will probably sounds like a broken record but it will get easier, and once your baby is around a year you will be able to get away for a few hours as breastmilk will not be such an important part of her diet. Well done for getting to 9 months, you sounds like an amazing mother.
I personally don't think you should have to 'give up' anything.
some people may be willing to give up things that others aren't but it doesn't make them any better at bf or mothering in gentle. As long as mumma and bub are happy, that is all that matters imo.
wow. I don't agree with this statement at all. I hope that you've accidentally missed some important information out of that sentence and don't mean to make such a harsh generalisation.:
I don't think I have given up anymore than I had while pg. I went back to ballet when she was 10 weeks, I work casually and I go out at night too. I never leave her for more than a couple of hours, but that is because I miss her!! (and I didn't express either...too annoying and she wouldn't take bottles)
In the early days, I did feel weighed down by her constant need to be attached to me day and night, but that was just an adjustment thing. And it passes so quickly!
I think women need support to breastfeed, and that means time without the baby and rest to help cope with the intensity of a suckling babe. Some babies are more demanding than others too.
Do you feel you are sacrificing too much Kate? It is a big adjustment when a tiny baby needs you so much, but I think that is true irrespective of feeding choice. Hang in there!
I have given up my fabulous wardrobe... All my clothes are difficult to breastfeed in.. and I miss wearing tight dresses where the sleeves don't easily slip down.
I have given up having fun days/nights at the pub with friends (because I don't like the idea of bringing my baby to a place full of drunk people)
I've given up going out at night! (Coz DD still feeds every 3hrs)
But I don't mind wearing looser clothes, staying in at night and missing out on the pub, because feeding times with DD are just ten times more enjoyable than all of these things!
Barb is correct, as most research concludes that breastfeeding lowers the mothers risk of breast and ovarian cancer, as well as protecting babies against asthma, allergies, gastro and ear infections in their babyhood, and diabetes and cancer in their adulthood. The longer the period of breastfeeding, the greater the health benefits.:
Research does not cover every mother, baby or situation. I'm not saying that the research is wrong. Agree with the research. I just think that comments like that when applying it to a group as a whole are wrong and short sighted.
:yeahthat::
I don't think i have "given up" anything... I have just made adjustments :-)
Breastfeeding my baby would most definitely have meant giving up my health.
For some, health conditions can be so chronic and debilitating that it is quite simply impossible to go without the appropriate medications to treat them. While there usually are some medications that can be used that are still safe to breastfeed while taking them... Where do you go when they no longer work?
For me... breastfeeding my son meant being in so much pain that I couldn't get out of bed. Being in so much pain that I could barely hold him as a tiny, 2.5kg premmie baby.
The medications that were safe to take while pregnant or breastfeeding where no longer effective for my condition. The medications needed to restore me to some sort of health where I could be functional are dreadfully unsafe to breastfeed with.
While I understand that for MOST women, it's not a matter of needing to sacrifice your health to be able to breastfeed, there are SOME women with health conditions that are so severe that it quite literally is a matter of having to give up breastfeeding in order to have some sort of relationship with your own child.
I fail to see how health outcomes in my family could have been any better if I had insisted on breastfeeding. For a start, I wouldn't have been able to care for my son, let alone myself.
Kate, I know that you also suffer from a chronic health condition. :hug: Sometimes it's simply more important to be healthy and well enough to interact with your child and feed them formula than to persist with breastfeeding and end up sacrificing your health. I know that some may find that statement offensive, but the reality is that unless you have also suffered from a chronic and debilitating health condition, you cannot know what it is really like to walk in those shoes.
BW
Of course every situation is different and should be looked on in it's own terms. But in general, across the population as a whole, formula feeding mothers and their babies have poorer health outcomes than breastfed ones. Not a nice truth (especially for people like me who chose to introduce formula feeding for no medical reason) but a truth nonetheless.:
Im with Winter on this one, Id pretty much give up anything. As Barb mentioned though-you dont have to, yes in the early days you cant go out and booze or party but even if you were FF would you really want to??
It's not that I disagree with the research. I just disagree with the comment which is stating that ALL formula feeding mothers and babies are worse off. I don't agree with comments like that no matter what they are about.
I see what you mean Mad scientist. I added the words "in general" to Barb's statement (in my mind) and you added "all" taking it from a true statement, to a fallacious one.
The one thing I didn't give up was the chance to have another child. I had to wean Charlie in order to do an FET when he was 11 months old, as my periods weren't regular enough for them to pinpoint my ovulation.
Other than that, I didn't give up anything really. I ate spicy foods (probably why Charlie likes it now), had the odd drink (and I wouldn't overindulge at that stage anyway with a young baby to look after), exercised and didn't really have any habits to give up (except good sleep, which wouldn't have made a huge difference if I had to wake up to make up a bottle anyway). I did have a cracked nipples and frequent mastitis with Charlie (not my first three kids) but even now, that feels like a distant memory, where the benefits of actual breastfeeding relationship is fresh and clear in my head - never mind the research etc etc!
Plus they grow up so fast. Charlie's now four and I still mourn the loss of our BFing relationship. It went in as blink of an eye, considering the larger scheme of things. I don't feel like I gave up anything that I didn't get a return on three-fold.
i agree that i dont think you should have to give anything up to breastfed, but i cant help but think that i have given up my health to an extent.
dont get me wrong i have no intention of weaning (though have most certainly felt like it recently) but im exhausted from DD feeding multiple times over night and not sleeping well (she has had recent ongoing ear issues) but im suffering. my hair is limp, im loosing weight, i feel like ive aged 10 years in around 8 months... but breastfeeding is the best thing for her and i dont want to give that up
Ideally you shouldn't have to give up anything, but in reality when you have to be near your child every 3-4 hours day and night it does restrict what you can do and it does mean that you have to give things up.
I don't believe I've given up anything but I've certainly made some changes. Although mostly they are changes that come with being a mother rather than specifically breastfeeding.
I think the ideal and then the reality can be two vastly different things. Each individual has very different issues etc that it is impossible to make a blanket statement. I also think that whilst knowing the benefits of breastfeeding it is important to assess the overall impact on everyone.
I struggled the entire time I fed both my girls and whilst I am very proud of hanging in there for 12 months there were lots of less than calm and serene moments. In my experience BF (and all other things to do with NB's) was difficult and I was constantly exhausted and really rundown (I was also anaemic after a PPH) - I did not have any extended support and quite a lot of external pressure as well as trouble transitioning from a full time worker who was very competent and effective at a job that is very black and white compared to being bemused and confounded by a non sleeping, colicky, bubba who couldn't tell me what was wrong!
I hope you are ok and not feeling like you need to make rash decisions. Try and take care. xxx
health? No, my health and the health of my dh is just as important as the health of our children. How can we look after them if our bodies are not functioning as well as they can be?
career? Yes
sport? Yes but there are plenty of other physical activities that a mum could do instead of a sport which was interfering with breast feeding
habit? Yes
There is a little debating going on about a comment along the lines of breast is best. I know that research can slant their findings to support any view, full stop. There is no debating that fact. I agree with mad scientist and I would question what cross section of the population was actually involved in the research? I think breast is probably best for your average healthy woman as far as nutrition goes for their babies. Having said that I'd go as far as to say that the majority of woman in the world (yes when you look at the global population I'd say the majority) do not have access to great food and or lifestyle options or choose a less than optimal lifestyle to be producing milk which is nourishing to their babies. In these cases maybe formula is a better choice for them. Then there are so many other factors to consider also such as mental health and the general wellbeing for mother and the rest of the family. It is a shame that many woman who formula feed feel shun by society as 'bad mothers' just as many woman who end up have having a cesarean feel a huge amount of guilt.
Kate if you are asking this question for yourself or a friend my advice would be to take care of yourself 1st because that is ultimately taking care of your baby :hug:
Only things I really gave up were caffeine & alcohol.. and that was my choice.. i know you can actually still have them whilst breastfeeding.
I find it a strange question actually.. cos the answers to me are the same as how I would answer what I would give up to be a mother. Why be specific about breastfeeding? Why not What did you give up in order to change nappies 10 times a day?
I guess I've given up a lot of time to be a mum. But to be honest, on the feeding front, I think more time would be given up to formula feed.
I see your point, however science has determined that even when a mother is malnourished she can still produce good quality milk for her baby. In addition when a baby is raised in a household with poor nutrition he/she is more likely to be exposed to disease or poor health so the immune benefits of breastmilk are even more important. Also if a mother is desperately poor and unable to feed herself properly then the introduction of formula is an expense which is likely to tip the family over the edge. 1.5 million children (data from baby milk action) die worldwide due to not being breastfed, and the majority of these children are in poor families where the mother has been convinced her milk is not good enough due to her diet. Sadly the parents cannot afford formula in correct proportions so water it down or mix it with dirty water (as that is all they have access to) and this is where babies die. In poor families with little or no access to health care I would argue that breastfeeding is far more important an issue than it is in our wealthy western society.:
Of course mental health is an important issue when determining to continue BFing or not, and issues such as medication and illicit drug use must also be taken into account. So must personal choice, regardless of the reason why. However the research as it stands is IMHO indisputable. Breast is natural, normal, and formula is an inferior product which is a perfectly valid choice but the fact that it comes with an added risk to babies and mothers must be considered in the interests of informed choice.
Yup anything but my heath!
The only thing I felt like I gave up some times was my social life...but in reality I didn't.
Because I breast fed DS til he was almost 2, I couldn't leave him with my mum over night til he was well over 1, as he couldn't settle if he woke without the boob. So I couldn't go have a big night out, then come home & sleep it off like everyone else my age was doing. But I survived. I still had drinks when friends came here.
I never had a career, & my mental state would've been alot worse had I not been able to breast feed this time around, so I don't think I can really comment there...
As a follow up to the statement made my Mad Scientist...
If I were to have persisted in trying to breastfeed my son, there is no doubt that the health outcome would have been entirely worse. No arguments.
If you have a severe, chronic health condition that is virtually disabling even with medications, then ceasing those medications will quite likely result in a mother who can do nothing more than breastfeed her child.
It's all well and good to say that there are medication options that are safe - but what if those medications aren't good enough?
Without experiencing that sort of chronic, disabling medical condition, you simply can not state that breast is best in that case. I know it's only a small minority of women that are effected like me.
BW