Dummyholics Anonymous

Hi my name is thepixie and my DD is a dummyholic. It's been two weeks since her last dummy. She still asks for it several times a day (her favourite one, the 'onage' one), usually accompanied by tears. When she is tired or angry or hurts herself she asks for it. We have explained that she is a big girl now and doesn't need it anymore, but she is struggling with it. We stopped BFing at the same time and that doesn't seem to have caused anywhere near as much of an issue for her. I struggle sometimes to hold my resolve, sometimes because it can be a struggle to deal with a day of tantrums when I know if I gave her a dummy she would be a quiet little lamb, and sometimes because I feel for her finding it so hard to give up.
Anyone else going through withdrawal who wants to be my sponsor when I'm ready to cave?

We're not quite at the point of addiction here, but my friend's daughter was such a dummyholic that when my friend denied her addiction she STOLE dummies off the babies at her crèche, straight out of their mouths!

She also nicked one out of the rubbish bin when her Mum had thrown it away :doh:

Last night we were at friends' house and their nearly three year old offered her one when she was very tired/ past bedtime/ on couch with a blankie :wall: not the 3 year old's fault though, she didn't know....

Ok DD is nearly 3.5 and STILL has one :doh: OVER it - she only has it at nap time and bedtime but we are well and truly ready for it to go. Ours is going to the "Dummy Fairy" who is going to leave something behind to say thanks to DD for giving her dummies to the baby fairies who need them :rolleyes: I am aiming for the school holidays because I am worried about how she will go so I will definitely hold your hand! :) How has your DD been today after last night Pixie?

My 3yo still has a dummy - only at bedtime. She leaves her dummy on her pillow when she gets out of bed and doesn't touch it until nap time or bedtime at night. I don't know how to break the habbit - my 2 yo also has a dummy as does my 11 month old. We have dummies all over the house and I am not sure it is going to be an easy habbit to break. No-one really knows she still has a dummy because it is only a bed time thing and we don't discuss it with our other friends who were anti-dummy to start with. My brother had a bottle until he was 6. My mum threw his bottle away, but because we had a younger brother, he would steal my other brother's bottle until Mum gave up trying to stop him. He eventually stopped using a bottle by himself. I am a bit worried that there would be some dummy stealing going on if I was to stop dummy use. I am kind of hoping she will give it up on her own sometime ... is that being too wishful?

ETA: We posted at the same time. So glad to know I am not alone in the 3 yo with a dummy!

I have a DD with a nearly 24hour a day habbit :wall: i am scared at the thought of rehab :lol: I think we need to start weening her off so we can quit the habbit soon

And here's me feeling awful about my 20 month old still having a dummy!

He's a total addict. It doesn't help that he's teething... We try to keep it only for sleep times, but now that it appears he's developing asthma he's just so unhappy and we usually give in for the sake of peace. I can't take it off him when he wakes up - I just have to wait for him to give it up for some reason and hope that I'm quick enough to grab it and hide it before he gets it back in his mouth again!

He doesn't have a word for dummy yet... but he walks around with his hand smooshed into his face when he's desperate for one...

I actually have the horrible feeling that the dummy will be like his wrap - needed for day sleeps up until he stops having day sleeps is my prediction!

BW

Yep, you can add my DD to the list. She is just over 2 1/2 and it took sooooo much effort, frustration and tears to reduce the dummy usage to bed and nap time only, but she STILL asks for it during the day or sneaks it out of her room when she thinks I am not watching. And yep, every time she is tired or hurts herself, she starts wailing for it. I have found it so hard to stick to my guns at times and I shudder to think of how I am going to get it off her for good....

FYI, I didn't have a dummy BUT I sucked my thumb until I was 8y/o. My Mum encouraged me to stop, but didn't want to pressure me. I put a lot of pressure on myself though, because at 8 y/O I was too afraid to go on sleepovers in case my friends discovered that I was a thumb-sucker. I don't know how, but at some point I just stopped sucking and settled myself to sleep without it. At least the dummies can be removed...thumbs can't!

We havent admitted to be addicted to dummies. Still in the denial phase and not accepting that we need help.

On a helpful note to others, DD has a soft cuddle toy that I tell her to go and get and give a cuddle to whch she does and it calms her down quite quickly.

If it helps anyone at all - DS was ridiculously addicted to his and gave it up just before he turned 3. A couple of days asking for it, and then being explained to that the dummy fairy took it - and heres a present for being such a good boy - he gave it up quite easily.

So even if the mountain seems to big to climb guys - it may not be as bad as you are expecting. Just buy lots of little presents around from the "dummy fairies" for them being so big and brave at giving up their dummies ;)

BellaBambina - mine has a soft toy too!! It changes every few weeks but she won't sleep without it! Same with J who also has his teddy that he is very attached too but no dummy for him thanks goodness!
JM - DD's dummy falls out of her mouth all the time while she is sleeping and that is why we are up a million times a night. Drives me nuts because J sleeps through from 7-7 but she will lose the dummy in the night and wake us up to help her find it. 4 weeks - it's GOING!!!! :rofl:

We're trying to introduce a toy for Sam to cuddle in order to replace the dummy - not really working just yet. But I'm also quite happy to say that he's still really little and I won't really be trying too hard until he's older.

BW

Tanstar - Our DD's were born in the same month I realised looking at your sig (May 2007). Mine just uses her dummy to fall asleep but usually it falls out and if she wakes up in the night she puts it back in herself, but I think most of the time once it falls out, she doesn't use it again until morning when she wakes up and has a suck :) I think I would go postal if I had to get up and find her dummy all night long.

DD still has a dummy. Ive weaned her down to only sleeps now and next step will be only sleeps at home, not out. I did the same with DS and once he turned 3, it may sound cruel but it worked.. we told him once you turn 3 if you have a dummy your teeth will fall out. :lol: It worked though. He asked for it the first night i took it away and i reminded him theyre gone, and that was it. He was fine since. So, if nothing changes with DD, ill prob try the same trick.

Thank you all for the support! Nice to know I'm not alone with a toddler with a crack-like addiction to the dummy. We haven't made a big deal out of it, just stopped giving it to her, trying to give her lots of cuddles and support instead .... get kicked a lot these days though :rolleyes:
She has suddenly developed a thing for a little pink blankie she has had since she was born and will cuddle up on the couch with a blankie now. Helps in the evening but it's not the same. She does seem to be sleeping a fair bit better without it, so hopefully it has been worth it.
For those with long term dummyholics, my younger brother had a dummy till he was 8 :o

DS went cold turkey when he was just over 3! DH cut the tops off them all and DS said they were broken. It didn't stop him trying to buy new ones every time we went to a chemist though LOL He tried for about a month but now is over them.

DD1 was an addict until 4 :o when the dentist told her to give up so she gave the dummies - she had 4 :rolleyes: - to the ducklings. We had them attached to little bears to try to get her to cuddle them but it didn't work. She gave them up when she was ready, and we said that school girls don't have dummies.

DD2 looks like she'll be doing the same. Since she is only 14 months, I'm not too worried yet.

DS2 is 3 in less than a month and he still has them. We had them all over the house. I rounded up all the ones that had gone flat/started to wear out and when I counted them we had 17!! Plus the 4 new ones. They are the only way he will settle at night quickly so Im not keen to give them up just yet ;) But Christmas will definitely be the end of it. That said though we have a 6yo that still sucks her thumb...

Another member of the dummyholic club here ... DS1 (2 1/2) only uses his for sleep BUT not only must he have a "nummy" in his mouth, oh no ... he has to HOLD another nummy in his hand!! And he's sucks them so hard they go flat within several hours. I check the teats to be sure he doesn't pull them off the handle, but goodness me I wish I could kick him of the habit. I like the idea of the dummy/nummy fairy taking them and leaving a little gift in return ...

AndiE - my girlfriend set it up with her little girl with a little bag on a tree outside, her DD actually put the dummies in there (after talking it up for ages!) so there was that feeling of her "giving" them away rather than them being taken from her IYKWIM. Then when they got inside her DH rushed out and got rid of the bag with all the dummies in it (Trillian might need a large bag ;) ) and they had left a few little gifts on the bed for her including a "sleeping dolly" When they went back to the lounge she was all excited because the bag was gone and the fairies had taken them to the babies. My DD used to have one in her hand too and my niece used to have one in EACH hand. :rofl: Ahh poppets.

LOL Tan, I have them in a large shopping bag atm. DH has told him we are giving them to all the baby lambs we have. DS is not keen on that idea at all.

I am joining the club, DD was giving up hers about 6 months back, didn't need it to go to sleep then she got sick, didn't eat or drink for 5 days and it was the only thing that would comfort/settle her.

We are very strict with it, she only gets it when she gets into bed at night and she isn't allowed to leave the bed until she has handed it back. But when someone else gets her out of bed she manages to keep it in her mouth until we notice, to which she smiles and hands it to us.

We should just ditch it but atm just leaving it, we had a sucessful transtion to the bed and chaning rooms so will takle the dummy ina few months unless she decides to give it up herself ;)

Hi I'm Dan and my DD is a dummyaholic!!! She is only meant to have them for her sleep overnight but she has cottoned on to me so now she tells me she wants to have a nap in the arvo then hides the dummy I give her for her sleep so she has one whenever she wants. The cheeky little munchkin has them hidden all over the house. She always seems to have one no matter how many I take off her.
I've been hoping and praying that she would give them up herself but I can see her packing it on her honeymoon the way she's going, LOL! I am thinking that we need to loose them all together as her speech is incredibly delayed because of her constant dummy use so we definitely need them to go. DH and I are tossing up which way to do it. We want her to get something for giving them up so we might do the fairy took them but left this toy. She's so into Dora at the moment I think I'll search for a plush Dora that she can take to bed with her as her new comfort thing. If it wasn't for her speech delay I wouldn't be as concerned as it is her comfort but the delay is getting worse so the time is fast approaching.

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AndiE - my girlfriend set it up with her little girl with a little bag on a tree outside, her DD actually put the dummies in there (after talking it up for ages!) so there was that feeling of her "giving" them away rather than them being taken from her IYKWIM. Then when they got inside her DH rushed out and got rid of the bag with all the dummies in it (Trillian might need a large bag ;) ) and they had left a few little gifts on the bed for her including a "sleeping dolly" When they went back to the lounge she was all excited because the bag was gone and the fairies had taken them to the babies. My DD used to have one in her hand too and my niece used to have one in EACH hand. :rofl: Ahh poppets.

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Ooh I like that.

My DD is 14 months ATM, so I'll let her hang on to her dummy for a little big longer, but when the time comes, I'll have to give that idea a try!

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Ok DD is nearly 3.5 and STILL has one :doh: OVER it - she only has it at nap time and bedtime but we are well and truly ready for it to go. Ours is going to the "Dummy Fairy" who is going to leave something behind to say thanks to DD for giving her dummies to the baby fairies who need them :rolleyes: I am aiming for the school holidays because I am worried about how she will go so I will definitely hold your hand! :)

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I could have written that Tan. Though DS has one too. We have just gone away for a few days and I have told DD that the dummy fairy will be coming soon. I am soooo not looking forward to taking it off them, DD in particular. I dread bed time without them... She's so addicted, plus it's pushing her teeth forwards too, so it's GOTTA go! I have to find a nice little gift to give them both and we are going to tie the 'nummies' to the tree with some pretty ribbon and make a lovely ritual out of it, lol! The fairy will leave a little pressie and card for them both....ahhh the joys!

I've just read the thread properly....oh man it feels good to know I am not the only one with a preschooler with a serious dummy addiction!!! DD still wakes a few times a night too, wailing for her nummy....DS wakes a couple of times as well and will only settle with a dummy. We own about 8 or so of them....:rolleyes:

I want to get rid of the dummies before baby comes and I'm hoping to avoid giving this bub one to avoid all of the dramas they present later on!

I wonder how I'm going to get on with DS (14 months) still has one? Not sure how i'm going to tackle this one.

Ds is 21 months and he only has his for sleeps. During the night he tends to spit it out and then doesn't use it again. Because he's still young I wasn't bothered about rushing to get rid of it but after reading all the posts, maybe I should get rid of it now so we don't have dramas later??!!

A friend of mine did the fairy thing but wasn't thorough enough in finding them all, so for weeks after they'd tackled the problem her DD kept appearing with them in her mouth after she'd found them in random places around the house.

Dan - Maybe get rid of both at once hun?? DD is such a clever poppet - you know she will swipe DS' don't you?!! that way you don't have to go through it all over again when he needs to get rid of his??
I know someone else who actually took photos and created a special book about giving the dummies to the babies - including photos of her DD, a bit too much effort as far as I'm concerned (read: lazy mama ;) ) but whatever works!!! :)

DS is 20 months and can't sleep without his dummy & puppy. He's usually fine if it falls out during the night, but when he's sick or over tired he wakes up needing it to be put back in.

I figure I'll just let him decide when to give it up, he gets told often enough by his aunt (almost 5) and uncle (almost 4) that dummies are only for babies so he shold give it up easily when he can understand what that means.

:hello: a quick update
Well we have good days and bad days here.... last week there was one day when she didn't ask for it once (it was a day care day though, so :dunno: if she was asking them there) but she has been very whingy the last few days, possibly not feeling that great. I just asked her if she wanted a hug
DD: "Noonoos?" (BF)
Me: "No honey just a hug"
DD: "Dummy?"
Me: "No honey just a hug"
DD: "Onage?" (ie. orange dummy)
Me: "No honey just a hug"
and she just went back to watching ITNG
*sigh* there are days when it really isn't easy because she has long whinges that I know could be solved so easily.... but we have come so far we are just persevering and things are getting slowly better...

We're finding success in squirrelling them away when Sam takes them out of his mouth to eat. He's had another tooth pop through so is probably a little happier now anyway, but we're at the point where if he sees one he wants it, but if he can't see it, he's fne.

Still happy to have them for sleep times - I'm hoping that I can ditch the dummy before he has a word for it. Considering the way his language is progressing, that shouldn't be too much of a problem!

BW

Oh dear. I've been a bit concerned at DD's dummy enjoyment. I was anti-dummy until one of the clinic nurses suggested a dummy to help her sleep when she was a week old or so. It worked like magic. But now DD is a dummy afficianado. She can get crawl up to one on the floor and get it in her mouth without hands. She can has a forehand and backhand insertion technique (awake or asleep). And once it's in her mouth, she gives it a little shake to get it in the right position.

Should I hide it now before she can talk? She's 10 months.

DD is 2 on the weekend and still so dependent on her dummy. We are working really hard to make sure she only has them at bed time but she has them hidden too. The rate she is breaking her dummies at the moment had me thinking that we should get rid of them soon. I simply can't afford to buy her a new packet of dummies twice a week. The only thing that is stopping me is that I am dreading the screaming that will come with it. She wakes at night screaming for it too.

ATM if she asks for a dummy I ust ignore her. If I tell her no that just leads to screaming so I try and distract or ignore the question. (gosh that makes me sound mean :blush:)

*maz steps up to the plate*

HI My name is maz (waves hello)
Its been 12 nights since our last dummy...were I bribed once almost 4yo with a doll that had to stay in the box for a week and only then after not asking for the thing in question was she permitted to open it.

We have been given the understand that dummies are for babies, not almost 4 yo's..even when tired, sick or being a little turd (were I have missed shutting her up I mean giving it to her) have also signed a silent deal that if she ask's for the offender that the dolly get's taken away

We have travelled interstate, had a major melt down with friends BUT have not asked for the item in question.

We cleaned her room up on the weekend and what did I find...a dummy which she grabbed and put in the bin herself. As much as i hated the darn thinig, I sort of miss the significance of it..eg the visual reminded that she is my baby girl.

Thank you all :)
*maz steps down*

:rofl: Maz!

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We have been given the understand that dummies are for babies, not almost 4 yo's..even when tired, sick or being a little turd (were I have missed shutting her up I mean giving it to her)

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:yeahthat: completely!

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As much as i hated the darn thinig, I sort of miss the significance of it..eg the visual reminded that she is my baby girl.

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and that too..... *sob* our babies are growing up