A thought on death - might upset/offend some

I had an interesting/morbid thought rocess this morning.

You see a few things are happening around me at the moment which has made me wonder about life and death and its cycle, and families etc.

I lost both my Nana and Grandpa on my dads side, then following Nan, We lost Nikita. Granted there was a little "unknown" angel inbetween but as far as meeting people in your family they were my three int he last 7-8 years.

Now some would call this a coincidence but I personally do not beielev in coincidences and am taking this as a "sign"

I have been wondering about and litereally praying for AF to come so we can start TTC. I am on day 3? maybe 4 without looking at the calander ... and around the same time my Poppy has gone from a bad to worse situation and we are litereally waiting for him to die.

So something my MIL said to me last year jus before DD was born "someone always dies before another life is given" (not her exact words but the general feel). It seemed fairly morbid at the time but NOW I am beginning to wonder about this.

We are not ready right this very second to TTC but it won't be too far either.

My thought was, Maybe there are only so many people "allowed" into a family? like the old saying goes as one door closes another will open ....

Does this make any sense? Am I being too morbid for some?

I do believe somewhat in reincarnation so hence my writing this I guess.

I hope I have not offended anyone, it was just a thought that has been bugging me all day.

Nae x x

I get what your saying, interesting thoughts ;) I believe in reincarnation too.... When I fell pregnant with my first pregnancy my uncle died, when I had my son my auntie died...... Creepy

See THAT IS what I am getting at .... I don't think its creepy, but surely its more than coincidental??

I don't believe in reincarnation but I have heard this saying before, I grew up thinking when one person dies a baby is born. Maybe it was just a positive spin my mum was trying to put on death when my pop died.
I'm curious as to where this belief comes from? Maybe do a little googling Nae, I'm very interested to find out, might check it out myself.

I think there is something to that concept. Last July DP and I suffered a loss at 14 weeks. Then in November my Mother passed away. Now we are 16 weeks pregnant with this little guy. I believe that my Mum had something to do with it and to reinforce that belief this little one's due date is on the 9th April and that is my Mother's birthday! Coincidence. Hmmm.

Hmmm interesting thought Nae

After I gave birth to DS, my grandads health rapidly deteriorated. 3 months later, at his funeral, my cousin went into labour...

I definitely understand what you're saying.. I just hope it's only a coincidence.. I like the thought of all my family living forever :lol:

I just got goose bumps reading this as we had been TTC for 9 mths before falling pg. When I looked at the date of conception (within a day or two as I had text book cycles with text book O) I concieved around the time my Grandpa died - within a day.

Yes there it may be a coincidence, but although I haven't said anything to anyone in the family nor my DH I believe that there was reason behind me falling pg right at that time.

Who knows but NaeNae I completely get where you are coming from.

TT - but they do live forever ... thats the thing of it, I mean ... well .... um .... perhaps a caterpilla is an example. The caterpilla "dies" and no longer ceases to exist in its current form BUT a Butterfly emerges in its place. Did have a chuckle you reminded me sooo much of my BFF "I like the thought of all my family living forever" soooooooooo something she would say :lol:

Arrghhh now to make matters worse I have that stoopid line from Ghostbusters in my head ....."There is no Daina ... only ZUUUUULLLLLLLEEEE" sooo off the topic :lol:

Very interesting thought hun.. i think there is a loss for every life but not sure whether it always ties back to the family BUT i was VERY close with my great nan, she always pestered me about being married or having kids, i fell PG with DD1, we weren't going to find out the sex but changed our minds, nan was sick and we decided to tell her it was a girl and we were using one of her middle names.. she died not long after and then i am 100% positive she was there for DD's birth.. i have also felt her around DD.. they are connected in some way i am 100% sure of it... and i do believe she had to pass for them to have that connection.

I just got goose bumps ZF

I too have been told about " somebody dies when a baby is born thing". I was TTC for 2 whole years with DD. Then my dad died from a sudden heartattack... i was pregnant 6 weeks later.

I agree in the theory, yet it hasn't happened (that I'm aware of) within our family.

I used to believe that a new baby couldn't be born unless someone had died (not necessarily related) because I believed in reincarnation of the soul. But then I learnt about population growth, and my manager told me that in 1950 the world population was around 2.5 billion and it's now around 6.5 billion. So an extra 4 billion souls have come from somewhere!!

But within families, I do believe that if a family member dies they will help you on your way with TTC or birth (why wouldn't they? If they could have helped whilst they were alive they would have).

ZF, I love your story about your Grandma. She would have loved hearing that you were having a little girl named after her - no doubt she was very peaceful after that and went easily :hug:

We had that in our family over the past few years. As soon as a pregnancy was announced in a grandchild, we'd lose a grandparent. My grandfather was one of 12 and it seemed that it was happening constantly there, we lost him also as soon as his first great grandchild was announced. It didn't happen exactly like that with me, but when I fell pg the first time, my nan was diagnosed with cancer just before that. I m/c, she was given the all clear. I fell pg again, and ten months after DD was born, my nan died. I hate things like this, I know how you feel :hug:

I had a lot of people telling me this when Jazz was born (my grandfather passed away two days before she was born). My dad tried to convince me that he'd been reincarnated... I do believe in reincarnation, although I also believe life begins at conception, and that after death the chances are that souls will move on to on of the other 31 temporary realms before returning to this one. I do think that he hung around for a long time though... a few weeks at least where I could feel his presence and I think Jazz could as well.
(and KTee, a bit of a side topic, but if you believed reincarnation from a Buddhist perspective, the 'extra' souls have come from the other realms :))

He always did say he'd never live to see his great grandchild. I always said, throughout my pregnancy "See! Yes you will!". Guess he was right unfortunately. But he always knew... from before I could remember, he knew. He was diagnosed with an agressive form of blood cancer 3 months before he passed away (never told any of us though :shakehead:), so not something you can really predict or bring on either.

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I had a lot of people telling me this when Jazz was born (my grandfather passed away two days before she was born). My dad tried to convince me that he'd been reincarnated... I do believe in reincarnation, although I also believe life begins at conception, and that after death the chances are that souls will move on to on of the other 31 temporary realms before returning to this one. I do think that he hung around for a long time though... a few weeks at least where I could feel his presence and I think Jazz could as well.
(and KTee, a bit of a side topic, but if you believed reincarnation from a Buddhist perspective, the 'extra' souls have come from the other realms :))

He always did say he'd never live to see his great grandchild. I always said, throughout my pregnancy "See! Yes you will!". Guess he was right unfortunately. But he always knew... from before I could remember, he knew.

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Ah, that makes sense to me! I have always believed in reincarnation but never really researched anything enough to work out where the 'extras' were coming from. Thanks for that, might start doing some looking :)

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So something my MIL said to me last year jus before DD was born "someone always dies before another life is given" (not her exact words but the general feel). It seemed fairly morbid at the time but NOW I am beginning to wonder about this.

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This is the way I look at things.
My dad passed 6wks before my brother was born,
A good friend of ours passed right before my cousin was born,
Another friend got sick right before DD1 was born and passed not long after,
Right before DD2 was born another family friend passed.
four days after DH's grandfather passed our neice was born 13wks early, and I am sure that he made sure she got here safe (even thoughe she only here for 6wks)
Another way of looking at things, DH's aunt killed herself earlier this year, a week later, her step father passed as a result of dementia, 1 month later DH grandfather passed away. I look at this as the aunt passed so that the step father felt safe on the otherside, and when it was gf turn, he felt safe knowing someone there would remember him....

Zara - gave me goosebumps too..
Leasha - I remember reading your birth story what feels like forever ago. You were very close to your grandad, right? Do you still feel his presence?? I like to think that somehow our loved ones are watching over us all, keeping tabs.. I really miss my grandad too... we were also close :(

Sorry, got off topic there

Nae, glad I gave you a chuckle thinking about your friend :) x

Wow, amazing how common this feeling/idea is amongst all of us :)
I kind of believe it, too. My aunty (dad's sister) was pregnant with her second child when my dear Poppy (her father) passed away from the same form of cancer that my Nanna had beaten just a few years before. I remember we had to delay the funeral for over a week as she lived in Brisbane (Nanna and Poppy were in Bundaberg) and was afraid to leave town so late in her pregnancy - she ended up going way overdue and then she and her family drove up the day after she discharged from hospital to farewell her father :(

And my own experience was finding out after MIL was killed that DD2 was conceived just 3 days before her death. DH and I had just made the decision to TTC and saw her on Sunday afternoon, I had thought about telling her we were trying again but didn't get a chance, and then just a few days later, she was gone :( I remember not drinking at the wake because I was concerned I might be pregnant, and sure enough, I was. Dating scans throughout the pregnancy confirmed the date of conception as that Sunday we last saw her alive... we had considered naming DD2 after her but we decided to leave that option open to BIL (who is her biological son, DH is her stepson).

Kind of freaky, but comforting in a way. It definitely makes me feel as though our loved ones are close by and watching over us.

I have often thought this but never said anything as I didn't want to upset anyone in the family
My ds1 was 6 months when my sil who was 17 died of cancer also in November the day of my aunty went into remission from cancer n my sil always said if she could take it from her she would n literally I think she did..
1 month later I found out I was pregnant then when my 2nd da was 6 months my aunty passed from cancer on mothers day again one month later found out I was pregnant but lost it 6 weeks later :(
My nan died 2 yrs ago n I was pregnant n she told me that it was a girl I never knew at all that I was my nan raised me fir the first 7 yrs of my life she died 2 days later n I lost the baby the day of her funeral prob due to stress
I'm now preg wit a girl n it's due on my aunties bday my sil's anniversary 2 weeks after my nans anniversary :)

Ahh my nan was watching me and this thread i think... last night i had a dream she was talking to DD1, sitting on the end of her bed having a chat with her, i woke up and silence, then out of nowhere DD1 was 'chatting' to herself.. the dogs barked, scared her and she started screaming....

So i say "hello nan"

This happened when DD1 was little aswell, i dreamt nan was standing over her bassinet, i woke up looked and nothing was there, went back to sleep woke up again and DD1 was talking to herself and i am positive i 'saw' someone leave!

I haven't read everyones responses, but.....

I do agree with the one person dies for another to be born. My Mum passed away in April this year and I got pg in July. I'm secretly hoping for a girl too for this reason, may sound odd or corny, but if we had a girl i would be convinced a bit of my Mum would be in her....IYKWIM?

I dont believe that it even has to be within a family. My god mother died of breast cancer I think and too this day i think that it was her leaving that allowed a special friend to fall preg after trying sooo many things. I thank her all the time and having her middle name im reminded of her everytime i have to give my full name. The fact her and i shared a fav colour and she was buried in a coffin of that colour makes our bond stonger.

So yes I do believe in that 100%

tellytubby, We were very close, we lived with him for 15 years of my life, so a lot closer than most people would be to their grandparents I think.
No I don't feel his presence anymore. Not for almost two years now. I think he has moved on now, I don't feel that he is even in this world anymore, probably reborn into another. :)

Yikes, wouldn't want to be related to the duggars :rofl:

Now I think about it when I was pregnant with DD my Pop died and now I am pregnant again DH's grandfather died a few weeks ago. When I was pregnant with DD I had a dream my Pop told me she was a girl and what her name was. I think it was an unfortunate coincidence that they died at that time but I like to think of them watching over my babies.

A thought about relatives dying after a baby was conceived but before birth (because I believe the soul is already there or atleast waiting at conception)..........

Maybe that relative is supposed to be the soul that guides the new soul (baby) into the world. I dont truly believe that anyone is ever alone at the time of birth or death. Some other soul is there to ease the transition, whether they are a relative or a 'stranger'.

:rofl: Heaven - It took me a while to "click" who one earth you were talking about, but when it did... I literally l.o.l'ed. Hahaha! Nope, definitely wouldn't want to be related!!

Leasha - Living with a grandparent would definitely make you a lot closer.. I can only imagine the heartache you experienced when he passed. And to be soo close to popping also. Must have been stressful :hug: I loved reading your post. What religion are you, if you don't mind me asking? x

Zara - That's lovely :) :) She is still visiting you and your family.

Buddhist :)