Today I'm feeling it is all too hard

This time 2 yrs ago my babies were alive.. I could see them, touch them, sing to them. They were doing well at this stage and I thought they were going to make it it.. This time 2 yrs ago my relationship with their dad was the strongest it had ever been. Among all the stress and worry of having 2 premmie babies, you could still feel the vast amount of love in our little family..

Here I am now and I don't have my babies and I don't have their dad. I am all alone feeling so empty and lost. Today has been 1 of those days where I just haven't been able to function. I was supposed to be at placement today but I just couldn't go.. Instead I have spent the day in bed sleeping, crying,sleeping, crying and wishing I never had to wake up.. It is so not fair, I miss my babies so much.. The emptyness in my heart is physically painful and I don't know how to stop it. I feel all alone and don't know what to do.. I don't want this life anymore it's too hard.

I have no words.. Just hugs.

I'm so so sorry xxxx

:hug:

I'm so sorry today has been so hard.

I'm so sorry, i have no words except to remember the boys are always with you, and they will help you through these times xoxo

Im so sorry.

I know there is nothing I could say that would make it ok, or even any less hard than it is, but I just wanted to let you know that we are all thinking of you today. Huge hugs. Life is just so cruel.

I'm sorry Blessed, it's totally understandable that you feel this way. I don't have any words that will make it easier for you. I hope tomorrow will be a brighter day for you.

Oh darl, I just coudn't not post after reading. I have seen you around the 'traps' & would love to see your memoir, but unfortunately, in China I'm unable to view it. :(
You sound like you have been to hell & back & my heart is broken for you.
I'm so sorry it's so crud right now, I wish I could offer you something more substantial than 'sorry', it feels so inadequate.
I just wanted you to know how much you're loved in here & even though you can't 'see' them, Taite & Seth are with you, every single step of the way.
Hoping that your day in bed helped, just a teeny bit.
Love Jayne x

Hang in there :hug:

:hug:

Hugs thinking of you xoxo

im so so sorry.
no words just lots and lots of hugs :hug:

Oh hun :comfort: I am thinking of you all the time.
I know that there's nothing anyone can say or do to make it better, but if there's anything I can do to help let me know :hug:

Blessed sending lotsa :hug: your way... I am so sorry that you feel this way.

Take care xx

I am so sorry for your losses, I have no words of comfort other than the fact that there are many people here who care deeply about you.

sorry today has been so unbearable for you,
we are thinking of you and I'm sure your ex is also thinking of you and them at this time, regardless, maybe you should try and talk to him....

I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better, :hug: Can you call your mum or someone else close ?

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way, it is understandable that you are struggling at the moment, you've been through so much. I hope tomorrow is a little brighter for you :hug:

:hug: :hug:

Oh honey, I am so sorry to hear that you're struggling today :hug:

xxxxxxx

I think of you often and think you are an amazing, strong, inspirational woman! Hang in there...:hug:

You are obviously very loved and cared for by all of us on BB- I only wish we could do more for you :comfort:

Thinking of you often xx

Sending you big hugs :hug: and thinking of you xoxo

Hope you're finding more strength today :hug:

Massive hugs huni...thinking of you always. xox

I'm so sorry Blessed, my heart is heavy for you :hug: You have an amazing strength to have survived all that you have, and I have no doubt that you will continue to do so, with your precious boys watching over you.

And don't forget, we are all here for you sweetheart :grouphug:

x

:hug: beautiful girl, i wish i could take just a little bit of the pain & fill some of that emptiness even the tiniest bit. i think of you often & send you much love & strength.

i hope you feel a little less alone today - we're all here for you, always :hug:

:hug:

Thanks everyone for your hugs and words of support.. I am a little better today. I actually got up, did some washing and had a shower! It doesn't sound hard, but it was.. I hate feeling like this and am working hard to snap myself out of it.. I have to remember that this feeling will pass.. I know it will, it's just so hard at the moment.. I am missing my babies so much and the 12 days of their life just keep playing over and over in my head. Sometimes I just can't believe it's real..

oh i wish there was more than words to could give you! I am so sorry, i can feel your pain rushing towards me with every word i read!

:hug:
You are by far one of the strongest people that i know,your amazing and i am so soo sorry that this happened to you. No one deserves it. One of my best friends seen your page on FB and asked me who you were, then went on to tell me how she read about your boys, and both of us were crying for you. I dont even know where im going with this, i just want you to know how amazing you are.
Taite and Seth will be with you always xx