Goodness me...

Well, I did a hpt at 9dpo and it was BFN. I was feeling okay, as much as my arms long to hold another little baby - I had another month without the stress of pregnancy after loss. I made an appointment to see George (my ob) on Tuesday morning. I had had a little spotting on Saturday and Sunday (9 & 10 dpo). Only scant, a tiny bit of pink when I wiped and then a couple of episodes of brown. I was concerned about a query hormonal imbalance that often spotting indicates... My luteal phase has only been 11 days consistently since losing our baby boy in March. I am a bit of an old boiler at 38 (coming up 39) so I don't have time to fiddle. So the plan was to take myself off to see George. I peed in a cup on Tuesday morning just incase... I am not sure why I did this... I purchased a test after the school run.
I couldn't believe it .... It was a feint blue line at 12dpo. I was shocked. I truly thought I was out of the race. I stared and shook it and squealed as my children began to feel afraid for my mental stability!!! Believe me it was enough to put them off their muffins! I dipped another test - no die hard pee on a sticker EVER buys a single test! Positive too. Okay we're talking feint.

Today the test is slightly darker. I would be 13 dpo today.

I phoned George who said a line is a line and berated me (kindly) for testing so early and being concerned about the colour... So, he doesn't want to see me yet! He wants me to have hcg monitoring but I am not so sure. He is faxing the form through and I will decide on Monday. His reasoning is that it will allay my fears and he likes to do this with all his 'high risk women'. He said it gives him a good picture and most of the time it relaxes the mother. mmmm. It's a hard one... He booked my first appointment for the 3rd of July - our 12th wedding anniversary....

I feel pregnant. I was putting all of my symptoms down to premenstrual symptoms. Reflux, tingly boobies, tiredness ... I had convinced myself that it hadn't happened this month. This truly is a shock, but the happiest of shocks!

Have any of you had an implantation bleed - this is what he believes the spotting was.

Well, it looks like I am back. Here we go again!
For now I am feeling excited but very cautious. I haven't even told my husband who is overseas on business.... I know he will worry about me and be concerned. He's back on Friday so I will tell him then.

Please send me some prayers and positive thoughts. This one has just got to be a stayer. I refuse to believe anything else!

Hugs to you all

OMG, what a pleasant surprise for you Deb. I am so happy for you and I am sure that this little one will 'stick' around LOL.

Good luck and wishing you a very H&H nine months.

Thankyou Sherieb,
I just realised I meant to post this in paml. Is there someone who can move my post? Goodness the hormones must be doing their thing hey????

All moved for you Deb!

And might I just say......YEE HAA!!!!! Wonderful news!!!!

I don't mind where you posted it Deb - I am so happy for you!! Send some of those *get pregnant* vibes this way and I'll send you lots of prayers and sticky vibes in return. Wishing you an healthy and happy pregnancy for the next 9ish months.

Wonderful news Deb, this ones a sticker I can feel it. :hug: congrats again hun.

AWWW thankyou all so much.
Thanks Nadia, I just know this one will stay with us.
Mel, you are such a fabulous and generous support. xoxoxo
Michelle conception vibes attended to, I hope that soon you get your sticky sticky bfp..
Thank you all again

omg! Congratulations Deb. I'm so so happy for you!!

so you must have got all our sticky vibes last week when you demanded them! whoo hoo

now can you share your baby dust? :D

Oh Deb, sending you all the sticky vibes I can muster!

Oh what wonderful news, I'm so glad to see you back.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE reading a post like this......

deb

i am so happy for you, i am sending sticky vibes your way.

take it easy

OMG DEB!!! Im so happy to read your post!! Im wishing you and your little one lots of sticky vibes!!! this is the best news! I would do the HCG monitoring hon its a great relief, I totally recommend it :)

Bel
xxx

Congratulations Deb, way to go !!!! What a lovely surprise.

I too had the tingly bb's and lots of heartburn in the first couple of weeks..... Can't wait to read more about your increase in HCG levels!!!!
Well done!

Beccy

OMG Deb, that is fantastic. :confetti: Congratulations matey. I am soooo thrilled for you. I am sending you truckloads of :stickyvibesboy: :stickyvibesgirl:

Huge congratulations Deb and lots of positive sticky vibes, hopes and prayers coming your way from this part of the world

Deb that's fantastic!!!!! Sending you heaps of sticky vibes and love!!

Huge congrats! What a wonderful surprise! :)

I too would recommend doing the HCG monitoring. Its been my sanity saver the last week or so.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! sending plenty of positive vibes your way, that's awesome news!

Deb,

Congratulations!!!! Sending lots of postitive and sticky vibes your way!!I am so happy for you.

Congratulations Deb :)

I'm so happy for you guys.

OMG Deb !!! I have goosebumps !!! I am sooooo happy for you !!! :happyforyou:
I know this is gonna be a very sticky little bubba.
Wishing you all the best for a happy and healthy pregnancy honey
:stickyvibesboy: :stickyvibesgirl:
Lisa

Congratulations, Deb! I am SO thrilled for you! Heaps of sticky vibes coming your way :D

OMG Deb, I can't believe I only just saw this thread!!!

I'm so so so happy for you! :happyforyou:

I know how much you want another beautiful bub and I can't tell you how thrilled I am that your wish came true. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person :hug:

Just the other day I was wondering when AF was due for you (yes, I've been stalking you! LOL) I guess all of the conception vibes everyone sent you really worked, huh! ;)

BTW, I too had an implantation bleed. I was convinced that AF was arriving early as I had quite a lot of pinkish/brown CM at 12DPO. I'd received a BFN at 10DPO so I well and truly thought I was out of the running. It definitely sounds to me like you've had an implantation bleed, hon! That little bubba is burrowing deeply by the sounds of it :D

I'm absolutely thrilled to bits for you...you've made my day!

Love
Goldilocks
-xxxooo-

CONGRATULATIONS!
Debbie

WOW Deb - huge CONGRATULATIONs to you and your family!!!
What wonderful news although I can understand you being a bit anxious.
Is there a plan in place for managing this pg? Oooh I am crossing everything that you have a real sticker and a long, smooth pregnancy. You sooo deserve this baby
Best of luck to you and keep us posted.

Thankyou to everyone. It's nice to have so many understanding women to walk this path with.
Yes, Meredith there is quite a plan in place for me! I am to have hcg monitoring. When the hcg level reaches about 4,000 I will have an ultrasound. Once a foetal heartbeat is detected (around 6.5 weeks) I will begin daily baby asprin and daily clexane injections. George (ob) will phone me on Tuesday with Monday's result and then I will have another level on Thursday and we'll go on until we reach 4,000. After that there should be somthing detectable on ultrasound.
I am sure all of those positive conception vibes helped - I am a big believer in the energy we send out. That's why all the good will in here in Belly Belly is so important, positive breeds positive!! So thankyou all for your positive thoughts and prayers. If you have time keep sending them!!!! I am feeling very calm. I am cautious but calm. I have a really good feeling about this little one.
Good to hear of your experience Goldilocks - sounds almost exactly the same as my own this time around!
Just know how much I appreciate all of your loving thoughts and support. It is just so wonderful to have you all.
Big hugs

Oh Deb I am sitting her with tears running down my face (very happy tears), I have only just found this post (computer/ internet has been playing up so I've been a bit scarce lately) & I can't say how very happy I am for you & your family.

There is no-one that I can think of that I am happier to see get a BFP atm, you so deserve this piece of happiness in your lives.

Wishing you nothing but a healthy, happy & looooooooong pregnancy & that soon you will be holding a gorgeous little baby in your arms

CONGRATS Deb! That is wonderful news

Deb lovey - that is the best news Ive heard all week!! CONGRATULATIONS to you and DH (even though you havent told him yet!). I am sending you all the sticky vibes in the world and praying for a h&h pg for you. You will be holding your bub in no time.

Lisa :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Well done Deb, congratulations.

Yay Deb!! This is wonderful news.
I had implantation with my first pregnancy, and it was a day or two later then AF was due. On and off again for a couple of days - very confusing! Specially since I was in Vietnam and was trying to decide whether to drink, whether to use a tampon, and whether to eat those interesting vietnamese delicacies! Happily I did all three, and it petered out after about 2 days, and the sickness swept in.
Wonderful news, I'm sure the HCG monitoring will be a blessing for you, and this pregnancy will all go to plan.
Fi

Thankyou all again. I especially want to thank you Kirsty. You and I have similar histories and because of that and because you are very special I feel a special kinship with you. Soon you will join me and this time we both will have happy outcomes. Have you any of your blood work back yet Kirsty? Love to you xoxoxo
Thankyou again everyone your support and kindness means everything....

Well I don't think things are looking so good. I did another hpt this morning (14-15dpo) and it was the same as the previous two. I am taking myself off for a blood test now. I will be okay about it. My thoughts for me always are if it doesn't stick this early on then that is the way it is. I have always maintained early testing isn't a good idea and this is why!!! Natural atrition and all of that...
I did think that I was very very fortunate to have conceived so quickly - and obviously I did conceive but perhaps things weren't in the right place...
I will have a quantatative hcg that will give me a figure but I am quite certain it won't be so great. I guess it's back to the drawing board... Feeling a little sad but also accepting that this happens...
I feel like a bit of a goose for sharing my news and then taking it all back! Another lesson hey! I am glad I haven't told my husband.
Thankyou again for all of your support

Just hang in there Deb til you have had your bloods done........

Best wishes.....

I have my fingers crossed for you Deb :hug:

Lisa

Oh Debbie, I am crying. I do so hope everything goes well for you. But I also admire the way you are thinking if it doesn't work out. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. I knew you were pregnant when your ticker changed. I just knew. I have to confess a little bit of jealousy at first but that was quickly followed by extreme joy. Please don't feel badly about me feeling that way. I really do want everything to go well for you. I want it to go well for all of us.

Please lets us know as soon as you have any news. We are all here for you whatever the outcome.
Stay calm, safe and know I am here for you.
BIg, big hugs,
Debbie

Deb, it is still very early days hon so don't worry if you aren't getting a really strong BFP yet. My BFP's took a while to get darker and darker. I was testing every day for at least a week! LOL I think out of all of those HPTs, there was only one that I was really happy with. I felt more confident once I'd had a couple of BTs and saw that my hCG levels were rising.

I'm sure everything will be just fine. Stay positive! :hug:

Love
Goldilocks
-xxxooo-

Thanks Debbie,
I understand what you are saying, and you are only human and it's normal to feel like that.
I am fine. I really don't think I am having a baby until I get past 20 weeks now. It is sad to see two lines and then see them fade but that is the baby game. For me it's important to be mindful that 30 percent of pregnancies are lost before 7 weeks. Once you see that heartbeat things are looking good. Until then I feel extremely cautious and you girls are the only ones who knew!

I would say those little cells didn't land in the right place or perhaps the chromosomes didn't quite gel. As you know it's better it happens in these early days than months down the track.

George thought it wasn't a good sign that the test had got slightly lighter but did also say that that can just be the test. The only definitive way to know is the Quantative HCG. I will get the results this evening. George will see me next week either way. If the result of the bloods today show that things didn't work out this cycle George will do some progesterone levels through this cycle and perhaps do a round of clomid to shorten my luteal phase. He suggested that perhaps the reason for things not continuing this time is that the luteal phase wasn't long enough to sustain the pregnancy. It's a bit of a 'who know's' thing but we'll talk about it in full next week.
Of course I feel sad that things didn't work out. I also wish I didn't have to go through another month of ttc! I've gotta get lucky soon though girls and that's all we can hope for. For me there is no point in too much lamenting, I will feel down for a couple of days and hopefully next week George and I can formulate a bit more of an action plan.
So, I will let you know my levels when I know them but I am almost certain that they will indicate that things will not continue.
I am really sorry I dragged you all through this. I will never test again until a few days past my periods due date. NEVER AGAIN!!!

Deb,
I have my everything crossed that the results you get tonight will be good ones. But if they are not, a big hug and warmest wishes that your time will come soon, I feel sure it will.
Debbie

Thanks Debbie,
My time will come. I think that this has just confirmed what I have suspected and that is that my LP is a bit too short. There is always a positive out of every sadness. So, next week I hope we'll begin on getting it a bit more sorted. I don't ovulate until cd18 give or take a day and then with the 11 day LP, it's not giving enough time if implantation is a bit late. This cycle I know it was a bit late. So, if we can get me ovulating a bit earlier that will give more time for implantation before the progesterone starts to decrease.
You are a good friend Debbie, I am glad we've crossed paths. Your time will come soon too. Us "old boilers" have a few good ones in us yet!!! You make sure you stay positive and soon we will be waltzing down the pregnancy path together. It's a date okay????
Where are you up to in your cycle now?
Big hugs and so many thanks to you....