can a single parent surviving solely on CL, pay $250 rent and survive financially?

I am after advice
Not judgements (if i could get a job, i would be working already)

I am renting in the public housing system, it's a violent and dangerous neighbourhood, but i can afford the rent.

The base / entry level of rent in the PRIVATE rental market seems to be about $250

I need to hear from single parents in the same situation. Is it possible to rent in the private market and still survive financially? It is not obvious to me, that is why i am asking.

I've only been separated (physically) for two months, so this is early days for me, going to see a financial counsellor tomorrow, to try and work out a budget.

I've been given advice today (IRL) like, "get a job that pays $300, and then you can pay your $250 rent" - but i don't think surviving on $50 a week (for food, petrol etc) would work in the real world.

this area is too violent for my DD to grow up in, and i feel anxious ALL the time. too many drug dealers (and all the incumbent visitors that go with that, day and night) in our street. we are on a corner, with a very short fence, so very vulnerable. there must be a way out.

i think if X knew we lived in this area, he would take bilby off me, and part of me thinks, she would be safer with him really, as he's in a safer neighbourhood. But i don't want to lose my girl.

thanks for reading.

i already judge myself very harshly for this situation, please do not judge me. i don't need any more guilt, i have plenty already.

:hug: Gigi - you're doing the best you can in a difficult situation. And seriously, $50/week wouldn't cover much at all, who the heck gives that kind of advice???

Far as I am aware, there'd be:
* Centerlink payment
* child allowance
* rent assistance
* child support
* discounted pharmaceuticals / public transport / some bills

Good luck.

I'm not sure where you are living suburb wise but there are plenty of area s where you can get a lovely housein a nice neighbourhood for that much.

In my area you can..... And it's a nice area :)

having said that, are you currently receiving a payment off centerlink? I'm not sure what the single rate is but a few years ago now it was about $800 a fortnight plus family tax benefit, so definitely enough to live comfortably with fresh fruit and all that jazz....

It's definitely do able, im sure once you speak to a financial counselor you will feel more confident :)

It's hard and tough, you'll have to learn to live without the luxuries, but so many people have told me its doable. I am confident that your a smart girl and you'll be able to work it out :-D

Sweets, are you already getting all your entitled too?
If you are, you can add some rent assisitance to that, and that will be your f/n income.
I *think* if your f/n rent is at least $320, you can get $140 in Rent assistance.

So if your going to pay around $500 p/f, $140 is covered.

Make sure your getting PPS, FTB A & B and child support. And apply for RA as soon as you get a place to get the payments asap.

I *think* the department of housing can help with bonds if your on the books?? I know they used to.
Call and ask what assisstance you can get to get private rental.

Its hard, but it can be done......

Gigi

you would be entitle to single parent payment of the $611 a fortnight.
you would also be entitled to the FTB A and B of what you recieve now, which im guessing is around $350 per fortnight?
and you would also be entitled to rent assistance which you dont recieve now being in a HT home.

so Im going to go with a ball park figure of 1000 a fortnight so there for 500 a week

if you were paying 250 a week in rent that would leave you with 250 for bills, being it just you and bilby i would put 120 away for bills a week (which would include gas elect rego etc) leaving you to live off for food and petrol 130 per week.. which is doable.

it will be tight but it is doable.

no one will judge you huni...i hope you can move soon huni and massive hugs xox

I'm not sure how it works, but my friends sister is in Dept housing yet it is a private rental. Basically, she pays Dept housing amount of rent and Dept housing put up the bond for her. She is in a BEAUTIFUL 5 bedroom, 3 year old house with distant ocean views! It's hard to not be jealous! lol
From memory, she got such a great house because she was transferring from Sydney to Newcastle to be closer to family (her support network) and there were no 4+ bedroom houses available in the area at the time so she had to go private through Dept housing.

Definitely arrange to speak to someone at Dept housing and tell them of your fears. It can't hurt to speak to a counsellor or even a social worker to help with your case to get you out of a dangerous neighbourhood and in to a safer one.

Big hugs honey.

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if you were paying 250 a week in rent that would leave you with 250 for bills, being it just you and bilby i would put 120 away for bills a week (which would include gas elect rego etc) leaving you to live off for food and petrol 130 per week.. which is doable.

it will be tight but it is doable.

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Most of those bills you will be able to get a health card discount off. I know for sure rego and pretty sure electricity. With a little money jiggling I am sure you'll work something out. I out away $20 a week for rego and insurance and such so it's there for when the bills come rather then a massive chunk. Little things like that really add up rather then getting the massive chunk taken out of the account.

Why do you judge yourself hun? You are doing the best you can right now! Huge :hug:

Gigi, you have NOTHING to feel guilty about hun.
You know things will get better sweety..this is just part of the journey. Hang in there xx

cos i am putting bilby at risk, by living in such a volatile area.
i didn't realise it was this bad, when i signed the lease. i didn't know about the gangs, i had no idea the "customers" would be so obvious, so violent, so aggressive, on both sides of where we live (on a corner, our windows are just a few metres from the footpath) day and night
i felt like i had no choice, it was this place, or be on the waiting list indefinately.
and every time you move, you spend money moving, setting up and in this instance, paying money for security stuff as well (to have side and back gates made lockable, installing three security sensor lights wired in)
so the small nestegg i had, is very diminished, purely from this move - let alone moving AGAIN and setting up AGAIN.

i am scared i will end up, going back to X, purely to get bilby away from the risks associated with living here.

i was crazy to think i could make this work (leaving X). i will end up either losing bilby or losing my mind (living under same roof as X again).

Lisa,
there is bilby and me, no way we'd get anything other than a 2 bedroom place. (i don't need more bedrooms, just a safer neighbourhood). the housing trust stocks are so low here. it is like a miracle just to get an offer. and i got an offer - many people here are incredulous that i even got a place, as in "how come you're so lucky when thousands of others stay on the waiting list and have been for many years". Yep, i got this place in Drug Dealer's Avenue. but no-one told me that when it was offered to me. They just said, "no-one wants to live here, how keen are you to be housed? there's no insulation, no heating no cooling, do you want it. or stay on the waiting list indefinately." I chose to be housed so i could leave X.

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Gigi

you would be entitle to single parent payment of the $611 a fortnight.
you would also be entitled to the FTB A and B of what you recieve now, which im guessing is around $350 per fortnight?
and you would also be entitled to rent assistance which you dont recieve now being in a HT home.

so Im going to go with a ball park figure of 1000 a fortnight so there for 500 a week

if you were paying 250 a week in rent that would leave you with 250 for bills, being it just you and bilby i would put 120 away for bills a week (which would include gas elect rego etc) leaving you to live off for food and petrol 130 per week.. which is doable.

it will be tight but it is doable.

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i will ask the financial counsellor tomorrow
i'll get two versions of my budget
- one with my current rent ($100 per week)
- one with a projected rent ($250 per week)
so i can compare.

I've just gotten car ins and contents ins, thinking that was the sensible thing to do, as a single mum, i wonder if she will tell me they are luxuries?
I thought luxuries were things like FOXTEL, smokes, alcohol, restaurants, beauty treatments, holidays, - which i go without already.

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It's hard and tough, you'll have to learn to live without the luxuries, but so many people have told me its doable. I am confident that your a smart girl and you'll be able to work it out :-D

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if i was so smart, i would not be in this predicament. i feel the very opposite of smart. I feel very foolish and stupid.

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i didn't realise it was this bad, when i signed the lease. i didn't know about the gangs, i had no idea the "customers" would be so obvious, so violent, so aggressive, on both sides of where we live (on a corner, our windows are just a few metres from the footpath) day and night
i felt like i had no choice, it was this place, or be on the waiting list indefinately.
and every time you move, you spend money moving, setting up and in this instance, paying money for security stuff as well (to have side and back gates made lockable, installing three security sensor lights wired in)
so the small nestegg i had, is very diminished, purely from this move - let alone moving AGAIN and setting up AGAIN.

i am scared i will end up, going back to X, purely to get bilby away from the risks associated with living here.

i was crazy to think i could make this work (leaving X). i will end up either losing bilby or losing my mind (living under same roof as X again).

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Hun, you didn't know how bad it was so basically you were doing the right thing. You have also taken the time (and money) to make it as secure as you can. That alone in my eyes shows you are doing your best so don't be so hard on yourself! :hug: You'll find a way!

if it is possible, put in writing all the problems that you are faced with on a daily basis, the risks to your dd, with a drug area there are endless risks and safety concerns. put in an application for a transfer also put in a complaint to the ombudsman(?) for housing, make sure you keep all documentation for your reccords aswell.
dont stress about it to much, as hard as it is, this is your foot in the door, remember everyone starts somewere.
if you put in a transfer, it may take a few months, but would be worth it in the end. when ds1 & ds2 were little, we lived with df's dad, who was a reformed drug addict, the community house we were in, in a good estate of a good suburb, burnt down and we were put in a "drug central" court simmilar to were you have described, they knew his past, and knew of the dramas in that place, yet still placed him there, he put a transfer in after catching on to how it was, they did nothing at first, but after going to the ombudsman(?) they gave him another house. just to be sure if they do offer you somewere, get the address first, go check it out and speak to the neighbours, or local shop keepers, see what its like.

good luck, hang in there we all start somewere.

Gigi I havent read most of the replys so just butting in my 2 cents, you have firstly nothing to feel guilty about. When me and my ex seperated I had no choice to but rent privately as the office of housing wouldnt move me despite my ex smashing windows daily. I paid 230 a week rent as well as kept up with my bills, fed me and my daughter she was still in nappies then too as well as study costs and travel (i didnt have a car at the time as my ex smashed it when i was leaving him) and we still had a little play money at the end.

Dont get me wrong its not easy but strict budgeting, paying bills fortnightly instead of when they arrive, ebay for kids clothing or even op shops some of them have really good clothes for very little here we have one who does $12 a bag and you stuff as much as you can into a bag and get a whole lot of clothes for $12 and quite often some still have the tags on!

It is do able and I dont regret doing it this way at all, good luck

Gigi I want to say Lu would kick your butt for speaking of yourself in such a bad light and considering going back to X just to get out ;)

You CAN do it, you've already done the hardest part, leaving.

PLenty of single mums pay rent (private) and manage, I have a friend who does so and she does fine.

You are clever and smart, if you weren't hun you'd be happy to live there like all the lovely neighbours you have now :)

Be sure you are getting all you are entitled to and yes you will be eligable for Rent Assistance too. Have you done an estimate on the centrelink website?? that will let you know how much you will get if you are paying $250pw rent.

:hug: you are doing brilliantly, I wish I had half your guts.

xxx

Gigi - feel free to PM me re your safety concerns / issues anytime hun.

You've done the right thing, and yeah - Lu would kick your butt for thinking otherwise

xoxox

My sister and my friend are both single mums on CL and both pay $230 per week rent. It is doable. Housing trust will pay your bond and first weeks rent for you if you ring them and ask.

Please, please, please stop beating yourself up, you have done the right thing and it will work out and get easier xxxxxxx

See what the financial councillor says, but I think with careful planning and budgeting that you could do it from what everyone else has said.
Another thing to consider for saving money is (and you might be doing this already) - op shopping. Some places have some really great stuff, near new in many cases for so much less than brand new.

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if i was so smart, i would not be in this predicament. i feel the very opposite of smart. I feel very foolish and stupid.

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Huge :hug: I don't have any great financial advice for you (I wish I did) but I couldn't read this and not post. You are making the best of a crappy circumstance. That in no way make you foolish. It's tough what you are doing and lots of people would take the easy option, but not necessarily the healthiest. You are doing the best you can for your and your bilby -- that is what makes you a great parent, making the most of your circumstances and putting your precious baby first. You really have to make the best choice of a pile of less than ideal choices. You are amazing and you have a lot more strength than you realise. Don't beat yourself up. :hug:

Gigi.. you can do it. I am in a similar situation, I'm single, I have a baby and I rent privately. I pay $190 rent a week for a 2 bedroom house in a nice area and still have at least $80 left over each week from centrelink payments which I put into savings. I also get the baby bonus which I have not needed to touch, it gets transferred automatically to a savings account.

You just need to save where you can, which I'm sure you do anyway. If you want some tips,here are some of the things I do.. hopefully even one thing will help:
use cloth nappies (mainly terry squares), and cloth wipes. I bought a flannelette sheet from an op-shop and cut it up to use as wipes
use soap nuts in the washing machine to save $$
don't buy expensive cleaners etc, I use vinegar instead
op-shopping as daniellabella above suggests.. I go every week, and buy 4 pieces of baby clothing for $1.. they always have stuff in good condition. Also good for kitchenware, toys etc
don't buy pre-prepared food.. I make everything, biscuits, muffins, it takes time but saves so much money
buy things when they are on special
use the library to borrow dvd's. It's free.
I choose to rent close to shops, doctors, library, everything I need is in walking distance, or a very cheap taxi ride if it's raining. This means I don't need a car, so no petrol, insurance, maintenance costs. No unexpected expenses like flat tyres etc either, and I get lots of exercise.
I don't have a proper backyard, just a small paved area so I grow vegies in containers (yoghurt containers, polystyrene boxes free from the fruit shop etc)
I make toys out of whatever can be used.

There's lots of ways to save, just have to think outside the square a bit. I'm sure you can do it. The only thing I'd think about if I were you is if you can survive without a car. Perhaps try to rent close to town or close to a bus stop, it's amazing how much cars actually cost to run.

I hope things work out for you :hug:

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if i was so smart, i would not be in this predicament. i feel the very opposite of smart. I feel very foolish and stupid.

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Hunni, You are not Foolish and stupid. You followed your heart and that is okay, that doesnt make you foolish or stupid. You are very smart, you know how i know? Because you had a problem in your r'ship, and you took control, you have used so much courage and strength and you are making a better life for you and bilby, that shows me a very smart, couragous, woman right there.... xoxoxox I have faith in you xoxox

Gigi, I havent read all the replies but thought I'd give you some advice from my personal experience....

You will be able to do it but it will be tough, at least until you get into a bit of a routine & know your budget properly.

Approach St Vinnies. I know in Forster NSW they have 2 bedroom fully furnished townhouses for families who need them. You pay $250 a week & they put aside $50 of that & save it so when the time comes for you to move out you have saved $50 a week.... a big help & savings you normally couldnt manage (well I couldnt!)

Dept of housing can help with bond & 1 or 2 weeks rent so you can move straight in (they paid my bond (4 weeks rent) plus 2 weeks rent in advance a year ago when I needed a place asap) Go in & see them, see how they can help you.

With moving costs approach St Vinnies, Salvation Army & life line..... they paid the majority of my $1800 moving cost in Dec just gone, I was only out of pocket $350 in the end, if your moving costs are cheaper (mine was interstate which is why it was so high) they may be able to cover the whole lot for you?

Freecycle is great, join your local area one online (google freecycle) & people give away so many different things, you can ask for things aswell, just make sure you "offer" something first before asking for something.

Dont be affraid to ask for help & accept help. Everyone needs a helping hand at some stage (well most people anyway!)

Please dont go back to your X simply because you think you're not doing a good enough job on your own. Believe in yourself, you've taken the biggest step by actually leaving, you will regret it if you go back for that reason (I did in 2006, if it weren't for me having DS in that time I was back I would totally have regretted it)

You are doing a great job..... really you are!!

Good luck hun xoxo

Gigi, I havent read all the replies but thought I'd give you some advice from my personal experience....

You will be able to do it but it will be tough, at least until you get into a bit of a routine & know your budget properly.

Approach St Vinnies. I know in Forster NSW they have 2 bedroom fully furnished townhouses for families who need them. You pay $250 a week & they put aside $50 of that & save it so when the time comes for you to move out you have saved $50 a week.... a big help & savings you normally couldnt manage (well I couldnt!)

Dept of housing can help with bond & 1 or 2 weeks rent so you can move straight in (they paid my bond (4 weeks rent) plus 2 weeks rent in advance a year ago when I needed a place asap) Go in & see them, see how they can help you.

With moving costs approach St Vinnies, Salvation Army & life line..... they paid the majority of my $1800 moving cost in Dec just gone, I was only out of pocket $350 in the end, if your moving costs are cheaper (mine was interstate which is why it was so high) they may be able to cover the whole lot for you?

Freecycle is great, join your local area one online (google freecycle) & people give away so many different things, you can ask for things aswell, just make sure you "offer" something first before asking for something.

Dont be affraid to ask for help & accept help. Everyone needs a helping hand at some stage (well most people anyway!)

Please dont go back to your X simply because you think you're not doing a good enough job on your own. Believe in yourself, you've taken the biggest step by actually leaving, you will regret it if you go back for that reason (I did in 2006, if it weren't for me having DS in that time I was back I would totally have regretted it)

You are doing a great job..... really you are!!

Good luck hun xoxo

Gigi, I wish you were in WA so I could help you.
I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time :(

wow, thanks for all the replies.

I am doing some of the moneysaving ideas already (opshopping, i repair clothing by handsewing, freecycle, ebay, gumtree, stock up on basics when they are on special. No cable tv, don't hire dvd's, ). Before i left X, i was a big library user, but since leaving X, i have been too upset/busy/unable to concentrate to read a novel. when things improve, i'll go back to the library (wherever we're living).

Planning to do some vegie growing in styrofoam boxes, buying the potting soil has put me off ($$$). the soil here is rubbish, needs alot of organic matter to get it "happy" again. I've transformed awful dead soils, to healthy black loam full of worms - but it takes me about three years to do it (constantly adding organic matter, sheet mulching). i could do that here, but i don't think me and bilby will be here in three years time. i really hope we aren't. the foundries in this neighbourhood spew out so much air pollution, i'm not sure vegies would grow that happily here anyhoo. First place i've lived where i'm so reliant on eyedrops (my eyes are irritated by the air pollution, just walking from back door to get in my car).

I have felt too upset/overwhelmed to get into the baking of muffins etc, but when life goes more smoothly, that is the sort of thing i start doing again - on a small scale compared to how you are doing it Bec293.

Meal planning is an area that interests me (healthy, economical), but for many reasons, i don't understand the nuts and bolts of how to make it happen. My supermarket shopping is haphazard which i know is bad, and i read that people who do the meal planning for real, do very planned supermarket shops - and thereby shop wisely. i feel so lost about the whole "meal planning" stuff.

i'm doing one of the worst things multiple times per week, bilby is such a fussy eater, i feel like she holds me to ransom every single mealtime, and in desperation i give her individual quiches from the Coles deli section ($2.60 each) a few times per week. if i'm lucky, she will eat half. She refuses to eat my home made versions (i and other adults eat this happily, mine are actually edible). So that's prepared food i buy her on a regular basis, so i know she is actually eating a meal for a change, and it's got eggs, cheese etc. i feel guilty each time, not knowing what else i can do. Bribery doesn't work, she just is not interested in food.

When i was looking for somewhere to live, one of my criteria was to live close to public transport, near to services e.g GP, shops,etc - to save petrol, have a plan b if my car died/i could no longer afford to run a car. Where i am now, i am two blocks from a bus that goes into the city (i have no need to go into the city). but no public transport to get to bilby's childcare, future school, her GP, her dad's etc. I can walk to a very exxy supermarket (type of shop that is more like a 7day deli price wise, rather than an everyday place to shop. Such a small range, no clearance racks like the bigger supermarkets have). but once i get in my car and drive 10 mins away, the supermarkets are so much better, cheaper and have more stuff on sale, marked down etc. i think it sucks that a supermarket in a low socio economic area, is actually dearer, than supermarkets in a slightly better economic area.

Once i get the budget details back, i will not be surprised, if my car expenses aren't the biggest part of the budget.

Last year when i asked HT for help with paying bond (for private rental) they told me they wouldn't unless i found rent that was 35% or under, of my income. and because $250 rent per week is more than 50%, then they woudln't help me. There is only one guy on the counter at Modbury, maybe i should try other HT offices, to see if i get a different answer.

the thing is, i could see their point. If i get a rental, that is 50% of my income, well rents go up much more than CL income does. so i thought to myself, yeh, they might be trying to save me, from being on a rent that's eventually 70% of my income or something drastic like that.

Bec, i might PM you about where you can get decent accom for $190, cos i'd love to know about that. When i was shopping for accomodation, looking at the private rent ads everyday, often teh cheapest rents were in areas i knew nothing about. So hard to make big decisions, based on zero info.

Today, i re-did bilby's curtain, bought a 2m curtain rod, more rings, so i could make it look nicer. I'm sure it was purely psychological, but after i had rehung the (opshop) curtains, it did look nicer and she was happy when she saw it. I NEED to know i'm making things better for her, in SOME way. Her window is not big, i know she doesn't like having so little light in her room, and i'm always nervous cos the window is so close to the footpath, and i'm terrified of some drugcrazed idiot carrying on when she's in the room awake. I've been so lucky, so far, she's either been asleep, at x's, or at childcare when it's happened. i don't expect that luck to hold out forever.
i also fear men from the hostels, looking in her window, when she's getting changed, or running around just in a fairy skirt, cos she's 4 and thinks just wearing a fairy skirt is a fun thing to do when it's hot. I have a lace curtain at the window, but sometimes she puts the main light on. (in the day). she is so trusting, i can't tell her WHY i'm so scared. She would run out to the letterbox just in her undies if i let her, she has no idea, let alone, about the drugged up people who are around us literally on our corner. i am scared for her to be outside in the front yard. If she is singing and carrying on near the gate when i'm trying to get us in the car to go out, i'm scared people walking past will hear her, i don' twant the druggies to know there is a child living here.

i'[m so glad she wasn't here to see the broken bottle after NYE thrown inside our gate, i'm so glad she wasn't here to see the two druggies menacing me, demanding a car ride to the nearest chemist, to get their "done". I'm so glad she wasn'[t here to see the guys thump my auntie's car roof (with us inside). I'm so glad she is a heavy sleeper, when the screaming and fighting goes on outisde our windows, so close to where we are.

i'm on high alert, she picks up on my anxiety. she talks of "the bad men" and "the naughty people". She was upset by the gang tags on our gate and fence a few days ago.

i find it hard to put on a brave face, pretend everything is fine, when i have to see X (pickup and dropoffs).
SHe is so happy and relieved to go there (he is not on high alert, it is safe there, she is allowed to go to the front letterbox there, no-one can see in her bedroom window, she has lots of light.

i think i need to do some research
- discover if HT WILL do the bond and first two week's rent thing (or knock me back, if weekly rent is over 35% of my income)

- discover the criteria and how Rent Relief is worked out. So i can make valid calculations.

- start stalking the RE websites/pages again.

- work thru my fear of "how will i move again so quickly, when i've just spent heaps on moving, trying to make this new place liveable/safe etc". it takes money to move, to set up somewhere else again." Most of the money i've spent here, will have to stay here (for benefit of the next tenant).

- work this out THIS year, before bilby starts school NEXT year. i want her settled, in routine. And the thought of moving somewhere i don't know, makes me feel anxious. i cheated with this move, cos it's only a few minutes from where i was, although it feels like a world away in some ways. but a short car ride and i am at my usual shops/services. so that made it less scary.

GiGi just wanted to send lots of :hug: and good luck vibes your way. You are being such a fantastic mum to your little Bilby trying to get her a better place. I hope HT comes through for you in the end.

Was also going to suggest that you could go into real estates and let them know what you are looking for and to keep you in mind if something comes on the market within your price range. you sound like a fantastic tenant and any landlord would be lucky to have you. Also check out gum tree and places like that for people that are renting out under their homes / private rentals, you might be able to get into a better area for the same rental price.

Do you have any family and friends that could help you move? That always makes it so much cheaper, or even hiring a trailer from a petrol station.

Look forward to hearing about your new adventures this year :)

thanks so much UsPlus2.

i don't have a towbar on my car, and apparently my car is not strong enough to tow stuff anyhoo. I'd love to hire a "move yourself" trailer if i could. Maybe i will look into hiring a "move yourself truck" - see how much they cost. but the lifting of heavy and tall furniture on and off the truck, that still is an issue. My "family" is one elderly auntie.

i think i am an ok tenant, but have nothing on paper to prove that. i've never been in arrears, have never lost a bond, never caused damage etc etc.

rental market is so competitive, but i'll give your ideas a whirl anyhoo.

thanks again
Gigi

Sweets, check with the Salvation Army, up here they have a truck and will move you, if you qualify. So no moving cost!!!
I wished you lived closer, I would certainly put you and Bilby up till you found somewhere... xoxoxoxo

just wanted to say your doing a great job with the situation you are in!!! and your trying to make it better, dont judge yourself so harshly!! your little one will thank you in the long run for all you are doing for her and for your self. things will get better! have confidence and be proud that you were brave enough to make a very hard change rather than just staying put casue it was easier!!! big big hugs.

If you let us Adelaide BB girls know when you move we might be able to help shift stuff for you (or con partners in to help shift some of the heavy stuff somehow)

Yeah, Gigi, I have a big hefty man who *loves* to help people, he has an inexhaustible source of physical stamina AND a trailer AND car with a towbar...he will even turn up wearing his kidney-belt from the gym, just so he can lift a few things that are too heavy for everybody else :rofl:. Seriously hun, whatever we can do to help. Consider this the beginnings of a working-party. :hug:

You're kidding, really? wow. that is so kind of you to offer. far out. i didn't post my post hinting, it was just what i was thinking out aloud. (blocks to me moving).

i find it so hard to trust that things will work out. i find it hard to trust full stop.

very humbling to log on and find these messages.

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i didn't post my post hinting, it was just what i was thinking out aloud. (blocks to me moving).

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See we're just trying to help you find ways to live well (and Bilby) - and removing unnecessary blocks for you.

Gigi, I know, I find it difficult to trust too, but the few times I have opened myself to receiving help it has been amazing. :hug: