can a single parent surviving solely on CL, pay $250 rent and survive financially?

[Gigi]

It's hard and tough, you'll have to learn to live without the luxuries, but so many people have told me its doable. I am confident that your a smart girl and you'll be able to work it out :-D

if i was so smart, i would not be in this predicament. i feel the very opposite of smart. I feel very foolish and stupid.

[Just Me]

if i was so smart, i would not be in this predicament. i feel the very opposite of smart. I feel very foolish and stupid.

Huge I don't have any great financial advice for you (I wish I did) but I couldn't read this and not post. You are making the best of a crappy circumstance. That in no way make you foolish. It's tough what you are doing and lots of people would take the easy option, but not necessarily the healthiest. You are doing the best you can for your and your bilby -- that is what makes you a great parent, making the most of your circumstances and putting your precious baby first. You really have to make the best choice of a pile of less than ideal choices. You are amazing and you have a lot more strength than you realise. Don't beat yourself up.

[Catastrophic]

if i was so smart, i would not be in this predicament. i feel the very opposite of smart. I feel very foolish and stupid.

Hunni, You are not Foolish and stupid. You followed your heart and that is okay, that doesnt make you foolish or stupid. You are very smart, you know how i know? Because you had a problem in your r'ship, and you took control, you have used so much courage and strength and you are making a better life for you and bilby, that shows me a very smart, couragous, woman right there.... xoxoxox I have faith in you xoxox

[~breeze~]

Gigi, I havent read all the replies but thought I'd give you some advice from my personal experience....

You will be able to do it but it will be tough, at least until you get into a bit of a routine & know your budget properly.

Approach St Vinnies. I know in Forster NSW they have 2 bedroom fully furnished townhouses for families who need them. You pay $250 a week & they put aside $50 of that & save it so when the time comes for you to move out you have saved $50 a week.... a big help & savings you normally couldnt manage (well I couldnt!)

Dept of housing can help with bond & 1 or 2 weeks rent so you can move straight in (they paid my bond (4 weeks rent) plus 2 weeks rent in advance a year ago when I needed a place asap) Go in & see them, see how they can help you.

With moving costs approach St Vinnies, Salvation Army & life line..... they paid the majority of my $1800 moving cost in Dec just gone, I was only out of pocket $350 in the end, if your moving costs are cheaper (mine was interstate which is why it was so high) they may be able to cover the whole lot for you?

Freecycle is great, join your local area one online (google freecycle) & people give away so many different things, you can ask for things aswell, just make sure you "offer" something first before asking for something.

Dont be affraid to ask for help & accept help. Everyone needs a helping hand at some stage (well most people anyway!)

Please dont go back to your X simply because you think you're not doing a good enough job on your own. Believe in yourself, you've taken the biggest step by actually leaving, you will regret it if you go back for that reason (I did in 2006, if it weren't for me having DS in that time I was back I would totally have regretted it)

You are doing a great job..... really you are!!

Good luck hun xoxo

[~breeze~]

Gigi, I havent read all the replies but thought I'd give you some advice from my personal experience....

You will be able to do it but it will be tough, at least until you get into a bit of a routine & know your budget properly.

Approach St Vinnies. I know in Forster NSW they have 2 bedroom fully furnished townhouses for families who need them. You pay $250 a week & they put aside $50 of that & save it so when the time comes for you to move out you have saved $50 a week.... a big help & savings you normally couldnt manage (well I couldnt!)

Dept of housing can help with bond & 1 or 2 weeks rent so you can move straight in (they paid my bond (4 weeks rent) plus 2 weeks rent in advance a year ago when I needed a place asap) Go in & see them, see how they can help you.

With moving costs approach St Vinnies, Salvation Army & life line..... they paid the majority of my $1800 moving cost in Dec just gone, I was only out of pocket $350 in the end, if your moving costs are cheaper (mine was interstate which is why it was so high) they may be able to cover the whole lot for you?

Freecycle is great, join your local area one online (google freecycle) & people give away so many different things, you can ask for things aswell, just make sure you "offer" something first before asking for something.

Dont be affraid to ask for help & accept help. Everyone needs a helping hand at some stage (well most people anyway!)

Please dont go back to your X simply because you think you're not doing a good enough job on your own. Believe in yourself, you've taken the biggest step by actually leaving, you will regret it if you go back for that reason (I did in 2006, if it weren't for me having DS in that time I was back I would totally have regretted it)

You are doing a great job..... really you are!!

Good luck hun xoxo

[StrawberryMumma]

Gigi, I wish you were in WA so I could help you.
I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time

[Gigi]

wow, thanks for all the replies.

I am doing some of the moneysaving ideas already (opshopping, i repair clothing by handsewing, freecycle, ebay, gumtree, stock up on basics when they are on special. No cable tv, don't hire dvd's, ). Before i left X, i was a big library user, but since leaving X, i have been too upset/busy/unable to concentrate to read a novel. when things improve, i'll go back to the library (wherever we're living).

Planning to do some vegie growing in styrofoam boxes, buying the potting soil has put me off ($$$). the soil here is rubbish, needs alot of organic matter to get it "happy" again. I've transformed awful dead soils, to healthy black loam full of worms - but it takes me about three years to do it (constantly adding organic matter, sheet mulching). i could do that here, but i don't think me and bilby will be here in three years time. i really hope we aren't. the foundries in this neighbourhood spew out so much air pollution, i'm not sure vegies would grow that happily here anyhoo. First place i've lived where i'm so reliant on eyedrops (my eyes are irritated by the air pollution, just walking from back door to get in my car).

I have felt too upset/overwhelmed to get into the baking of muffins etc, but when life goes more smoothly, that is the sort of thing i start doing again - on a small scale compared to how you are doing it Bec293.

Meal planning is an area that interests me (healthy, economical), but for many reasons, i don't understand the nuts and bolts of how to make it happen. My supermarket shopping is haphazard which i know is bad, and i read that people who do the meal planning for real, do very planned supermarket shops - and thereby shop wisely. i feel so lost about the whole "meal planning" stuff.

i'm doing one of the worst things multiple times per week, bilby is such a fussy eater, i feel like she holds me to ransom every single mealtime, and in desperation i give her individual quiches from the Coles deli section ($2.60 each) a few times per week. if i'm lucky, she will eat half. She refuses to eat my home made versions (i and other adults eat this happily, mine are actually edible). So that's prepared food i buy her on a regular basis, so i know she is actually eating a meal for a change, and it's got eggs, cheese etc. i feel guilty each time, not knowing what else i can do. Bribery doesn't work, she just is not interested in food.

When i was looking for somewhere to live, one of my criteria was to live close to public transport, near to services e.g GP, shops,etc - to save petrol, have a plan b if my car died/i could no longer afford to run a car. Where i am now, i am two blocks from a bus that goes into the city (i have no need to go into the city). but no public transport to get to bilby's childcare, future school, her GP, her dad's etc. I can walk to a very exxy supermarket (type of shop that is more like a 7day deli price wise, rather than an everyday place to shop. Such a small range, no clearance racks like the bigger supermarkets have). but once i get in my car and drive 10 mins away, the supermarkets are so much better, cheaper and have more stuff on sale, marked down etc. i think it sucks that a supermarket in a low socio economic area, is actually dearer, than supermarkets in a slightly better economic area.

Once i get the budget details back, i will not be surprised, if my car expenses aren't the biggest part of the budget.

Last year when i asked HT for help with paying bond (for private rental) they told me they wouldn't unless i found rent that was 35% or under, of my income. and because $250 rent per week is more than 50%, then they woudln't help me. There is only one guy on the counter at Modbury, maybe i should try other HT offices, to see if i get a different answer.

the thing is, i could see their point. If i get a rental, that is 50% of my income, well rents go up much more than CL income does. so i thought to myself, yeh, they might be trying to save me, from being on a rent that's eventually 70% of my income or something drastic like that.

Bec, i might PM you about where you can get decent accom for $190, cos i'd love to know about that. When i was shopping for accomodation, looking at the private rent ads everyday, often teh cheapest rents were in areas i knew nothing about. So hard to make big decisions, based on zero info.

Today, i re-did bilby's curtain, bought a 2m curtain rod, more rings, so i could make it look nicer. I'm sure it was purely psychological, but after i had rehung the (opshop) curtains, it did look nicer and she was happy when she saw it. I NEED to know i'm making things better for her, in SOME way. Her window is not big, i know she doesn't like having so little light in her room, and i'm always nervous cos the window is so close to the footpath, and i'm terrified of some drugcrazed idiot carrying on when she's in the room awake. I've been so lucky, so far, she's either been asleep, at x's, or at childcare when it's happened. i don't expect that luck to hold out forever.
i also fear men from the hostels, looking in her window, when she's getting changed, or running around just in a fairy skirt, cos she's 4 and thinks just wearing a fairy skirt is a fun thing to do when it's hot. I have a lace curtain at the window, but sometimes she puts the main light on. (in the day). she is so trusting, i can't tell her WHY i'm so scared. She would run out to the letterbox just in her undies if i let her, she has no idea, let alone, about the drugged up people who are around us literally on our corner. i am scared for her to be outside in the front yard. If she is singing and carrying on near the gate when i'm trying to get us in the car to go out, i'm scared people walking past will hear her, i don' twant the druggies to know there is a child living here.

i'[m so glad she wasn't here to see the broken bottle after NYE thrown inside our gate, i'm so glad she wasn't here to see the two druggies menacing me, demanding a car ride to the nearest chemist, to get their "done". I'm so glad she wasn'[t here to see the guys thump my auntie's car roof (with us inside). I'm so glad she is a heavy sleeper, when the screaming and fighting goes on outisde our windows, so close to where we are.

i'm on high alert, she picks up on my anxiety. she talks of "the bad men" and "the naughty people". She was upset by the gang tags on our gate and fence a few days ago.

i find it hard to put on a brave face, pretend everything is fine, when i have to see X (pickup and dropoffs).
SHe is so happy and relieved to go there (he is not on high alert, it is safe there, she is allowed to go to the front letterbox there, no-one can see in her bedroom window, she has lots of light.

[Gigi]

i think i need to do some research
- discover if HT WILL do the bond and first two week's rent thing (or knock me back, if weekly rent is over 35% of my income)

- discover the criteria and how Rent Relief is worked out. So i can make valid calculations.

- start stalking the RE websites/pages again.

- work thru my fear of "how will i move again so quickly, when i've just spent heaps on moving, trying to make this new place liveable/safe etc". it takes money to move, to set up somewhere else again." Most of the money i've spent here, will have to stay here (for benefit of the next tenant).

- work this out THIS year, before bilby starts school NEXT year. i want her settled, in routine. And the thought of moving somewhere i don't know, makes me feel anxious. i cheated with this move, cos it's only a few minutes from where i was, although it feels like a world away in some ways. but a short car ride and i am at my usual shops/services. so that made it less scary.

[UsPlus2]

GiGi just wanted to send lots of and good luck vibes your way. You are being such a fantastic mum to your little Bilby trying to get her a better place. I hope HT comes through for you in the end.

Was also going to suggest that you could go into real estates and let them know what you are looking for and to keep you in mind if something comes on the market within your price range. you sound like a fantastic tenant and any landlord would be lucky to have you. Also check out gum tree and places like that for people that are renting out under their homes / private rentals, you might be able to get into a better area for the same rental price.

Do you have any family and friends that could help you move? That always makes it so much cheaper, or even hiring a trailer from a petrol station.

Look forward to hearing about your new adventures this year