Its happening again.

Why me?
I had my fourth miscarriage back in October. Another d&c, the pregnancy never progressed past 6wks.
Fast forward to now. I find out Im pregnant again, bit of a surprise. Im nervous about it but I figure the odds of it going pear shaped again is minute, right?

Apparently not for me. I had a blood test last thursday 3rd Feb to confirm the pregnancy and my levels were 164. A bit low for 4w4d but still within the 4-5wk range. No worries. So on Tuesday 8th Feb I went and had another to make sure the levels were rising (not that thats any indicator of bad things with me as my last m/c my levels were phenomenally perfect right til 9wks, the end of everything) and I got the results back today, 424.

They havent even doubled in 48hrs. Im a mess. My heart is breaking thinking about having to go through this again. Five fugging times. All I want is another baby, I adore my boys and we've gone to hell and back to have them. I know Im being greedy wanting four kids but I just feel like we arent complete yet. I just cant go through this again. Dh is away interstate and wont be home til next thursday. He wants me to go for a scan before then so that when it comes about we need a d&c he can organise to be here instead of going away again that sunday. Im all alone and Im struggling to keep a lid on things so the kids dont get upset that Im upset. I just want to curl into a ball and cry.

The GP is disgustingly optimistic about it all; even considering my previous history. I think that ****s me the most.

If you got this far thankyou for listening. It feels good to get that out. Might stave off the crying so I can keep it together til after the kids go to bed tonight.

I don't know what to say :(

:hug:

Aww sweets

:comfort:

I Hope the Dr's optimism is justified and everything starts to continues along to a happy, healthy little bub.

But, if not, may I offer you a world of :hug:

no no no :( hon my HCG didnt double like yours and im now 19 weeks hon so lets pray all we can that this bubba will stick. have you had any bleeds? can you ask for progesterone tablets to help??? whens your next test? Im hoping this bubba will be with you gorgeous xxx

sending you hugs and sticky vibes hun hope this ubba can hold on...how rude of the doctor i can see he was trying to prepare you but still not nice at all...i kno it prob wont be possible but if ya can try think positive thoughts it may help....sending u strength and love xx

:hug:

My heart is breaking for you Freya :hug: :comfort: :hug: sending you the stickiest vibes I can muster xo

Freya- :hug: :hug: Oh hun, i hope not! I can imagine the fear your feeling:crying: . Are you having another done today? My hcg monitoring happens every 2 days.....just to see how much it's gone up. Just try to rest.....and cry if you need to.
The doctor might be enthusiastic, which is good, but what do you feel in your gut....i always just knew. Thinking of you
xoxoxox

Im so sorry to hear this Freya. My heart just breaks for you. :hug:

I hope everything turns out to be ok for you and that your HCG is just a little sluggish to begin with and then takes off.

Thinking of you too.

:hug:

sending tonnes of sticky vibes your way hun.... I hope & pray everything turns out well.

You're not being "selfish" or "greedy" wanting another child... not at all.... you're entitled to want another child & to HAVE another child :hug:

Really hoping to hear some good news from you hun xoxoxoxo :pray:

Great big hugs :comfort:

It doesn't sound positive. Are you having another test? It may have improved or confirm if things are dropping off. It may be too early for a scan atm.
Have you had your progesterone levels checked? After my m/c and recurrent spotting, I now go on progesterone when pregnant, for peace of mind if nothing else. It wont stop a m/c if there's something wrong with the baby, but it might help prevent one if I'm just not producing enough.

If this is another m/c , it might be time to get a recurrent m/c panel done. There's lots of reasons that could be contributing, especially to early losses.

I really hope you're wrong.

dont give up till its time to give up

with Luke my levels doubled etc, but then the 4th b/t they should have been 24000+ but were only around 17000 I gave up went for my scan thinking yep its over we even told the tech not to worry about giving us the bad news we knew it wasn't going to be good, well low and behold Luke is now 15mths old a beautofully healthy

so dont give up until you need too....

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I'm so sorry this isn't going better, don't give up just yet :hug:

Sending lots of sticky vibes your way.

Freya, sending so much love and sticky vibes your way. Praying your bub is ok. xxxxxxxxxx

Much love, support and sticky vibes huni. Xxxx

Sent from my GT-I9000 using Tapatalk

:hug: :hug:

I'm sorry that you are alone, and struggling. It's not greedy wanting more children.
:comfort:

sending hugs and hoping.....

OH sweetheart, I wish I could take the pain away, make this all better.

I wish there was something I could say that would take your hurt away...

Squishy hugs hun!

xoxo

I'm so sorry your going through this again :hug:

Oh Freya :comfort::hug: I'm praying that this is not the case and sending you lots of sticky vibes x

:hug: :hug:

I'm hoping that the lack of rising levels is nothing to worry about but considering I have been in your position the same amount of times, I know how difficult it is to try to remain positive when all the odds seem stacked against you. Unfortunately the waiting won't go any quicker regardless of how you are feeling (pessimistic or optimistic). I wish you wern't alone - is there anyone you could call to come and just be with you or lend a face to face ear? Or someone that could take the kids while you have a soak in the bath and cry it all out? Hugs hun, it's so farking unfair

Oh Hun.

I hope that your bubba is a sticky one!

Hugs

There's nothing more beautiful than creating a new life for this world. Please don't feel guilty for wanting that. My thoughts are with you and I hope wholeheartedly that your precious baby stays with you ♥

I hope it is all okay :hug:

:hug:... I hope that it sticks for you and you don't have to go down this horrible road again :(

I'm thinking of you babe and hoping this is one of those threads that looks bad but turns out good. We've all seen them before so it is possible - but I totoally understand why you might not be able to go there.

Do you have a friend you can call to come over tonight after the boys are in bed? I know what that waiting is like, it's hell on earth. I wish you had someone with you just to give you a cuddle while you have a big cry.

And you are not greedy for wanting another. The heart wants what the heart wants.

:comfort:

Freya darling, I am praying this little one sticks for you! :comfort:
Keep us updated
xxx

Freya, hoping and praying with all my might that your little one can stay :hug:

Children are a beautiful blessing, and wanting more to love and cherish is far from greedy x

Freya, my hcg levels were low (umm 74 I think at 4weeks) and quite slow to double at first but then I had a massive increase and I'm almost 15 weeks now. I also had spotting which turned to bleeding and cramping. I had an ultrasound when I was supposed to be 6 weeks and I was only measuring 4.5 - 5 weeks (which would have been impossible with my dates) so I was 99% sure this pregnancy was going to be my 5th miscarriage.
Like Tashybabe and others have suggested, can you get your progesterone levels checked? I am currently weaning myself off progesterone and I really do feel that it helped this baby stick around.

I have everything crossed that your baby will stick around and that your body is just doing strange things (like mine did!). Big hugs... I know how terrifying and frustrating it is!

Xxxx

:hug: I'm so sorry you're going through this again, but your GP is right, it's not over yet hun.

And for the record, you're not being selfish wanting 4 children, you are very much being a selfless and extremelt loving mummy wanting to give another beautiful baby a wonderful family to grow up in :hug:

:comfort: I wish I could fix this :hug:
:hug:

Thinking of you

Oh Freya :hug: I really hope all works out

:hug: :hug:

Hugs hun, thinking of you.

Regards,
Dianne