calling all SAHMs - how often do you ...

Ok, so for those who don't know me, I'm a full time career mum, with the most beautiful little 9 month old bubba at home with his wonderful full time SAHD.

DH doesn't get much done from day to day, and it's starting to drive me nuts.

When I'm at home (if I have the day of work, etc) I get tons done - but it's not my standard day, IYHKWIM.

And (to play devil's advocate a little more) the only time I've been at home long term (since before I went to kindergarten!) was the 10 weeks I got off from 1 week before DS was born, until he was 9 weeks old - and he slept beautifully! So I got tons done then, too ...

So, there are all these things which in my mind should get done a couple of times a week, or daily, or whatever, and I'm wondering whether my ideas are pie in the sky ... so I'm hoping to hear back from some SAHMs to find out whether I'm being realistic!

So I'd love to know how often you do the following things:-

• top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO
• outside time with LO
• cleaning dogs' bowls
• brushing cat and/or dog
• bathing LO
• bathing dogs
• shopping
• cleaning toilets
• cleaning basins
• cleaning bath/shower
• dishes (by hand)
• washing cloth nappies
• washing other clothes
• full cooked dinner
• walk with LO
• walking dogs
• vacuum floors
• sweep/mop floors
• vacuum couch
• wash sheets - LO
• wash sheets - yours!
• cleaning benchtops
• cleaning stove
• mow lawn
• weeding/pruning
• cleaning the fridge
• general tidy
• cobwebbing
• sweeping the porches
• cleaning the car (inside)
• cleaning the car (outer)
• dusting
• cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc
• filing/paperwork
• whatever I'm forgetting!

Just wanting to make sure I'm encouraging DH to do what is needed, without being one of those stereotypical 1950s husbands screetching, "but what did you DO all day?!?"

TIA

:)

Hardly ever! 9 months is FULL ON parenting! I bet he is lucky to sit down for lunch most days! I know that I struggle to get a lot of stuff done & its pointless to even try.

Will come back tomorrow in comp to copy and paste proper answers.

Oh wow. If my DH expected me to call those things done either a couple of times week, I would be heading down to my nearest family lawyer and I am not joking.

A number of those things you listed are no where near monthly jobs, let alone weekly or daily. Will give it a go though:

top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO - umm as needed
outside time with LO - a couple of times day - often when hanging out the washing
cleaning dogs' bowls - when needed (change dog for cat)
brushing cat and/or dog - rarely, as needed
bathing LO - DH and I do that nightly
bathing dogs - see cleaning car outside
shopping - once or twice a week, often DH helps
cleaning toilets - once or twice a week (on a good week)
cleaning basins - a couple of times a week
cleaning bath/shower - once a fortnight
dishes (by hand) - dishwasher here, so on daily plus hand washing daily
washing cloth nappies - na
washing other clothes - daily
full cooked dinner - normally 6 nights a week, back in DD1's first year, DH did most of the cooking as I was struggling
walk with LO - er no, don't live in a walking area
walking dogs - see cleaning car outside
vacuum floors - once every week or two
sweep/mop floors - sweep couple of times daily - mop every week or two
vacuum couch - once a month
wash sheets - LO - fortnightly
wash sheets - yours! - fortnightly
cleaning benchtops - daily
cleaning stove - after cooking
mow lawn - that is for DH
weeding/pruning - that is for DH, but sometimes I help
cleaning the fridge - as needed
general tidy - most days
cobwebbing - when it irratates me too much
sweeping the porches - as above
cleaning the car (inside) - not going there
cleaning the car (outer) - not going there, pay someone else to do it. Last time I tried the dog got run over
dusting - when it irritates me too much
cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - ummm seasonal thing
filing/paperwork - as needed

I know I deal with chronic illness, so what I can get done in a day is probably nothing in comparison to most people, but I'd be lucky if I actually manage to do ONE thing from that list each day.

hi peanutter,

I have found the older DS gets the harder it is to get stuff done. It was MUCH easier when he was newborn and sleeping etc for me to do the housework than it is now he's only napping once, scared of the vac, attached to my leg, getting into 'something' he shouldn't or "helping'' lol.

However, i do a big clean about once a week - so that's the bathrooms/toilets/dusting etc
WAshing up is done at least 3 times a day and all benches wiped, front of cupboards wiped - i hate a messy kitchen.
Child washed daily. Dog can shake herself off and stay outside, lol but she gets bathed every few weeks. She gets a game every day but not walked as often as we'd like.
Floors get done about twice a week, but that's getting difficult cos i"m preggy and have a bad back.
I wash nappies every 2nd day and I do two or three loads of our washing through the week. We then do one big washing day at the weekend as well -that does mats/towels/sheets
I do get dinner done about half the time, but DH also helps with this as DS just goes feral about that time in the arvo and it's difficult for me. the slow cooker is my friend.
We go out and play outside everyday unless rain
Walk about 2/3 times a week
Go to 2 playgroups; a coffee group and swimming lessons - that takes up four mornings a week.
I do all the grocery shopping - so probably twice a week, soemtimes more.
I don't do the cars at all or the outside stuff - that's dh's domain.
I put paper work aside for filing but DH always ends up filing it lol

I'm getting slacker as i get more preggy but i'd say i do the bare minimum. But DS always has freshly made meals, clean nappies and clothes, and lots of play with me and other kids. He really takes up a lot of my time, and then i try to potter around and get what i can done.

If i don't get dinner cooked, floors swept or washing done, DH either does it or says nothing. He knows DS can be a real handful and sometimes once they are asleep you just want to lay down for a rest yoursefl... or finally have that hot cuppa you were trying to get at 8am!

At the end of the day I often say to DH "i've been really busy, just don't ask me what i've done!" and It's like flipping ground hog day too... sometimes it just really gets you down cleanign the same thing over and over iykwim. Oh and children are messy!

Hope that helps. I think it depends on how each child is to handle and expectations. For me, it's a sense of pride to have my housework done - i feel like it's MY job now and i feel really crappy if DH has to do any of it (not that he minds or sees it like that).

:)

I'm working part time now. But in my SAHM days I'd be lucky to get that list done in a week.. or two....

* top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO) Once a day if I didn't pop them in the bath
* outside time with LO - does going to the shop count?
* cleaning dogs' bowls - I just throw my dogs food in the garden so she has to 'hunt' for it. Closer to nature that way, keeps her busy and no bowls to wash. Do people wash dog's bowls?
* brushing cat and/or dog - dog weekly or as needed. cat never.
* bathing LO - daily
* bathing dogs - does taking her to the lake for a swim count?
* shopping - daily.
* cleaning toilets - weekly or if there is a skid mark
* cleaning basins - weekly
* cleaning bath/shower - weekly
* dishes (by hand) - when they are dirty
* washing cloth nappies - no idea
* washing other clothes - 1 load a day
* full cooked dinner - most nights but eggs on toast counts
* walk with LO - that's going to the shop
* walking dogs - she comes to the shop
* vacuum floors - as needed
* sweep/mop floors - as needed
* vacuum couch -as needed
* wash sheets - LO - when they get dirty
* wash sheets - yours! - mondays
* cleaning benchtops - as needed
* cleaning stove - as needed
* mow lawn - DH does that or I get a gardner
* weeding/pruning - whatting??
* cleaning the fridge - when it gets embarressing
* general tidy - as needed
* cobwebbing - cobwhatting?
* sweeping the porches - when it gets noticbley in need of a sweep
* cleaning the car (inside) - I take it to the car wash once a fortnight
* cleaning the car (outer) - carwash does it
* dusting - when I see dust
* cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - nope,
* filing/paperwork - when I can't see my desk
* whatever I'm forgetting! -

I'm not a SaHM but did stay home for the first year with Pip, so hope this helps


So I'd love to know how often you do the following things:-

top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO - twice daily
outside time with LO - never (no outside!)
cleaning dogs' bowls - daily
brushing cat and/or dog - ummmmmm
bathing LO - weekly ( he had showers though)
bathing dogs - fortnightly
shopping - twice weekly (walking down to the shops)
cleaning toilets - 1-2 days
cleaning basins - same as the toilets
cleaning bath/shower - weekly
dishes (by hand) - twice daily, although sometimes they'd pile up to every 2 days
washing cloth nappies - every 3 days
washing other clothes - when there was a load complete!
full cooked dinner - every second day - I would cook double meals and alternate cooking / non cooking days
walk with LO - 2-3 times / week
walking dogs - with LO
vacuum floors - daily
sweep/mop floors - vacuum with carpet (not sweep) mop weekly
vacuum couch - day before mothers' group meeting!!!!!
wash sheets - LO - weekly unless mucky
wash sheets - yours! - weekly
cleaning benchtops - after every meal prep
cleaning stove - no stove, but hotplates after every use
mow lawn - no lawn
weeding/pruning - no garden
cleaning the fridge - before major shops (so about once a fortnight)
general tidy - each night
cobwebbing - about once a month or as needed
sweeping the porches - fortnightly
cleaning the car (inside) - his car, I left it alone
cleaning the car (outer) - about once / month
dusting - weekly
cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - never
filing/paperwork - his job
whatever I'm forgetting! --> ironing / folding - ironing once/week, folding daily

TBH, with washing (you forgot towels!) I'd do a load every day. Nappies got thrown in with the towels, so the main thing was washing wasn't piling up, and neither was folding.
flylady does help with routines and doing stuff in 15-minute breaks, which is handy with a young bub. stuff like washing the car became "me time". But we were lucky with Pip's naps, when his naps were more erratic, nothing was achieved.

I'm in the same boat as you, and I'm in the process of sorting out with DH what chores he will do and I will do after work. For me, a priority is for DH to have time out from the kids, I know how impossible it was when DH would come home and I'd have a horrid day where all I'd be doing is rocking the baby and he would walk in the door, I'd hand him the kid and go for a walk - so encourage him to take the dog walk as a "timeout" for him.

• top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO - never?? She gets a bath every night and wash her face after every meal instead
• outside time with LO - depends on the day really, if I have washing to hang out then we'll play after that and we take the dog for a walk every day in the park so I class that as 'outside' time as well.
• cleaning dogs' bowls - err..hardly ever! He licks his food bowl pretty clean, and his water bowl is one of those clam shell pools so I just give it a good hose out whenever it gets a bit yuck.
• brushing cat and/or dog - definitely not as often as i should! Especially now as soon as we are outside with him DD races over going "pat pat pat" and if Itry and brush him she wants the brush soo it's just all too hard..lol
• bathing LO - every night
• bathing dogs - again not as often as I should but he goes swimming regularly so is kind of self cleaning :lol:
• shopping- grab things more on an 'as needs' basis, we are only a couple of blocks from the supermarket so I find it's easier to walk up there every few days and get what we actually need, rather than driving up to do a big shop once a week. If it wasn't so convenient I'd do it once a week, but that would entail more work (i.e. better meal planning and list writing!)
• cleaning toilets - weekly when the bathroom is done
• cleaning basins- weekly
• cleaning bath/shower- weekly
• dishes (by hand)- every night (dishwasher for regular dishes)
• washing cloth nappies- every 2nd or 3rd day
• washing other clothes- when the laundry basket is full, maybe one load every 3 days?
• full cooked dinner- try and cook most nights, but on average we would have takeaway once a week.
• walk with LO- most mornings when we take the dog out
• walking dogs- daily, sometimes twice a day if the weather is great
• vacuum floors- once a week (should probably be more, often it's more like every week and a half or every two weeks :hide: )
• sweep/mop floors- after it's been vac'ed
• vacuum couch- not very often
• wash sheets - LO - try and do it weekly
• wash sheets - yours! - should be weekly, probably ends up being fortnightly!
• cleaning benchtops- wipe down after breakfast and after dinner, or if it gets really filthy
• cleaning stove- monthly..or before a rental inspection...I always look at it and think I must clean that tomorrow..and of course tomorrow never comes :hide:
• mow lawn- when it needs doing, often it's left until it's quite long and is desperate to be done!
• weeding/pruning- err...when there is more grass than garden?!
• cleaning the fridge- twice a week before I take the rubbish out
• general tidy- pick up DD's toys every night, if I know I'm going to a certain room and there is something in the room I'm in that needs to go there I'll take it.
• cobwebbing- when the spider webs start to annoy me
• sweeping the porches
• cleaning the car (inside)- before a big trip
• cleaning the car (outer)- when I can't see out the windscreen
• dusting- when i can write my name in it :lol:
• cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc- don't have any of them!
• filing/paperwork- judging by the gigantic pile of paperwork sitting on a desk...every 6 months?! Lol

Maybe just give him a list of the most important things that need doing that day/week and try not to worry about the other stuff. e.g. leave the mowing/paperwork/cleaning out rooms etc until you are both home and can do it together. When you think about it, child care is a full time job in itself so it can be hard to find the time (and sometimes the motivation, because looking after a child really can drain your energy reserves) to fit in housework.
And once DS is on the move there doesn't seem to be much point in tidying up, because they'll only come along behind you and undo all your work!

for the moment, I'd just try and enjoy your DS, do the important housework things for hygiene's sake, the rest can wait. Housework is loyal like that ;) and he really will grow up far too quickly so make the most of it while you can! :D

*Disclaimer: we live really close to the park/walking track along the river (like I block away) so it only takes a couple of minutes to get there and it's just become part of our morning routine which is why we go walking so often! If we didn't live so close or I had to drive to be able to get to somewhere walkable I'd probably be lucky to go 2-3 times/week.

Hmmmm have to agree with Astrid, but will answer and give you a run down.

top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO face/hands after eating, bum after nappy changes
outside time with LO - whenever we can try for once maybe twice a day
cleaning dogs' bowls - once a week
brushing cat and/or dog - never
bathing LO - DH does all three
bathing dogs - once a month
shopping - once or twice plus online once a fortnight
cleaning toilets - we have three one is daily others weekly
cleaning basins - as above
cleaning bath/shower - once f/night by a cleaner
dishes (by hand) - dishwasher once maybe twice a day
washing cloth nappies - everyday
washing other clothes - daily
full cooked dinner - everynight
walk with LO - too hilly
walking dogs - never
vacuum floors - every other day
sweep/mop floors every other day
Cleaner also does floors including stairs once a fortnight
vacuum couch - dunno!
wash sheets - LO - as needed
wash sheets - yours! - fortnightly
cleaning benchtops - daily
cleaning stove - after cooking
mow lawn - DH
weeding/pruning - DH
cleaning the fridge - once a month
general tidy - everyday
cobwebbing - never have any hate spiders so asap!
sweeping the porches - dh
cleaning the car (inside) - when it's full!
cleaning the car never - long story but usually pay while shopping to get it done
dusting - cleaner
cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc just moved so all done
filing/paperwork - as it comes in

We have a cleaner to help as we have three bathrooms, stairs and I just dont have the time to do it after chasing three kids. I also take them all swimming, have one dancing and mchn, dr's appointments etc.

My best advice is just come home spend 10 minutes doing what is bugging you the most so you can sit and have time together.

:

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[LIST]
Maybe just give him a list of the most important things that need doing that day/week and try not to worry about the other stuff

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If DH ever gave me a list he might end up with paper cuts in one of his orrofices :p

I have been a stay at home mum for 6 years, so here are my answers for an average day

• top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO - daily
• outside time with LO - daily
• cleaning dogs' bowls - as needed, maybe weekly
• brushing cat and/or dog - never (short haired dog)
• bathing LO - every 2nd day
• bathing dogs - never, unless he gets a swim at the beach
• shopping - a couple of times a week
• cleaning toilets - twice a week
• cleaning basins - twice a week
• cleaning bath/shower - after use
• dishes (by hand) - once a fortnight (we normally use the dishwasher)
• washing cloth nappies - daily
• washing other clothes - daily
• full cooked dinner - daily
• walk with LO - 3 times a week
• walking dogs - 3 times a week
• vacuum floors - twice a week, more if really messy
• sweep/mop floors - as vacuuming
• vacuum couch - once a week
• wash sheets - LO - once a week
• wash sheets - yours! - once a week
• cleaning benchtops - as needed, so maybe a couple of times a day
• cleaning stove - after use
• mow lawn - never, it mows itself (although hubby seems to get covered in short grass clippings about twice a month)
• weeding/pruning - never
• cleaning the fridge - twice a year
• general tidy - daily
• cobwebbing - when I see one
• sweeping the porches - n/a
• cleaning the car (inside)- never
• cleaning the car (outer) - never
• dusting - almost never
• cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - once a year
• filing/paperwork - once a quarter
• whatever I'm forgetting!

Basically I try to keep the house tidy, and have a meal ready each night. But things like cleaning the car/mowing the lawns are weekend jobs that DH does, and TBH I try to avoid shopping with the kids. My days are spent reading stories, going to the park and doing things like that. My mum always told me to try and get one household chore done a day, on top of dishes and laundry, and that would be enough. Your kids will not remember if there was dust collected on top of the TV, but they will remember if you read them stories and tickled them and made every waking minute a game.

• top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO) - When they were 9 months? Never? Bums were cleaned at nappy changes or bathtime (every few days, unless they got dirty before that). Faces when we were going out. :lol:
• outside time with LO - At 9 months? Maybe if I had to be outside for something, I'd let them toddle along with me. They do like to eat everything at that age though...
• cleaning dogs' bowls - n/a
• brushing cat and/or dog - n/a
• bathing LO - every couple of days? We have a hose attachment for the bath, so that's handy too, for quick rinses.
• bathing dogs - n/a
• shopping - online, or at night once partner is home, or get partner to grab stuff on the way home, or go together on the weekend.
• cleaning toilets - that's his job. But...weekly?
• cleaning basins - Err...less than weekly...monthly?
• cleaning bath/shower - whenever I want a long shower
• dishes (by hand) - I never did them when it was by hand...that's why we got a dishwasher. I'd get him to wash and I'd dry and put away and we'd talk about his day.
• washing cloth nappies - no more than every second day, but that's how cloth nappies rolled for us.
• washing other clothes - when the basket got full or we started to run out of clothes.
• full cooked dinner - when they day had gone well. Often he'd get home and entertain the kids to free me up for dinner. If this is an issue, a slow cooker might be his friend.
• walk with LO - when I needed to walk, or when LO needed to burn some energy. But at 9 months they can do that pretty well inside.
• walking dogs - n/a
• vacuum floors - just before guests come.
• sweep/mop floors - as above, or when I start to get annoyed at crumbs sticking to my feet
• vacuum couch - rarely.
• wash sheets - LO - when they dirty them. Or on a nice hot day.
• wash sheets - yours! - as above
• cleaning benchtops - daily (but it's in the middle of our house, and it makes a huge difference).
• cleaning stove - just before the MIL comes. Or she cleans it.
• mow lawn - his job. When we start to wonder what the neighbours think.
• weeding/pruning - as above.
• cleaning the fridge - about 2 weeks after something spills
• general tidy - I do a sort of sweep of the house once the kids are in bed. Before that it's pointless. I have cane baskets I chuck miscellaneous mess into throughout the day to keep it looking tidy.
• cobwebbing - very occasionally.
• sweeping the porches - it's too windy here, they sweep themselves.
• cleaning the car (inside) - errr. rarely.
• cleaning the car (outer) - when he wants to escape the kids.
• dusting - before vacuuming. Sometimes.
• cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - when it's hard rubbish or we have extra room in the bin.
• filing/paperwork - not often.
• whatever I'm forgetting!

Don't forget that the hardest thing about getting stuff done with kids is the constant interruptions. It's hard to stay focussed on any task. I think it's reasonable to expect him to do stuff while bub is asleep, but not every day goes as planned. I used to have a plan that DH and I agreed on, where Monday would be general tidying and clothes washing, Tuesday would be general tidying and sweeping, Wednesday would be general tidying and .... - and so if I was having a crud day, all I needed to accomplish was those, and if I didn't get them done while bub was awake, I had til the end of the day to do it. So he'd sometimes come home, and distract the kids while I snuck out and did the laundry or whatever.

top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO) - twice daily depending on the weather
outside time with LO -as much as i cancleaning dogs' bowls - daily
brushing cat and/or dog - i dont have any pets
bathing LO - daily
bathing dogs - again no animals
shopping - 2-3 times a week
cleaning toilets - daily
cleaning basins - daily
cleaning bath/shower - daily
dishes (by hand) - 5 times a day.. maybe more
washing cloth nappies - no nappies
washing other clothes - daily
full cooked dinner - every night bar one
walk with LO - 2 times a week
walking dogs - lol no animals
vacuum floors - daily
sweep/mop floors - daily
vacuum couch - daily
wash sheets - LO - weekly
wash sheets - yours! - weekly
cleaning benchtops - after every time i use it
cleaning stove - daily
mow lawn - every 1 1/2 weeks
weeding/pruning - same as mow
cleaning the fridge - weekkly
general tidy - each night
cobwebbing - dont get many so maybe monthly
sweeping the porches - nightly
cleaning the car (inside) - weekly
cleaning the car (outer) - weekly
dusting - daily
cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - every 3 months or when there is council pick ups
filing/paperwork - monthly
whatever I'm forgetting!-
I do most of these things daily even if they dont need to be done i do it.. i guess its just become routine to me.

lol Onyx BUT I wanna know what you and DH are doing in your sheets on the weekends that they must be washed on Monday :ROFL:

I'm going to preceed this with, I do what I do because I like to have it done. It's a choice, not a chore. It did not get done as often when my children were smaller.

top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO - they wash their faces in the morning.
outside time with LO - every afternoon
cleaning dogs' bowls - n/a
brushing cat and/or dog - n/a
bathing LO - nightly
bathing dogs - n/a
shopping - once a fortnight
cleaning toilets - every day or two
cleaning basins - every day or two (saves it from building up and getting yuck)
cleaning bath/shower - once a week
dishes (by hand) - every day
washing cloth nappies - daily with the washing
washing other clothes - a/a
full cooked dinner - there isn't really another option here, about once a fortnight they get breakfast for dinner.
walk with LO - we walk DD to school threeish times a week
walking dogs - n/a
vacuum floors - at least weekly but usually every 2 days
sweep/mop floors - mop weekly
vacuum couch - when there is enough food to warrant it, but usually when vaccuuming
wash sheets - LO - weekly
wash sheets - yours! - weekly
cleaning benchtops - whenever there's something in them
cleaning stove - after cooking
mow lawn - weekly (yes I have to as Dh works away)
weeding/pruning - a/a
cleaning the fridge - weekly on garbage night
general tidy - twice a day
cobwebbing - I don't have too many as I'm a bit anal about dusting
sweeping the porches - when i mow
cleaning the car (inside) - on Fridays
cleaning the car (outer) - when it' dirty
dusting - weekly
cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - we have non of those
filing/paperwork - as it comes in

:

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Oh wow. If my DH expected me to call those things done either a couple of times week, I would be heading down to my nearest family lawyer and I am not joking.

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WOW!! I should have clarified ... some of these things, I would do once every month or two, others I would chip at every now and then, and do thoroughly once every month or so ... I totally would not expect them all to be done on a daily, weekly or even fortnightly basis!!!

just to clarify ...

i'm a shocking housekeeper...but DS & i do have fun!!

* top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO) - never really - he gets a bath every day (and has done since he was about 2 months old), face & bum are cleaned as & when necessary
* outside time with LO - most days, depending on the weather
* cleaning dogs' bowls - n/a
* brushing cat and/or dog - n/a
* bathing LO - every day but DP does this after dinner, before DS goes to bed (used to be almost as soon as he got home from work when DS was younger)
* bathing dogs - n/a
* shopping - once a week i do the weekly shop, sometimes have to go another time for extra milk or something
* cleaning toilets - once a week
* cleaning basins - once a week
* cleaning bath/shower - ugh, maybe once a fortnight, i'm slack on this! bath gets a wipe down more often
* dishes (by hand) - probably twice a day
* washing cloth nappies - n/a
* washing other clothes - maybe 3 loads a week
* full cooked dinner - every night
* walk with LO - not that often anymore, more often when he was really little
* walking dogs - n/a
* vacuum floors - not often enough. tend to vacuum properly once a fortnight & use the dustbuster where i need to more frequently
* sweep/mop floors - same as with the vacuum
* vacuum couch - maybe once a fortnight
* wash sheets - LO - once a fortnight
* wash sheets - yours! - once a fortnight
* cleaning benchtops - twice a day
* cleaning stove - every couple of days (i'm taking this as the stove top, not including the oven!!)
* mow lawn - hardly ever. we both stall at this one!
* weeding/pruning - hardly ever - but we don't have much of a garden
* cleaning the fridge - once a week
* general tidy - every day
* cobwebbing - when they annoy me
* sweeping the porches - hardly ever
* cleaning the car (inside) - once a month
* cleaning the car (outer) - practically never - although we did both our cars a couple of weeks ago. i used the drought as my excuse!
* dusting - once a week
* cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - rarely & it's usually a joint task
* filing/paperwork - as needed

yeah, i know - pretty slack! some of the stuff only gets done if we're going to have visitors!

I am a SAHM, my hubby is the full time career one. If he didn't do such a good job of helping me, this place would look like a cyclone went through permenantly. I RELY on his help to get things done. Bub is No.1, housework...gets done on an absolutely NEEDS to be done, clean as I go kind of a way. I am a terrible housewife - I am a great mum! LOL!

So to your list (which I will answer baseon when I had one child at 9 mths):


•top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO: If child needs cleaning - I clean it.
•outside time with LO: if I want to be sane, walking daily is excellent
•cleaning dogs' bowls: not my responsibility. DH wanted dog - he does all doggy duties
•brushing cat and/or dog: DH
•bathing LO: we shower together, hubby helps with this
•bathing dogs: DH, as needed
•shopping: sometimes i do it, sometime DH does it on the way home from work, sometime we all go togther on the weekend
•cleaning toilets: I like to do this at least weekly...but sometimes more, sometime less
•cleaning basins: Again, i like to do tis weekly...but it really depends on our our we plans out, and DH helps
•cleaning bath/shower: again, try for weekly (you think I am gross....)
•dishes (by hand): as needed...DH helps of evening or in morning....
•washing cloth nappies: NA for most part
•washing other clothes: this stage we had a small washing machine, so nearly every day one or two loads.
•full cooked dinner: what? LOL! I would make a super batch, and freeze some, or eat the same dinner two nights on a row.
•walk with LO: every day
•walking dogs: DH - walking a dog, pushing a pram = INSANITY!
•vacuum floors: everyday, sometimes more...the vacuum is never away, occassionally it gets done 'properly', usually by DH. with a crawling baby this was important.
•sweep/mop floors: not nearly often enough, but enough for sanitary living
•vacuum couch: DH will do this monthly, on a weekend, more or less
•wash sheets - LO: same sheets as us
•wash sheets - yours!: do you really want to know? i wish i could say weekly...oh how i wish i could!
•cleaning benchtops: i do this as i go...but it gets done properly eachday - usually
•cleaning stove - as needed....i like the kitchen clean.
•mow lawn - dh job as needed
•weeding/pruning : we do this as needed
•cleaning the fridge: mmmblue moon
•general tidy : if dh helps it is quicker..weekly maybe///with a 9mth old this was pretty easy...once they start getting their own toys out and pulling thing out if drawers and off shelves...iy gets frustrating picking up the same thing 6 times...once at the end of the day (with a helping hand) is enough
•cobwebbing-hahahahaa
•sweeping the porches- occassionally
•cleaning the car (inside) - dh does this when he wishes
•cleaning the car (outer) = dh rarely (water restriction s got us out of this habit)
•dusting- ocassionally...when it bothers me
•cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc: dh domain
•filing/paperwork - as needed

mmmmmmm....my dh is pretty damn good....he wishes he could be a sahd.

top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO - hardly ever.
outside time with LO - I can see my backyard from my kitchen, so maybe 20 minutes to feed the bunny/chickens and water the plants, other than that I just supervise while I do things inside, my DH doesn't do this the same though, it makes him uncomfortable not to be out there.
cleaning dogs' bowls - um... never. They lick their own bum and dig up and eat month old bones, a dirty bowl is the least of his worries, plus he generally only gets dry food.
brushing cat and/or dog - once ever 2 months, but he's short haired and we have a special brush that strips dead hair. (DH)
bathing LO - every second night unless grotty. (DD by DH, DS by me)
bathing dogs - once every 2 months.
shopping - weekly
cleaning toilets - weekly
cleaning basins - weekly
cleaning bath/shower - weekly
dishes (by hand) - rarely, that's what dishwashers are for...
washing cloth nappies - every 2 days
washing other clothes - every 2-3 days
full cooked dinner - 6 days out of 7 (DH does two days, I do 4)
walk with LO - we do lots of incidental walks but only one planned big 1hour walk a week - well, I walk he gets pushed.
walking dogs - small old dog and big back yard = rarely
vacuum floors - once a week or when required
sweep/mop floors - sweep kitchen every day, other areas swept once a week, mop all once a week (DH does kitchen, I do the rest)
vacuum couch - do mean under the cushions? We have a leather one, doesn't change the answer though - when we move house.
wash sheets - LO - weekly or when required
wash sheets - yours! - weekly
cleaning benchtops - daily (done by DH)
cleaning stove - once a year (DH)
mow lawn - monthly in winter, fortnightly in summer (DH)
weeding/pruning - depends upon the season really and we have chooks so little weeding, maybe once a month... (DH and me)
cleaning the fridge - once a month (DH)
general tidy - every day (DH and me)
cobwebbing - twice a year
sweeping the porches - front never, under back pagola once a month
cleaning the car (inside) - bimonthly (DH)
cleaning the car (outer) - bimonthly (DH)
dusting - once a month
cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - yearly (DH)
filing/paperwork - weekly
whatever I'm forgetting!

I have to go back to my military days and have a checklist with set jobs for set days that I can tick off, otherwise it only gets done when it needs to get done (i.e. when I have no clean undies left and I need to go commando).

Nutter, at the mo, I am putting d to sleep in her pram..... With one hand, and wiping the kitchen benches with the other.

I will knock off a couple of things from your list.

Top and tailing.... I wash d's face when it's dirty after food, and her bum during changing, bath at night, that's enough for me.

Dog brush and wash, my dog is verrrrrrrry hairy and he only gets a going over when I'm outside and kids are playing. It takes 3 hours for me to fully groom him, so I'd do it with help.

Washing, when the basket is full. Which then coincides with taking kid outside to play with washing basket and pegs!

Toilets, when theyve been destroyed by husband and ds

Bathroom, bath etc, when I'm in there finally having a shower!

Shopping, I like to do that with dh, we put our heads together, deal with one kid each, then have coffee afterwards.

Walks.... I used to combine dig walking and kid walking into one.

Vacuuming, on the weekend when dh is home. D is petrified and spends most of the time clinging to my leg, which makes it difficult to vacuum anyway!

Cooking - every night but it's a long process as 9 month olds like to learn to walk using your pants as leverage.

It is actually a hard age, they want to be independent so you spend a lot of time making sure they dont get hurt. They want to explore.... For example, d's fave activity at the mo is pulling all the dvd's out of the cupboard. Yesterday I put them all away again 4 times. I'm sure your dh is doing the best he can, but he has something against him as a sahd, and that is the ability to multitask!




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When I was home with ONE child I was a gun housewife. My mother, who used to say you could tell a good housewife by whether the tops of her doorframes had been dusted, thought I took the whole housewife thing too far. When Flynn was, say, 6 months old, I reached the stage one Sunday night when I had NOTHING to do. Even my "junk drawer" was organised.

My DH was home full time as a SAHD since Flynn was a baby so I had him around to help, and I was back at work part time then full time when our second was 7 months old (they are 18 months apart). So DH was home full time with a 7 month old and a toddler. I was WAY harsh on him - I couldn't understand why nothing got done.

Now I am home FT with my three (Flynn is 4, Oliver 3 and Rose is 5 months). So this is what I have been "reduced to" by my kids LOL!

* top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO) : not at all LOL - she showers with us every 3 days or so
* outside time with LO : limited to walks in pram on kinder run days
* cleaning dogs' bowls : no dogs but I doubt we would wash them unless really flyblown
* brushing cat and/or dog : see above
* bathing LO : twice a week?
* bathing dogs : if we had them, when really smelly
* shopping : 4 hours a week if I have all 3, 2 hours if just me
* cleaning toilets : twice a week
* cleaning basins : once a fortnight
* cleaning bath/shower : when it looks bad
* dishes (by hand) : never (we have a dishwasher)
* washing cloth nappies : daily
* washing other clothes : daily
* full cooked dinner : daily
* walk with LO : kinder runs only
* walking dogs : if we had them, kinder runs only
* vacuum floors : weekly
* sweep/mop floors : fortnightly
* vacuum couch : monthly (or whenever one of the boys dumps sand on it out of their pockets
* wash sheets - LO : weekly
* wash sheets - yours! : weekly
* cleaning benchtops : daily (full wash weekly)
* cleaning stove : daily
* mow lawn : DH's job
* weeding/pruning : I don't garden at all
* cleaning the fridge : weekly
* general tidy : more times a day than I care to record
* cobwebbing : not often enough - monthly?
* sweeping the porches : monthly
* cleaning the car (inside) : yearly (LOL!)
* cleaning the car (outer) : never
* dusting : weekly
* cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc : weekly
* filing/paperwork : weekly
* whatever I'm forgetting!

:

---

I'm in the process of sorting out with DH what chores he will do and I will do after work. For me, a priority is for DH to have time out from the kids, I know how impossible it was when DH would come home and I'd have a horrid day where all I'd be doing is rocking the baby and he would walk in the door, I'd hand him the kid and go for a walk - so encourage him to take the dog walk as a "timeout" for him.

---

This is kind of where we're at ... some days, I catch the train before 7am, I get home at 10 or 11pm, and all I want to do is cuddle DS, breastfeed, and then snuggle in bed with DH for a while ... but then I get to the end of the week, and I haven't healped out with any housework, but the place is a disaster, with 5 loads of unfolded washing, no clean undies and I haven't had a proper dinner in a week (not even eggs on toast, Onyx! :() ... so we're trying to find that balance!

Peanutter it really is way harder with an older bub rather than a newborn. I really do sympathise with both you and your DH. Is he in touch with the Northern Dads Playgroup? (PM me for details if you like). Your DH will probably be feeling REALLY isolated and you are no doubt feeling ripped off (men who worked the hours you do get everything done for them, right? well, they did in my fantasy when I worked full time).
Working the hours you do, are you well paid enough to get a cleaner? DH was super against one when he was a SAHD but now I am full time at home and he is studying FT and we have three, he has realised one will be a GREAT idea when we are both working.
And can I say you are doing a stellar job to still be breastfeeding!

:

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This is kind of where we're at ... some days, I catch the train before 7am, I get home at 10 or 11pm, and all I want to do is cuddle DS, breastfeed, and then snuggle in bed with DH for a while ... but then I get to the end of the week, and I haven't healped out with any housework, but the place is a disaster, with 5 loads of unfolded washing, no clean undies and I haven't had a proper dinner in a week (not even eggs on toast, Onyx! :() ... so we're trying to find that balance!

---

Can you start by working out what the priorities are... I know for me, I can live with a pile of unfolded washing if the dishes are done, say. Start by working out what is most important to you both and then go from there.
Some of those things on your list, like vacuuming the couch, honestly the last time I did it was a month or two ago, it needs doing much more than that, but it just ain't gonna happen (just an example, it might be one of your priorities :)).
So maybe if there are things that are very important to you, there are things that are not so much?...

What roryrory said! You are amazing - those are huge hours to be away.

It is a matter of priority. I find I can get the washing on no worries, and bring it in..but folding? ironing..putting away??? The spare bed became the clean clothes area, to avoid the sprawling dirty clothes from fraternising with the clean ones. So to combat the washing, I know have 5 washing baskets. As I take the clothes off the line, the get sorted (one per person, and one for non-clothes). Socks get paired as they come off (if possible), on a good day, I hang them in pairs). This way, if that is as far as I get, then at least you only have to dig through one basket to find clean undies.

Be kind to yourselves. xoxo

xox

PS - great thread...may seem odd, but it has been threaputic to read that I am not alone in my unhousewifelyness, :) Quite a few laughs in those lists!!

PPS - you need to look after your health, by eating well. Cooking casseroles and other freezables helps. I had a month where I had frozen dinners from the shops until I got better sorted...not ideal, but better than some alternatives. Work it out with Dh (of course), but getting home at 10 or 11 pm, are you eating at work before you get home? can you heat up a meal at work?

I've heard of the Reservoir Dogs :lol: I'm trying to get DH interested in giving them a crack ... and "Tumbletots" which sounds great too ... and our church has a play group, and there's local swimming lessons, and Tiny Tots library group, and our MHCN group ... but again, that's the problem - I run around like I'm on speed, whereas DH is very content (not lazy) and we're completely different. eg: at one point in time, I was doing Arts/Law full time, had a full time job as a PA, 3 part time jobs (telesales, fish mongery and market research), and was also tutoring two nights (years 10 and 12 maths and psych), babysitting one night (3 girls), and doing ABS Census deliveries and collections in my "free time", and we hosted a party once or twice a week, basically every week.

So normally, we balance each other out super well, but at the moment, we'll have Bible Study on at our place, and I'll call DH to check that he's ok, DS is ok, the house is ok, and we have something for supper, and our definitions of "ok" and "supper" are ... well, different ...

DH has made it clear though that he doesn't want me making him a list (I think that I would get those paper cuts referred to below....) and that he wants to get into his own routine, but he's been at home full time since late July, and nada ...

so this thread is getting me a good glimpse of reality, and then maybe DH can get a bit of a dose of that too.

my income is enough that DH doesn't have to go back to work, but no luxuries ... :pray: that after EOFY that will change, and there will be enough maybe for a gardener monthly and a cleaner fortnightly, but we'll see.

but feel free to make any more suggestions. I'm completely aware that DS at 9 weeks is radically different from DS at 9 months, and given we're TTC for #2, I'm super keen to get our needs and ideas in sync now, before #2 makes his or her appearance!!!

Sorry, my reply is pretty higgldy pigldy I'm on my phone.
I am at home with DS who is 8months full time & a terrible housewife. DF works long hrs, 2 jobs.
other than washing nappies there hasn't been more than 1 load of washing every few days and its all been DF's work clothes done by him.... I have been commando on & off for a gd month.
TBH I would be lucky to do most of those things like mopping done monthly no matter how badly they needed it. Our dishes generally only get done when there r no clean ones....
The person who does the most housework in our house is my sister when she visits lol
I am VERY lucky if I have my 1st meal before 2pm.


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oooh, that list is giving me a headache so I'll just tell you what I do and don't do.

These are the most important things to me:

Eating well. So I meal plan, go grocery shopping a lot and cook a lot from scratch.
Getting DD out of the house daily. The weather is not always great here but I either try to encourage DD to play outside or we go into town and/or to the playground/swimming etc.
Keeping the living area reasonably tidy and the kitchen 'workable' so dishes washed and benches cleared and clean. Tidying the living area and cleaning the kitchen happens multiple times per day.
I vacuum when it looks cruddy. Could be twice a week, could be once a fortnight. Depends.
I'm less bothered about hospital-clean floors as long as there's not heaps of visible crud on them. I actually can't remember the last time I mopped.
Toilets get cleaned quite a bit, basins get cleaned as needed.
Children get bathed as needed or when we've finished dinner early. Certainly nowhere near every night. Probably 3-4 times per week.
Paperwork/filing/paying bills gets done haphazardly though I've got a lot on direct debit so usually everything is pretty shipshape.
I keep on top of the washing. I'd say we average two loads per day.

I am the same as most others, i tend to go with what really needs doing and take it from there. Some days i have my "must really get done today list, and others i say stuff it its play day and we just basically create more mess! Or we escape the messy house and go out for the whole day :ROFL:

Also i have ds(2 and a half) in day care for one day so its just me and dd(eight months) for awhile that meant i got heaps done on mondays, and that was my "cleaning day" but now she is at the age where she is crawling and chasing me and getting into things and generally not happy if i leave her sight for more than two seconds! So its getting harder and harder to find that time.

So now Sunday is generally our cleaning day and DH helps alot, we have a system where one either cleans or distracts children! Its the only way!!

But here goes for the list...

* top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO) : face when she is really dirty after eating, bum when i change her nappy. DS just stays dirty til his bath or else i would be chasing him with a washer every five seconds, unless we go out, then i give him a bit of a scrub

* outside time with LO : DS has free reign and he pops in and out of the back yard as he wishes, i go out sometimes or i make use of the time doing cleaning lol (read BB) DD has only really just begun to venture outside, i will take her out with me when i hang clothes out or to play ball or something, but never for too long coz we have not much shade in our yard

* cleaning dogs' bowls : when they are really gross and disgusting

* brushing cat and/or dog : our big fella malts alot, but he is outside most of the time, so not very often, usually after a bath, maybe once a month

* bathing LO : ds every day, dd every couple of days

* bathing dogs : our girl who comes inside once a fortnight or when extra smelly, our big fella who stays outside, not so much

* shopping : i go mondays to the mall/kmart if i need something there, and i do a woolies shop on wednesday with both kids, and DH takes DS to the fresh food markets for daddy day out on sundays

* cleaning toilets :have to steal Onyx's line here.. but more like once every two weeks unless there is a skiddy

* cleaning basins : when i notice its really dirty

* cleaning bath/shower : when it looks bad or when i have the rare opportunity of a shower by my self, then i will give it a scrub

* dishes (by hand) : we have a dishwasher, but there is still some stuff i try and wash by hand, however, even with the dishwasher, i still have times where dishes are all over the place coz i havent emptied dishwasher yet. Sometimes i try to rinse them and at least have them in the rack ready to put in, or sometimes i consider in a nice pile next to the sink good enough... tonight all over the kitchen benches is ok :)

* washing cloth nappies :n/a for the sole reason of not having extra washing

* washing other clothes : i try daily at least one load, it works when i do it, but other times it builds up and then i think, well if i wait another day i can have a white load a blacks load and a colours load, and then i do DD seperately, so some days i do none, some days i do three

* full cooked dinner : DH does the cooking, when its my turn to cook i dial pizza

* walk with LO : i try and make the effort to walk DS to day care or a few times a week we will walk to the local shop or the closest park

* walking dogs : sadly no where near as much as they should, much too hard witha 2 yo and a pram :-(

* vacuum floors :this one i do alot, mainly coz DS eats in the loungeroom coz we have wooden floors. I vacum every couple of days, sometimes more than that. But every couple of weeks i do a "good" vacuum and actually like move couches and chairs and stuff, its amazing what things disapear under our couches!!!

* sweep/mop floors : mopping i try to do once a week, but if i fail i dont mind

* vacuum couch : same time as the floors, if i got it out i might as well use it to do it all

* wash sheets - LO : weekly or if they are looking really bad

* wash sheets - yours! : fortnightly or if they are looking really bad

* cleaning benchtops : many times daily, but it can still look a mess even if i have done it five times that day

* cleaning stove : i try to do it nightly if i clean the kitchen up after dinner, but some nights (like tonight) i just turn out the light and it can wait til morning

* mow lawn : DH's job once a fortnight usually

* weeding/pruning : hmmm i think he does it at some stage

* cleaning the fridge : a bit of a clean out wed morning (bin day and shopping day) a good wipe and clean when its really bad

* general tidy : more times a day than I care to record, again on a good day/night i do try to do a final tidy of the lounge and kitchen, but some nights i either fall asleep putting dd to bed, or i just cant be bothered

* cobwebbing : i did that the other week.. we have been in this house nearly a year...

* sweeping the porches : after a big storm or whenever we are out the front for a while and the broom is there too

* cleaning the car (inside) : i got into trouble from DH for how gross the car was (he even got ds saying "mummy your car is gross") so he gave it a really good clean and since then i have been making a concious effort to empty the car of crap after each trip!! So far i have been doing good, its been about a month now!!!

* cleaning the car (outer) : not very often, DH will sometimes take it to car lovers or if he is inspired he will do a home job every month or so or if we are going away

* dusting : hmmmmmmmmmm

* cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc : i put lots of stuff IN the shed.....

* filing/paperwork : i do have my desk fairly organised, i have bills to be paid etc, and file them after i have paid them, but some times if i am doing something extra there is some added mess

I think its hard to keep a real schedual, and some days as SAHP you have the best of intentions to get this or that done, and then your dear sweet LO has "one of those days" and you end up not getting anything done. Which can mean stuff builds up and then makes it even harder to get ontop of.. i am guilty of DH having to ask me to wash him undies coz he doesnt have any, and yes sometimes its because the clean washing is stashed in the spare room not folded or put away, and sometimes its coz its in a huge dirty pile of clothes that need washing.
I know some days i feel guilty about having to clean instead of play with the kids, especially when DS is saying mummy stop that and come play!! And then ya know what, when the odd occassion happens that they are both asleep at the same time, do ya really think i feel like jumping up and saying "oh joy i can go clean this or that now!!" NO WAY i go "phew... i am just gonna sit for a minute!!!" (or like i said to DH the other day, if i started cleaning i would make too much noise and wake them up!!! :)

I know that im not the best house keeper, and its one of those things i look back to my life BC and it hink my gosh i wasted some time there, remember when i could just do what had to be done when i wanted to, and yeah usually i didnt want to but i COULD!! lol I should have been much better back then....... ooops.

Top and tailing.. He gets bathed daily
Outside time.. Not at all coz hes only 5 months but he loves being outside so when hes grizzly I carry him around out there
Cleaning dogs bowls.. Not at all, the dog only gets biscuits, cats bowls I do as required though, maybe once/twice a week
Brush cats/dogs.. Dog never, short haired and maily outdoors, cats; not nearly as often as I should
Bathing LO.. Daily
Bathing dog.. Once a month
Shopping.. Fortnightly
Cleaning toilets.. Weekly
Cleaning basins.. Weekly
Cleaning bath/shower.. Weekly
Washing dishes by hand.. Each night
Washing cloth nappies.. Don't use them :hide:
Washing clothes.. Ds' every second day, ours weekly
Fully cooked dinner.. Daily
Walk with LO.. Daily if not every second day
Walk dogs.. See above
Vacuum.. Twice a week
Sweep/mop.. Fortnightly
Vacuum couches.. Twice a week (dam cats and their hair)
Wash sheets -LO.. Weekly
Wash sheets -your.. Weekly
Clean benchtops.. Daily
Clean stove.. Daily
Mow lawn.. As required (depends on the amount of rain we get) anywhere from fortnightly to monthly
Weeding/pruning.. When lawn gets mowed
Cleaning fridge.. Fortnighly
General tidy.. 3/4 Times a day
Cobwebbing.. As required. Every few Months
Sweeping the porch.. Monthly
Cleaning the car (inside).. Weekly
Cleaning the car (outside).. Every few months
Dusting.. Weekly
Cleaning attic/basement/garage.. Monthly
Filing paperwork.. Fortnightly
Whatever I'm forgetting.. Nope pretty much covered it all lol

• top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO - never
• outside time with LO - several times a day, when hanging washing out, etc
• cleaning dogs' bowls - never, don't have a dog :P but the cat's bowls get washed when they need it (only eat dry food)
• brushing cat and/or dog - never brush my cats
• bathing LO - DH does this in the evening
• shopping - once a week, delivered by coles just have to unpack and put away, and once a week at the markets to get fresh fruit & veg
• cleaning toilets - once a week
• cleaning basins - every couple of weeks
• cleaning bath/shower - ummm once a month :redface:
• dishes (by hand) - twice a day for all the plastic cups plates, heavy pots anything that can't go in the dishwasher which gets loaded and run every night
• washing cloth nappies - every couple of days
• washing other clothes - one to two loads a day including towels
• full cooked dinner - every night
• walk with LO - part of incidental - to playgroup/library/kindy if weather is good
• vacuum floors - twice a week
• sweep/mop floors - sweep on the days I don't vacuum and mop once or twice a week
• vacuum couch - twice a week (we have cats who leave their fur everywhere!)
• wash sheets - LO - as needed, every couple of weeks
• wash sheets - yours! - every few weeks, but I don't make the beds on the weekends, I pull the sheets back and let them air out on the bed
• cleaning benchtops - everytime I use them
• cleaning stove - umm never!
• mow lawn - DH does this, every couple of weeks in summer, less in winter
• weeding/pruning - the lawnmower cuts all the weeds :D pruning every now and then when I'm outside with the kids
• cleaning the fridge - weekly just before my shopping gets delivered
• general tidy - daily
• cobwebbing - as needed
• sweeping the porches - every few months
• cleaning the car (inside) - DH does this every couple of months
• cleaning the car (outer) - DH does this every couple of months
• dusting - as needed, I find keeping on top of the vacuuming and sweeping reduces the dusting
• filing/paperwork - never (i hate it!) maybe once a year when I need to get all my taxes done lol
• whatever I'm forgetting! if you've forgotten it, then I have too!

I'm with fionas on this...it depends on priorites.

My priorities are getting dd out of the house each day, having a nap with her, and getting dinner organized (which often just means prepping for dh to cook when home...his hours are unpredictable and keeping meals warm stresses me!)

I also like clean ironed clothes, so that plays a role in my week, with washing and folding happening every couple of days and ironing once a week.

The kitchen is always clean because I clean as I go.

The floors I can ignore, but usually once a fortnight.

The bathroom and toilet are as needed. So varyng from weekly to fortnightly (the toilet is daily atm as dd is toilet training).

I garden each week because dd and I both enjoy it.

At nine months dd would cry when i left the room. Hated the vac and I used to do all housework with her strapped to my back. She also used to try and eat anything, so gardening was difficult.

Oh and dh used to cook more because she was attached to my boob from 5-7 most nights.

I think your dh probably has to spend a lot of energy keeping himself entertained too. It's hard being isolated with a baby...housework just adds to the loneliness...

It's a very long day for both of you...can I ask how dh copes being alone for so long? I go batty when dh works late and that's usually only once a fortnight.

my DP and I viewed making sure DS was "looked after" as one full time job, DP's work as one full time job, and the housework we had to share.

It really is a full time job with a 9 month old, espec because bub is normally a bit more clingy then previous months. The time it takes to do several nappy changes, clothes changes, generally cleaning after bubs feeds, kitchen/bench cleans, finding time to eat yourself when bub finally lets you, sitting for 5 seconds when bub finally lets you etc. Its hard and it would be harder if my DP worked the hours you do. I'm not having a go, just that people really underestimate the energy it takes. If my DP was to say to me 'why havent you done this, or that' or 'what have you been doing all day' seriously most days I would have nothing to say apart from 'the baby has clothes on and is fed'. Some days as a SAHM it feels like I accomplish nothing other then that.

We are both great at multi tasking now, or doing tasks together, such as before I put the towels/washer/handtowels in the wash I quickly wet one and use it to wipe down the benches in the bathroom. when Ds is eating breakfast I sweep, etc.

he does need to find his own routine, the problem that I found is that just as I got into a routine bub would grow and change and what worked 2 weeks ago doesnt anymore because bub is now crawling, getting into more things, teething, sick etc. Hope you both find something that works for you, in the meantime try to stay focused on the fact your bub is well loved and cared for - the rest will fall into place soon enough.

* top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO - I have never even heard of this! Bath time at night, bum after dirty nappy, face if needed
* outside time with LO - if the weather is good and I feel like it. Usually when I am hanging the washing.
* cleaning dogs' bowls - cat bowl before I feed her, dog licked it clean
* brushing cat and/or dog - odd occasion
* bathing LO - most nights
* bathing dogs - every few months when the stink gets too much
* shopping - weekly
* cleaning toilets - every couple of weeks or more if gross
* cleaning basins - every couple of weeks unless really grotty
* cleaning bath/shower - honestly, a couple of times a year. Should be more, but it is very low on priority list
* dishes (by hand) - load dishwasher daily, wash odds and ends by hand after tea
* washing cloth nappies - every day or two
* washing other clothes - every day
* full cooked dinner - every night
* walk with LO - once a week
* walking dogs - just died but before that not often, too old and sore.
* vacuum floors - 2-3 times per week
* sweep/mop floors - 2-3 times sweeping, mopping hardly ever
* vacuum couch - 1 per week
* wash sheets - LO - once a month
* wash sheets - yours! - once a month (or two)
* cleaning benchtops - daily
* cleaning stove - top when dirty, inside almost never
* mow lawn - DH's job, every couple of weeks
* weeding/pruning - not done
* cleaning the fridge - couple of times a year
* general tidy - daily
* cobwebbing - once in a while
* sweeping the porches
* cleaning the car (inside) - quick tidy every few weeks, full vacuum not often
* cleaning the car (outer) - couple of months
* dusting - never
* cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - almost never
* filing/paperwork - couple of months
* whatever I'm forgetting!

* top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO I always gave baths
* outside time with LO at least once a day depending on weather
* cleaning dogs' bowls when we had a dog. usually when I fed it
* brushing cat and/or dog never
* bathing LO always once a day sometimes more depending on mess
* bathing dogs when we had a dog once a fortnight
* shopping we did this as a couple on weekends
* cleaning toilets most days
* cleaning basins most days
* cleaning bath/shower if I remembered when I had a shower
* dishes (by hand) depending on day 1-3 times a day
* washing cloth nappies once a day
* washing other clothes once a day
* full cooked dinner 4-5 times a week
* walk with LO depended if I felt like it or not
* walking dogs same as above
* vacuum floors once a day
* sweep/mop floors as above
* vacuum couch if I had time every few days
* wash sheets - LO 2-3 times a week
* wash sheets - yours! once a week
* cleaning benchtops when they were dirty or if I had time
* cleaning stove my Dh always did this
* mow lawn Dh did this as well
* weeding/pruning when I had time or could be bothered
* cleaning the fridge usually once a week
* general tidy most days (once again depending on how day was going)
* cobwebbing lol rarely
* sweeping the porches read above LOL
* cleaning the car (inside) Dh does the cars
* cleaning the car (outer) as above
* dusting when something bugs me I dust it
* cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc rarely :/
* filing/paperwork never
* whatever I'm forgetting!

I don't really have a set housework thingy. I just do what needs to be done. I remember when we had our first and when he was 9 months old we were both working full time. Dh would mow the lawns and do the cars on his one day off and we would both do a general tidy up most days..

When I finished work and stayed home (11months old) Dh would still do the yards and cars and I would do most of the inside stuff but I did find it hard to get a lot done when Ds was running/crawling around

Peanutter are you working as a lawyer in Melb ATM? If you are, look out for the Law Institute's up coming seminar on women and the law and balancing family with work - brought to you by yours truly :) (well I am one of the speakers)

I'd love to know how often you do the following things:-

* top and tailing (facewasher to face and then bum of your LO - faces get washed as needed, bums @ nappy change and then when they have a bath
* outside time with LO - almost every day, we have atleast 30min outside
* cleaning dogs' bowls - never, we have outside dogs, they lick their bowls clean :rofl:
* brushing cat and/or dog - hardly ever, were on 4 acres and we'd be burshing them for hours
* bathing LO - every 2nd night or daily if needed
* bathing dogs - once every couple of months or if needed
* shopping - big shop once a week (with both kids) and pop in if need little things
* cleaning toilets - once a week but they are 'brushed' daily
* cleaning basins - once a week but wiped down daily
* cleaning bath/shower - once every week/fortnight
* dishes (by hand) - every day (sometimes up to 2-3 times)
* washing cloth nappies - n/a
* washing other clothes - daily
* full cooked dinner - daily - we very rarely buy meals so i cook every night
* walk with LO - at the moment 3 mornings a week
* walking dogs - never, they have 4 acres to run around
* vacuum floors - every 2nd day
* sweep/mop floors - sweep every day in kictchen, mop weekly
* vacuum couch - once a week/fortnight
* wash sheets - LO - weekly
* wash sheets - yours! - weekly
* cleaning benchtops - wipe down after meals and when do dishes
* cleaning stove - after meals and 1 big clean a week
* mow lawn - the girls play area fortnightly
* weeding/pruning - hardly ever
* cleaning the fridge - as needed (wipe spills as required) but maybe 1 proper clean out monthly
* general tidy - every day
* cobwebbing - hardly ever
* sweeping the porches - once a fortnight.. i'd be doing it every day otherwise with the dogs
* cleaning the car (inside) - when needed
* cleaning the car (outer) - if were going somewhere people might think it looks gross.. we live in the country.. dirt everywhere.. no point :)
* dusting - as i clean lounge - 1 big clean weekly
* cleaning out attic/basement/garage/etc - never
* filing/paperwork - as required but DP's filing/paperwork weekly, his invoices were daily though
* whatever I'm forgetting!

DP was working 7 days a week and i was doing all this myself, he would mow the paddock and help with some outside stuff when he had the time but everything else was up to me.
I found it so damn hard when he would come home and ask what i had done all day, there were days where i could get NOTHING done and it made me feel like crap that what i WAS doing wasn't being appreciated.

I often think it's hard to explain what we do at home, unless your home doing it then i think it's hard to put into perspective, DP would come home the girls would smile and turn into angels and he'd think i had lost the plot.
My house

We have set up a house work roster only recently now that DD is 16 mths old and with twins due in a couple of months we needed something to give us a guide as to what to do.

Even though I am the SAHM my DH does alot of the general housework in the evening when he gets home from work...

Mondays: Washing - Our clothes (this is playgroup day so don't do too much else) - DD Bath night
Tuesdays: Washing for DD and dusting when DH gets home - Will be bath night for twins
Wednesdays: Washing for new babies (while they aren't here I'm starting to wash and prepare all items needed) - DD Bath night
Thursday: Washing our clothes and DH vacuum's & mops when he gets home - WIll be bath night for twins
Friday: Washing DH's work shirts & Washing for DD- DD Bath Night, cleaning Bathroom & Kitchen
Saturday: Ironing and DH will do work in the garden ie: mow lawns etc
Sunday: Family Day

DH will generally also cooked dinner 5 out of 7 nights as well and we alternate washing the dishes. Every evening once DD is in bed I will do a general tidy up and pack up her toys and get everything put back in order for the next day.

During the day if I notice things need doing I will put the carpet sweeper through and do a generaly tidy and after each of DD's meals I will clean the floor in the kitchen. I also will fit in with the housework roster time to go grocery shopping and to also take DD out for the day etc.

We have found that having the roster gives us a good idea of what needs to be done and as we are doing everything on a regular basis, we find that it only probably takes 10-20 minutes to do our allocated chores for the day instead of having to spend hours doing it all on one day.

Being a SAHM is not easy and sometimes things happen during the day that don't go to plan that is why both DH and I share the housework as even though he is going to work everyday I'm still doing a full time job being home looking after DD.