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Okay, so with Moo we were happy to find out the sex and tell everyone :D This time around we feel like finding out (baby willing ;)) and maybe keeping it a secret.
Trouble is that everyone who knows me, knows very well that I hate surprises and would definitely find out. So I'm in a bit of a pickle - do we pretend we don't know OR do we admit we're not saying?
What did you do?
We found out and intended not to tell anyone.
Shouldn't have told DS as he popped the bubble to everyone.
Then we briefly discussed names and used one we liked a few too many times in front of DS.
Now he has finalised the name and on top of that told everyone. *sigh*
Don't find out :lol:!!!!
If you are not going to tell anyone then my advice is don't fine out. It's too hard to keep it secret.
That said, I managed to keep my last pregnancy a complete secret for almost 17 weeks so it can de done :)
DC - oh no! That happened to a friend of mine too :D
Traveller - I'm really not good at keeping secrets at the best of times :lol:
Hmmm...maybe we should just tell lol.
I second DC's not letting your LO find out lol. Darcy did the same to us...though it was much later in the piece (like 36weeks).
We didn't find out with DD, so it was easy enough for us to get away with it with DS. But I found out accidentally at 34weeks. We told people we knew but only one person ever knew with 100% assurance (ie not the daycare teachers from Darcy blabbing), and that was the day he (the person) died.
This time I have been up front telling everyone we aren't finding out. That way even if we do - it's a plausible lie ;)
if you want to find out but don't want to tell maybe you can say to people we were hoping to find out but baby would co operate and uncross its legs (all the while knowing that you did find out) and hope that they believe you :-)
Hi CM, we found out and haven't told one single person! Except on here! We just told people we didn't find out and it's actually really nice having a little secret just for us!
The trouble I can see with knowing but not telling is that once people know that you've found out, they'll pester till you tell them! We found out we're having a little boy and have been happy to tell people, but now they're all asking us to spill on what names we've picked - and that we're not telling, but keeping just for us.
So if you do decide to find out, I wouldn't be letting on that you know by just saying bub wasn't co-operative and it was too hard to tell :)
We found out with our 3rd child, and we have also found out with this one. We just say no we didn't find out. It is my stock standard reply, we haven't told the boys as they would certainly tell everyone.
I find it quite nice knowing when no one else does.
We have found out this time round, but just telling people we didn't... Except I've told a couple of people sshhhh!
Kim - yes that's what I should've done in the first place!
MM - good idea :D
Taryn - yes it would be lovely to have a little secret! Oooh look at your ticker, counting down now!
CK - yeah same here with Moo, some people would NOT give up trying to guess his name. Very annoying! Good point about the pestering!
Megs - Not telling the kids sounds like a good start :D
UA - LOL I'm sure I'll tell a select few if we decide to 'not tell' too
Thanks everyone for your tips and opinions, lots to think about!
We found out both times. The first time it wasn't that much of a secret. Family knew mostly, etc.
The second time around we decided we could tell 2 ( or less) people that we trust each and then no one else would know until the birth. Our trusted people did their jobs well and didn't tell anyone nor let on they knew. :D
Good luck with whatever you decide.
we found out, but kept it a secret til the end.
I'm good at secrets and am incredibly stubborn, so most people didn't ask more than once :lol:
This time we'll find out again, and are undecided whether we'll let people know.
Jewel - that's a good idea about being allowed two people to tell.
Peanutter - well done on keeping it a secret! We're both pretty stubborn too :D
With DD1 and DS we told the world lol, but the DD2 - being the final member of the family we found out but didn't say anything to anyone lol.
So to make it a bit more believable we just told people that bub's legs were crossed and the sonographer couldn't tell.....white lie lol!
We found out and we told. We decided not to for the last two, but I was so guarded in my conversations because I didn't want to let it slip that it was just a lot less pressure to tell other people. It was only a secret for a couple of weeks before we told people. I would rather tell people on my terms than accidentally let it slip.
My best friend told me what she was having after I hosted her baby shower - no-one else knew, not even her parents so I was so relieved not to know until then. I could have accidentally said to the whole baby shower and that would be terrible. Honestly, if one of my friends was having a baby and wanted to tell me, and only me the gender again, I would be really flattered but decline knowing because it is too big a secret for me. That's just me though. It is such an easy thing to let slip especially if you do lots of talking about 'him' or 'her' and use their name (which we also did). I just couldn't remember not to do it around other people.
I was thinking of doing the same for our next bub (when it decides to happen) as it'll be our last. I think if we want to find out and not tell anyone I won't tell them we don't know, I'll simply say I'm not telling lol. Having said that, with DD we kept names to ourselves and got pestered (and even insulted!) about not sharing or welcoming others opinions so I'm expecting some very unhappy people when we cross that bridge lol. So I say find out and keep it to just you and your partner, it's nice to have a little secret every now and then :)
We found out and admitted nobody else is going to know until bubs is born.
occasionally when people asked "what is it" I would reply "a giraffe".
but this is coming from someone who rubs people's stomachs if they rub mine without asking ...
I found out and DH didn't. I was the only one who knew all pregnancies and let everyone know I knew when they asked the question. I played the game and didn't get caught out :lol: In fact I confused DH all three times :)
Leesa - a little white lie sounds okay to me! If we go ahead with not telling I might use that.
Just Me - yes I can see it would be very easy to accidently let slip!
Little Mrs - thanks, would be nice to have a little secret. I remember that pressure when I wouldn't spill on our son to be's name!
8 Weeks - good luck :D
Peanutter - :rofl:
Heather72 - oh one of my friends has done that with all 4 of her pregnancies! Would be so hard but pretty cool too.
Thanks again everyone, have enjoyed reading all your replies. This time next week we'll know :crossfingers: and will hopefully have it figured out as to telling or not. I'm really leaning towards not though!
We found out all three times. With DD1 we didn't tell anyone and managed to confuse a lot of people! I told people before we knew what the baby was that I would refer to it both as he and she, so if I slipped up and said 'she' I would just cover up with a comment about 'him'. I left a few blue singlet and suits around the house to give family the wrong idea. It was lovely for DH and I to share a secret no one else knew.
With DS, we were told at the 20 week US that he was a boy... and that he was most likely an 'unviable pg' due to a health issue. Termination was suggested and his gender was so utterly irrelevant that we told everyone he was a boy. (He's now a healthy almost-6 year old.)
DD2 we found out, but again called her both he and she and kept it a secret from everyone. I found knowing the gender when I was pg helped me to bond to my babies, but I know a lot of people like a surprise.
i have a friend/work mate who found out the sex, and just said straight out that she wasnt telling anyone else.
none of there business - it's yours and dhs special time ;)
DH and I don't want to know what we're having (#1 for us). We have our 20 week scan later this week. Any tips for how to avoid finding out by accident from medical or reception staff, both at the scan and in the months ahead?
We found out with ds and had chosen his name even before we knew he was a boy so there was no surprises for anyone. This time around we are gonna find out and do our absolute best not to spill the beans to anyone. Im one of those ppl that loves having surprises for ppl but hate being surprised so there is no way I couldn't find out the sex. We'll see how long it lasts before everybody knows hahah especially if its a girl I dont think I'll be able to contain my excitment :)
I found out with both but told everyone we didn't find out. I referred to the baby as he sometimes & she sometimes. With DD, even DH didn't know I'd found out and he still has no idea! It was incredibly hard keeping it secret though so if you think you'll struggle and don't want everyone to know, don't find out. If it was just up to me, I would have found out & told everyone both times.
Therebel - just make sure you tell them at the start of your scan that you don't want to know, & they will normally try to avoid that area totally.
With medical staff a lot of the time they will ask if you want to know, otherwise make it clear when talking to them that you don't want to find out - they may switch off your viewing screen while they're doing some of the measurements etc if bub is being a bit of a flasher on the day and most staff are pretty good about not giving the game away if you ask them not to tell :)
We will be finding out but keeping it hushed. (parents will know and going to be sworn to secrecy) but everyone else it's going to be kept a secret.
I've just told people we aren't finding out till it comes out! Lol!
Mind you I'm not the best at keeping my own little secrets!!! Lol
Sent from my iPhone (via Tapatalk) so please forgive the spelling mistakes...
My husband and I were the same. TBH unless they spend a lot of time looking for the genitals I really couldn't tell anyway LOL It's hard to know what your looking at sometimes unless they tell you.:
Our place asked us if we were having a surprise or not, and didn't even try to show us because we said we were.
:)
I found it so exciting when DD was born to find out what she was. I was having 3 scans a week for the last month and we managed to keep it secret.
Even if you find out, you don't have to say. You don't have to tell people. It's like your own little secret between you and your partner...
Nickle - I'm so glad your DS was okay, that would've been awful. I like the idea of saying straight out that you'll be referring to bubs as both he and she.
Corolla Chick - that's how I feel too, thanks!
Raffy - we sound very similar :lol:
Rowellen - that would be soo hard to keep from your DH!
LynsDan - good luck!
Charlotte91 - exactly :D
Okay, I think we're going to try our very hardest to keep it to ourselves...well I'm sure DH will have no problem, it's me that's going to struggle! Though I'm already getting pressure from people which is only making me more determined to keep a secret. Thank you everyone for your replies!
We decided not to tell with DD, but I got so use to talking about "HER" that it gave it away LOL I even did that with her name :rofl: ... if you don't tell me I will bop you, been watching like a hawk LOL
:lol: Oh don't worry, I'll be sharing on here! That goes without saying lol.
I saw this great idea for a party if you are interested ...
It's a gender reveal party. The people had all their friends over for afternoon tea and asked them to wear pink or blue (depending on what gender they thought the baby was going to be). They also had a cake iced in neutral colours but when they cut into it, it was blue inside revealing it was a boy. I thought it sounded like a really fun idea and something a bit different.
You can see the blog link here: Kate Landers Events, LLC: Baby Gender Reveal Party...Revealed on Layla Grayce! (if you click on the pink writing, it takes you to a more detailed blog about the party).
Maybe a bit OTT, but I thought it sounds fantastic!
I found out with both my girls but DH didn't want to know either time. The first time he didn't know I knew, but the second time he did. Most people respected my choice not to tell them - I certainly wasn't going to tell anyone before my DH found out except for my Mum, and that was with his blessing. DH's family the second time were very painful - constantly hassling me to just tell them and that they wouldn't tell DH. Got pretty uncomfortable cos it got beyond a joke - they seriously didn't understand why I wouldn't tell them. Our girls both had a male pregnancy name - obviously given before we knew what gender - that had special meaning to us so I found it easy to refer to either by that name and always as he or him.
I think these days that so many people find out that its a pretty standard question to ask. People should respect your decision though if you say yep, we found out but you've got until the birth announcement to find out.
Yes, the best tip would be IF the sonographer asks if you want to know the gender , just say NO. Or before the scan starts tell them you don't want to know. The receptionist or other medical staff are not privvy to that sort of information ... and well quite frankly, the 20 week scan looks at far more important things. Finding out the baby's gender is just an added bonus and not an essential part of the scan.:
Nae x
Yes, the best tip would be IF the sonographer asks if you want to know the gender , just say NO. Or before the scan starts tell them you don't want to know. The receptionist or other medical staff are not privvy to that sort of information ... and well quite frankly, the 20 week scan looks at far more important things. Finding out the baby's gender is just an added bonus and not an essential part of the scan.:
Nae x
We found out and told people we knew the sex, but didnt tell them. People pestered me alllllllllll the freaking time to spill the beans, but I just kept saying, "you'll find out in x weeks", which really drove them mental. I had fun messing with everyone, writing facebook statuses and "slipping" up putting a she in one sentence, then putting a he in the next. Stupid stuff like that lol. Drove them madder hahaha.
It was awesome having this big secret between DP & I, it was really special.
Although I completely slipped up when in labour. I had just got to the hossy, had a quick VE and my mum called to see how I was doing. "Oh I'm really good, bubs is doing well and my waters are bulging in front of his head" :doh: DP nearly facepalmed me LOL. I tried to rectify it with putting a she somewhere later on, but mum knew to well. She didnt say anything until after his birth though lol
Personally I would keep it a secret.. Just say you have found out but the tech wasn't 100% sure so you don't want to share :)