When I am going to get judged, c’mon I’m spoiling for a fight!

There is so much talk of judgment on here, all the time, about everything.

I’ve never felt judged. Ever. Why?

I’m bored, I’m itching to give someone a serve. C’mon people, gimme some judgement!

I’ve been breastfeeding for years now. I breastfeed everywhere, I’m not particularly discreet. No one has ever said anything, no one has ever even looked at me funny.

Are people actually judging me but I’m just completely oblivious to it? Because I’m generally happy, confident and busy. :dunno:

I don’t get it. I’ve got all my comeback lines ready to go, I’ve just got no way of using them. :lol:

Meh, I judged you a long time ago....You passed :lol:


Sorry x

Haha, I know the feeling. Maybe you just aren't looking for it ;) Try harder, geeze!! I can judge you if you want? Your...erm, avatar, it's too...ahhh, FLOWERY! Yeah, I said it.

But I agree. I haven't really come up against much judgement (that I've noticed) irl. I too have my comebacks ready :D

Meh! Lets wave to all the people judging us on Monday mornings hon when we flop out our boobies when we are having a coffee!!!

:rofl: almost every time I'm feeding in public, I just WISH someone would approach me :p At the pools a few weeks ago, I was all ready for a fight and nothing happened :lol: And just last week, I really thought this woman was going to have a go at me, because Amelia wasnt cooperating and just kept mouthing at me leaving my nipple exposed - all the woman said was "it's always the way isn't it? When you want to give it, they don't want it! You're doing well." :jawdrop: C'mon lady, I wasn't looking to be praised! :rofl:


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:rofl: Oh man do you know how many times I have sat down somewhere and had my "comeback" ready and waiting only to find I have NEVER needed to use it?

I had one case wher this aging guy was just staring at me while I BF DD to the point that I was uncomfortable and really covered up much much more than I ever would anywhere else ... then he approachedmeafter his meal ...... he gave me a pat on the shoulder and a knowing smile of sorts and walked off.

I think I must have a "just try me" look about me :dunno:

Nae x

i have had all the come backs ready too - and nobody has said anything!

i had one older guy sitting at a table with us (a friend of my aunts) - i was expecting him to say something about me feeding in the food court - and he did - but not what i expected! he told my intellectually disabled aunt to keep her voice down, she was disturbing the baby while she fed. and then after i'd finished feeding DD, he commented on what a happy healthy bub she was, and that the milk dribbling down her chin was proof her mummy was taking good care of her!

Lol I was at the shops a couple days ago and sat in the middle of a bunch of people from teens to old people and not one said a damned thing. I didn't even get any negative comments when I was feeding in Target and T pulled off and I sprayed everywhere so badly they needed to mop the floors :rofl:

My friends husband said the best one if your wanting to add, if anyone comes up to you in a place where they serve food and ask why are you breastfeeding here, or go in the bathroom etc, just say " Y don't YOU eat your dinner in the toilet" I loved it and was never more proud of a man! well besides my DF ;)

how come I've now got visions of Epacris doing a cowardly lion impression going "puttem up puttem up" :rofl:

Are you feeding that baby of yours anything real yet? Look at the size of him - your milk is not going to be enough!

:p

Feel better yet? Personally, I think you probably are being judged enough IRL but you're just far too self-assured for anyone to dare challenge you. Plus, your kids are turning out so great, what are they going to say?

From a different perspective...

I think you [generic you] have judged others when you expect them to judge you, and just sit around waiting for an event to happen that proves it. You've made an assumption about their character without any evidence.

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From a different perspective...

I think you [generic you] have judged others when you expect them to judge you, and just sit around waiting for an event to happen that proves it. You've made an assumption about their character without any evidence.

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You know what? That is completely and totally true. I do tend to judge what I think they're going to think of me. Tomorrow, I'm going to try and change my perspective on their perspective. We really aren't judged as much in Aus as in America, but since we hear all the stories from over there, we think it's just as common.


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks ;)

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From a different perspective...

I think you [generic you] have judged others when you expect them to judge you, and just sit around waiting for an event to happen that proves it. You've made an assumption about their character without any evidence.

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i think when you read about (or cop yourself) negative comments on everything in life, you kinda expect that BF is just one more thing for someone to say something about.

i have chosen not to spend time around certain members of my family now that DD is older because they ARE judgmental - they've not been in a position to say anything to me personally, but i've watched them say it to another family member, and watched how she hurt - and the fact that they just didn't give a damn how much they hurt her

so yeah, maybe being on the defensive is not giving the general community at large the benefit of the doubt - but at the same time, when you've been criticised by the people who should be most supportive of you about every other aspect of your life, it's kinda hard to have faith that those attitudes are limited to your genetic line!

Bullies pick their victims. No-one ever says anything to me either. I have been told (and believe it it probably likely) that it is because I come across as someone who wouldn't just sit there and tale it. Those people I know who have been targeted by judgemental comments, tend to be less sure of themselves in general and give off a vibe that they won't argue back or defend themselves from critism.

I too await the day someone is stupid enough to say anything to me (or about someone else in my hearing).... But because I am spoiling for an oppertunity to let loose, it will probably never happen.
:)

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You know what? That is completely and totally true. I do tend to judge what I think they're going to think of me. Tomorrow, I'm going to try and change my perspective on their perspective. We really aren't judged as much in Aus as in America, but since we hear all the stories from over there, we think it's just as common.


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks ;)

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That's great. I've made this mistake before and lost some potential friends because of it. Heck, I've even done it in BB and presumed I'd be judged for FF when it just didn't happen. We must be careful we do not create self fulfilling prophecy.

Hey Maruschke, that is a really interesting perspective, one I had never even considered before. And yes you are right, I do judge people, all the time. I almost always keep my judgements to myself or try very hard to find a diplomatic way of approaching things, but this is honestly not what this thread is about.

I just see so many people saying, “you’ve judged me” when really all they are doing is making an honest observation, there’s no “value” in their comments at all. And all the threads about what strangers say and do to people, I can’t believe some of the absolutely awful things some of you have been through. Seriously, why don’t those sort of pope pick on me? Exactly like Misty, I think, I can take it, hell I’m up for it!!!

Yep I understand. Nothing wrong with being prepared to defend yourself against others judgements.

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Meh! Lets wave to all the people judging us on Monday mornings hon when we flop out our boobies when we are having a coffee!!!

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Just for the benefit of everyone else, and as an example to illustrate my point, Belle and I have breakfast together every Monday morning at a cafe at our local shops with our babies.

We sit right in the middle with our hulking great prams, flop our boobs out everywhere and without exception, everyone, staff and customers alike, are absolutely lovely. The waitresses even hold and bounce our babies for us (if they’re not too busy) so we can eat our bacon and eggs with a knife AND a fork – with two hands! One morning a lady was staring at me while I was talking to my DS2 and I said to her “we just love each other” and she said, “I know, I can see that, I’m so sorry to stare but it’s just so lovely to watch” and then we both started crying (this is not unusual, I cry all the time) and she said she was just planning her mother’s funeral and it was so lovely to see a happy baby, the circle of life and all. So I handed DS2 over to her for a cuddle and she said “It’s 18 years since I held a baby, thank you so much”. Anyway, lovely stuff like that happens all the time to me. Old man fruiters, anyone, everyone, everything is just so positive. Life is good. I guess I’m not really looking for a bit of biffo, I’m too busy.

Epacris, there is a reason beautiful moments like that happen to you, whether you know it or not. Clearly you have 'that' feeling, aura if you like, that attracts those people.

Beautiful people attract other beautiful people, I have no doubt from the above that you brought an amazing comfort to that woman as she may have to you.

Have you read Mitch albom's 'the five people you meet in heaven' cos I'm pretty sure you would feature in that woman's story :)

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Lol I was at the shops a couple days ago and sat in the middle of a bunch of people from teens to old people and not one said a damned thing. I didn't even get any negative comments when I was feeding in Target and T pulled off and I sprayed everywhere so badly they needed to mop the floors :rofl:

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omg I needed that laugh! thanks hun!

:rofl: 'I too have been ready to go' with come backs and facts(my memory is so crap I have a little card in my purse with some nutritional content facts of breast milk in the second year in case I go blank :lol:) This came about from a couple of comments from people here in BB, nothing nasty, just saying there was no nutritional value in bfing after about 6 months, and no antibody benefits after the first 6weeks because all the good stuff is in the colostrum etc. I just wanted to have facts so I didn't give a completely defensive emotional response if it ever came about IRL. But it has never happened...yet :)

I completely get what you're saying too Maruschke. But I've never sat in public bfing and singled out a particular person or group of people thinking they may be the one to say something to me. I'm more just prepared if someone did. So I don't think I'm judging anyone, or everyone, just aware that there are judgemental people out there. IYKWIM, I'm not sure I do I'm so tired at the moment but I tried to explain myself lol.