Mummy Guilt - The good, the bad and the funny

I wanted to start a thread about Mummy Guilt but in a slightly "different" style. Not about the times we have been yelling at our kids or the first smack or anything like that, just those OTHER moments when you feel guilty based on the expression/comments from others about what you are or are not doing for your kids.

For example - My Mummy Guilt

I have spent a small fortune over the past few months to get my daughter a GREAT cubby house for her birthday. She is 2 this year and while I know she is still too young to really get into the present, I am also not a huge toy fan. I prefer more practical gifts rather than stuff for the sake of stuff.

Because the cubby was reasonably exxy and the fact that I am heavily pregnant we have also decided NOT to throw a party or have a gathering of sorts. A good friend and her kids will come for a play (at a park or play centre or maybe even at home) but nothing else. Not inviting family over (partly due to on going conflict) though I have told DH to take DD down to PILs place later in the arvo for a little bit. I am even debating doing a cake this year.

When people ask what we're doing and I reply with nothing this year - she got a large cubby house people look at me as if I am the meanest mummy in the whole world. I won't even get into the Christmas/Santa thing :rolleyes:

A thoughtless comment had me in tears rushing out to buy her something so she could open something on her birthday :lol:

Now I know there is that stupid saying these days "No one can MAKE you feel anything" but seriously funny looks and snide remarks often leave SOME sort of an impression.

So

What things have you had Mummy Guilt over :)

Nae x

Mine is similar - DD1 is getting a new bike for Xmas (she is too big for her current one) but all DD2 seems to get is hand-me-downs. Like she cares! But I got all guilted up about it when I was out at lunch today and went a bit nuts buying gifts for her so she doesn't feel hard done by at Xmas - again like she is going to notice, she's 2! And all she wants is a pink ball :lol:

I'm still breastfeeding my almost 2.5 yr old 4-5 times a day. Apparently that's creepy or weird or something.
I normally wouldn't care, but I must be feeling a bit vulnerable atm. So now it's got me second guessing myself and wondering if I should wean him of a few or all his feeds.
Which is stupid because we both enjoy it and I know it's good for him :wall:

My mum told me today I should be putting ice on Amelia's head every time she hits it - she falls so often I may as well strap an ice pack to her head!

...Okay, that sounds really bad :lol: She's just climbing everywhere and manages to hurt herself even if I've got the strictest eye on her :rolleyes:

DS doesn't always cry when he hurts himself, he just picks himself up and keeps on going. I always feel bad for not picking him up and giving him cuddles, but if I do then he gets cranky!

This is silly mummy guilt. We are getting DD1 a DS this Christmas, not because she wants one, but because I am sick of any more toys with bits coming into the house (also I would not mind having a play myself ;) ) So a bit of mummy guilt there, for having an agenda behind a gift.

As for feeling the guilt about not needing to buy anything for the second child, feeling that a lot here as well.

I felt guilty not that long ago because DD (15 months) waved hello at an older girl at the shops the other day and the girl didn't wave back. DD looked soo disappointed that I burst into tears right there at the checkout at Coles..I felt really bad for my DD...Looking back it was probably pregnancy hormones that caused my reaction but even now I can see her sad little face and it still hurts :cry:

When your 18 month old DD falls asleep in her high chair and does a classic face mash into her dinner, apparently you're meant to rescue the child and put her to bed not laugh and go looking for the camera...or so I'm told :lol:

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When your 18 month old DD falls asleep in her high chair and does a classic face mash into her dinner, apparently you're meant to rescue the child and put her to bed not laugh and go looking for the camera...or so I'm told :lol:

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You mean Mummy :rofl: LMAO

Yep, not buying as much or getting as excited about bubs number 2 :(

Also not spending heaps on pressies for dd this Xmas. She just doesn't need much and we can really do with saving some money.

Sigh. I don't think the guilts will ever disappear completely.

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I felt guilty not that long ago because DD (15 months) waved hello at an older girl at the shops the other day and the girl didn't wave back. DD looked soo disappointed that I burst into tears right there at the checkout at Coles..I felt really bad for my DD...Looking back it was probably pregnancy hormones that caused my reaction but even now I can see her sad little face and it still hurts :cry:

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TOTALLY in agreement with you here Delph!

Happens to my daughter as well :( She considers EVERY kid she meets her *new best friend* ... Breaks my heart everytime a kid rejects her friendliness ... but instead of bursting into tears, er, I explain rather LOUDLY that the reason the child didn't say hello back is due to the parenting :O ... wait, is that being a mean mum or just being a b!tch?

Lol I get the guilts when I have days where I just vacuum the kids stuff up 'mum have you seen my polly pocket shoes' 'um no dear' ROFL

or when I throw out their endless bloody artwork, lord give me strength, I love it to bits but really do I need to keep it all.

Sorry not a lot of mummy guilt their, maybe I have guilt about not having enough guilt?

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I felt guilty not that long ago because DD (15 months) waved hello at an older girl at the shops the other day and the girl didn't wave back. DD looked soo disappointed that I burst into tears right there at the checkout at Coles..I felt really bad for my DD...Looking back it was probably pregnancy hormones that caused my reaction but even now I can see her sad little face and it still hurts :cry:

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I do that too, i feel so bad for her that it sometimes really upsets me. My DD LOVES other kids and will often follow kids around. We were at the doctors last week and she sat next to another girl who must have been 3 or 4 and the girl turned to her mum and said "why is this baby sitting next to me tell her to go away!" my heart broke for my DD she sat there so sweetly next to her and even offered her a drink of her drink bottle but the girl kept moving away and poor DD didnt understand why :(

I feel REALLY bad when i have to wake her up when shes fallen asleep either in the pram shopping or in the car. when she wakes up and cries i want to cry too because i know shes tired and wants to sleep.

When she is sick or has hurt herself she always cries out for me and i feel bad if DP gets to her first and she screams hysterically until i cuddle her. Its a mummy guilt for DP :( i know its normal for her to be that way.

Whenever she is sick or is hurt i always blame myself, i get the worst mummy guilts. I cried when i saw a massive bruise on her leg when she tripped over the vacuum cleaner and i told her she was fine and to get up, she really wasnt fine and really did need a mummy cuddle :(

Hee hee Tegam...I've done the vacuuming thing too - only my response was "yes dear, you left them on the floor and now they're inside the vacuum cleaner. You can take it out and empty it into the bin if you want them"

Apparently when explaining the intricacies of how the baby is going to get *out* of my tummy, I should not fall off my chair laughing at DD's outraged "ewwwwww" and then immediately follow it up by saying "And yes, that IS how you came out too" just to get more of a reaction :rofl:

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or when I throw out their endless bloody artwork, lord give me strength, I love it to bits but really do I need to keep it all.

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I have been using some to start the fire with :hide:

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I have been using some to start the fire with :hide:

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hahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah hhh Astrid

I just HAD to share this with my hubby, we both are laughing rather hard!

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i have been using some to start the fire with :hide:

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you win rofl

I'm taking Zoloft for PND. This morning, DD 8 asked 'Mum, why do you take that medicine every morning?' I answered, 'It's my happy pill, sweets, it stops me from being Grumpy Mummy'. DS 6 pipes in with, 'Well, mummy, I think you'd better go back to the doctor - it's not working!!'

Oooo, am I that bad? I think he was joking! He has a great sense of humor and often cracks jokes. He was joking... right?

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I'm taking Zoloft for PND. This morning, DD 8 asked 'Mum, why do you take that medicine every morning?' I answered, 'It's my happy pill, sweets, it stops me from being Grumpy Mummy'. DS 6 pipes in with, 'Well, mummy, I think you'd better go back to the doctor - it's not working!!'

Oooo, am I that bad? I think he was joking! He has a great sense of humor and often cracks jokes. He was joking... right?

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:rofl:

I am feeling guilty because I am just not a 'stage mum'. I am dreading DD's school play - not the actual performance, but all the preparation required of me. I am not a seamstress, yet I have to produce a decent duckling costume, I am required to bake 2 cakes for the night and sell raffle tickets. It just feels like a big hassle to me....yep, I feel guilty even saying that!

Ok, this could be bad... :dunno:

I get mummy guilt when we're out with the pram and DS throws some of his food on the floor. Sometimes I pick it up, make sure no one is looking and give it back to him. Feeling the mummy guilt now just telling you guys :redface:

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when I throw out their endless bloody artwork, lord give me strength, I love it to bits but really do I need to keep it all.

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Sooooooo hear you on this one. But I have found that it makes great wrapping paper, so now I'm stocking up for christmas!

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Ok, this could be bad... :dunno:

I get mummy guilt when we're out with the pram and DS throws some of his food on the floor. Sometimes I pick it up, make sure no one is looking and give it back to him. Feeling the mummy guilt now just telling you guys :redface:

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I do that sometimes too! I just blow on it a bit and give it back (because that gets rid of the germs right?) Plus, I've seen him lick rocks and he's fine. It's all in the name of building up a healthy immune system :)

Oh this thread is cracking me up, yeah, I'm laughing at all your Mummy guilt :rofl: I should feel guilty about that.

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My mum told me today I should be putting ice on Amelia's head every time she hits it - she falls so often I may as well strap an ice pack to her head!

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FYI, you're not supposed to put ice on their head so ignore that :)

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I felt guilty not that long ago because DD (15 months) waved hello at an older girl at the shops the other day and the girl didn't wave back. DD looked soo disappointed that I burst into tears right there at the checkout at Coles..I felt really bad for my DD...Looking back it was probably pregnancy hormones that caused my reaction but even now I can see her sad little face and it still hurts :cry:

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omg that breaks my heart too, DD says hello to everyone and loooooves other kids. Makes me teary at the park when she's following older kids around and they don't play with her :(

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or when I throw out their endless bloody artwork, lord give me strength, I love it to bits but really do I need to keep it all.

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:rofl: same here, but seriously, I do not have enough storage space! lol. I try to wait a few days before chucking it as if that makes a difference, LOL.

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I get mummy guilt when we're out with the pram and DS throws some of his food on the floor. Sometimes I pick it up, make sure no one is looking and give it back to him. Feeling the mummy guilt now just telling you guys :redface:

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eep, I thought everyone did that!

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I do that sometimes too! I just blow on it a bit and give it back (because that gets rid of the germs right?) Plus, I've seen him lick rocks and he's fine. It's all in the name of building up a healthy immune system :)

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Yes i often do that lol
My mummy guilt is getting sick of playing with DS and putting a DVD or ABC2 on in the hope of getting some peace

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My mummy guilt is getting sick of playing with DS and putting a DVD or ABC2 on in the hope of getting some peace

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Me too! And also doing the same thing so that she is occupied so I can go and play Words With Friends on facebook!:shakehead:

You don't pick up food do you. Not off the floor. And give it back. *oh the horror*
Lol

Should I feel mummy guilt for not feeling guilty over any of these suggestions lol

I Get mummy guilt over the fact I am apparently wrapping my premmies in cotton wool and denying them socialization because I don't put them in daycare or playgroup (they get exposed to enough with 6 siblings
They tend to forget that every time they get a cold they with respiratory problems and end up on steroids or in hospital...it has nothing to do with building an immune system it has to do with crappy premmie lungs.


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That's just other people ignorance not your issue hun. There will be plenty of social things when they are older and stronger. Also that's why you gave them siblings.

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Ok, this could be bad... :dunno:

I get mummy guilt when we're out with the pram and DS throws some of his food on the floor. Sometimes I pick it up, make sure no one is looking and give it back to him. Feeling the mummy guilt now just telling you guys :redface:

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hahaha I dont even check if people are looking. If it's hairy I toss it (or pick the bits off if I can, and he's particularly attached to it) if not he usually gets it back.

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You don't pick up food do you. Not off the floor. And give it back. *oh the horror*
Lol

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I know. Bad, bad, bad mummy hey! But it's so funny because I am really paranoid about others judging me for giving my son food off the floor. And TBH before having children, I may have raised an eyebrow if I saw a mother pick something up off the floor and give it back to their child. Oh how things change. DH and often joke that 'in our house the 10 second rule has become the 10 minute rule'.

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Happens to my daughter as well She considers EVERY kid she meets her *new best friend* ... Breaks my heart everytime a kid rejects her friendliness ... but instead of bursting into tears, er, I explain rather LOUDLY that the reason the child didn't say hello back is due to the parenting :O ... wait, is that being a mean mum or just being a b!tch?

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Have you considered that perhaps some of those other children are shy? My DS doesn't often interact with strangers because he is shy. This is not due to 'parenting', it's just how he is. I am working all the time to encourage him, to little avail. It would really hurt if I overheard a *****y comment about my parenting because my child didn't respond to someone when we were out and about. Not all kids are the same, and if they aren't always polite and sociable it's often not due to bad parenting, as I believe was your implication.